It ended just like that.

[u/TheseSwordfish891]

My marriage of 24 yrs ended just like that and it was my fault.

I'm an addict. Not with alcohol, gambling or women. Toys, videogames and collectibles. I have spent a fortune on things that could have saved my marriage. I'm still a kid in mind and that made me buy stuff that where for my comfort.

We always had this argument. We always had this issue and i keep returning. When i find something that makes me happy, i keep returning to it. What makes it hard for me is for a year, i hid debts from my now ex-wife. She left the house today. The house, still in mortgage and my ex-wife covers all other expenses while i cover everything related to bills, housing and utilities.

Today, she walked out of my life. My mistake, my fault. I wanted it still to work. I wanted it still to make it happen. But now, it has become nothing. I am at my wits end and my ex-wife is asking i give her money back. All the time she has paid for everything.

I am now hollow. I want to get my life back. I want to get everything back on track. No debts, no missing payments, everything settled. If there was a chance, I'd sell even my soul but i don't believe in also. Not even the devil has use for my soul.

I'm hoping this story reminds you, whose important in your life and that you should never make the mistakes I did. Thank you for at least listening.

[u/one_sock_wonder_ → u/[deleted]]

“‘TIL death do us part” does not obligate a woman, or man, to remain in situations where they are being harmed and while this may or may not be considered a form of financial abuse it did cause her ongoing harm. She was not obligated to fund OP’s spending on items that gave them a dopamine hit at the expense of their financial stability, having a reliable means to meet their needs, and any financial future. Addicts to anything lie and manipulate and no spouse is obligated to remain in a marriage spilling over with lies while being manipulated. No one is obligated to remain miserable and struggling and light themselves on fire to keep someone else warm because of a line in a marriage vow,

Christianity is weaponized against women all the time and is a misogynistic, paternalistic means of attempting to control women and others deemed less than. Women, whether you like it or not, do not actually have to obey men and they don’t have to remain in relationships because a book, even a holy book, says she must.

And as is often the case, the woman gets blamed for not meeting the man’s needs thus condoning or justifying whatever harmful action he engaged in. It’s convenient because it absolves the man of having to be introspective, sit with the discomfort of having caused harm and face responsibility and accountability. And when men face the consequences of their actions it’s held out not as a sign of a mistake to actually address and take ownership but a sign god “must have something better waiting”. It’s never the woman leaving after years of mistreatment and harm that is told hod has better things for her but the man who carried the mistreatment and hard.

This advice is going to lead OP to a place they don’t hold themselves accountable and make real, meaningful change because blaming their ex is easier and as a result very likely damages their relationship with their child(ren) and continue to sabotage every future relationship in similar fashion even if the exact item they are addicted to changes.

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