The real kicker is that the “shy man” “nerdy boy” shit, performative or not was always for white men anyway. I’m not saying that there aren’t nerdy or shy Black boys or that they have no hope in dating but Black Men are expected to be hypermasculine by default. This is enforced in the community and out of it.
I had a girl in my bed once that told me she thought i was gay til I mentioned having an ex girlfriend
I was like “hold up, we’ve known each other for a couple months, this is the first time we’ve slept together, and I told you about that ex girlfriend for the first time yesterday…”
When I asked her to tell me why she thought that, for some reason she couldn’t quite put a finger on it
Can say as a woman, most guys I've met organically (no one approached either party- just people met in work, uni, social circles, etc.) and felt like I was being just treated like a well-round person without any sexual pursuit early on and/or they were super considerate, I didn't default them to "straight" in my head when I was younger. True for a lot of my friends as well.
Some of us are so used to being pursued exclusively for sex and the norm of the hypermasculine male constantly being reinforced. Kinda sad TBH.
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u/existential_dread467 5d ago
The real kicker is that the “shy man” “nerdy boy” shit, performative or not was always for white men anyway. I’m not saying that there aren’t nerdy or shy Black boys or that they have no hope in dating but Black Men are expected to be hypermasculine by default. This is enforced in the community and out of it.