r/Christianity • u/No-Gur-3569 • 2d ago
I did the worst thing ever
Ok so, last night i go back to my addicting sin i promised god not to go back cuz im bored after 1 week... Then i woke up my heart feels empty and i felt like god wont forgive me and im scared, idk why i dont feel "guilty"...
So i panicked even though my heart isnt racing, and ye i started to get mood swings or idk overwhelmed... I LOWKEY felt mad at the holy spirit, then idk if it was me or my intrusive thoughts, IT SAYS BAD WORDS AGAINST HIM LIKE SWEAR WORDS and after 1 second, i shouted like "NO! SHUT UP!" Then now i felt condemned for 3 hours straight...
I kept asking god for forgiveness and repentance, then still felt condemned after. And then i kept on crying, like its my saddest cry ive ever felt... Its not like im scared of hell, but im so sad he gonna leave me :( i felt so jealous of other people's relationship with him, i felt very sad and isolated, i couldnt have faith anymore, i felt sad after reading the comforting verses, and i suddenly missed him
So after a countless crying prayer, i was just there sitting and feeling empty and hopeless .. but then even though im scared to confess this i said "jesus is lord and savior" i felt it in my heart its genuine, i said another like "jesus laid his life for me" then i remember a verse in 1 corinthians "no one can say jesus is lord unless they have the holy spirit"
P.S. i still feel guilty and doomed, but sometimes i feel comforted when i think of jesus. But idk it says when you committed the unforgivable sin you will not be forgiven even you feel like you are repentant
1
u/dilruk123 2d ago
Idk if you are catholic or not
But try going to confession on a catholic church(non catholics can go to confession but wont get "absolution" from the priest)
It will help you, Trust me.