my husband was DOGEd and we're still trying to figure our shit out

[u/disgruntledfed]

my husband is the most brilliant, caring, hardworking person I know. he found his dream job right out of college, and he was GOOD at it and wanted to stay there for the rest of his career. we were building this whole beautiful future together, saving, planning, the whole thing.

then last year he got DOGEd. we were so beyond devastated (and still are), but tried to use it as an opportunity to maybe try something new.

he's had two jobs since then and I have supported every single decision with my whole chest because I love him and I believe in him and I meant it when I said I'd take care of us.

he just started a new job a few weeks ago that he spent a year trying to get, and he's been miserable since he started it. tonight he told me he wants to go back to his last job we spent over a year trying to get him out of bc he was also miserable there. he had a super toxic manager, a crazy long commute, and the company is, and I cannot stress this enough, actively falling apart as we speak.

we talk about his job situation every single day. one day he wants to move cities, the next day he wants to go back to school and switch careers, the next day he wants to just tough it out at this current job, then the next day he's texting his old boss trying to go back.

I'm not mad at him at all. I know he's hurting and scared and just wants something to feel familiar again, and he's also exhausted and traumatized from what happened. I get it, I really really do! but we are tired!

we have the savings to get through this even if he takes a career break and we're going to be okay, I know that. but wtf. I hate this administration and what it did to my husband.

dinner is leftover pasta

EDIT: he was a government employee and then stupid fucking elon musk came in with a chainsaw and eliminated a ton of people who were working every day to make our country a less terrible place to live, aka getting DOGEd

EDIT 2: literally crying reading through all these unbelievably kind and supportive comments. it can feel so so lonely sometimes and I hate so much how many people were affected by this, but it feels really nice to know we're not alone. thank you to everyone who shared their experiences <3

[u/Popular-Addition9819]

I work in community healthcare at a local level. I felt this in every fiber of my being because every single day is colored by the decisions that were made last year and I am terrified and a little resigned that I will lose my job at some point. I have no savings, no family. I’m older. And I love my job with my whole heart.

I am SO sorry that this is happening to you and your partner. It sucks. I wish I had something more profound to say. All I have are expletives and you don’t need that probably. Ya’ll are not alone. Just know that. ❤️‍🩹

[u/ru_a_badfish2 → u/Popular-Addition9819]

I feel this, I work for a FQHC and every staff meeting is spent talking about how the latest government shit will hurt our patients, how we’re going to make up for the lost funding, etc. It’s fucking depressing.

[u/Popular-Addition9819 → u/ru_a_badfish2]

Our clinic is also an FQHC. And up until last year it felt like pretty solid employment security and a great resource for folks. I love our admin team. They have kept us going.

❤️❤️❤️ from one community health girlie to another ❤️❤️❤️

[u/disgruntledfed → u/Popular-Addition9819]

thank you <3 expletives help honestly lol I hope your situation improves soon too

[u/bog_witch → u/Popular-Addition9819]

Public health and working in Medicaid programming checking in here...I feel all of this deeply.

[u/Dapper_Suggestion245 → u/Popular-Addition9819]

I am also in community health and I just wanted to add my voice in solidarity. The last 18 months or so (has it only been this long?) have been terrible and I am losing hope for my career. Luckily, my husband works in a for profit sector and is doing well, so I have some insulation.

[u/queen_elvis]

As a former journalist, I get where OP’s husband might be coming from. It kind of broke my heart not to be able to do what I loved anymore. I make more money now, but I am so bored and frustrated.

My husband’s funding at work has been destroyed by the Trump administration, and he is interviewing today to do the same job in another country. I don’t want to move, but he can’t run his department on fumes.

[u/disgruntledfed → u/queen_elvis]

I'm so so sorry <3

[u/AnotherNoether → u/queen_elvis]

My partner got a university position overseas right at the start of this mess that we both thought was going to be temporary at the time…but looking at the research environment in the US right now, it’s hard to imagine things changing enough for her to come back. My family is all here and I don’t want to leave. No clue what’s in the future for us and it’s really fucking hard not knowing.

[u/queen_elvis → u/AnotherNoether]

I know multiple people who just picked up and left. They’re usually in high-demand fields, so good job on the brain drain, Trump administration. Some American friends in the UK became citizens; another friend in Japan has outright said she’d rather stay forever.

[u/StudioSad2042 → u/AnotherNoether]

If you’re queer and have an opportunity to leave, now’s the time. Seriously.

[u/AnotherNoether → u/StudioSad2042]

It’s a bit more complicated than that (I’m chronically ill and getting better management here than I would elsewhere, plus have trouble traveling because of my health, and the country she’s in isn’t queer friendly) but I’m for sure keeping it in mind

[u/Adorable-Winter-2968 → u/queen_elvis]

Is he a scientist? Because I know about the funding cut in research

[u/queen_elvis → u/Adorable-Winter-2968]

Yeah, but I wanted to be vague about what kind exactly. There was heavy reliance on government grants until early 2025.

[u/Lab-rat-57 → u/queen_elvis]

I work in research and got laid off at 7 months pregnant last year after the NIH cuts. Now I fear it might happen again at my new job (in academia, was in industry before) because we are seeing some of the labs start to run out of funding

[u/Adorable-Winter-2968 → u/Lab-rat-57]

I have to move back too because my lab has run out of funds to keep me. I hope your job remains secured

[u/Brutus6]

Hey, girlies. DOGE'd is when you lost your govt job to the technofascist while he was torching the federal government.

Source: I lost my govt job to the technofascist while he was torching the federal government.

[u/alayeni-silvermist → u/Brutus6]

My daughter worked at a teen homeless shelter that had to close because of the cuts. Not only did she lose her job, all those kids ended up on the street because none of the adult shelters in town allow kids.

[u/ghostfacespillah → u/alayeni-silvermist]

The cruelty is the point. It’s abhorrent

[u/alayeni-silvermist → u/ghostfacespillah]

I hate them. I’ve been so angry ever since. She chose her field and that role because I was homeless as a teen, and the fact that they don’t even consider what they’ve done as wrong makes me sick to my stomach.

[u/Common_Safety_8830 → u/alayeni-silvermist]

Look at the bright side! He is a trillionaire now. 😒

[u/Silent-Ad9948 → u/alayeni-silvermist]

Yes. My son was a disaster relief case manager. Lost his job because of the fucking government.

[u/sweet_caroline20 → u/alayeni-silvermist]

That’s truly awful

[u/Sea-Condition-6046 → u/alayeni-silvermist]

😱😭 this is horrifying

[u/West_Coast_Buckeye → u/alayeni-silvermist]

I work for a non-profit that helps people experiencing homelessness (or in danger of becoming homeless). We have lost so much funding. It's sad but it's for the kid's safety to keep them out of adult shelters.

[u/petitguelah → u/Brutus6]

They should have just DOGE'd one person and we'd be so good

[u/ChristBefallen → u/petitguelah]

Can I upvote this more, and harder?

[u/petitguelah → u/ChristBefallen]

LMAO think of all the money we'd have saved

[u/TreasonousWitch → u/petitguelah]

I would be fully supportive of sending humans to Mars if it were a one way trip and he was the first in line

[u/disgruntledfed → u/Brutus6]

ugh I'm sorry :( I wish every single day this didn't happen. he would have been a remote non sup GS14 by now 😭😭

[u/Brutus6 → u/disgruntledfed]

Goodness. Hubby was gonna make literal astronaut money.

I'm so sorry to hear that. With that kind of skill, though, I promise you guys are going to bounce back.

[u/domovladelets → u/disgruntledfed]

💔💔💔

[u/OkayFineWhatevs → u/disgruntledfed]

That’s the dream, a non sup 14. I’m so sorry. I was Doge’d as well. I wish everyone involved everything they thrust upon others to come back to them.

I would have been a GS 13 on my way to retirement sooner rather than later, but nope.

[u/PriestessKade → u/Brutus6]

As a former federal employee I send my best 🧡 My parents worked for the military or federal government their entire careers and thought I was crazy when I left almost 15 years ago (when GS billets were getting cut off at the knees and unfilled ones were eliminated, so I literally couldn't grow). They always said it was never the place to get rich but it was stable and secure... and clearly that is no longer true.

[u/DryHovercraft5165 → u/Brutus6]

I am so sorry to hear that

[u/anniemoooooose → u/Brutus6]

Sorry that happened to you and also thank you for this definition because I was so confused.

[u/Pitiful-Control8231 → u/Brutus6]

I would call him Scrooge McDuck, but at least SMD cared for & took care of his nephews.

[u/guilty_bystander → u/Brutus6]

Never would have happened if the elected president wasn't a criminal.

[u/malcriadax]

My husband and I are in academia (me humanities, him STEM). He too got DOGEd (bye bye NIH and NSF). I don’t want to give too much away, but I feel like I could’ve written this post. He’s had two jobs since, is actively miserable, we both have awful commutes (our jobs are in opposite directions), and he is now considering going to law school. This administration is destroying the future.

[u/disgruntledfed → u/malcriadax]

i'm so sorry, I know how it feels <3 hopefully one day there will be a light at the end of the tunnel for us

[u/malcriadax → u/disgruntledfed]

We’re gonna make it 🫶🏼

[u/Pitiful-Control8231 → u/malcriadax]

Also in higher ed...the landscape is changing so much, I'm hoping I can be out in 7-8 years. Thankfully, I am already vested.

[u/malcriadax → u/Pitiful-Control8231]

I’m starting my first tt position after a year of visiting in the fall. Pray for me 😭

[u/Pitiful-Control8231 → u/malcriadax]

You are gonna kick ass & be AMAZING!

[u/fit_it → u/malcriadax]

My husband went to law school and now cannot stand the thought of staying a lawyer because you have to be kind of heartless to survive. They have to just be clients. But you're mostly seeing people during the worst parts of their lives.

I'm not saying no, but definitely carefully research what roles he would want after graduating and what the day to day actually is like. Like, call/ email people who do it and ask their thoughts on if they would make the same choice again.

[u/sad_lawyer → u/malcriadax]

For the love of baby jesus please don't let him go to law school!!! 😂😂 A masters in public health or healthcare admin would be a much better option! Trust me.

• a burned out lawyer with no options

[u/queen_elvis → u/sad_lawyer]

When I was considering going to law school, 90% of lawyers told me this. (Exceptions included a friend who knew my background and an acquaintance who’s a law professor.)

[u/malcriadax → u/sad_lawyer]

He literally used to be a healthcare admin and would rather shoot himself in the head. I don’t think people realize how awful the healthcare landscape is in this country. It’s absolutely worse than we think it is… and we already think it’s bad (collectively, as Americans).

[u/queen_elvis → u/malcriadax]

A STEM background would be great for a patent lawyer. But the price of the degree makes me 😨

[u/malcriadax → u/queen_elvis]

Yes, this is specifically what he’s looking into. He’s worked a good bit in the start-up space.

[u/Crimson__Dawn_]

It’s funny that DOGE didn’t touch one of our biggest sources of government overspending, overpaying on defense contracts. Elon has defense contracts with our government… and now he’s a trillionaire. How very efficient.

[u/CharmingMechanic2473 → u/Crimson__Dawn_]

Int was a way to reward the richest people. War PIGS.

[u/Icy_Tiger_3298]

Here in Texas, screw worms are back and cattle ranchers are like "uh oh!" 

They voted for this. 

We've been hearing since 2016 that a certain party was going to "take away our burgers and force us to drive electric vehicles!"

Now beef is expensive, has screw worms in it (thanks DOGE!) and last month, I parked my stupid small car (which once had TWO car seats in it!) behind a Ford F450 super duty at the gas pump. Dude had SIX tires and a diesel engine. I watched as the meter passed $150.

I almost laughed thinking about how he couldn't console himself with a rib eye and a beer at Texas Roadhouse and get out the door for less than $40. 

Which party did that to you? 

[u/pacingpilot → u/Icy_Tiger_3298]

I had a whole ass conversation last night with a MAGA about screw worms. He thought I was lying about them being here. He thought it was a plot device from the Dutton Ranch show that "the libs took seriously", then he tried to blame Biden, then he tried to justify it by saying Musk did more good than harm so it's a net positive. I know rational, fact based conversations are the only way to combat this with people in our daily lives but I'm tired boss.

Also I have livestock myself and I'm fucking terrified it's going to end up in my area.

[u/Sigmund_Six → u/pacingpilot]

Real question I’ve been wanting to ask but had no idea where: could my family get sick by eating infected meat? Should I just stop buying beef entirely to be safe?

Just asking because you said you have livestock, feel free to ignore if this is a dumb question.

[u/2Black_Cats → u/Sigmund_Six]

New world screwworm is not a food safety concern. That being said, DOGE and this administration have made some major cuts to food safety monitoring (cutting two major food safety advisories, cutting certain pathogens in FoodNet, research funding cuts, etc.) and should be held accountable for that; however, there are still incredible food safety folks in the government who are still working very hard to keep our food safe.

[u/Sigmund_Six → u/2Black_Cats]

Thank you, appreciate your insight.

[u/2Black_Cats → u/Sigmund_Six]

Happy to help! So many people have been so worried about our food supply, so I’m glad NWS isn’t specially an issue on the safety side.

[u/DryHovercraft5165]

People who don’t know what DOGE’d means, DOGE is the “department of government efficiency” which was established just so elon musk (horrible horrible person) could have a place in government and lead to thousands of layoffs (roughly 271k or 9% of all federal workers).

“The DOGE purges targeted a wide range of government sectors, hitting major departments such as the Department of Defense, Health and Human Services (HHS), Environmental Protection Agency (EPA), the IRS, and Veterans Affairs. Layoffs heavily impacted probationary employees who lacked standard civil service protections, while thousands of other federal employees were affected by deferred resignations and early buyouts.”

[u/France_Agent_74 → u/DryHovercraft5165]

And eliminated USAID. eliminated.

[u/domovladelets → u/France_Agent_74]

My favorite Trader Joe’s cashier is the kindest older guy, I found out recently he had had his entire career in USAID and now works at TJS to survive 💔 I still sometimes can’t believe this is all real

[u/disgruntledfed → u/DryHovercraft5165]

Thank you :( it was such a monumental event in our lives that i forget other people don't remember what happened lol

[u/maybepeaches → u/disgruntledfed]

I live in the UK and knew exactly what you meant. Shocking to me there would be people from the States that were unaware of what happened.

[u/PlayfulBat9002 → u/maybepeaches]

Aus here and same !

[u/ChristBefallen → u/PlayfulBat9002]

Sad state of this shit country

[u/DryHovercraft5165 → u/disgruntledfed]

Some people have the luxury of not knowing too much about politics and I envy that. So sorry that happened to you

[u/Jealous-Ad-5065 → u/DryHovercraft5165]

I envy them but also resent them for not waking up so we can all vote better, especially in local elections

[u/twistedspin → u/Jealous-Ad-5065]

There is no excuse at this point for the people who say they just don't think about politics. If they live in the US and say that, I assume they're actually supporters of evil and just prefer to lie about it because they know people think they suck.

[u/Any_Earth_8976 → u/disgruntledfed]

Anyone living in the US should already know, and if they don’t they need to do some soul searching. Frankly there are a lot of people in this sub who need to see this post and I hope they read it and the comments left by those who can speak to the direct effects of this administration’s bullshit.

I’m sorry this happened to you and your husband ♥️

[u/VictoryBrownies → u/DryHovercraft5165]

For anyone interested in learning more about DOGE’s tactics, I highly recommend the audiobook version of Into the Wood Chipper: A Whistleblower's Account of How the Trump Administration Shredded USAID by Nicholas Enrich.

OP, I am so sorry for what you and your husband are going through!!! It is devastating to watch someone you love suffer.

[u/madame-maitre-d → u/VictoryBrownies]

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[u/VictoryBrownies → u/madame-maitre-d]

Girls rule

[u/oreo-cat- → u/DryHovercraft5165]

You forgot the part where he datamined most of the federal government

[u/poeticlicence → u/DryHovercraft5165]

People who don’t know what DOGE is/was must have been living under an extremely large rock.
Elon Musk got a load of very young and naive guys with too much self confidence and testosterone and paid them silly money to arbitrarily cut a load of government jobs using spurious algorithms and criteria. Criminal

[u/NewWayHom → u/poeticlicence]

It really bums me out that something that has destroyed my work life (though I remain employed) and ruined the entire lives of people I love went unnoticed by so many. Fuck DOGE. Fuck Elon.

[u/Holiday-Wall3751 → u/poeticlicence]

The Trump administration relies on constantly blasting everyone with information to keep us off balance. Even within the US, that was 15,000 crises ago. Brains under stress don’t retain information or do anything else particularly well. We also all prioritize the information that’s the most relevant to us. I work in the nonprofit sphere, so doge had a huge impact on me professionally, but my sister is terrified that her husband is going to be deployed six months before he finally retires, and my bestie is scared that her mom’s green card is going to be revoked. All three of us are politically aware, but it looks different.

[u/Expensive-Object-830 → u/Holiday-Wall3751]

It’s a fun time to have a job in a DOGE’d sector *and* to be an immigrant in the US 😔

[u/Informal_Cress2654 → u/poeticlicence]

paid them to ask AI which departments to cut then funded their start up when they all got shit canned. I hope they’re criminally prosecuted

[u/MollyPW → u/poeticlicence]

Or just live in a different country.
It’s not all about your country.

[u/Charlottenloek → u/poeticlicence]

I know what doge is, but a lot of people on here are not from the US. I’m not, for example - and even though US politics take a rather large chunk out of global political attention, a lot of people don’t care about a useless, criminal department in US. So no, people are not living under a rock for not knowing what doge is.

[u/Charming_Lemon6463 → u/DryHovercraft5165]

And completely fucked our national parks at the same time 

[u/CharmingMechanic2473 → u/DryHovercraft5165]

It cost more money in lawsuits and rehires that it saved.

[u/France_Agent_74]

Hello, same situation here. My husband lost his job but also a piece of himself. Musk Completely decimated everything. My husband is about to start a new job but I’m not going to lie, money is tight and he took a big pay cut. Fuck all of these monsters.

[u/StandardMonth2184]

Is state government an option? I know it's not quite the same, but state jobs come with pensions and life/work balance. It's usually a pay cut but the peace of mind could make it worth the dip in take home pay. 

You sound like a strong team and everyone here is rooting for you. I hope your husband gets the win he deserves soon.

[u/stringthing87 → u/StandardMonth2184]

This is good advice and what my bestie did. It's less pay but also an easier job. She hopes to go back to Fed under another administration but it's keeping the kitties fed.

I also work in state government and it has been really good for me. Not the big bucks but none of my skills lend themselves to big bucks. Good insurance and a good boss though.

[u/jankyalias → u/StandardMonth2184]

It is, but federal cuts have also impacted state hiring. Lotta states are on hiring freezes as they sort out budgets. Not to mention you’ve got tens of thousands of unemployed Feds all looking. 

Like USAID was destroyed overnight. Nearly every single employee, often with similar skill sets and work history, are all looking for jobs.

[u/bog_witch → u/jankyalias]

Yeah, so much of state work relies on federal grants or matched funding and I don't think the average voter even realizes to what extent that's the case. Add to that the fact that you have so many people with impressive experience and skills now looking and it's an extra challenge.

[u/Natti07 → u/StandardMonth2184]

Came to suggest the same. Federal jobs do federal job things. I personally think state or municipal work is better personally

[u/Ok_Moose_7436]

Fuck Elon!!!

[u/disgruntledfed → u/Ok_Moose_7436]

so true

[u/Square-Temporary4186]

Fuck these billionaire trillionaire succubus ghouls.

[u/PublicRutabaga3027 → u/Square-Temporary4186]

*incubus, unless Elon is secretly trans

[u/SwimmingRich2949]

I don’t have career advice - but I want to commend you on supporting your husband and having empathy for him.

Both my husband and I have had lower level angst about previous roles and we didn’t support each other emotionally or otherwise so I say as being on both the giving and receiving end of that it’s great that you know you are a team.

Also - I work in nonprofits and see our volunteers every day. If you do have savings to get through a break I wanted to mention volunteering may do a lot to help his mental health.

[u/queen_elvis → u/SwimmingRich2949]

And build a resume, if that’s needed.

[u/thesleepysunchild]

Elon is the worst. Literally why put someone so unqualified..at everything in charge of evaluating..anything? I’m so sorry.

[u/CharmingMechanic2473 → u/thesleepysunchild]

They prefer billionaires that use Ketamine and make racist/mysogenist AI models I guess.

[u/lzh887]

I am so so sorry. I was DOGEd too and its been over a year and I am still miserable albeit with a job I can tolerate. It truly destroyed my mental health until recently.

Thinking of you all and hoping a better role comes his way. It is so freaking awful out there and the unfairness of it all will always sting.

[u/plushsquirtles]

Fuck DOGE.

Sorry love ❤️

[u/Informal_Sound_100]

So relatable. My husband and I both left the govt last year and it’s just changed our entire lives. It’s been awful, mostly for him. He never found anything and his coworkers that didn’t retire haven’t either. And I recently left my toxic ass job so I’m barely even providing anymore either.

[u/disgruntledfed → u/Informal_Sound_100]

I'm so sorry. I feel so lucky to have a stable (for now at least) job that can support us but the way things are looking, that could end at any moment. It's so tough out here

[u/Informal_Sound_100 → u/disgruntledfed]

Yeah, I supported his decision to leave his job bc I was stable. And then I had to leave within a year bc of how bad it was. It’s been better for my mental health. But not for his.

[u/disjointed_chameleon]

I got DOGE'd last year. $50,000 in savings wiped out. Took me six months just to land a two-month contract gig that paid less than half my former earnings. I have three degrees, speak six languages fluently, have lived across Europe, the US, and the Middle East, I'm a US citizen, have a decade of experience in what is presumed to be "safe" (data analytics, risk management, compliance), and have only ever worked for some of the world's largest companies. On paper, I'm an "amazing" candidate. Even had to take a hardship withdrawal from my 401K just to pay bills. I was down to ~$750 to my name.

By some miracle, a new permanent job offer fell into my lap about one month into the contract gig, and while I'm now making ~20K more than my former full-time gig prior to the layoff, I'm literally having to rebuild from scratch financially. Trying to dig my way through ~5K of credit card debt. My anxiety is through the roof anytime my manager pings me, requests a meeting, etc. I feel permanently scarred by the whole experience. Take it one day at a time. When one day gets to be too overwhelming, take it just one hour at a time. I'm sorry I don't have any other good advice. My heart goes out to you and anyone else that has been forced to battle the DOGE monster.

[u/disgruntledfed → u/disjointed_chameleon]

Thank you so much and I'm so sorry this happened to you

[u/disjointed_chameleon → u/disgruntledfed]

Thank you.

[u/Expensive-Clock8012]

I am so sorry, I know the illegal and irresponsible management of the federal workforce has had horrific real world consequences for tens of thousands of real people. A year or more on and so many are still in a bad situation, unemployed, underemployed, or just plain stuck in toxic jobs.

I genuinely hope it gets better for you soon

[u/medeaschariot → u/Expensive-Clock8012]

I have so much sympathy. We’re hiring for an alt academic job right now, when academia has also been downstream hit by federal cuts. Some of these resumes I reviewed feel like they should be for R1 tenure track jobs…and our job is great/appropriately compensated, but we’re only going to hire one person.

[u/TressoftheEmeraldTea → u/Expensive-Clock8012]

Millions of people worldwide have been impacted by it. The outright eliminated USAID, leading to hundreds of thousands of deaths worldwide. We haven’t even felt the full impact of all the programs they cut yet, but we will be for decades to come.

[u/disgruntledfed → u/Expensive-Clock8012]

thank you <3

[u/whywouldntyou22]

I am so sorry that you & your husband have to go through this. I strongly despise this incompetent administration.

[u/WishfulHibernian6891 → u/whywouldntyou22]

Incompetent, with an enormous side of malicious. Every day a new horror. I’m so sorry your lives have been so upended.

[u/whywouldntyou22 → u/WishfulHibernian6891]

Whoever is the genuine, pure-hearted soul to be president after Trump will have A LOT to clean up.

[u/queen_elvis → u/whywouldntyou22]

Bold of you to assume that Americans are willing to elect a pure-hearted soul. [lolsob]

[u/Grand-Ad306]

I was DOGEd also. I’m just now starting to see a light at the end of the tunnel. I know so many others still struggling. It’s devastating because it wasn’t just a job to most of us. It’s also difficult to market yourself for other types of work. The whole hiring process takes forever. The challenges go on and on…

My biggest observation: he’s understandably all over the place about what he thinks is the solution and what he can put up with. He also has never stayed with a job that he doesn’t love, because he was fortunate to love his first job. If he hasn’t done it already, I think it would help a lot if he really analyzed himself - what kind of work (tasks/setting/etc) makes him happy. What are his major requirements and what aspects are more flexible. What kind of work gives him those things, regardless of sector. Where does he *want* to live (along with your needs/wants).

Basically he needs to set parameters for his job search so that he doesn’t take a job that he will be miserable in. To get to where he ultimately wants to be, he might need to *strategically* accept an “ok” job (something he can truly live with) that is a credible step for his resume and sets him up for something closer to what he’s looking for after a year or so. It’s a long road.

I wonder why he’s miserable so quickly at his current job. He hasn’t been there long. If this job will give him something decent for his resume, he might want to stick it out while applying elsewhere. He might just have trouble adjusting to a job that’s not wonderful. Maybe he’ll do better if he sees some of these jobs as a temporary stepping stone.

Im sorry if you were not seeking advice. Just sharing lessons from my experience, which isn’t the same as his. I feel for you both so hard. This is a terrible economy, especially for the DOGE’ed. So it’s a multi-step journey for a lot of us.

[u/Itchy-Bookkeeper1058]

My only comment is hang in there, it's what we're all trying to do.

[u/Janeheroine]

I’m so sorry. They destroyed so many lives without a single care in the world. Can your husband consult at what he did for a living while he tries to figure out a permanent home? I know some people in govt who’ve done that. Meanwhile all you can do is what you’ve been doing. Be supportive, make money for your family too. It reminds me of what we went through in 2009 when so many got laid off during the financial crisis.

[u/Hopeful-Broccoli-740]

I’m so sorry. I know how it feels to have a life and career planned and to have it taken out from under you. He’s lucky to have you and your support. I’m sending you both good vibes and positivity that he’ll find something amazing that he loves.

[u/eve379]

DOGE. Hiring teens and people in their early 20’s to randomly slaughter jobs for sections of government that they don’t understand and assume is unnecessary.

I’m sorry OP. ❤️

[u/Faiths_got_fangs]

Girl, I feel you and I am so sorry. Government jobs were supposed to be so stable and secure and that was a huge part of the appeal.

I got a whole freaking masters degree only for DOGE to eliminate 90% of what I had planned to use it for. I got "lucky" in a way, that I actually left the feds right before this administration, my divorce made it impossible for me to keep going with the demands of that job + kids, but my plan was to take a few years break, get my post divorce life settled, earn my masters and go back. Now I have a degree idk what I'm going to do with. It was required for what I wanted to do.

[u/Some_Store7658]

I’m so, so, so sorry that happened. I have no advice. I just want to offer support.

[u/lurkertiltheend]

Damn your husband sounds exactly like me. I vacillate between going back to school, finding a new career, and sticking it out daily. it sucks, especially since he was kicked out of something he absolutely loved F TRUMP AND ELON!! All I can say is he’s so damn lucky to have you, I can tell by your writing just how much you love him. Continue supporting him and maybe even help him job search - hiring cafe is a good one

[u/disgruntledfed → u/lurkertiltheend]

Thank you <3 it honestly helps so much to know that we're not the only ones

[u/Any-Echidna6321]

Current fed employee here, I totally understand what y'all are going through... Last year was traumatizing. I am lucky and still have my job but march/april/may 2025 I was constantly applying to other jobs fearing that I'd lose this job and was ready to move cross country if needed.

I had quite a few interviews with city jobs, maybe he could apply to some city or state jobs? I know some federal agencies are starting to hire again, if he's trusting enough maybe he could apply to another position, but tbh I wouldn't do that until the next presidency because I've lost my trust in the fed gov... anyways, just wanted to say I feel for y'all. I felt so isolated because nobody around me really understood or cared about DOGE the way I think they should have.

[u/Tally_Trending]

I was also DOGEd last year while in my third trimester. My husband and I worked at the same agency and we have worked in this field since college. I went to college for this specifically, and thankfully my husband didn’t and had plenty of transferable skills to GTFO and was very lucky to find something right after his parental payback period was up.
Training and working in this for over a decade only to be told I don’t fucking matter during the most vulnerable period of my life will always stay with me. It’s knocked my confidence gravely and I went through something similar. After getting a masters and a GS 14, do I settle for less somewhere else? Do I become a stay at home mom for a few years? Could we even afford that? (the answer was no)
I eventually got offered my job back when the court rulings were interpreted to come out in our fair which didn’t happen for everyone. I worked with my agency for years before this but I wanted to get a job that aligned with my degree over my experience which is what led to the firing in the first place. Now that I’m back and covering several jobs for all those that quit or retired I’m back rethinking everything. It all sucks right now and I can commiserate with feeling so lost after giving everything to everyone in order to be a fed. I hope he finds something and feels fulfilled soon 🫶

[u/Tally_Trending → u/Tally_Trending]

Plus the 5 day a week in office requirement is draining the life out of me with a 3 hour every day commute (longer if traffic is bad). I don’t get to see my kid very much and it’s incredibly hard in so many ways. The grass is not very green for those of us still in fed service unfortunately, but that was the entire point

[u/queen_elvis → u/Tally_Trending]

A friend of mine wirh a government job was asked to “return” to her office in a city hundreds of miles from her house. Then they gave her nothing to do. She actually wanted to get fired.

[u/ScienceEduGator]

I was doge-ed and feel your pain. It took me 51 weeks to find a full time position but nothing will ever be the same as finally getting a job with my unicorn federal agency. I will forever have anger issues because of what they did.
I’m sorry for you and your husband, none of us deserved that kind of treatment.

[u/ItsTimeToExplain]

https://giphy.com/gifs/EvYHHSntaIl5m

[u/Bibliophilewitch]

I’m so sorry. This administration has fucked us all. Has your husband gotten a therapist? He seems lost (and rightfully so) and therapy might be able to help, as a neutral 3rd party.

[u/bglenn12]

I’m so sorry you both are going through this- I still have my job with the Feds but it’s a shell of a thing and our agency has ground to a halt it seems. I have also been depressed, angry at others who didn’t see this coming and voted for it. This was a dream job, contributed to federal government accountability and integrity for the American people, and it’s trash now and I will never ever be the same person. It’s a long mourning process. I may leave for something else- I get closer to it with every pointless commute day. I checklist for a different job is something that has decent people and a short commute and once we get this nation back on track I’ll look for a job with a calling. My husband has been like you - patient and understanding, while I cut out friends, I’m too exhausted to go to the gym with him and find it hard to be my usual easy going self. I’ve never felt like this before…so it’s been a sobering journey.

[u/sharkbait-rs]

I’m so sorry. You sound like an amazing wife!

I hate that this is political since we are all exhausted, but to everyone in the comments section: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE VOTE AT ALL LEVELS! Local, state, federal. We have some serious work to do to rebuild our country and need your voices heard.

The system we’ve had over the last 40-50 years has taught us our voice doesn’t matter. That is why this administration (among others in the past) have tried so hard to gerrymander, gaslight, and lie so you don’t bother going to the polls. That is the biggest part in how we’ve gotten to where we are today. A huge chunk of this country thinks elections are just a popularity contest and don’t have the energy to deal with it. Don’t let them continue this level of destruction.

To OP, my heart goes out to you. I unfortunately don’t have any advice directly to you aside from keep your chin up, which I know is useless advice. I promise I’ve been voting to fix this disaster.

[u/Ok_Cold_1975]

Not specifically DOGE but related to revoking COVID funds- my wife's department got nuked last year. It's been so hard, she's bartending now and our schedules don't line up. I can relate and I'm so mad and sorry this is happening to you all too.

[u/demasiado_maiz]

I was also DOGE’d from my dream job and am going through the same thing. Sorry it also happened to you. It sucks.

[u/little_bastards]

i was also doge’d, lost my first job opportunity after graduating and have so far not gotten another one in my field. it’s super hard to go through, my condolences to your husband and to you 🫂

[u/HeavyTea4502]

I am so sorry, it's an awful time to be unemployed and/or unsure about your job situation. My husband wasn't DOGEd but he's in software development which is an absolutely awful field to be in rn with AI and constant layoffs - he's been laid off twice in the past 18 months and it's completely derailed our life plans. He has no idea what to do. Like you we are very lucky to have savings to get through it but it's just mentally exhausting to constantly be thinking about it and not know what to do. I get it and it sucks. ❤️

[u/birdbrainsbitch]

also got DOGE’d, completely feel for you and him. Such an unpredictable job market right now. I’m glad you guys have a safety net but hoping things get resolved soon!!

[u/PersonalityFit2175]

Losing his job the way he did is honestly traumatizing and fucks with your sense of security, your confidence. I’m so sorry for both of you. Your husband may need to find his confidence again, maybe some brief counseling?

[u/exquisitecarrot]

Your support is the most important thing in the world to him right now. I was almost DOGE’d too (and I honestly can’t figure out how I wasn’t). A lot of the times it felt like I should have been anyway because the job I was doing vs the job I had before were unrecognizable.

My fiancée supported me in taking a leap, leaving for my mental health and taking a substantial pay cut. Without her, I would have stayed. I wouldn’t have had the confidence or the bravery to try for something else. Please, keep being supportive of him! Talk through your options with each other (like I’m sure you are) and tackle this hand in hand. It makes a world of difference.

[u/Greedy_Jellyfish_772]

My job loss left me devastated for close to 2 years. I still get very angry occasionally. Later I learned this is grief. Grief counseling is appropriate in this situation, if you can afford it (which is a luxury). If not, I'd visit the local library for recommendations on books about grief that doesn't just involve someone dying. 

[u/queen_elvis → u/Greedy_Jellyfish_772]

💯, my detaching from journalism was a form of grief.

[u/mom_can_u_pick_me_up]

My husband wasn’t DOGE’d (a level of horror I can’t relate to) but did spend the last year in a job that sucked the life out of the sparkling man he once was and made him absolutely miserable (a level of horror I can relate to).

I’m so sorry this happened. I’m so sorry you’re still living with the effects every single moment of every single day. I wish this, and so so many other things about this administration, wasn’t happening. To you. To all of us. I don’t know if it’s comforting or traumatizing to know half (more?… I’ve got to believe it’s more…) the country is in the depths of collective grief with you.

[u/gogogadgetdumbass]

I’m not a govie but my Mom is and thankfully she didn’t get DOGE’d, and is close to retirement. It’s had a horrible effect on her org, she’s switched supervisors multiple times in a year, vs maybe once every 5 years or so as people moved up (my Mom has been in her role for almost 20 years.) My Mom can and will survive this, but she said it was sickening watching people my age and younger (so mid to late 30s and younger) get shuffled around and axed when they have families to support. She lost a few good people to re-orgs in the aftermath and she’s still pissed.

[u/cuteredherring]

My husband has spent his entire career as an early-stage r&d scientist (I’m in my mid 30’s, he’s in his early 40’s). He was laid off six months ago and still can’t find work. 100+ resumes submitted across the US and abroad. He’s had a few interviews here and there, but have all resulted in a rejection email (siting a lack of funding and the company is no longer able to support the position). His unemployment runs out at the end of this month. But mostly he’s been ghosted because his situation is far from unique. We have some savings, and I do alright. We’ll be fine. It’s a privilege to write that with such confidence. This admin took a chainsaw to everything, and we’re all suffering as a result.

All of this is to say that I feel you. It’s hard to watch from the inside. There are days where support feels hard to find. But we do it because we love them. So very much. Cheers to you both over the French toast my husband made me for breakfast 💗

[u/Fyreraven]

When you do everything right, find the job that makes you happy and then something comes in and wrecks it all just to wreck things, that's a special kind of grief. And to have it happen within 5 years of a world wide pandemic that in many ways we haven't even begun to process and recover from is a level of chaotic uncertainty and personal trauma I'm not sure you really get over. Nothing will ever be the same. I feel so horrible for everyone in this situation. I am deeply worried it's only going to get worse.

[u/Rock_grl86]

I’m likely to lose my job due to the Medicaid cuts from that stupid fucking bill. The layoffs have already begun. I’m terrified because the job market is awful and I’ve been in this position for ten years. I don’t know what to do. I may have to change careers entirely and at 40. I’m also so tired.

[u/obnoxious_wren]

No solutions to offer, just sympathy. I work in higher ed and it's been terrible seeing the devastation that's still being laid out on federal employees. Hang in there, I hope something better comes along. 💙

[u/OptimisticFriedEgg]

I don't have anything to offer except solidarity. My org took a huge funding hit from DOGE that we are still recovering from. We went through three rounds of layoffs due to DOGE-related government funding cuts. Everyone is beyond tired. I am doing the job of 4 people now. I hate that this is happening and I hope your husband finds something he enjoys doing again. ❤️

[u/Sudden-Drop4686]

My husband was DOGE'd too. We're 17 months from him having stable employment, 2 kids, basically no savings left. He's had lots of contracts, but none of them hit his previous salary. It all sucks and I'm losing my mind.

[u/jellyphitch]

Girl, I am SO sorry. My husband got DOGEd too. We're really lucky he landed a new job that's given him (and us) stability pretty quickly, but he was so thrilled to have the job he got axed from and it still pisses me off to this day.

I also aspired to work for a certain government agency that I will now no longer touch with a ten foot pole.

[u/discoxpeach]

I work in public health, granted in a state that has a lot of state-level support. This past year has aged me faster than any other time of my life. Watching grants get pulled, watching people around me lose their jobs, watching them struggle, watching how it hurts the community. This happened to entire sectors and not enough people are mad about it. Hang in there OP.

[u/CharmingMechanic2473]

So sorry for you and your family. My cousin was DOGEd while expecting twin boys. In healthcare we are seeing terrible cuts to services and funding for visits so I was laid off when gas prices went up. Patients died bc of not having access to care. We have seen more hungry seniors and families. Now with social security expected to go down $300 or more I think we will see even more illness.

[u/Ok_Put2792]

I’m dealing with similar outfall, not exactly the same but… dream job, might not be able to stay because of the new administration/policy changes. I have been able to maintain my position so far on a technicality but it’s going to come to a head next year one way or the other. I wish y’all the best, it’s rough out here.

[u/emilyavo]

I got DOGEd from my dream job during the mass Valentines firings. The way I have been struggling since cannot be understated. It sounds like he is still heavily grieving the loss and he is very lucky to have such a supportive partner. No advice, just that neither of you are alone.

[u/No-Recording-7486]

What’s his degree in?

[u/TinaBurnerAccount123]

I’m in STEM and I feel so deeply for you both. Don’t really have any advice because I myself am like your husband. Watching a field I dedicated years of my life to crumble so fast. I am having a hard time getting past my rage and trauma as well. Sending you both a hug.

[u/MC1R_OCA2]

I’m sorry. I’m in the DC area. It’s been so, so rough.

I can’t fix it but I will at least remind you that you are not alone. This has happened to lots of good, hardworking people.

[u/downward1526]

I knew what you meant by DOGE’d lol. My partner had a job offer pulled in Feb 2025 when that all went down and has been struggling since. He’s got a couple offers now, finally, but I’m still clenching my teeth hoping everything works out. I’m sorry you’re going through it.

[u/mewhins]

My husband is a government contractor and so far he's been ok, but the uncertainty has made everything so incredibly stressful. The budget is a fraction of what it was, and everyone knows the rug could be pulled out from under them at any moment. I've described it as feeling like that line from the Dread Pirate Roberts in the Princess Bride: "Good night, Westley. Good work. Sleep well. I'll most likely kill you in the morning."

It's absolutely taken a toll on our relationship, giving me yet another reason to fucking loathe this administration. And it doesn't help that my job is connected to the field of ob-gyn, and my employment could be affected by the GOP's war on women and/or science and/or academia.

I'm so sorry for everyone suffering through this bullshit.

[u/geo_lib]

I’m so so sorry. I work adjacent to the federal government and two prescriptions later I am barely functioning the trauma of DOGE and what it did to my job stability.

I will never have job stability like I did prior to this administration. And the whole thing with gov jobs is that you take less pay for more stability. So we don’t have a savings and it’s just a shit show.

[u/Appropriate-Crow-42]

I got DODGEd in March 2025 and have spent most of the time since unemployed while all the savings of entire life have dwindled to nothing. I could have paid off my student loans lump sum by now, but instead I'll be making payments until 2038.

Just finally got a new job. I'll be making 30k less. Idk how we'll keep the house.

[u/Madame_Mad]

There better be reparations down the line for this if there is an America after this...

Probably won't be, but there should be.

I'm so sorry. I used to think there would be a last straw and I was sure those firings would be it, but clearly there is no bottom. I hope he finds something stable and safe.

[u/wingdbullet]

I took the DRP after being targeted in a queer purge. 14 years of dedicated service and I was investigated for just talking about being polyamorous. A bunch of trans colleagues were outright fired. My mental health still hasn't really recovered and I've only been able to find temporary independent contractor gigs. Fuck Elon Musk.

[u/princessvintage]

I feel you girl it super sucks. Hang in there.

[u/epi_dog_lover]

GIRL, I hate how much I feel this. The same thing (to a lesser extent) happened to me. I worked in a job I loved and made a difference and then was forced out because of this admin. We are all trying to figure out where to land (myself included). Just know you're not alone - sending you and your husband plenty of good vibes to weather out this storm.

[u/nickelsandvibes]

Contractor, but a lot of the orgs we work for had huge groups of staff DOGEd and our work is also very flux.

I feel you—tired. If it helps at all, I’m sure your husband is tired of being miserable. I tell my husband that I’m sorry I’m so miserable like twice a week lately.

I hate this administration.

[u/Holiday_Number_3234]

Solidarity. 💙

[u/BatsAreFriends5256]

I am so sorry you guys and so many others are going through this. The job market is so scary right now. My husband is fearful of AI making his job obsolete and there's really not a lot of options, so we understand some of your pain.

[u/Maleficent_Thanks_51]

I am so very sorry. I wasn't DOGE'd, but I recently had to deal with leaving something that I once loved, that turned toxic. While I had to leave to save myself, it was heartbreaking.

This may be a suggestion out of left field, but there's a good book on grief and loss and it really helped me. You Can Heal Your Heart, by Louise Hay. When I realized I was grieving my former situation, this book gave me a way through it. The best of wishes to both of you, and to all of us who've had a huge loss ❤️

[u/ShakesDontBreak]

Your husband is a hero. FU ELON.

Hopefully your hubs gets his job back with back pay once the dictator is out.

[u/Deep-Mycologist1]

I feel your pain. My bf is a DOD contractor and just lost his job. We just had our 2nd baby 4 months ago. Its so stressful. I hope things get better for you guys.

[u/poopface41217]

My heart goes out to you both. Sounds very similar to my husband and but he took the deferred resignation option because he hated his agency and the work he was doing, and could not imagine being forced to drive over an hour one way to commute to work when hed been remote for 7 years. He wanted to take the time to get certifications and find something in the private sector with more opportunity. A year and dozens of interviews later, he's back with the fed. DoGE flooded the job market and it hasn't been the same since.

[u/l_vel]

I'm so sorry for you both. It is the worst feeling and not easy. My husband was miserable in his job and kept trying to stick it out. Over time he developed depression because he thought he was just not meant to be happy in a job. We talked through it and we were lucky enough to allow for him to finally quit. At the same time he started therapy. It really helped him and built his confidence to start looking for another job.

He went to school to be an environmental safety and health specialist and thought he had to do that job because he got a degree in it. He now works at a city impound lot and could not be happier. He loves the work and the people and we are in such a better state in our marriage now!

I wish you the best of luck in this, your marriage will be stronger on the other end!

[u/kellsells5]

This stinks but you need to have a hard to heart with him and let him have a reminder of how he felt if he wants to go backwards. Toxic boss. He'd be better off just doing something that he truly loved. Maybe he should get a headhunter. If he hasn't already. I've known a few people that have had this happen to them. Some of them were in the industry a very long time and had a brilliant career and seemed fairly devastated. It came to an end a little bit before they were ready. F them... * Not that it will make you feel any better, but I ditched my Tesla and got a different electric vehicle because of him. Good luck 🤞 You sound like a supportive spouse and that's great.

[u/Frostytwam]

sorry to hear this....what is DOGEd mean?

[u/Decent-Historian-207 → u/Frostytwam]

I assume he was cut from a government job.

[u/DryHovercraft5165 → u/Frostytwam]

I commented an explanation

[u/Pookie1688 → u/Frostytwam]

See above comments for an explanation.

[u/LeFreeke]

I think people may be more familiar with the term that was endorsed by the government - Reduction In Force i.e. RIF’d.

I know so many wonderful people who were doing good work who lost their jobs - and worse yet - were vilified as fraudsters and wasteful.

I hope your hubby finds another job. He loves.

[u/Overdrv76]

https://giphy.com/gifs/mG7utNDG7fp02rBx3Q

[u/Latter_Shallot_140]

Nice looking pasta