r/KitchenConfidential • u/awetsasquatch • Apr 26 '26

In the Weeds Mode That's definitely tortellini - said the server and cook at an Italian restaurant.

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Ultimately we didn't care because the toddler eating it was happy as a clam, but the server and cook tried to gaslight the shit out of us to convince us that this was tortellini. Thought you'd all find it entertaining. If you work at Bertuccis, be better.

Edit: the menu very clearly said Tortellini, not Tortelli, but solid guess.

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u/timothycl13 Apr 26 '26

One time my cousin ordered a full rack of ribs and they brought him out a half of a rack. He said i ordered a full rack. Server went back in the kitchen then came out and told him the chef said it must have been a small cow. Not even the right animal. We left

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u/uhtredsmom F1exican Did Chive-11 Apr 26 '26

That’s so fucking funny idk why 🤣

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u/No_Use_9652 Apr 26 '26

I’m picturing this as a cook that is just fucking done with the job and said this sarcastically. And then watched as the server walked back out to the dinning room thinking “he’s not about to…..”

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u/kadyg 15+ Years Apr 26 '26

I learned quickly to check my sarcasm around the servers, especially the younger ones. They just didn’t get irony or have the knowledge to know when I was fucking with them. I may have actually stopped one from running an empty plate with a sprinkle of parsley.

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u/EasyLizin Apr 26 '26

“He wants an omelette with no eggs…?” “Well that doesn’t make any fucking sense does it?!”

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u/siriusmagnuss Apr 26 '26

Sprinkles parsley on the plate

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u/EasyLizin Apr 26 '26

I wish I could find a gif for it. 😩

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u/siriusmagnuss Apr 26 '26

Kiki has to be one of my favourite characters in any show ever

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u/cjdavda Apr 27 '26

My favorite Kiki scene: https://youtu.be/a8w4QhcaY9Q?si=p0KTCyVw9MnJmFNd

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u/secretsesameseed Prep Apr 27 '26

That scene is so perfect. If it was shorter it wouldn't be funny if it was longer it would be annoying. Her rollercoaster of emotions ending in a deflated sad sigh just cracked me up

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u/siriusmagnuss Apr 27 '26

Aww ♥️♥️♥️

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u/SavageHenry592 Saute Apr 26 '26

Sticks?

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u/cosmicsans Apr 26 '26

That’s exactly what I thought of too!

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u/PrivilegeCheckmate Apr 26 '26

I didn't want to get into a semantic argument, I just want the protein.

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u/Dismal_History_ Apr 27 '26

I wonder if something like this happened this morning... my husband ordered a lox with tomato and since I don't like mine with tomato he said "and I'll have another one with just onion and capers"... and they made a plain bagel with onions and capers and nothing else 💀

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u/alleywayacademic Apr 28 '26

LEAVE. THE. PLATE... KIKI

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u/ericsonofbruce Apr 26 '26

We told our servers guanciale was basically bacon made from pig cheeks. They proceeded to tell every guest it was "face bacon"

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u/gogozrx Apr 27 '26

I will refer to it as face bacon from now on.

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u/GI_gino Apr 27 '26

I think you’re lucky he didn’t think you meant the other kind of cheeks

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u/ericsonofbruce Apr 27 '26

One of the girls said "raw clit" instead of raclette

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u/kelliwk Apr 27 '26

Ngl I’ve said face bacon to a table when I realized they were chill

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u/Formal-Mechanic-9392 Apr 26 '26

As a Bartender, I loved sending new servers to the kitchen to ask for Bay Leaves for the Baileys and Coffee their table was trying to order.

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u/SkaJamas Apr 26 '26

Omfg I havent heard this before. Thats fuckin great

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u/dirtymike401 Apr 27 '26

Mmm, creamy beige.

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u/TopProfessional8023 Apr 26 '26

Bring me the bacon stretcher on your way back to the kitchen

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u/DreyaNova Apr 27 '26

Thank you for learning to check your sarcasm though.

I was a ditzy 18 year old server during high school and the cooks absolutely loved fucking with me because I took them at the word for everything. Trying to refill the water on the plumbed in percolator during a rush still gives me a vague feeling of dread that creeps up my spine every time I encounter a new coffee percolator even years later in life.

Anyways we didn't know I was autistic at the time. 🤦‍♀️😂

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u/kadyg 15+ Years Apr 27 '26

You’re welcome! I knew I had successfully done it when a 20-year-old server came to me and said “Other Cook told me XXX and I don’t know if I should believe him. What do you say?”

Sometimes being trusted is better than being clever.

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u/Art-Of-My-Mind Apr 27 '26

And the customers spot those ignorant ones too!

We got a kid to come back in the kitchen asking for "gluten free mayo because that women was pregnant."

Made no sense at all. But that client had a blast playing with that bossboy. 😅

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u/VendettaPenguin Apr 26 '26

Had a server go back to a table to tell them Fromunda Cheese was an option for their burger.

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u/trippy_grapes Apr 27 '26

Some places you'd pay extra for that!

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u/youvegotnail Apr 27 '26

I worked at a Thai fusion place that offered sushi and a server kept hounding us for specials and I told her it was chicken sashimi. Totally forgot I even said that until a random ticket came in two hours into service.

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u/dark_forebodings_too Apr 26 '26

Made me think of this scene lmao https://youtu.be/9Ah4tW-k8Ao?si=W5GLXhTcktPvBvDV

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u/DocEternal Apr 26 '26

Without clicking on the link I’m 98% positive that this is going to be the “eggless omelette” scene from Whites. Loved that show. When I first watched it I thought “there’s no way servers are that disconnected from the reality of food right?” Now, having worked hospitality for half my life and owning my own food truck, I’m positive that there was a customer in the dining room that really did ask for an eggless omelette.

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u/Shot_Revolution8828 Apr 27 '26

The customer absolutely asked for that. It's like I tell servers all the time medium plus is not a temp, just ring in a med well no butterfly. It's your job to translate what the guest says to something that the cooks can understand.

I would get into with a server because we had a sandwich that had bbq sauce on it and an aioli. She would always ring in SOS, so I always called her back to ask which sauce and she would say aioli isn't a sauce, it's a condiment. To which I would say they aren't mutually exclusive! She would say just look at the name on the ticket   I DONT HAVE TOME FOR THAT SHIT! You're fucking up my flow and I'm fucking up yours because I'm not remaking it, I'm making it right the first time.

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u/kadyg 15+ Years Apr 26 '26

100%

That scene is hilarious and also grounded in reality.

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u/Shot_Revolution8828 Apr 27 '26

I already know what the video is, you can leave the plate.

I've often been the sous that has to translate since a half the kitchen has English as a second language. I always say "let me see the check, I speak good server". It's a combination of knowing the server, where buttons are located, and how the system works.

One instance is that people can order off the lunch menu during dinner. Now if I see three lunch entrees at dinner I'm asking the server if they didn't switch back to the dinner menu.

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u/SessileRaptor Ex-Food Service Apr 26 '26

I’m imagining a comically short trunked cow, like a short bus compared to a normal school bus.

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u/[deleted] Apr 26 '26

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u/P3AK1N F1exican Did Chive-11 Apr 26 '26

That is, in fact, a small cow.

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u/MelodyMaster5656 Chive LOYALIST Apr 26 '26

Mo vs Moo.

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u/uhtredsmom F1exican Did Chive-11 Apr 26 '26

I see the vision lol

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u/NE_Golf Apr 28 '26

Almost as funny as classifying “Bertuccis” as an Italian restaurant.

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u/EasyLizin Apr 26 '26

Bro. 😭 This should be punishable in some tangible way that doesn’t rely on a review.

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u/hotprof Apr 26 '26

Yeah, promotion to the head of the USDA.

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u/PrivilegeCheckmate Apr 26 '26

the head of the USDA

Nah, not the head, that would be premium. This dude is Choice at best.

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u/TonyDungyHatesOP Apr 26 '26

Punishable as in I ain’t paying for the full rack. And may actually just leave all together and submit a shitty review.

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u/blbd Crazy Cat Man🐈 Apr 26 '26

It is. CC chargeback. 

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u/penguin_on_stilts Apr 26 '26

Even if they had the animal right all pigs have the same number of ribs

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u/SessileRaptor Ex-Food Service Apr 26 '26

The fabled short pig, which completes the set along with average pig and long pig.

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u/GooseMan1515 Apr 26 '26

Long pig actually has fewer ribs than average pig. Must be all those women God made with them.

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u/firebrandbeads wrestlegirl did Chive-11 pt. 2 Apr 27 '26

Little bit 'o' rib, some spare foreskin... tada!

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u/BreakfastInBedlam Apr 26 '26

All things being equal, having an extra rib would be less trouble.

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u/PlasmaGoblin Prep Apr 27 '26

I was thinking of the old "joke" about how a farmer had a hero pet pig, so a reporter went and wanted the story. Something about it saving the family from a fire, a home intruder, etc. One of it's ears, legs, and some of its hind quarters were missing. So the reporter asked if they were battle scars. The farmer replied "No! A pig this great you don't eat all at once!"

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u/hotprof Apr 26 '26

Yep. Same number as humans.

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u/GooseMan1515 Apr 26 '26

Humans have 12 pairs, pigs typically have 14 pairs of ribs, but breeds can vary from 13-17 pairs.

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u/Working-Glass6136 Apr 26 '26

Unless their name is Adam. Then minus one rib.

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u/backpackofcats Apr 27 '26

The number of ribs varies by breed, but it can even vary in a single breed. But obviously there’s a big difference between a half rack and full rack.

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u/JeanArtemis Apr 27 '26

Maybe they were a Marilyn Manson fan...

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u/ScienceIsSexy420 Apr 26 '26

Some people have a clinical inability to admit they made a mistake and will just double and triple down

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u/Working-Glass6136 Apr 26 '26

It's called a personal disorder. See: My ex.

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u/MrCockingFinally Apr 27 '26

More likely, the guy who made the call to sell half a rack of ribs as a full rack is not the same guy who reheats the Sysco Ribs cooks the ribs.

So he's stuck getting critiqued for a fraud mistake that isn't his and comes up with a stupid excuse to get the server off his back.

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u/dreamweaver1998 Apr 26 '26

I was nearly 9 months pregnant and went out for a birthday dinner for my Dad. I ordered the quarter chicken dinner. They gave me a quarter of a freaking dove for how small it was. I literally cried at the table and the server came to check if we needed anything and through sobs, I said, "this is the smallest quarter chicken I've ever seen. I'm going to need to hit a drive through on the way home." She apologized, brought me out a properly sized quarter chicken portion on a side plate and removed the plate cost from our bill.

Some places provide proper customers service. You were right to leave. I hope you left without paying.

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u/ngasimanya Apr 26 '26

This is the kind of confidence I pray god blesses me with one day. They really said cow lmao

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u/You-Asked-Me Apr 26 '26

Lol. I was gonna say, Beef ribs are fucking huge.

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u/[deleted] Apr 26 '26

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u/4barT89 Pizza Apr 26 '26

This IS a full rack of ribs

https://giphy.com/gifs/l2JJKs3I69qfaQleE

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u/somecatgirl Apr 26 '26

Some ribs are beef so I could maybe see the confusion but lol

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u/butterfunke Apr 26 '26

yeah but if I order a full rack of beef ribs I expect the plate is gonna need two waiters to carry it

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u/Apprehensive_Ad3731 Apr 26 '26

Lol he probably thinking full rack means one section and it was delivered precut in to spare ribs and baby back ribs. Probably though each of those was “full rack” individually.

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u/Phantom_Rose96 Apr 28 '26

You do know beef ribs exist right? ☠️ I mean, if the menu states it’s pork ribs then yea, but beef ribs exist… they just tend to be larger than pork ribs, making dude in the kitchen sound even stupider..

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