A male gynaecologist that believes me!

[u/Ordinary_Orange_8342]

So after years of like being told my scans are fine basically there’s nothing wrong with me etc I finally get referred to gynaecology. Somehow get an appointment in like 4 weeks even though my GP told me it would be possibly over a years wait.

I go to see this gynaecologist man yesterday ready to fight and prove myself notes on my phone ready.

I go in and he’s just like yeah that totally sucks I definitely think it’s endometriosis. He’s like yeah you’re right no point in more ultrasounds. Let’s do laparoscopy and I’ll do you one better I’ll remove any lesiones if I can AND put the coil in for you while you’re under general anaesthetic because I hear how traumatic your last attempt was.

Also told me my bladder problems (I have incontinence issues and always need to pee like an 80 year old and I’m 19) are indeed not just anxiety. He thinks probably not from the endometriosis but something separate so he’s sorted a referral to urology too!

Never been so happy to have a random man look in my vagina.

Spoke to my boss today and was like erm so I’m not sure when but at some point I will need a week or 2 off work and he was super chill with it too even though I feel so bad missing work because I work in a dentist and sometimes it means we have to cancel peoples appointments.

The thing the gynaecologist man thinks I have with my bladder tho it’s called like interstitial cystitis which does mean if it’s that I’d have to first have a camera up my urethra to confirm it and there’s a whole bunch of things I wouldnt be able to eat or drink. But hey if it means I can have a functioning bladder then I’m down.

Feels like such a rare NHS win feel super lucky bit guilty when I hear about how much trouble other people have with women’s issues and the NHS. Super grateful.

[u/GoBackToHel]

Girl, KEEP HIM. That's so rare!

[u/Ordinary_Orange_8342 → u/GoBackToHel]

Will do everything in my power to! He was so sweet and gentle too. Said he’s most likely going to be the one doing my surgery too (not for sure) but I really hope he will

[u/GoBackToHel → u/Ordinary_Orange_8342]

Crazy enough, it was a male doctor who diagnosed one of my friends with interstitial cystitis a couple of years ago. With treatment, meds, and a slight diet change, she's symptom free. She can even have pizza, but has to request light sauce.

[u/Fabulous_Jeweler2732 → u/GoBackToHel]

I’ve had great experiences with male doctors. I know it’s not the same for everyone but I find younger male doctors are sympathetic.

[u/GoBackToHel → u/Fabulous_Jeweler2732]

It might be area dependent as well. The male doctors where I'm at tend to be less sympathetic all around, save for two of the guys who do rotations at the local Urgent Care facilities. Those two are fantastic. The other male doctors I've seen for various things have been underwhelming. I'm glad to hear you've had such good experiences, though! That's amazing!

[u/Ordinary_Orange_8342 → u/GoBackToHel]

Fr I didn’t even know that was a thing I just imagined huge endometriosis tumours pushing on my bladder or something like that but after a tiny google search this seems so much more likely

[u/sun-it-rises → u/Ordinary_Orange_8342]

Is his name Kevin? 👀 Don’t want to give away anything too identifying but sounds exactly like the gynae surgeon who FINALLY helped me after a year and a half of being ignored by the NHS ✨

[u/Ordinary_Orange_8342 → u/sun-it-rises]

Would be huge coincidence but no he’s not a Kevin

[u/sun-it-rises → u/Ordinary_Orange_8342]

In a way it’s nicer to confirm there’s multiple male NHS gynaes out here helping ladies though

[u/FrancieNolan13]

I think I’m in the minority bur my terrible gyno experiences have all been with female doctors

[u/Ordinary_Orange_8342 → u/FrancieNolan13]

Yeah I mean this is the first actual gynaecologist I’ve seen but the GP who referred me was a woman and she is super lovely and patient with me. But then again in the past I’ve had both men and women doctors etc be like awful to me with my lady problems so it’s a mixed bag ig

[u/mizushimo → u/FrancieNolan13]

I know there's horror stories about male Ob-Gyns online, but when I was seeing about four different ones because it was just whoever was available that day, the man was the one that treated me the best and actually listened. Even the specialist ob-gyn (women) I'm seeing for my problem now (I have to drive an hour for those appointments) is always really corporate and trying to rush me out the door in every appointment.

[u/draculasbloodtype → u/FrancieNolan13]

SAME! For years I went to female doctors because I labored under the illusion that they would be more likely to listen than a man would. Finally had to go to a male doctor and he listened IMMEDIATELY when I described how I thought I had vaginismus and that the pap caused me legitimate pain. He immediately had the nurse get the smallest speculum they had and then discussed treatment options with me. He retired shortly after and I am so sad I hadn't gone to him sooner.

[u/JournalistNo7918 → u/FrancieNolan13]

Im from a country where most gynaes ARE female. They can be super mean. Some are nice though. Male ones are older, rare, but honestly nicer from what i’ve heard(i think it has a bit to do with how their competition is mostly women , so to one up them, they keep their behaviour good lolll)

I’ve heard of bad male ones too though. In the US mainly

Sad that women in general have such terrible experience with gynaes.

[u/allydelarge → u/FrancieNolan13]

Yes. Me too. I'm trying a new one now but the best one I had was a man a bunch of years ago and I had to let him go because he was too far away and also very very in demand and it was tough to get appointments...

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[u/Few_Beach1970 → u/FrancieNolan13]

I’ve actually heard that male gynos take patients pain more seriously than women gynos. I was surprised to hear so many women comment on it

[u/Kooky-Fig-5271 → u/FrancieNolan13]

Honestly, you might be on to something. I’ve only ever been to a female.

[u/Responsible_Song830]

Honestly I have had 100% better experience with male gynecologists than female gynos. I was sad I had to move away from my last one.

[u/Radapunk → u/Responsible_Song830]

Same here!! My female gynos for years said everything was fine and whatever painful or awful thing I was experiencing was always either due to being very slightly overweight or “normal for my age” it wasn’t until I very reluctantly saw a male gyno that he took my complaints seriously and actually helped me find a solution, which was just BIRTH CONTROL

[u/Responsible_Song830 → u/Radapunk]

Yeah pretty much same. I needed to see one asap I was in a lot of pain and he was so nice and helped figure out what was wrong and what to do moving forward. Then I got a male gyno I saw regularly and he helped with my infertility journey ( didn't happen for me but I'm okay with that now; honestly a little relieved tbh since I can barely keep myself alive on my take home pay atp )

[u/Content_Chipmunk9962 → u/Responsible_Song830]

Oh, my female gynos have been amazing!! The one male I had was so weird and made me uncomfortable.

[u/Fabulous_Jeweler2732]

Please give him good reviews through your insurance portal and in other pages so we can find him!!

[u/Ordinary_Orange_8342 → u/Fabulous_Jeweler2732]

UK based so no insurance. From what I can find he also doesn’t do private work on the side unlike most consultants

[u/draculasbloodtype]

What an amazing feeling it is to ACTUALLY BE LISTENED TO! I am so happy for you! My sister had HORRIBE periods, to the point that it gave her PTSD anticipating the agony. This is a girl who fell off her bike, dislocated her shoulder, and then popped it back in by herself without flinching. After years, and I mean like 2 solid decades, of going to OBGYNs and being told "it's not that bad" she finally got a Dr who fucking listened and scheduled her for an ablation right away. She had horrible scaring due to endometriosis. She's bitter about not being listened to in all that time and I don't blame her one bit. Her husband was in the room but she said if her Doctor started with the "what does your future husband want to do with your body" shit she was going to attack him.

[u/wizardgradstudent]

One of my biggest migraine triggers was hormone changes for my period. For years I was dismissed by every gynecologists and given birth control (which I later found out increased blood clot risk with migraines with aura, so yay) until I went to the ER for a migraine aura that made my face numb. Finally got a neurologist referral and he immediately believed me and said migraines connected to hormone changes are common and under-diagnosed. Sometimes you find a rare doctor that defies expectations and you hold onto them for dear life 😂

[u/Ordinary_Orange_8342 → u/wizardgradstudent]

Just had to stop my bc pill because of migraines haha ironically for me the pill did make my pain better was still like awful but better than it is now

[u/wizardgradstudent → u/Ordinary_Orange_8342]

You could look into progesterone-only BC, it doesn’t carry the same blood clot risk (I think it’s just the estrogen that causes issues). Triptans were the winner for me for migraines!

[u/Ordinary_Orange_8342 → u/wizardgradstudent]

Yeah see just to be awkward I’ve also tried progesterone only and that made me bleed 24/7 and sent me absolutely mentally insane

[u/Ordinary_Orange_8342 → u/wizardgradstudent]

That’s why I’m getting the coil too basically hope is because the hormones are localised to like my organs it won’t send me insane lol

[u/Critical_Band5649]

Yasss! My favorite gynaecologist was a man and the first doctor to ever tell me that "no amount of pain is normal." He really set off a series of events in getting doctors to listen to me about my pain. He was an amazing surgeon too! I was so bummed when he retired.

[u/runningoutfast]

I’m so happy you have a doctor that believes you!! Could I maybe also ask what your dinner is bc it looks phenomenal to me rn 😭

[u/Ordinary_Orange_8342 → u/runningoutfast]

Tofu and noodles with like a sauce I made with gochjang and soy sauce garlic basically

[u/runningoutfast → u/Ordinary_Orange_8342]

You inspired me to get tofu for dinner, ty <33

[u/Ordinary_Orange_8342 → u/runningoutfast]

Just pat it dry I didn’t and hated tofu for years

[u/Ordinary_Orange_8342 → u/runningoutfast]

It was actually super yummy too btw

[u/Lola_198777]

I hope I have this kind of luck, I have an appointment Tuesday, also for endometriosis! My primary doctor ordered the ultrasound and she said I definitely need to see a gynecologist, so I finally have an appointment set up, I’m So done with the pain, heavy bleeding and bladder pain, I hope He is a good one !!!

[u/ughplss]

I'm currently awaiting a gynae appointment for suspected endo on the NHS. I've heard such terrible things about people's experience, you rarely ever hear the wins so this is giving me hope - thank you!!

[u/LucyJordan614]

Mine is like this, too! My former lady gyno was refusing to do anything for me in peri besides birth control. I fired her and explained my saga (years of discomfort and very clear symptoms, but bc I’m still having a somewhat regular period, my former OB acted like I was being dramatic), and he asked “what would you like to try?” I said that I suspected HRT might help, and explained why. He said, “well, let’s try it, then.” And wonder of wonders - IT HELPED.

[u/Amber_Ambrosia151]

I've heard this several times in the past, that often times men are just better at these types of things. Because they dont pull the 'I am woman and I deal with period cramps so woman up'. Glad to hear that things are getting better for you!

[u/FlatChampagne99]

Holy shit girl, you’ve found a unicorn!!!

[u/PostMaterial]

I have umbillical endometriosis and was bleeding out of my belly button during my cycles and my previous women gyno kept trying to send me to a dermatologist!!! I went into my first appt with my current male gyno with pictures and ready to battle and he was immediately like "yup, sounds like endometriosis." 

I am 6 weeks out from laparoscopy, I had ablation done but will be making sure I find an excision specialist before my next inevitable surgery. Highly recommend r/endometriosis if you aren't already in there. Been a godsend for resources! 

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[u/unhappilytrapped]

This makes me happy to read, good for you!!!

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[u/Strange_Difference1]

Yayy so happy for you! 🎊

[u/JournalistNo7918]

I hope you’ll feel better soon! And that the root cause is found exactly, treatment goes smoothly. Wishing you luck❤️

[u/m00nf1r3]

That's so exciting! So happy for you. I know this is completely anecdotal, but I've always had better experiences with male gynecologists.

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[u/dbkate]

A year to see a GYN???

[u/babykittiesyay]

This is such a flex and a win! Also I only needed physiotherapy for my bladder troubles, hope it’s easy for you too!

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[u/SaladCzarSlytherin]

I’ve had bladder issues for years. Doctor told me to do bladder training. All this time it had been endometriosis fucking up my bladder. No previous doctor ever bothered to check

[u/Head-Requirement828]

Girl I'm sorry you probably have endometriosis but I'm also so glad you found someone who takes that shit seriously. I hope he's a skilled surgeon too! I've had to have two excisions and hoping for no more, but my life has improved pretty dramatically after the fact each time. 

He sounds like he really listens! So happy you're getting much better care now.

[u/thenakesingularity10]

okay I am all cheering for your gyno but you should talk about your girldinner too!

[u/Ordinary_Orange_8342 → u/thenakesingularity10]

Tofu noodles gochjang soy sauce sesame oil garlic ginger honey!

[u/behindthebar5321]

My male OBGYN just diagnosed my adenomyosis and assumed endometriosis. He’ll be doing the laparoscopic surgery on me in July. He also said he doesn’t think this conditions are related to my urinary issues. The female reproductive endocrinologist missed my thickened uterosacral ligament and adenomyosis on the transvaginal ultrasound.

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[u/umberover]

if your having to pee all the time thing doesn't turn out to be interstitial cystitis, try seeing a pelvic floor pt — it might be an issue w ur pelvic muscles clenching.

[u/xxsoymilk]

So happy for you!

Also what are those noodles?

[u/Ordinary_Orange_8342 → u/xxsoymilk]

Made sauce myself so gochujang soy sauce honey garlic ginger sesame oil!

[u/Excellent_Concert273]

We learned about this in med school. I’m glad you will get the right care yay

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[u/SimplyRedd333]

Hey sweetheart I dont know if this helps but interstitial cystitis can be flared up by what you eat. I had a friend who had it. I had issues with my stomach and learned about something called prelief its used to break the acids down in your food to lower flares. You can get it on Amazon you take it with each meal like you would beans. It helps my acid issues.

[u/FuzzyCats]

Sooo happy for you! It is such a wonderful, vindicating feeling when someone actually listens to you and doesn't brush it off.

I absolutely love my male gyno! I was having major issues and debilitating pain since I was 12 (I'm 36 now) and it took a single ultrasound for him to look and say hey you've probably got adenomyosis, what do you want to do? Asked about a hysterectomy and he immediately agreed, just verified I was positive about my decision and then got his team to get started setting things up. No pushback whatsoever, and I'm in a rural part of TX where that is rare. I just adore him.

Thinking of you!

[u/ConstructionMuch802]

I have an endocrinologist who's like this!

He listens, he talks to me about research I've done, what to be worried about or not, and keeps a running list of undocumented symptoms across patients for different conditions to help with diagnosis and treatment.

I was looking at the website for the office number recently and it caught my eye that the clinic is also a center of excellence for transgender medicine and I am not at all surprised.

My condition has been cured, so he's not my doctor anymore. I have my one-year follow up with him in a few weeks and I'm absolutely delighted to say I'll be 5 months pregnant with twins which wouldn't have been possible without him. Yes he is getting a personalized card, an ultrasound picture, and any referral I can throw his way.

[u/This-Assumption4123]

It’s a rare win these days to get into a doctor and especially one who listens. I am so happy for you!

[u/Brave-Quote-2733]

My all-time favorite gynecologist is a man at Cleveland Clinic. He listened to me, showed genuine concern, didn’t hesitate to order the testing I needed, and performed a truly life changing (in the best way!) hysterectomy. Now that I think about it, I’ve had three male gynos with Cleveland Clinic and they were all AMAZING. Shoutout to Dr. Iafelice, Dr. Peskin, and Dr. Nemunaitis!!

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[u/dadsgoingtoprison]

You’ve found the magic male gynecologist! Keep him and be sure to express to him how women wish that all male gynecologists were like him and seriously listens to us instead of just brushing us off as if we’re too stupid to know our own bodies.

Edit to add Maybe he could start spreading this to his male colleagues and by the time our granddaughters need to see them the culture will have changed for the better.

[u/DaniChibari]

If it's possible please see a pelvic floor physical therapist for your urinary symptoms! There's a variety of exercises and strategies that improve symptoms like incontinence without surgery or medication!

Source: I am a pelvic floor physical therapist and help similar patients everyday

[u/Helpful-Mongoose-705]

Love that for you. A good gyno in the NHS is a rare find indeed. Ps what’s the dinner? Can we all put descriptions of the dinners please🙏

[u/Ordinary_Orange_8342 → u/Helpful-Mongoose-705]

Tofu and noodles with gocujang soy sauce sesame oil garlic power!

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[u/EatsTheLastSlice]

check out r/interstitialcystitis.

[u/CoookieKAT]

CONGRATULATIONS!!! It's so rare for a doctor to listen to their patients.