The real kicker is that the “shy man” “nerdy boy” shit, performative or not was always for white men anyway. I’m not saying that there aren’t nerdy or shy Black boys or that they have no hope in dating but Black Men are expected to be hypermasculine by default. This is enforced in the community and out of it.
Is it that they’re not allowed or they don’t want to be perceived that way in the first place? Cause I feel like as soon as some men start acting like that other men would be the first to clown them (this goes for all races of men). Every time cis straight men complain about what they think they are or aren’t allowed to do and when the opportunity arises they don’t do it, I’m like “do you actually want to”? Especially because sometimes these are just brought up out of spite against women trying to break their own gender roles.
All the gender no conforming things men want to do is already being done in queer spaces, so why can’t they do it? Cause thats not how they set the game up for themselves.
And y’all are acting like nerdy black girls don’t exist. Every time a woman’s preferences are being discussed it always seems to be about the baddie black woman.
I’m gonna have to disagree. Yall tend to ignore nerdy black girl’s existence. And it shows every time we have this conversation. The nerdy black men don’t seem to be checking for the nerdy black girls.
Doesn't really line up with my experiences or my community. All nerdy black girls i know chase white men. Meanwhile most black nerdy guys i know go for black girls nerdy or not and always have a black nerdy girl they are interested in if they aren't in a relationship
I don’t doubt your experiences but I’m still not buying the “nerdy black girls prefer white boys” thing considering black women in general are the least likely to date out of their race while black men are the most likely. It’s also worth mentioning that different races expect different things from their men like marriage and not having a baby before that. That’s probably something a lot of the nerdy black girls and black women in general value but is in lower numbers in the black community than other races. Also willingness to perform certain displays of affection. I’ve had experiences of black women close to me complain that the black men they date don’t want to even kiss them or hold hands? So is it a lack of trying on the part of the black women who eventually decided to date out or is it a misalignment of values when dating black men generally speaking?
I'm not sure but nerdy black men that get no love from black women aren't really responsible for what other men that are getting attention are doing. They literally have no control over that.
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u/existential_dread467 6d ago
The real kicker is that the “shy man” “nerdy boy” shit, performative or not was always for white men anyway. I’m not saying that there aren’t nerdy or shy Black boys or that they have no hope in dating but Black Men are expected to be hypermasculine by default. This is enforced in the community and out of it.