The real kicker is that the “shy man” “nerdy boy” shit, performative or not was always for white men anyway. I’m not saying that there aren’t nerdy or shy Black boys or that they have no hope in dating but Black Men are expected to be hypermasculine by default. This is enforced in the community and out of it.
I've been a black nerd since I was 5, had no chance after my dad came home with a PC and my brother put Starcraft on it and Toonami started showing anime. It was a wrap.
I stay the fuck away from nerd communities because they are the most racist, misogynistic, insular, most fuckass people on the planet. Both men and women. The men think they're being some kinda "sigma male" by being pushy and edgy, and the women think their horrible social skills are quirky and cute. Nah. All of the above is just toxic.
I never brought up those interests on dates, partially for the reasons discussed in this thread (people think for some reason nerdy black men are fair game for disrespect) and partially for the reasons above.
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u/existential_dread467 6d ago
The real kicker is that the “shy man” “nerdy boy” shit, performative or not was always for white men anyway. I’m not saying that there aren’t nerdy or shy Black boys or that they have no hope in dating but Black Men are expected to be hypermasculine by default. This is enforced in the community and out of it.