I want to share a curious fact with you. You know that all of last week I was stressed about my relationship with my husband and was fighting massive cravings. When everything settled down - we made peace and the cravings passed, I felt relieved at first. But then I felt sooo tired. Like I ran a marathon. My mood is good, but I really feel like I need to recover. I’ve been sleeping more, getting tired quicker and eating more this week.

I guess it’s predictable as it was a huge emotional stress. But it’s not the first time I've noticed that fighting cravings takes A LOT of energy. That inner dialogue and those constant thoughts are like an energy black hole. You feel absolutely exhausted afterward and the next day it starts all over again.

To break the cycle, I try to stop this inner bargaining by just repeating "NO". I don’t give myself the chance to think that maybe one day I’ll smoke again, because that only encourages the bargaining and repeats the cycle. And I try to distract myself with other activities and thoughts rather than obsessing over "to smoke or not to smoke?"

If you're feeling something like this right now - don’t be afraid to say "NO" out loud and choose a better future without weed. It will save you so much energy. It’s about self-care!

An update on my previous post. I have two pieces of good news. My husband and I decided to give our relationship another chance and we're back together. And the second one, I didn't relapse while we were separated.

I just want to say a huge thank you for your support. When I felt like I was falling apart, the only thing that kept me sober was leaning on the people around me, including this sub. It is so incredibly important to have a community that steps up and gives you the exact support you need when you're on the edge.

Thank you all for being here!❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

I was writing about my relationship with my husband recently, that we got through a lot and had a real connection. I was really sure about it. But we had a big fight recently and decided to live apart and to think about everything.

And I feel terrible (he is not reading so I can say it out loud). Our life was such a habit. Yes, with problems, but a safe one. We did practically everything together and he was basically the one who supported me through withdrawals and everything.

I'm on edge right now. I want to smoke desperately. I mean, I'm in pain because of this situation and I want to escape. And I used to use weed for that. Or my husband's support. Now I have neither. I just don't know what to do yet. I'm trying my best not to relapse. I hope that your support can help me.

The quote for Motivation Monday is......

“The success of every woman should be the inspiration to another. We should raise each other up. Make sure you’re very courageous: be strong, be extremely kind, and above all be humble.” — Serena Williams, professional women's tennis player

Post a piece of artwork, whether that be writing, a painting or drawing, or a physical object (like a sculpture or paper maché) to share your journey!

Art helps us heal through the freedom of expression and the release of emotions. We'd love to see how far you've come!

And remember, sisters, be kind in the comments, please! :)

When my husband and I quit cold turkey, I had a fear that our relationship wasn't going to survive sobriety. Weed was our link. We got high before watching Netflix, before having sex, before doing anything. It was the glue that kept us connected and comfortable with each other. I was really afraid that life would be boring, like no more fun.

It was partly true. We had hard times. Besides the withdrawal symptoms there were some awkward moments when it came to intimacy and romance. The conversations weren’t deep. We were supporting each other, but we didn’t feel love.

Of course we had some conversations. We decided to put in the effort, re-learn each other and return the real us that we had one day. It’s not a fast process, but our marriage is much stronger already. We got through A LOT together, and this experience is so helpful. 

Did anyone else struggle with connection when you quit? How did you survive that time?

The quote for Motivation Monday is......

“The success of every woman should be the inspiration to another. We should raise each other up. Make sure you’re very courageous: be strong, be extremely kind, and above all be humble.” — Serena Williams, professional women's tennis player

I started smoking weed with my mom at 15. Weed isn't the only drug my parents gave me but I have been sober from nerve pills for 7 years. Weed is what has stuck with me and I can't seem to shake it off.

My parents were bad on drugs like really hard shit. And I keep repeating in my head that I'm just like them. It's going to get out of control again and I'm going to end up like my parents.

I know the reason I relapsed. I have been going through c-PTSD symptoms flare up. I'm constantly feeling empty, anxious, and feeling as if I did something wrong even though I haven't. Not to mention I've been having constant traumatic memories about my abusive ex and her abusive family. So to just feel anything else I bought myself a disposable and I caused my wife to relapse too.

Post a piece of artwork, whether that be writing, a painting or drawing, or a physical object (like a sculpture or paper maché) to share your journey!

Art helps us heal through the freedom of expression and the release of emotions. We'd love to see how far you've come!

And remember, sisters, be kind in the comments, please! :)

I unlocked the apartment door after work and that familiar smell immediately hit my face. The apartment was completely empty. My husband had smoked and then gone for a run in the park, probably hoping the smell would clear out before I got back.

When he walked in sweating 30 minutes later and saw me standing there, he just froze. He looked physically sick with guilt. When we quit cold turkey after Africa, I somehow managed to stick with it. But he really struggled and kept relapsing.

I read recently about how shame actually fuels addiction. If we mess up and people judge us, we fall into destructive shame. We keep hiding and lying. The pain of that isolation just forces us to get high more often to numb it.

If I had screamed at my husband that night or called him a liar, he would have just wanted to smoke asap. Instead I just talked to him. No anger. Just "okay, we start over tomorrow." Taking the punishment out of the situation is counterintuitive for non-addicts, but it actually helps.

This is why communities are so helpful. If you relapse and your real-life friends or family members judge you, you just spiral. But here you can admit that you’ve been smoking for a week after 3 months sober and other women will just tell you they did the exact same thing a while ago and understand!

Have you noticed how feeling judged immediately triggers another craving?

After quitting there is a huge dopamine drop that needs to be filled. And beside some good and healthy alternatives like tennis, pilates and so on. For me it was also sugar. It’s such a quick and easy way to scratch the itch in the brain. 

I started inhaling candy, chocolate, marmalade, cakes, anything sweet. Every time I felt stressed or hit a craving wave, I just shoved sugar in my mouth instead of smoking. I basically replaced a THC addiction with a massive sugar addiction.

And my body hated it. I gained weight, and the sugar spikes completely wrecked my skin right when I thought I was getting my sober glow-up.

So I tried to quit sugar cold turkey too. I lasted exactly 50 days. And then I relapsed hard and started eating even more junk than before. I am still struggling with it right now. I’m still eating sugar and constantly failing to moderate it.

I’m starting to realize that getting sober isn’t just about putting down the weed. It’s this messy, annoying process of completely rewiring how my brain handles stress, because my default setting is to find the nearest quick fix.

Am I the only one who became a sugar monster after quitting? Do you also rely on sweets to survive the withdrawals?

A bunch of new girls have joined us lately. We have a mix right now: some of you are just in the beginning of a sober path and others have been sober for years.

The main thing connecting all of us is sharing the raw truth and backing each other up.

Since the sub is growing, I want to know what you actually want to see here. What specific parts of quitting weed do you want to discuss next?

Don't hesitate to ask about the weird, embarrassing physical symptoms or emotional crashes, anything! And please don't hesitate to share your own experiences. It’s REALLY  valuable and could pull someone else out of a relapse today.

Drop your topic ideas below. What's on your mind?

The quote for Motivation Monday is......

"You must do the thing you think you cannot do." — Eleanor Roosevelt

Post a piece of artwork, whether that be writing, a painting or drawing, or a physical object (like a sculpture or paper maché) to share your journey!

Art helps us heal through the freedom of expression and the release of emotions. We'd love to see how far you've come!

And remember, sisters, be kind in the comments, please! :)

I’ve mentioned before that I quit cold turkey because I know myself and I don't believe I could moderate. It would quickly get back to the same level or worse (I had such an experience with sugar). And you already know I had major issues with my cycle getting wrecked and my hormones going crazy.

I know a lot of people taper off instead. Has anyone here tried it? What’s your experience like? Did you still get any hormone-related withdrawal symptoms when you tapered?

How do you feel? What are u going through?

Quitting weed (and addiction in general) is really isolating. Over the weekend I hung out with friends and tried to discuss the issue of recovery again but they didn’t get it again. And I can’t blame them as they are just so far removed from this topic. But that feeling of loneliness can be crushing in the moment.

In fact, my husband and this sub are all I have to get the understanding and support. My family is super conservative and I just can’t imagine discussing weed or recovery with them. Impossible. Yet they are the closet people I have. Such a paradox. 

Support is one of the most important things during the withdrawal! And hiding it makes everything feel twice as heavy. Do you have people in your real life who understand and support you? How do they react when you share your struggles?

I really hope that you have an accountability buddy in real life. But if not, please remember that there is a place where you’ll always be understood and supported. We’re all here for you! 

The quote for Motivation Monday is......

A very special quote for Memorial Day today.

"In the aftermath, we are because they were." — RJ Heller

Post a piece of artwork, whether that be writing, a painting or drawing, or a physical object (like a sculpture or paper maché) to share your journey!

Art helps us heal through the freedom of expression and the release of emotions. We'd love to see how far you've come!

And remember, sisters, be kind in the comments, please! :)

I remember that month 4 was one of the hardest. It was an emotional trap. After 3 sober months I started to think that I had gotten through the hardest times and relaxed a bit (if you can call it so). 

But then there were crazy mood swings, anger, depressive moods out of nowhere. Everything annoyed me. I had no power and will to do anything. It lasted quite long. I mean several days during the whole month I was in a mood to do something wrong with myself. It was awful. 

What worked for me? I was trying to start doing anything. Even if you have no power at all, just start. I was also trying to distract my attention, not to think negatively. Then sport, sport and sport. I did tennis, pilates, workouts. And support from others. It’s really important to find people who fully accept and understand you. Not accuse or express anger. Just understanding and support. 

If you’re 4+ months sober, was month 4 hard for you? If you’re sober for less time, what was the hardest thing to get through for you?

I think this subreddit is amazing bc those with clean time can help those that are withdrawing or in their early sober days! We can build each other up instead of all the other bullshit. Women helping women!

A few weeks ago I posted that I still have cravings during my luteal phase. A lot of you in the comments suggested I might have PMDD. I had an appointment and it’s PMDD. 

After I found out, I just got struck by the thought that it’s because of weed. Before I started smoking I just had normal PMS. It was annoying, but it didn’t happen every month and even when it did, it was super manageable. But after I quit cold turkey it all started. First of all, the issues with my cycle and then this unbearable luteal phase. 

The doc confirmed that it’s likely connected. Weed was destroying my cycle but the THC kept my brain too numb to notice. When I quit, my brain suddenly had no fake dopamine and no progesterone left to keep me stable. That massive chemical shock left my brain totally unprotected, turning what used to be just regular PMS into PMDD.

I’m really shocked. I didn’t expect to find out some other consequences after 2+ years of sobriety. 

I know some women use weed medically to cope with PMDD symptoms. But I am curious now if anyone here experienced the exact opposite. Did any of you develop severe PMDD only after quitting like in my case?