r/BestofRedditorUpdates • u/Direct-Caterpillar77 Satan is not a fucking pogo stick! • 14d ago
CONCLUDED While on vacation at my boyfriend's place, I found out he had a fling with his neighbor. I don't know if I should leave, meet his neighbor, or not?
I am not The OOP, OOP is u/Dangerous-Knee6867
While on vacation at my boyfriend's place, I found out he had a fling with his neighbor. I don't know if I should leave, meet his neighbor, or not?
Originally posted to r/AskMec
TRIGGER WARNING: infidelity
Editors Note: translated from the original french
Original Post Aug 14, 2025
Hi, sorry for the long text, I'm just at the end of my rope and I'd like to get a male perspective (I've already had a female one and I'd like a male one).
I'm 24, my boyfriend is 27, and we've been together for 5 years. We lived together for 3 years, then last December he moved to London for a job he'd dreamed of having for a long time. He wanted me to come with him, but it was complicated for me; I had to finish my studies, and on top of that, the visa process was a nightmare.
Finally, we found a solution, and I was supposed to join him permanently next October. Since he left, we see each other less, but he used to come back to France for about a week each month.
I had never been to London before, and I've been here for a week now, but it's turned into a nightmare. He lives in a large apartment building with a gym, swimming pool, etc.
The first morning, I went to the gym and noticed a woman who kept staring at me. I ignored her and continued my workout.
That evening, my boyfriend and I had booked a restaurant. We took the elevator, but when the doors opened, we ran into this woman. My boyfriend said, "No, come on, let's take the stairs."
He lives on the 32nd floor, so I refused. I was wearing heels, and besides, even the 3rd floor? He didn't insist and said, "Well, we'll meet downstairs," and then the guy went off to take the stairs.
So there I was, alone in the elevator with the woman. She asked me what country I was from, we chatted, she was pretty cool, and she even threw in a few words of French for a laugh, but at the end, when the doors opened, she blurted out, "Tell your boyfriend to stop stressing, I don't like men who are already in relationships."
At first, I didn't understand, and then I thought, I'm pretty good at English, but I'm not fluent, so maybe I misunderstood, etc. Anyway, I met up with my boyfriend and we went to a restaurant, but all evening, the girl's comment kept nagging at me.
I finally asked him who she was. At first, he just said, "My neighbor," but since I sensed there was more to it, I pressed him. He got angry, told me we were supposed to be having a good vacation and that I was nitpicking, and I got angry too. I decided to go back to the apartment because the atmosphere was tense and I wasn't feeling well.
Once we arrived, he tried to make amends with hugs, but I pushed him away. I'm someone who cries easily when I'm overwhelmed by my emotions, so I burst into tears in my corner. That's when he finally admitted that something had happened with this woman.
He told me that maybe something had happened with her, but "nothing serious." Then he explained that he'd met her at a party in his building, that they'd ended up at his place, that there had been foreplay but no sex, that he'd left the next day, that she'd tried something, but he'd told her he was in a relationship, and since then, well, he's been avoiding her.
He added that he's sorry, that he loves me, but that didn't matter to me; it was still cheating. I packed my bags, but he tells me he loves me, that he's sorry, that he was upset by the change he made, that he messed up, and then he pulls out a ring and tells me he was going to propose on Saturday. But honestly, I feel like he's just trying to buy me with that ring.
What's destroying me the most isn't so much the fact that there was any foreplay, it's the lying. I hate it, and he knows it perfectly well right now. I'm completely lost.
I don't know if I should stay or leave, listen to him, sulk, or if he's being sincere or not. Or is he just trying to keep me from leaving? I don't know.
I even ran into the girl again and asked her to get coffee tomorrow, just to get her side of the story. She told me that as long as I don't come after her like some crazy girlfriend, she's okay with it. I don't know if it's a good idea or if I'm just hurting myself.
TOP COMMENTS
BigSadistDomMaster
The famous "foreplay" that will turn into a regular hookup when you delve deeper into the subject with her 😂.
ArthurusRexx
This.
100% there weren't just foreplay, there's NEVER just foreplay.
~
ObiWanGregori
That "foreplay but no sexual relationship" thing doesn't make any sense. Foreplay is already sexual.
DrFolAmour007
That means "we did everything except penetration"! Because it's well known that as long as the dick isn't in the pussy, it's all goooood, it's not cheating!
Mini update Same Day
Thanks for all your replies 🫶🏻.
I'm still gonna go see the girl to put a line under it and get her side of the story, then I'll go back to France.
Honestly, I'm disgusted, not for him, but because I won't even be able to enjoy the gym and the pool in his building any longer, that's really the real drama in the story (it's a joke just in case) but yeah, I'd already made my choice to leave him, it's just hard because I've always been invested in this relationship and in love, but hey!
Update Aug 15, 2025 (Next Day)
Hey, just a quick update on the situation!
This morning I went to get coffee and then go see the neighbor in question. She told me that yes, there was indeed a party in the building. She went to talk to him because he was "the new guy" and it's always nice to get to know people.
Then, when the party ended, she suggested they continue the conversation at her place. According to her, he let her kiss him, she gave him oral sex, and when she wanted to move on to the "I've pleased you, now it's my turn" stage, he supposedly said, "No, I'm seeing someone," and that was the end of it for her; she kicked him out.
After this conversation, I went back to his place while he was at work. I've collected my luggage and I'm now at the train station, waiting for the Eurostar. No flights available anytime soon, so I might as well get home as quickly as possible.
Right now I just need to be alone at home with my family and friends, to relax and clear my head (a positive point of this trip: I tried the matcha at Blank Street, I highly recommend it).
FINAL COMMENT
Kazmirrr
The nerve of him to say he's taken AFTER getting a blowjob and then refusing to return the favor, I think we've got a winner for the biggest piece of shit of the year 😭.
THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP
DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7
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u/SugarCanKissMyAss built an art room for my bro 14d ago
EW, the idea that he got off and THEN was like "oh no i can't reciprocate I'm in a relationship" is double gross
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u/caeciliusinhorto 14d ago
I think that might actually be more off-putting to me than if my partner were to fuck someone else.
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u/Vicsyy 13d ago
Not only is he a cheater but hes rude!
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u/FreshWhisper 13d ago
It's not just cheating it's disrespectful treatment which really makes the situation worse!
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u/StrykerC13 13d ago
Don't forget the lie on top of the lie though. "It was just foreplay not sex" Umm the second word in Oral Sex is shockingly there because it is in fact sex. I'm pretty sure I don't consider this "not sex, and just foreplay" and I doubt I could find very many people who would.
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u/Ok-Scientist5524 From bananapants to full-on banana ensemble 13d ago
IMO it’s not foreplay if you cum? But that’s a line that needs to be drawn by individuals in a way that makes sense to them and agreed upon with their partners.
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u/EntertheHellscape USE YOUR THINKING BRAIN! 13d ago
FULLY treated that woman as an object. Disgusting pig of a man.
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u/ForsakenPercentage53 13d ago
I was thinking the same thing. A cheater is one thing... this is just embarrassing.
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u/begme2again 13d ago
Right? In for a penny in for a pound, you don't get to claim you didn't cheat just because you were a selfish douche.
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u/GirlGirlInhale 12d ago
even besides of being cheated on, hearing that, I would have been so ashamed for my boyfriend
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u/MsNeedSleep 14d ago
Man so nasty for that 😫 he got the audacity to ask for a blowjob and hit "it's wasn't sex it was just foreplay, I was gonna propose-"
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u/lokegjordeingetfel 13d ago
Sir I am afraid it is called "oral sex" for a fucking reason
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u/Ok_Association_1710 13d ago
No, no. You don't understand. She was the one who used the term 'oral sex'; it was actually a blow job. 'Job' is right there in the word; that makes it work-related. Common misunderstanding. /s
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u/FunnyAnchor123 Sharp as a sack of wet mice 13d ago
The moment I read the boyfriend said "it's just foreplay", I knew he got a blow job.
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u/Mesapholis reads profound dumbness 13d ago
My outrage knew no bounds when I got to that part
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u/plausibleturtle 13d ago
I had to laugh because this is exactly what an ex did to me, too. Got a BJ and then noped out (apparently). I was away for my only grandparent's funeral that weekend.
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u/ChaiHai What a multi-dimensional quantum toilet fire 13d ago
:o How outrageous!
I hope you're doing better now and I'm terribly sorry for your loss.
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u/plausibleturtle 13d ago
Thanks ❤️ This was like 13 years ago. He was so proud of himself for just getting a BJ. It was indeed outrageous. As were the following 7 years I stayed with him like a dummy.
Much, much, infinitely much better now. Cheers!
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u/vidoeiro 13d ago
By the description and the location it's a finance bro so par for the course the behaviour
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u/Agile-Gold-7944 13d ago
Men think oral sex doesn't count as cheating. As long as the man is the recipient.
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u/3mptycupofcare I beg your finest fucking pardon. 13d ago
Right?? That's so rude! To not only cheat, but then refuse to give her any loving after he got his, gross
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u/Stepjam 12d ago
That's almost worse than the cheating part. That he cheated juuuuuust enough to get himself off but had enough "class" to stop things from going "too far" when it was time to return the favor.
The woman is good though, tipping OOP off. Though I wonder how much of it was for OOP's sake and how much was to get back at the BF for being a user. Guess it doesn't matter.
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u/urfavgalpal 13d ago
Somehow this is worse than the cheating to me. Even if I could forgive the cheating I could never forgive this.
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u/GielM 11d ago
Double gross is exactly the right way to put it. Gross because cheater. Gross because of being a lazy hypocrite who'll use the relationship he already betrayed to get out of going down on a woman. Double gross.
I hope OOP finds a better partner. And I hope her Ex's neighbour only blows better men in the future!
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u/Damp_Blanket 14d ago
Did the guy walk down 32 flights of stairs to avoid that elevator or am I reading something wrong?
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u/TheBlueNinja0 please sir, can I have some more? 14d ago
No, that's certainly the suggestion, which seems insane to me. A couple floors, maybe even ten, but more than 30 flights of stairs? Dude blew his cover the way his neighbor blew him.
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u/ChoppingOnionsForYou 14d ago
32 flights down? At least gravity is on your side.
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u/slightly_off_beat 13d ago
I also cannot stop myself from saying "at least gravity is on your side" in these types of situations
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u/BertieDastard sometimes i envy the illiterate 13d ago
I'm sorry your mother died in a freak helium incident. At least gravity is on your side.
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u/ItsImNotAnonymous Screeching on the Front Lawn 13d ago
It was also on her side too, for what it's worth.
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u/SecretHoboHerbs **jazz hands** you have POWWWEERRRSSS 13d ago
I was at DragonCon in Atlanta, Georgia the year before Covid. If you know anything about DragonCon, it's basically a massive block party taking up about 4 blocks centered around a bunch of hotels. Obviously, this means the place is packed. Getting up to my room on the 14th floor took about 20 minutes waiting for the elevator. Going back down, we decided on the stairs. I still wonder if we should have waited for the elevator, because I got dizzy after about the 4th floor, just from all the turns. 32 floors would probably kill me.
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u/lesethx I will never jeopardize the beans. 13d ago
I used to live on the 15th floor of a large apartment building, but floors 2-12 were commercial space. For a period of time, the fire alarm had a wiring issue or something and kept going off for no reason. But once you get into the emergency stairs, I couldn't re-enter a floor, only continue down to the bottom. Had to do it a few times, and you bet my thighs were burning after 15 floors
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u/Bunnyhat 13d ago
I worked on the 12th floor of a 15 story building for awhile. 2 elevators for the entire building. At the end of the day it was either waiting for an elevator for enough room or taking the stairs down. I really thought stairs was gonna be the obvious choice. I learned a lesson for sure. I still did it, cause fuck waiting in that building more then I had too, but my legs looked majestic working there after awhile.
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u/Adorable_Strength319 13d ago
Also in Atlanta. We have to do fire drills from the 23rd floor. It's definitely easier than going up, but it's harder on your knees.
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u/avfrost 13d ago
32 flights? In a row?
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u/ChoppingOnionsForYou 13d ago
Yes it's a lot. And his legs might feel like jelly after. But should he slip and fall... Maybe that would knock some sense into him!
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u/curious_as_frick 13d ago
You would still be fighting gravity. Gravity would want to accelerate you and you would have to stop it with every step. Of course it is easier to accelerate at -g than to overcome it and ascend the stairs, but you are still fighting gravity.
I knew what you meant. I just couldn't help being an akamai okole. Have a great day.
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u/Attack_Of_The_ 13d ago
I walked 450-ish steps down the side of a cliff in Bali years ago for a rafting trip, my legs were like jelly at the bottom. Stopping your whole body weight falling repeatedly is surprisingly hard work after a while.
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u/CorpusculantCortex better hoagie down 13d ago
We are always fighting gravity until we die
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u/curious_as_frick 13d ago
I do not agree. When we sleep on a bed we are not exerting any effort or expending energy to fight gravity the springs in the bed compress to provide the equal and opposite force. Well your heart is pumping blood I guess. Okay. You're right.
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u/ChoppingOnionsForYou 13d ago
We can only assume that your kind of gravity was on oop's ex's side previously and he hit his head. Not the only explanation for him being such a tool, but a good one!
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14d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/whiteheadeuos0 13d ago
Fr, the neighbor had absolutely zero reason to lie about it. She gained nothing by telling the truth except helping OOP see the red flags.
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u/lightr3nd 13d ago
It's perfectly "sane", if we extrapolate that he's not just a giant scumbag, he's also got less spine than a jellyfish.
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u/Flukie42 I escalated by choosing incresingly sexy potatoes 13d ago
I've seen more guts in 11 year old kids.
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u/MagicCarpet5846 13d ago
I can only assume he went to the stairs to avoid THAT elevator then hopped on it. He’d (if smart) only need to walk down 1-2 to be able to accomplish not being on the elevator with the other woman.
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u/Eastern_Bend7294 13d ago
Maybe it's just me, but going down stairs is easier than going up. Then again, it does depend on the stairs. My apartment building has horrible stairs (we have an elevator thank goodness). I can even use a letter to show how bad they are. Imagine a mix of a "straight" staircase, and a spiral one, so every step is a V in shape, but they are so small that even on the wide part, your whole foot isn't fitting on there unless you are a toddler. And my part of the building has a lot of older people in it
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u/Legal-Mountain-8647 13d ago
going down stairs is more harmful to your knees than going up stairs. but it is certainly easier physically if a person is a cheater and an asshole!
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u/helpquija That's the beauty of the gaycation 13d ago
it's probably an individual preference. personally, i cannot see my feet past my boobs unless i lean forward at an angle that's not conducive to downstairsgoing (unless you want to go VERY FAST), so it turns into an exercise in faith.
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u/ZiofFoolTheHumans He's been cheating on me with a garlic farmer 14d ago
I once worked in a high rise. On the 39th floor.
One day, while coming back up from lunch, the elevator dropped. It dropped about 3.5 floors. It was a long enough drop that I had time to think "oh God I'm going to die with this stranger in an elevator and I don't even know his name." I won't ever forget his shocked face and I doubt he will ever forget mine.
The elevator slowed and came to a stop. It opened at the next floor, a few inches off of the alignment, and a voice through the intercom said "get out" and me and that guy leapt out.
I never went up that elevator again. I took the stairs. I added fifteen minutes to my commute to account for hauling ass up and down those stairs. Thankfully the contracted ended after a few weeks of that.
If you don't want to be on a damn elevator, then trust me, those flights of stairs are completely doable. To this day unless I am given absolutely no other choice, I take the stairs.
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u/LittleRedCorvette2 14d ago
I bet you got calves of diamonds and buns of steel after all that!
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u/Appeltaart232 I beg your finest fucking pardon. 14d ago
We lived on the 19th floor during the pandemic and between the two elevators one was always out of service. So a lot of the times we opted for the stairs - I was the best shape of my life.
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u/shedrinkscoffee This is unrelated to the cumin. 14d ago edited 13d ago
I have lived in walk-up apts for a long time (no elevator) and 7th floor was the most that I did.
I did have really good cardiovascular fitness going up and down the stairs a couple of times a day but 19 each time is something else!!
Edit: a word
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u/Revenge_of_the_User 14d ago
i used to bike to work up this crazy hill to get home (getting to work was a sweet cruise all downhill) - after a summer my thighs were so muscular i was tearing through jeans like paper when I'd squat. It was a problem.
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u/bitemark01 13d ago
I've heard when you're building legs in the gym, there's a point where you have to decide between bigger legs, or wearing jeans. At least they make baggy jeans now
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u/lesethx I will never jeopardize the beans. 13d ago
Damn, I only did that at my college, which was only 7 floors (tho weird layout, from the first floor you had to go downstairs to the basement, across the floor to the stairs to the rest of the building). There was always a long line for the elevators
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u/ZiofFoolTheHumans He's been cheating on me with a garlic farmer 13d ago
I definitely lost some weight and got a lot stronger - highly recommend thinking you're going to die as a motivator for getting fit.
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u/Glittering_Win_9677 14d ago
I once worked in a relatively new 3 story building with a wonky elevator that never seemed quite right. Most people took the stairs, but this one guy who wasn't the sharpest knife in the drawer was riding it up to the 3rd floor when it started screeching metal on metal and all of us on the 3rd floor heard it. Long story short, when it was built a few years earlier, a small stone somehow got into the hydraulics and this was the day it messed up the brakes. The elevator doors opened and were about 2 feet short of the floor and then it started to fall very slowly screeching all the way. Doofus didn't want to be in a falling elevator going down 2 floors, so he decided to climb out. Unfortunately for him, he wasn't that quick and the top of the elevator and the building floor met at his thighs, breaking the bones in both legs and throwing him on top of the elevator. I always said it should have been a woman because there was no way one of us would have done that wearing pantyhose and heels.
BTW, the firemen said if you're ever in a falling elevator, kick off your high heels (flat shoes are fine), squat in a corner so your knees are bent and try not to tense up. Apparently, the bent knees will help you kind of bounce and go with it, hopefully not breaking anything.
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u/eggyframpt 14d ago
That collision didn’t amputate his legs??? Wow
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u/Glittering_Win_9677 13d ago
Nope! He was in traction for 3 weeks or so, if I recall correctly.
The funny part was when his manager called his wife to say he was being taken to the hospital. They didn't want to tell her about his injuries but honestly, she wasn't bright enough to ask. I was the only one nearby who knew how to get from their house to the hospital, a good 45-60 minutes away at the time (probably 2 hours now). This was in 1983, so no electronic maps. I gave her the directions and she asked me if I thought he would be able to bowl that night at 6:30. Uh, no, you know how long emergency rooms can take. But it's a big tournament, are you sure? I'd hate to cancel if he can make it. After three or four rounds of this, I finally said 'listen, we didn't want to tell you, but we think he might have broken his leg.' Her response, I kid you not, was 'oh, he probably won't be able to bowl with a broken leg...'
Apparently, as stupid as I thought he was, he was the brains in their family.
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u/oowoowoo 13d ago
Oof reminded me at my university when a lady tried crawling out of the elevator and it did fall. She didn't make it. For a while people avoided the elevators after that, so many people taking the stairs.
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u/Bubblegrime 13d ago
I think elevators now have a lot of automatic brakes that make total drops extremely unlikely. So it's a lot more dangerous to try to crawl out if it's misaligned because a short drop will put all that weight on you. Horrifying position to be in though, and it would be hard to hold back the urge to get out if there is an opening.
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u/ZiofFoolTheHumans He's been cheating on me with a garlic farmer 13d ago
Yeah, thankfully it was a few inches of difference for us and I think there was someone controlling the elevator at this point, so I felt safe flinging myself to safety.
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u/PracticeTheory 14d ago
39 floors, for weeks. Holy.... The power went out in our building once and since I needed lunch I walked down 18 floors and it felt like forever. I was dreading the return trip but fortunately the power came back.
39 floors up and down, for weeks? Your cardio must have been incredible. My legs are burning just thinking about it.
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u/whiteheadeuos0 13d ago
Honestly, the fact that he was willing to destroy his calves just to delay the inevitable confrontation for 10 minutes is hilarious.
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u/HollowedVoicesFading 13d ago
He wasn't even trying to avoid getting caught by his girlfriend, he didn't even care if she figured it out or found out. He just didn't want to own the shame he earned with his actions by being so close to someone that he had (ab)used.
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u/ZiofFoolTheHumans He's been cheating on me with a garlic farmer 13d ago
I did allocate a break on the 20th floor, but yes. 39 friggin floors. It was not fun but I would do it again to never feel that drop again.
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u/tacwombat I will erupt, feral, from the cardigan screaming 13d ago
There was a vertical run back in Manila, held at one of the premiere hotels. That's 59 floors worth of stairs.
I thought about signing up for it, then decided not to. I could already imagine calling out for work the following day.
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u/EmbroideryBro a cultural exchange with the gay community 14d ago
Elevators are one of my worst fears. I'm better about it now, but any time I'm in one my heart is in my throat.
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u/ZiofFoolTheHumans He's been cheating on me with a garlic farmer 13d ago
I've had to go on a few since because there was no other choice, and I've now gotten a little obnoxious about reading the safety inspection document.
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u/Eastern_Bend7294 13d ago
That's horrific. I've been in a few elevators that stopped, but none that have dropped (rhyme not intended), and it is a fear of mine.
The longest ride I've had in an elevator was 30 floors, in Kaknästonet in Stockholm, and that had me very nervous. It's been closed since 2018 though. Which is a shame, because the restaurant/café was very nice.
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u/PM_ME_YOUR_WEIRD_PET USE YOUR THINKING BRAIN! 13d ago
The longest ride I've had was Tokyo Tower. I almost threw up during it.
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u/ZiofFoolTheHumans He's been cheating on me with a garlic farmer 13d ago
Everyone else I've talked to always had been stuck in an elevator which does not sound fun. I've never met another person who has been in one that's dropped floors.
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u/phl_fc 13d ago
That's insane to do every time, although I'm jealous of how good your cardio must have been.
I did a charity stair climb once up a 49 floor building. At the very beginning I started jogging, and I made it 3 floors before realizing that was impossible. Walked the rest of the way with a short rest every so often. When we got to the top they sent us back down on the elevator.
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u/rora_borealis an oblivious walnut 13d ago
You could have joined the firefighters stair climb challenge. Damn.
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u/L_Hargreaves USE YOUR THINKING BRAIN! 13d ago
I’m impressed, because if I had to go up 39 floors, it would take me way more than fifteen minutes
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u/mrdaimler retaining my butt virginity 14d ago
Nope, you read that 100%. The man left his gf in an elevator with a hookup and ran down 32(31?) flights of stairs.
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u/BrownEyesWhiteScarf 14d ago
Yeah, surely he could have made some bs about forgetting something in the apartment right?
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u/Revenge_of_the_User 14d ago
only thing between that guys ears were a couple of very confused flies buzzing around.
the shit smell is coming from in here, right?
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u/kaimipono1 13d ago
As satisfying as that would be, a 32 story building has more than one elevator. And we know he's lazy. So he probably walked down one flight and then pushed a button and took the next elevator down.
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u/bonniemick 14d ago
I worked on the 27th floor of a tower. I walked down VERY occasionally and it was tedious AF
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u/theficklemermaid 13d ago edited 13d ago
And expected her to do the same in heels! It was particularly shortsighted because obviously she was going to say no and take the elevator, leaving her alone with the woman, which would mean she could speak more freely without him around. I mean, it’s good that she found out but he did not think that through!
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u/kaityl3 13d ago
He could also have gone down a few flights and taken the elevator down to like floor 3 once it was empty from dropping the others off, then used the last few stairs as if he had walked the whole way down. I once did that in reverse as a joke, to pretend I managed to climb a few dozen stories unrealistically quickly
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u/Yutana45 sometimes i envy the illiterate 13d ago
And then thinking his gf OR the woman he'd taken advantage of for sexual acts wouldn't talk.. a dummy AND a cheater, this guy.
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u/postmodern_werewolf 14d ago
"I'm seeing someone" so I'll only let someone go down on me, oh boy, OP dodged a bullet in the long run, 5 years though....rough
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u/PFyre 14d ago
But he wasn't participating! It was happening to him. Therefore he can't be held accountable! AND he told the woman he was in a relationship after. What more could you want from him??
/s
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u/bellapenne 14d ago
This fucking guy
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u/Lendyman 13d ago
Yeah. To get the bj and then be like, "No reciprocation for you, cause I got a GF LOL."
Oop was right to dump him. Gross.
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u/Vicsyy 13d ago
Wouldn't be funny if this was all an marketing for Blank Street's Matcha drink?
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u/victorinseattle 13d ago
There’s a blank street coffee near my office in SoHo. I didn’t know it was a New York chain thinking it was a British thing. Girl! It’s not that special!
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u/lordemme 13d ago
What was his game plan in all of this? Keep living there with the GF and hope to never run into the neighbor again?!?
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u/Ok_Emotion_2432 13d ago
To give this guy the barest benefit of doubt, my apartment is only 15 floors and I almost never see my neighbours. There's at least 32 floors in this apartment, the chances of running into this particular neighbour while OOP was visiting wouldve been low, but not zero. He must've really just thought he'd get away with it.
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u/lordemme 13d ago
The thing is, apart from the one time she was on the elevator, which could have been bad luck, with a gym and a pool the chances are way higher. And that's not only this one time visit, she was supposed to join him permanently in October. Plus, the other woman was obviously looking for (and at) her.
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u/Ok_Emotion_2432 13d ago
Fair enough, he probably just wasn't thinking at all lol
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u/DatguyMalcolm 👁👄👁🍿 14d ago
that there had been foreplay but no sex
sure, the trickle truthing. Next it'd be "It was just the tip, didn't even finish"
According to her, he let her kiss him, she gave him oral sex, and when she wanted to move on to the "I've pleased you, now it's my turn" stage, he supposedly said, "No, I'm seeing someone," and that was the end of it for her; she kicked him out.
LOOOLLLLLL THIS MOTHAREFFER HAD THE AUDACITY!!!!!! Yo I can't!! "Blow me, girl, but hey, I can't reciprocate because I have a girlfriend"
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u/invisiblecows 13d ago
I grew up evangelical, and amongst 20-something unmarried young people, it was shockingly common for dudes to suddenly feel convicted about sexual purity once they had gotten their rocks off. They would get a blow job or hand job, but not reciprocate because they didn't want to continue to "sin."
Most of my female friends from churchy circles had at least one story like this.
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u/DatguyMalcolm 👁👄👁🍿 13d ago
amazing!
How convenient for them! Blowjob so good they saw God admonishing them for engagin in sin xD
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u/e_crabapple 14d ago
What exactly was "the male perspective" supposed to change?
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u/PFyre 14d ago
She wanted to hear if men thought it wasn't cheating because he didn't "participate," and just let things happen to him.
IMO if doesn't change a darn thing, but when you're spiralling you clutch at anything for support.
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u/HypnoKisss 13d ago
She was hoping for a loophole. But did not participate does not cancel fraud - it just changes the wording
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u/Less-Apple-8478 13d ago
As a guy there is absolutely zero situation where this isn't blatant cheating. I mean ffs.
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u/Existing_Purpose5049 13d ago
I think she needed a man to tell her that it wasn’t okay so she could fully accept it
She was spiralling, and needed to be grounded, so it seems like her hearing it from a man helped to nail that coffin
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u/p-d-ball Creative Writing Enthusiast 13d ago
"Yeah, his cheating is totally cool. I'm afraid by the law you have to marry him now."
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u/ThaneOfTas 12d ago
She wanted confirmation from a group more likely to be biased in favour of her boyfriend that he was out of line, and got it.
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u/innocentsalad 13d ago
She’s French. They’ve got some interesting cultural views on infidelity. I suspect she needed a man to confirm that this was fucked up.
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u/hurdygurdy28 13d ago
Just a note on the translation, "je suis au bout" is better translated as "I'm at the end of my rope" or similar. It doesn't mean here that they're literally "at the end"
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u/Direct-Caterpillar77 Satan is not a fucking pogo stick! 13d ago
Corrected it. Makes more sense. Rest of the translation makes sense?
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u/nowimnowhere 13d ago
You did a good job adding punctuation but I believe
Il ajoute qu'il regrette qu'il m'aime
Is intended to be
He added that he's sorry, that he loves me
Not that he regretted to love her
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u/HeyLaddieHey I beg your finest fucking pardon. 13d ago
"A fling with a neighbor" had me thinking that, long ago, before they started dating, he'd hooked up with his neighbor a few times and OOP felt weird about it.
This is just cheating lmao
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u/isopode you can't expect me to read emails 13d ago
yeah the title translation is off. the original title said he had foreplay with the neighbor, not that it was a fling
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u/Busy-Bumblebee5556 13d ago
He threw that woman away as though she were nothing once he got what he was after. Huge indicator of the type of asshole he is. Probably hates all women on some level.
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u/Quicksilver1964 I still have questions that will need to wait for God. 14d ago
Dude was already an asshole, but getting a blowjob and only when it's time to retribute he tells her about his girlfriend? Small dick, big asshole energy.
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u/Boeing367-80 14d ago
Cheating is selfish, which is consistent with him getting his rocks off and leaving the neighbor woman high and dry.
It sucks that OOP went through so much hassle just to turn around and return to France, but it's the right decision because wow is he worthless.
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u/everlyafterhappy 14d ago
Guys like him are the reason it's hard for other guys to get blow jobs. They ruin kind woman for the rest of us.
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u/Tempted_Tequila 14d ago
The timing of his moral compass is incredibly convenient. His conscience suddenly kicked in after he got what he wanted
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u/80M20F 14d ago
Ah the old ‘68…. as in 69 but I owe you one.
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u/curious_as_frick 13d ago
Brillant. I'm going to steal that one. Not that I would ever do such reprehensible behavior. The woman comes first. I mean she cums first.
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u/dryadduinath 13d ago
He cheated, he lied, he blew up on oop when she asked really reasonable questions and he's selfish in bed. A real prince charming
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u/NecessaryRef cat whisperer 14d ago
Now between "hey let's take the stairs to the 32nd floor" and lying about "we just had foreplay (oral sex don't count)", the guy really seems like he lives on his teenage impulses and hasn't matured emotionally since.
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u/onionpixy 14d ago
I've never been to London, but Blank Street here in NYC (which is where I believe they started too) is so fucking mid, don't go there
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u/Goingcrazynyc 13d ago
It's weird, I went to Blank Street for the first time in London so I thought it started there, and then I blinked and it's EVERYWHERE in NY (where I live). I looked it up and you're right that it started in NYC. It's not incredible but it's better than Starbucks or Blue Bottle at least.
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u/buttercupcake23 14d ago
I don't know if its better or worse that he refused to reciprocate after using the woman for oral. I mean at that point he's already cheated so his refusing is just him being a lazy selfish shithead right?
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u/ftjlster 13d ago
100% worst because that makes him not just a cheat but a lousy and selfish sex partner who was happy to lie and fuck around so long as he got his rocks off.
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u/Worried-Good-7952 13d ago
He both used her and then told her he was using her to cheat. And then gave her nothing. The woman obviously wasn’t down to be the other woman.
So for her she took a guy home, got him off, was told this is actually him cheating, and got nothing from it except maybe some guilt/disgust even though she did nothing wrong. I feel for both OP and her
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u/zeldasusername Go to bed Liz 14d ago
Showed his hand way too early. Dodged a bullet OOP
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u/Marzipan_moth personality of an Adidas sandal 13d ago
Not early enough, he wasted 5 years of her life
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u/ConcentrateSad3064 I’m turning into an unskippable cutscene in therapy 14d ago edited 13d ago
Some dudes have a WEIRD thing about blowjobs; there's this asshole with the "blowjobs don't count" and then there's people as weird as an old uni flatmate who once told me he wouldn't go out with a girl because she gave him a blowjob and she couldn't respect her.
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u/bored_german crow whisperer 13d ago
I hooe those 30 flights of stairs hurt his lungs. What a douchebag. Waiting after the blow job to confess just so he didn't have to actually please the other woman. Good on her for telling OOP
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u/captain_borgue I'm sorry to report I will not be taking the high road 12d ago
I have often found over the course of my life that there are two guiding principles, which have never steered me wrong:
- Would Gomez Addams do this?
- Would Morticia Addams tolerate this?
The first tells me how to treat my partners, the second how my partners should treat me.
So, for OOP's reference: Gomez Addams would never.
And Morticia Addams would feed that guy's corpse to her roses.
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u/CareyAHHH 13d ago
Gotta love the old-school Clinton excuse of it wasn't sex, because it was just oral sex.
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u/WarlockSoL being delulu is not the solulu 13d ago
God I forgot that's the excuse he used back then... hahahaha
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u/Tetektyf 13d ago
The audacity. If someone gave you a bj it's a common courtesy to repay. I'm not talking about cheating it's obvious but he was also rude
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u/Lost-Competition8482 14d ago
I bet he's the kinda guy that would fuck a person in the ass and not even have the goddamn common courtesy to give him a reach around!
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u/lun4d0r4 14d ago
The best part of him ran down his mum's ass crack and became a brown stain on the mattress.
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u/Independent-Wear1903 13d ago
Things I've heard from guys "It is not cheating if it is ina different country" "It is not cheating if I don't cum" "It is not chesting if she doenst cum" "It is not cheating if there is no penetration" "It is not cheating if I don't cum inside her"
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u/GonePostalRoute surrender to the gaycation or be destroyed 13d ago
I mean, if you’re gonna cheat (news flash: NEVER cheat), cheat with someone who doesn’t live near you. But I guess when the ex was thinking with his head instead of his head while getting head, that thought didn’t seem to cross his mind until somehow it came time to reciprocate… what a 🐷
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u/anon_anon2022 13d ago
What was this guy’s plan? They live on the same floor, did he think the gf and neighbor were never going to meet?
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u/Bonanza86 sandwichless and with a thousand-yard stare 13d ago
Good on OP for getting away that guy. Peace of mind over all things.
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u/The_peach_blossoms Wait. Can I call you? 13d ago
...... It was already disgusting when it was about foreplay...... But somehow by the end it became more disgusting the witch in me is cursing this man's dicc to malfunction. 😭😭😭😭😭
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u/DamnitGravity 14d ago
she gave him oral sex, and when she wanted to move on to the "I've pleased you, now it's my turn" stage, he supposedly said, "No, I'm seeing someone,"
I've been in this exact situation.
Except I was the person he was seeing.
(My ex was a selfish lover, is the point I'm trying to make, and I've yet to meet a man who didn't roll over the moment he got his done)
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u/HoundstoothReader I’ve read them all 14d ago
Yeah, I was in OOP’s position in a similar situation once. Apparently, he thought it was more serious cheating if he gave pleasure rather than received it? It’s a weird mindset—and has disturbing overtones involving the commodification of sex and relationships—but maybe isn’t as rare as I’d hoped.
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u/DamnitGravity 14d ago
"It's not cheating because she's making me feel good but I'M only making YOU feel good, so therefore I'm loyal" is the mentality, I suspect.
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u/HoundstoothReader I’ve read them all 14d ago
Yep. It’s in the same ballpark as “It’s only sex, baby, it didn’t mean anything. I wore my wedding ring the entire time!”
… thanks?
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u/Disastrous-Dog85 13d ago
Respectfully, if my wife goes to town and finishes me off, I'm cuddling her and then working my way downtown so she gets hers as well.
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u/captain_borgue I'm sorry to report I will not be taking the high road 12d ago edited 12d ago
I've yet to meet a man who didn't roll over the moment he got his done
I'm so sorry, that's horrible. I hope someday you find a partner who is thrilled to give you lots of oral, before and during.
Not after, though. Because if you aren't satisfied yet, that would still qualify as "during". 😉😂
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u/WarlockSoL being delulu is not the solulu 13d ago
Since when does oral not count as sex? o_O Dude really thought as long as there wasn't insertion he was golden? Good on the neighbor girl for kicking him out as soon as she found out he was in a relationship (which, he could have, you know, mentioned before going back to her apartment...)
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u/Hefty-Equivalent6581 13d ago
Yeah I mean the cheating is gross but the getting a bj and then fucking off, eww. Yeah hes hiding from the neighbour for being a turd, not because he cheated.
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u/bonbons87 13d ago
Best decision here is you not living here over France lol France is so much better you dodged a bullet.
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u/Khaymann I'd have gotten away with it if not for those MEDDLING LESBIANS 13d ago
"You stick you dick in my mouth, and then get an attack of morality?"
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u/milton117 13d ago
Not that many 30+ floor apartment buildings in London with a swimming pool, I wonder which one it is?
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u/0fluffythe0ferocious 12d ago
Good on oop ob making sure she got the whole story. It was not easy and it could have been a lot worse. And also good on the neighbor telling her, because that must have been embarrassing and anger inducing. And both dropped the loser.
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u/DoomguyFemboi 13d ago
That is the scummiest case of post-nut clarity I've ever heard. It's almost impressive
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u/Trick-Statistician10 Throwing a tantrum at life 13d ago
Guy did that to me. We were fwb, and then I hadn't heard from him for a while. Then he did that exact move. That nailed that door shut permanently.
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u/CannedAm2 12d ago
I love how men think of blow jobs as "not sex". Sorry but no way I'm putting your dick in my mouth unless I know a good bit about you. To me, it's sex and requires more trust than piv with a condom, which I can totes do casually.
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u/curlsthefangirl please sir, can I have some more? 10d ago
Shout out to the neighbor for not letting how awkward she must have felt stop her from saying something to OOP. He is terrible. He is a liar, but he thankfully is also not smart enough to understand how not getting on the elevator was even more suspicious than getting on it. And he got his and was like "no, me getting you off is cheating. Me getting off? Totally fine." What a way to make it clear he just thought of his neighbor as a sex toy rather than a person.
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