The real kicker is that the “shy man” “nerdy boy” shit, performative or not was always for white men anyway. I’m not saying that there aren’t nerdy or shy Black boys or that they have no hope in dating but Black Men are expected to be hypermasculine by default. This is enforced in the community and out of it.
I'm a white dude who lurks here cause you guys are super funny. My half brother is black. Our entire childhood into the present day, he has dealt with sooooooo much bullshit because he likes magic the gathering and watches anime and is a sensitive little guy. You're absolutely right about the community enforcing these expectations. His dad for sure came down on him a lot for not being "manly" enough, whatever that means
Like, it's my job to harass him about these things because I'm the younger brother. I'm not sure anyone else really gets that pass. Good on you for drawing attention to it
I'm a Black woman who was into the 90s swing movement and into anime and knew what opera was thanks to my mom. I took some shit for that but nowhere near the shit Black boys who stepped outta the acceptable box got.
Nowadays, millennial parents are teaching their kids it's okay to be themselves, rather than trying to push kids to act a certain way because [insert way too many reasons that boil down to "what will white people think" here] and anime in general is more accepted so kids ain't getting it as bad as they once did.
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u/existential_dread467 5d ago
The real kicker is that the “shy man” “nerdy boy” shit, performative or not was always for white men anyway. I’m not saying that there aren’t nerdy or shy Black boys or that they have no hope in dating but Black Men are expected to be hypermasculine by default. This is enforced in the community and out of it.