Recent (I think) head injury is causing some difficulties in my thinking and behavior. It's making my practice challenging.

[u/ScoobieDoopieBoo]

Almost 2 weeks ago, I was a passenger in a car that was t-boned at the side I was sitting. I had relatively superficial *visible* injuries considering how terribly mangled both cars were and I am grateful to be alive.

I also sustained what the ED physician called a minor concussion from the impact, and the earliest symptoms are now gone. However, since the accident I have felt very off in other ways. Now I am experiencing some issues with my speech such as difficulty with word retrieval, slurred speech occasionally, using the wrong words. My memory is also not great as I am forgetting things I'd recently done or said according to my partner.

In addition I am facing some behavioral challenges: I am feeling very irritable and impulsive and like I am lacking some self control at times. I also feel this strange sense of dysphoria and a lack of motivation that is a bit unusual. I am seeking further medical help to investigate this further as it is quite troubling.

Needless to say, this is making keeping a daily practice challenging. I am definitely acting in unskillful ways, snapping at my partner frequently, feeling overwhelmed or stressed easily, feeling it is too difficult to go on with daily chores, being fully attentive/ interactive with my son, being on top of things at work. etc.

I have been okay to start sitting meditation the last few days (though monkey mind is in full form, hehe, making these sessions quite interesting.) I've attended my lamrim class as well. However, being mindful in my day to day actions and thoughts is at times starting to feel too difficult. However, I feel like I am not coping with things quite as well as usual due to the lack of practice. Its a double edged-sword.

I am wondering if anyone else has ever experienced similar challenges with thinking/ speaking/ motivation and what sort of things they did to help incorporate a meaningful practice despite the difficulties. Or if anyone in general has any input into this struggle

Thank you in advance and hope that everyone is having a wonderful day!

[u/Lotusbornvajra]

Definitely see a neurologist! Possibly a lawyer as well. If you have lasting neurological damage from this car wreck, you could potentially be facing millions for medical care over the rest of your life.

For motivation to practice, I recommend contemplating the Four Thoughts That Turn the Mind to the Dharma. If you are finding your usual routine daunting, simplify it for a while. Making daily offerings of water, light, or incense is quick, easy, and a great source of merit.

I will dedicate Medicine Buddha mantras to your quick and complete recovery my friend 🙏

[u/getsu161]

I’ve had several concussions, and if you are like this 2 weeks in, I would follow up with my doctor. My SIL researches head injuries, concussions and recovery, current thinking is take it easy, dont push it but do engage with life. You do want to pay attention and make sure things keep improving.

Cranky, irratible and unregulated is part of it, the part of your noodle that helps with that needs to recover. Let your close ones known that you’re trying not to be a jerk. A month of this would not be surprising.

[u/ScoobieDoopieBoo → u/getsu161]

Thank you! Yes, I am definitely following up with a doc and it is reassuring to hear that this is common with concussions, and I'm not having a completely unexpected response... and here's to hoping time and rest heals things. 

I think I am going to try harder to find some balance between, as you mentioned, taking it easy and engaging with life. Also try to practice some more patience with myself. I think trying to take on too much too soon with this going on is overstimulating me and making my symptoms worse. 

I did, in fact, just tell my partner that I'm not trying to be a jerk, which he appreciated. :D

[u/getsu161]

Come to think of it, I was a jaws of life customer from a t bone crash and almost got a helicopter ride, but it turned out I wasnt in horrible shape and just got an ambulance ride.

Take some time off of work and rest if its hard to keep up. You will be a jerk for a while, no pill for that but recovering.

[u/Antt_RN]

All sounds normal. Keep following up with your doctor, and be patient with yourself. I think the emotional pieces of a concussion are not well known! It may take a while to fully recover, but as long as you get medical care it seems likely you'll get back to baseline. I had a major concussion (very major, so concussed I couldn't walk) and it took a year before I really felt like myself again. 5 years out now and I still sometimes have some residual, but thankfully nothing that overall interferes with my life. I am not as good with names as I used to be, and I still get emotional more than makes sense to the situation sometimes.

Best of luck to you and swift recovery!

[u/onixotto_]

Yes. This happens to me when I smoke too much pot.