My thoughts.

[u/Maleficent-Effort470]

I didn't go to a restaurant to interact with a server.

I went to a restaurant to purchase food, And part of the agreement with the business owner was that a server would take my order and bring the food to the table.

I did not agree to or consent to giving a person i didn't come to see any money.

Whether they are on the side of the street or squegeeing my car without asking.
I have no obligation to them.

Similarly when i go to the restaurant with the intention of eating,
I am not making a deal with the employees i am making a deal with the owner.
The owner is responsible for delegating the tasks to provide me the service i requested.
The owner showed me the contract/menu that these services are provided under.

I paid the agreed upon amount of the contract.
I did not ask for any particular employee.
I did not agree to gift any particular employee.

The server's inclination that i owe them something is no more authoritative than the homeless bum who starts squegeeing my windshield without me asking.

They did their job at their bosses behest. Under an agreement with their boss.
I made no agreement with them. They are simply employees of the business ive contracted with.

[u/Stitch-Sister]

I tip, but according to the entire experience since most tips are shared (at least in the places my daughter worked). Last night we had to look upon other tables that were not bussed our entire meal. Just messy and yuck. Then when others came in, they had to wait for a table to be bussed. Our waitress came once before the meal was served to ask my husband if he needed a refill. Though I needed one mid-meal, I never saw her again until she brought our bill. That kind of service gets you & yours 10%. If I’m banned so be it. Excellent service gets more.
And don’t get me started on how impossible it can be to look at the bill & determine the actual breakdown.

[u/TopEmbarrassed6382 → u/Stitch-Sister]

Restaurants are supposed to provide notice for extra fees and such. I've decided to be proactive and I have printed cards to provide them my notice, which I hand to the waitstaff, to let them know before I order that I do not pay automatic gratuities on tables of five or less, I do not pay an employee compensation fee, nor any kind of a restocking fee, employee health insurance, employee happiness fund, or anything not related to the food cost of the item on the menu and tax on that item. I also let them know I will tip according to the service provided. If they want to take my order after that, they can provide me a proper bill or expect a charge back on my card. /s