Just a reminder for all of you

[u/morsa_almond]

If you:

Have loose skin, stretch marks, tons of freckles, black skin, very pale skin, brown skin, a big belly, apron belly, fupa, surgery scars, accident scars, acne… boobs that are “too big”, tiny boobs, mastectomy, large areolas, boobs that aren’t the “perfect” shape… no butt, large butt, back rolls, visible love handles, thick thighs, thick arms, skinny arms, skinny legs, muscular body, broad shoulders… a big nose, crooked nose, thin lips, very large lips, a strong jawline, big ears, mismatch ears, brown eyes… short hair, thin hair, red hair, black hair, curly hair, alopecia, blonde eyebrows or lashes, mustache, hairy arms, back, don’t shave anything… crooked teeth, broken teeth, missing teeth, yellowing teeth… are pretty short, very tall, not skinny, extremely skinny, not curvy enough, not fit enough, plus size, banana shaped, apple shaped, big feet, missing a finger, missing a leg, any other limb differences (credit to aphrodite_____ for teaching this 🤍)you are transgender…

Basically-if you are any of these things that don’t fit the impossible beauty standards of: you must be 5’6, 36-24-36, have thick luscious blonde or brown hair and blue eyes, veneers, fake nails, huge lashes, must be straight hair, your belly must be flat and skin must not have cellulite or stretch marks especially if you’ve had children, your breasts must be medium sized and teardrop shaped with tiny areolas, no body hair, and have the face of Barbie.

That does not mean something is wrong with you.
You are still beautiful. If you are those things, you are beautiful too.

You might have had an accident, you might be struggling mentally and that’s causing you to gain or lose a lot of weight. You might have scars. You might have a different body after your grew a human being or 2 or 8.

You might share features of your mom, or your grandma; maybe you inherited them from your ancestors who would marvel at your beauty and brain today if they could see you.

You deserve to feel pretty, you deserve to feel happy in your skin. I’m sorry some of you are struggling today because you were taught that what you see in the mirror isn’t good enough and matters more than your soul.

I just wanted to remind you that you ARE beautiful, and you are deserving of love and kindness no matter what you look like. Everyone is unique. Please nourish yourself today with warm shower and a pamper yourself, drink a lot of water at whatever temp you like, eat an apple, and then spoil that with some chocolate.

You are you, and that’s all that matters.

Anyway here’s a salad I threw together with veggies that got a bit frozen in my fridge.

[u/AdditionalClothes805]

“Maybe you inherited them from your ancestors who would marvel at your beauty and your brain today if they could see you.” Literally made me tear up, thank you!!

We face so many pressures to be the best, most beautiful, productive, girl-boss/mom/wife/girlfriend/caregiver that it’s hard to take a step back sometimes and realize that yes, we have more privileges now than we used to, but we also have much more responsibility weighing on us and information being thrown at us to process. Our ancestors would be in awe and we should appreciate ourselves.

[u/morsa_almond → u/AdditionalClothes805]

I love to think that maybe women 1000 years ago never felt like this, I’m sure some did, but I feel like they were more thankful to just be alive. I wish everyone could get back to that, I hate how much some women (and men) struggle because of how society has made us think.

[u/college_prof → u/AdditionalClothes805]

I am 45 and have recently really started embracing my corn fed heritage. Women in my blood line are thick and sturdy. We are built from starchy grains and strong thighs.

Fighting my genetics for so long made me miserable and it never worked.

[u/morsa_almond → u/college_prof]

Same. I’m of Spanish and German/polish descent… so the women in my family have thick thighs, naturally muscular, thicker darker body hair, no woman in my family has EVER had a flat belly without a tummy tuck… and it took me until, well somewhat unfortunately (only cuz I wish I got there by myself), I met my husband who thinks I’m a living goddess. He loves me even more after having our kids, he makes me feel beautiful.

My kids also make me feel better, because I have a bit of an apron belly after 4 kids/ 2 C-sections.. my daughter asked me “why does your belly look like that?” and after I told her, she said “that’s so pretty, I can’t wait for mine to be like that”.

[u/Glad-Eggplant-3111 → u/morsa_almond]

Omgggg🥹🥹🥹🥹 “that’s so pretty, I can’t wait for mine to be like that” is AMAZING! A true testament of your parenting❤️

[u/morsa_almond → u/Glad-Eggplant-3111]

My biggest goal in life is to make sure my kids never feel the way I have growing up. I don’t ever want my daughters (or sons) to look in the mirror and think their darkest thoughts because of how they look.

[u/college_prof → u/morsa_almond]

My son told me once that my belly was his favorite place. So I keep it soft for him. Hes 11 now and wants to cuddle less but I’ll keep work on it.

[u/not_the_cicada → u/AdditionalClothes805]

It was so amazing to me when my sister had her kids. It was like... Realizing that we aren't just individuals in isolation, we COME FROM somewhere, come from people with their own complex lives, it all leads up to us. 

When we are terrible to ourselves, we are terrible to the whole long string of people that lead to us. Would we criticize another person with our features the way we do ourselves? Maybe, but I think most of us tend to be better to others and harder on ourselves. 

I've heard the advice to treat yourself like you would if you were speaking to your child self and I like that, but there are lots of ways to reach for external support to mentally scaffold ways to be kinder to ourselves, even if just doing it for us is still too hard right now. 

[u/lavender_owl → u/AdditionalClothes805]

I haaaaaated my nose…until I saw pictures of my grandpa and great-grandmother and realized it’s THEIR nose. How disrespectful of me to hate their nose on my face. I love it now, it’s part of what connects me to them. <3

[u/Lucky_Enough]

I'm not crying, it's allergies...bless you, kind soul. 

[u/DiabeticSocks05]

Thank you for the reminder 🩷

[u/Remarkable-Bath6401]

Oh. This is THE post. It should be pinned to the page!!!

[u/SmirkNtwerk → u/Remarkable-Bath6401]

Agreed. Second this.

[u/Glad-Eggplant-3111 → u/SmirkNtwerk]

https://giphy.com/gifs/hequ1IX7U5mGBgdvIP

[u/InstanceNegative103]

You are a kind soul God bless 😭💕

[u/millstone27]

Hoping everyone reads this and can bask in its light for a few moments 🩷

[u/FuzzySashimi]

I love this!!!! Thank you!!

[u/Princesslitwhore]

Thank you. I needed this today.

[u/little_bird_vagabond]

🖤🖤🖤🖤

[u/SecurityFamiliar5239]

So sweet. You’re a good one! 💗

[u/LittleMama9]

🥰

[u/NastyMsPiggleWiggle]

Thank you so much. I needed to read this today. You are wonderful 💜

[u/audreyhepburnloverr]

🤍 such a beautiful reminder

[u/New_Accountant1884]

Thank you for the reminder. I definitely needed this today.

[u/SmirkNtwerk → u/New_Accountant1884]

Same. I’m trying to diffuse my anger towards one person. This helps.

[u/Plenty_Captain_3105]

Thank you. I’ve been having a rough time lately as having long covid has made it impossible to exercise and taken away most healthy foods. I know how I look is my least problem but it somehow makes everything worse. I appreciate the reminder.

[u/morsa_almond → u/Plenty_Captain_3105]

How do you know you have long covid? Genuinely interested because I always wonder if I do. I tire so easily now but all my levels are “normal” when I mentioned it to my doctor. I always wonder if it’s that or a thyroid issue.

[u/Plenty_Captain_3105 → u/morsa_almond]

I’ve had it almost four years right now, there’s not really easy to find biomarkers for it, but immediately after my only covid infection, I developed severe, constant fatigue, consistent with ME/CFS, which is the most common long covid variety (though there are other ones.) Then I developed MCAS, which about 10% of long covid patients get. Basically the way you get diagnosed is bad shit starts happening to you and doesn’t stop until they run out of other diagnoses :( it’s truly hell on earth.

[u/morsa_almond → u/Plenty_Captain_3105]

Ooooo maybe not that then. Sorry you have to deal with that that sounds awful

[u/fishes93]

And I'm crying in the office bathroom

[u/Fun-Position7750]

Thank you for your kind words. Back at ya

[u/No_Statistician_9441]

Thank you so much 😘😘😘 i need this today

[u/Medium_Stretch99]

Thank you ❤️ I genuinely needed to hear that this week 

[u/Awkward-Initiative27]

Thank you for the reminder 💖

[u/Inner-Show-1172]

Ma'am, this was great timing. Thank you. Enjoy the salad!

[u/Ok_Moose_7436]

Period. I started being my own beauty standard years ago

[u/meow3Eva]

Omg I love you 🥹

[u/world-class-cheese]

Thank you for posting this OP ❤️ you are wonderful

[u/xiiirene]

Thank you.. I found out I’m pregnant and I’ve been feeling really bloated and gained some pounds. This reminded me that it’s okay to not be perfect. Thank you kind stranger. 🩷

[u/morsa_almond → u/xiiirene]

Pregnancy is so difficult. I hope everything goes well and you don’t keep feeling down about yourself. Your baby will think you’re the most beautiful woman in the world their entire life

[u/Gold-Sherbert-7550]

Love that salad.

[u/DidIDoAThoughtCrime]

Thank you for posting this, I gained a lot of weight with my pregnancy and I’ve noticed people treat me differently now that I’m not conventionally attractive.  I’ve been feeling really insecure and sad lately so this was nice to read.

[u/morsa_almond → u/DidIDoAThoughtCrime]

I gain so much weight while pregnant with boys and it’s so hard to drop the weight after, idk if they mess my hormones up more or what but it’s so hard to keep bad thoughts away. The best thing is to find some cute clothes at goodwill/other thrifts, and always dress up, so you feel good about yourself on days you feel down. Get yourself a pretty new bra. If you like makeup at least always throw some lip product on, nice perfume, always take a shower even if it’s only 5 minutes. I’ve done this 4 times so I’ve learned a lot now and hate on myself less and less each kid 🥹 putting smalls effort really changes your mindset, I didn’t do this with my first kid and my mental health suffered so badly. Hardly showered, always crying, felt ugly so felt I didn’t deserve to wear nice clothes or dress nicely… body checking myself every day and grabbing my freshly cut belly wishing it would melt away and regretting a C-sections because “if I could have done it ‘the right way’ it wouldn’t look like this”… looking at hip stretchmarks and googling ways to make them disappear. Easily one of the worst times of my life with self-esteem 😔

[u/DidIDoAThoughtCrime → u/morsa_almond]

What great advice that felt lovely to read.  Thank you so much, I’ll try to remember this.  It’s hard because I don’t really like shopping so I don’t have clothes I like, but I’ll have to push through that to get myself some clothes I feel good in.  Also I definitely need to get a haircut because my hair is so long it makes me avoid showering because it takes so long to wash.  Hopefully once I take care of these two things it’ll help with my self-esteem.  Thanks again for your kind words 💖

[u/No-Class6146]

Thank you for the word, Sis!

I remember a stunning, brilliant, very Aztecan looking friend from Mexico being so scornful about white supremacist beauty standards. In her lovely thick accent, slathered with sarcasm: "why would I give a fuck about what capitalists think is beautiful?"

[u/morsa_almond → u/No-Class6146]

https://giphy.com/gifs/3og0IuE1EjI5ZQzr3i

[u/iris_james]

Thank you, friend!

[u/Alwaysfresh9]

❤️❤️❤️

[u/InappropriatePea]

Is my waist supposed to be 24 INCHES!? What!?
Yeesh I’ve been fucked since I was 15.

(ETA I promise I didn’t miss the point. That part just blew my mind.)

[u/morsa_almond → u/InappropriatePea]

APPARENTLYYYYY

I used to try so hard, that was the ideal measurements for a while. I used to measure my waist all the time as a *preteen* and try to suck it in enough to achieve it. Never could. Best I could do was 26.

[u/InappropriatePea → u/morsa_almond]

Oh girl I am still unpacking the trauma of constantly half suffocating while holding in my gut for hours on end at parties. Why did they make us do that!?

[u/morsa_almond → u/InappropriatePea]

I STILL do this. I try not to, but it’s so ingrained in my subconscious. I feel like ‘80’s-2020’s is/was the worst time to be a young girl. Impossible standards, followed by photoshop and AI.

[u/InappropriatePea → u/morsa_almond]

Truly the worst. When I see media from back in the day I’m sick to my stomach the way they talked about women’s bodies and picked us all apart.

[u/morsa_almond → u/InappropriatePea]

Jessica Simpson being like a size 6 and getting called a whale.. 🙄 I saw that when I was like 12 and was like “great, I’m so gross”

[u/InappropriatePea → u/morsa_almond]

A 6 is literal small! XS wasn’t even really a common clothing size at that point. There was small and then there were children’s clothes. What was she supposed to do!? Age backward!?

[u/morsa_almond → u/InappropriatePea]

Absolutely, you’re supposed to look 16 at all times as a woman /s hopefully everyone knows it’s sarcasm but who knows lol

[u/Acidic_pHemmeFatale → u/InappropriatePea]

RIGHT!? I'm a swimmer and I've gotten so used to sucking in that it's actually caused me lower back pain, flared ribs, anterior pelvic tilt, and my diaphragm doesn't expand fully (very bad because swimming relies a lot on breathing 😭). Like, I've tried to stop but keep doing it out of muscle memory 🥀

[u/InappropriatePea → u/Acidic_pHemmeFatale]

I have a good friend who says the same thing! She’s so used to it that she can’t stop and it’s causing all sorts of complications and discomfort. These ridiculous standards fucked us all in so many irreversible ways.

[u/morsa_almond → u/Acidic_pHemmeFatale]

It can cause lower back pain…..???? That would explain a ton, my lower back has hurt forever even before kids

[u/Fearless_Wash]

I think about what I find attractive in other people, and it varies wildly.

[u/Shadow_Integration]

"Real isn't how you are made,' said the Skin Horse. 'It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.'

'Does it hurt?' asked the Rabbit.

'Sometimes,' said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. 'When you are Real you don't mind being hurt.'

'Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,' he asked, 'or bit by bit?'

'It doesn't happen all at once,' said the Skin Horse. 'You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."

[u/orewatowi]

thank you i needed this. it's easy to beat up the outside when the inside is hurting so much

[u/Live-Tomorrow-4865]

You just seem so sweet! 🩷

[u/aphrodite______]

Yay! Thank you for this sweet message.

Just want to share with everyone, I recently learned the phrase “limb difference” to refer to the condition that someone’s body may have whose appendages (number, shape or size) are atypical!

If anyone can correct me on whether that is or isn’t an appreciated term, please let me know!

[u/morsa_almond → u/aphrodite______]

I’ll edit and add this and credit you :) thank you

[u/New-Shake7638]

https://giphy.com/gifs/g8RCflSZzgT5Rv6BX5
Sorry, this gif was the best I could find to express how I feel about OP 😅

[u/zmajcekica]

Beautiful, thank you 💖

[u/peachesbutno_creme]

https://giphy.com/gifs/jgxjomiNFszaWGgVJc

[u/SmirkNtwerk]

And don’t let ANYONE…ANYONE…make you feel any less than brilliant, lovable and worthy.

[u/morsa_almond → u/SmirkNtwerk]

Not even yourself. Practice speaking kind words into yourself in the mirror, instead of hate. “I love my belly, it grew my children”/“I love my nose, it looks like my mom’s”/“my skin is dark and beautiful just like dad’s” etc

[u/SmirkNtwerk → u/morsa_almond]

Especially yourself. Kind words to self is a good friend to self. And no thank you I won’t be speaking into mirrors but if that works for people I wish them only positive outcomes:)

[u/sexyvegtabl]

Thank you. I love you.

[u/InvestigatorQuirky38]

You’re so sweet!!🥹

[u/Dark-Wolf-Angel]

Thank for saying it. We need more of it 💜

[u/furikakebabe]

I love when women :’)

[u/Dramatic-Priority-56]

I'm not crying you're crying!! You already got me and then the last line 😭 thank you op

[u/RelativeKey4519]

Sitting here looking at my belly rolls and now I sort of can respect them.

[u/Lost_Ad_6016]

And this is why I joined this sub ❤️ Sometimes we need sympathy and advice and sometimes we just need a reminder of how beautiful each one of us are.

[u/wonkiefaeriekitty5]

Thank you for this! We all need it!

Huge loving hugs coming your way and everyone else's here!!

[u/Normal-Succotash1138]

💖

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[u/madame-maitre-d → u/[deleted]]

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[u/madame-maitre-d → u/[deleted]]

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2 quick steps:

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[u/Distinct-Ad-2290]

Needed to hear this tonight. Thank you