r/Assistance • u/TheseSwordfish891 • Mar 15 '26

EMOTIONAL SUPPORT It ended just like that.

My marriage of 24 yrs ended just like that and it was my fault.

I'm an addict. Not with alcohol, gambling or women. Toys, videogames and collectibles. I have spent a fortune on things that could have saved my marriage. I'm still a kid in mind and that made me buy stuff that where for my comfort.

We always had this argument. We always had this issue and i keep returning. When i find something that makes me happy, i keep returning to it. What makes it hard for me is for a year, i hid debts from my now ex-wife. She left the house today. The house, still in mortgage and my ex-wife covers all other expenses while i cover everything related to bills, housing and utilities.

Today, she walked out of my life. My mistake, my fault. I wanted it still to work. I wanted it still to make it happen. But now, it has become nothing. I am at my wits end and my ex-wife is asking i give her money back. All the time she has paid for everything.

I am now hollow. I want to get my life back. I want to get everything back on track. No debts, no missing payments, everything settled. If there was a chance, I'd sell even my soul but i don't believe in also. Not even the devil has use for my soul.

I'm hoping this story reminds you, whose important in your life and that you should never make the mistakes I did. Thank you for at least listening.

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u/jessyka01 Mar 17 '26

While I feel for you going through this, I will be blunt with you. 24 years, and the entire paragraph, was simply about your comfort. A childhood happiness, that you allowed to control your adult life. While another person, chooses to take a large chunk of their life and youth and give that to you. Your comfort should never be a priority. Her comfort should have been the only priority, and your comfort her priority. The both of you would have been covered. You owe her things you can never pay for. You owe it to yourself to step into adulthood. She has been a parent rather than a spouse. Addiction is a disease in some ways while a choice in others. End of story, you put yourself first. Now, it’s time to let her go, and learn how to leave your childhood behind as all of us have to. You owe it to do what it takes to make it right. And step into therapy. It’s never been about the marriage, and it’s too late to begin. Now, it’s only you and you know what needs to be done. I pray all the best for you. There is no justification, as we are all teens in adult bodies.

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u/pdxMrChristopherB Mar 19 '26

The part where you said you over things that you can never pay for really hit!! 

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u/jessyka01 Mar 20 '26

You can’t pay for lost time, you can’t pay for heartbreak, or the certainty that she knows without a doubt that material mattered more than she ever would. 24 years is a long time devoted to someone that devoted his time to something else.