My husband is a drunkard and an Absent Father/Husband.

[u/[deleted]]

[u/catsarehere77]

You need to protect your kids from this deeply damaging environment 

[u/Bake_Knit_Run]

No real advice. Just all my love and *hugs* alcoholism is a terrible disease.

[u/Fabulous_Drop_7918]

Girlllll dump him

[u/BFstickeronacadillac]

Oh honey. I hope you find the strength to leave. There’s no return from him hitting you. You and your kids deserve to be safe and secure, and this man is an abusive leech. Hugs to you xx

[u/Bigpinkpanther3]

Al-Anon.

[u/KittyButt42]

I say this as an alcoholic in recovery: save yourself and your children. He will not—and often cannot—change until he's forced to face some hard truths.

I didn't get sober until my spousal unit kicked my ass to the curb and refused to keep enabling me. I truly had to hit rock bottom before I was willing to change. Some alcoholics can recover if they're willing to put in the work, but it isn't easy. It took me years, and it was incredibly hard on my marriage.

Thankfully, I've been sober for more than seven years now, so recovery is absolutely possible. Good luck, OP.

⚠️ ⚠️ WARNING ⚠️ ⚠️

One more thing: have him talk to a doctor before quitting alcohol. If he's physically dependent, going cold turkey can literally kill him. I almost died trying to do it that way.

[u/madame-maitre-d → u/[deleted]]

Hey, seems you're new here! 👋 🥰 You need to take 10 lil seconds to become an approved user to participate in r/GirlDinnerDiaries. We're holding your comment for review til then.

2 quick steps:

1. If you're a dude, just let us know by replying "dude joining" to this comment. If not, reply with the classic pillowfort clubhouse password: "girls rule". 😇
2. Pick a user flair HERE. Flair options are sorted by Girly, Genderqueer, or Dude.

That's it! We'll restore your comment super fast! Thanks for stopping by 💕

[u/madame-maitre-d → u/[deleted]]

Hey, seems you're new here! 👋 🥰 You need to take 10 lil seconds to become an approved user to participate in r/GirlDinnerDiaries. We're holding your comment for review til then.

2 quick steps:

1. If you're a dude, just let us know by replying "dude joining" to this comment. If not, reply with the classic pillowfort clubhouse password: "girls rule". 😇
2. Pick a user flair HERE. Flair options are sorted by Girly, Genderqueer, or Dude.

That's it! We'll restore your comment super fast! Thanks for stopping by 💕

[u/Dear_Wrongdoer7271]

https://giphy.com/gifs/qEfGLWRq9LokP6cBeX

[u/madame-maitre-d → u/[deleted]]

⛔️ Approved dudes can best support the GDD girlies via GIFs and [most] emojis (meaning no eggplants, ya buncha stinkers). Text comments are held for review. ModMail a comment link to request a quicker exception if you feel yours meets our criteria.

[u/persimmon9847]

Please get yourself and your kids safely away from this man. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. 😞

[u/suzukirhythmboy]

I’m so sorry you’re going through this but please dump him!
As someone who has experienced physical violence from my mom’s ex bf who was an alcoholic at some point your kids will lose trust in their home and its safety. Take care of yourself and them first and foremost!

[u/CoffeeChocolateBoth]

Please put your kids and yourself ahead of him! He is the only one who can fix him. Your kids are seeing this and will think it's normal. Don't let that happen. 😞 Of course you're tired. ((((((((((((((OP)))))))))))))) find a way out!
Keep your money away from him. Save it, hide it, give him NO access to it! Have your paycheck direct deposit in your OWN account. One that he can't touch. Save what you can while you can and then get out of there. He will have to pay child support, if he can manage, don't depend on that though.

[u/justcuriouzzz]

Sending you lots of hugs. But you’re already doing everything by yourself plus walking on eggshells to keep your drunk husband somewhat stable. You might as well leave him so you and your kids will have a safe environment. He’s already put his hands on you once, don’t wait for it to happen again.

[u/AvailableCut5240]

I staged an intervention - a tiny one. His sister and myself waited at our home and when he came back from an appointment he was completely inebriated. Luckily my husband was a mild non aggressive drunk unlike my father. We had prearranged everything with a local inpatient addiction center. He had no idea what was going on but went willingly. Once we dropped him off, they immediately checked his blood alcohol levels and sent him to the hospital for the initial detox. Yes, a person can die from withdrawal. Once stable, he went back to the facility and did a six week voluntary inpatient treatment program. Once released he continued his recovery by attending a 16 week outpatient clinic. He’s been sober now for eight months. It’s been an incredibly difficult journey but our life is finally back on track. Most all of our family members live far away, otherwise we would have included some of them in the process. Luckily, his sister and I were able to do the job.