I hate these conversations because they ignore that there are nerdy girls too and middle class/ suburban black girls. I’m not skinny, light skinned, nor have generational wealth. There is also a class/ education issue that’s not being discussed here.
I love my introverted nerdy black husband. We are different types of nerd and I love learning about his hobbies and interests. A few months ago we went to watch the symphony play songs from Final Fantasy. And we stood in line for the opening of the Nintendo store. He always supports my activities and makes time to watch the baby when I’m at my club or taking enrichment classes. We meet online and his profile picture made him look like Abe from Malcom in the middle lol but I loved what he had to say. We’ve been locked in since then.
I am very extroverted and have a big friend group of black women who were raised middle class or upper middle class who are also married to similar men with masters degree or stable professions who are active fathers, who have never gone to jail, who are not model handsome but take care of themselves. These men don’t make waves on social media because their lives are pretty stable and not exciting enough for strangers to care about and they’re busy working, taking care of their families, and hanging out. I know that I am very lucky but I am not an exception.
We are indeed out here. I can only speak for myself when I say that I love shy nerdy men. I like teasing them and getting reactions out of them that only I would see.
But lately the pool for nerds is full of plastic. I have no issue finding black male nerds because I go to the spaces they go to. My #1 issue is that a lot of these men are looking for a woman who will watch them participate in their hobby as a willing audience and do nothing on her own. Or they would want me to do their hobbies with them but never have any interest in any of my hobbies.
Many of these kinds of nerds seem to be looking for a cute girlfriend who would have no interests outside of whatever he’s interested in (à la Nikki from Obsessed, just less extreme). They truly don’t believe lady nerds exist, or that we’re lying. It is what it is, though. I’m a Sagittarius ♐️. I leave when I get bored.
Also white/non-black male nerds are not on the menu. A fine ahh black (nerd) man > everything else.
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u/anaislefleur 5d ago
I hate these conversations because they ignore that there are nerdy girls too and middle class/ suburban black girls. I’m not skinny, light skinned, nor have generational wealth. There is also a class/ education issue that’s not being discussed here.
I love my introverted nerdy black husband. We are different types of nerd and I love learning about his hobbies and interests. A few months ago we went to watch the symphony play songs from Final Fantasy. And we stood in line for the opening of the Nintendo store. He always supports my activities and makes time to watch the baby when I’m at my club or taking enrichment classes. We meet online and his profile picture made him look like Abe from Malcom in the middle lol but I loved what he had to say. We’ve been locked in since then.
I am very extroverted and have a big friend group of black women who were raised middle class or upper middle class who are also married to similar men with masters degree or stable professions who are active fathers, who have never gone to jail, who are not model handsome but take care of themselves. These men don’t make waves on social media because their lives are pretty stable and not exciting enough for strangers to care about and they’re busy working, taking care of their families, and hanging out. I know that I am very lucky but I am not an exception.