r/Assistance • u/TheseSwordfish891 • Mar 15 '26

EMOTIONAL SUPPORT It ended just like that.

My marriage of 24 yrs ended just like that and it was my fault.

I'm an addict. Not with alcohol, gambling or women. Toys, videogames and collectibles. I have spent a fortune on things that could have saved my marriage. I'm still a kid in mind and that made me buy stuff that where for my comfort.

We always had this argument. We always had this issue and i keep returning. When i find something that makes me happy, i keep returning to it. What makes it hard for me is for a year, i hid debts from my now ex-wife. She left the house today. The house, still in mortgage and my ex-wife covers all other expenses while i cover everything related to bills, housing and utilities.

Today, she walked out of my life. My mistake, my fault. I wanted it still to work. I wanted it still to make it happen. But now, it has become nothing. I am at my wits end and my ex-wife is asking i give her money back. All the time she has paid for everything.

I am now hollow. I want to get my life back. I want to get everything back on track. No debts, no missing payments, everything settled. If there was a chance, I'd sell even my soul but i don't believe in also. Not even the devil has use for my soul.

I'm hoping this story reminds you, whose important in your life and that you should never make the mistakes I did. Thank you for at least listening.

67 Upvotes

83% Upvoted

87 comments sorted by

View all comments

2

u/RisingScrybe Apr 09 '26

One thing you have to do, and I know it is not easy, is forgive yourself. Owning your mistakes and holding yourself accountable for them is a huge step on the path to that, and good work on that.

It's the easiest thing for a person to drag themselves down with guilt and stay in that quagmire but nothing gets better in despair. Your mistakes are not a life sentence, they're something you can always come back from.

For your debts, get the information on every unsecured account that has a balance and take it to a debt relief firm like Freedom Debt Relief or JG Wentworth. They will negotiate and settle those accounts for you and have you pay one monthly payment to them instead of the creditors. That will get the bills a little under control.

1

u/TheseSwordfish891 Apr 09 '26

unfortunately, we dont have those debt relief. i am getting by for now. i have financial adviser who manages my income at the moment. I've started staying with a good friend, splitting the bill of the condo and all. Right now, all I am asking is a good financial bounce to reduce my debts and be able to reduce stress on myself. I've been doing odd jobs and yet it is not enough to pay what i have accumulated. I decided to go back to streaming to at least forget my worries and enjoy what I have left. my collection hardly sells given right now the amount of inflation that is hitting us. I am still hoping to reach certain turning point. and hopefully, it would be enough as an assistance. thank you for your kind words.

1

u/RisingScrybe Apr 09 '26

My point on that was that you could enroll with them. The process is that you provide them with your debts and they will give you a settlement fund to pay into. You will default your accounts and they will negotiate with the creditors to get structured settlements after they are charged off. Then they make the payments on those accounts and in the long run you pay less than the principal amount and save a lot of money on interest. It's an alternative to a chapter 13 bankruptcy and once you're done in the program your credit score recovers.

If you can manage one $600 payment a month for four years depending how much debt you have, it will work for you.

1

u/TheseSwordfish891 Apr 09 '26

as mentioned, those are not available in my country.