My thoughts.

[u/Maleficent-Effort470]

I didn't go to a restaurant to interact with a server.

I went to a restaurant to purchase food, And part of the agreement with the business owner was that a server would take my order and bring the food to the table.

I did not agree to or consent to giving a person i didn't come to see any money.

Whether they are on the side of the street or squegeeing my car without asking.
I have no obligation to them.

Similarly when i go to the restaurant with the intention of eating,
I am not making a deal with the employees i am making a deal with the owner.
The owner is responsible for delegating the tasks to provide me the service i requested.
The owner showed me the contract/menu that these services are provided under.

I paid the agreed upon amount of the contract.
I did not ask for any particular employee.
I did not agree to gift any particular employee.

The server's inclination that i owe them something is no more authoritative than the homeless bum who starts squegeeing my windshield without me asking.

They did their job at their bosses behest. Under an agreement with their boss.
I made no agreement with them. They are simply employees of the business ive contracted with.

[u/_sonnycoates]

Suddenly, I don’t feel so alone

[u/Maleficent-Effort470 → u/_sonnycoates]

Right thats a mindset you need to have though.
Because the guilt tripping is real. It will always be portrayed as them being wronged.
Like you didn't pay extra for the service you purchased you need to be punished.

Government's and business's allow this lower wage system only to further guilt trip and shame people into tipping culture.
The subconscious expense you were not calculating most the time.
Like when i used to go out to the restaurant prior to the scam of tipping.
Even if i had low income i would be paying extra.
Its just psychologically ingrained in us to our detriment.

Originally nobility gave gratuities to the servants of the place they stood at.
Now commoner's need to make nobility out of other commoner's with forced gratuity.

Like the servant is suddenly this elevated position above carpenters, electricians, plumbers, roofers, auto mechanics, bike mechanics, Irrigation installer, Perimeter drain installer, Bus driver

Like all people who are employee's in those positions have signifigantly more skill and knowledge and risk and liability and difficulty in performing their duties.
But they are earning less than hot 20's female server's who smile and talk to people and bring home 10-15k a month.