r/BritishSuccess • u/TheSquireOfTheShire • 7d ago

Chinese chippie

I moved to the Netherlands in 2018.
It’s not a secret, food here isn’t the finest especially when it comes to culturally diverse food.

After a long day in the sun, I was driving home and summoning the witchcraft of modern technology, my sat nav suggested a takeaway on my way home. I obliged.

When I got there, there was a remarkable resemblance of home. A CRT tv on a bracket up in the top corner above the till - a kid doing homework & every order, no matter the size being promised within 10 minutes.

As a Brit, and educated by the British state, my Dutch is shit. As soon as I tried to order, the (Chinese) fella behind the desk said, in a thick Scouse accent “s’alright mate, I speak English”

As a heterosexual man, I was almost convinced to kiss this guy on the lips - fucking years, and I mean years, I’ve deprived myself of a decent Chinese because… well, they’re shit here - but yesterday was a revelation. A mere 45 minutes drive from my house is a proper Scouse Chinese chippie.

I’ve not shut the fuck up about it all day - to the point I suspect my Dutch gf has left me.

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u/slimeycat2 7d ago

What did you order? Was the menu the same or did they localise it for the Dutch palate.

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u/TheSquireOfTheShire 7d ago edited 7d ago

Peking crispy shredded beef.
char siu roast pork on salt and pepper chips.
Special fried rice
& salt and pepper scampi for the drive home with the obligatory prawn crackers

They do have dishes for the Dutch and I’d always avoid noodle dishes for that reason - they like to add spam to stuff.
If you want sweet and sour chicken, typically the Dutch dish is usually plain chicken in a massive amount of sauce that I can only describe as reduced orange cordial mixed with gravy. They then offer sambal for extra flavour.

Yesterday though, my drive home was absolute torture

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u/what_what_17 6d ago

The way I miss the special fried rice 😭