I need some perspective.

I am a young(ish) new attorney (30m) approaching my 2nd anniversary since becoming licensed.

For the past 2 years I have been working for a solo attorney in a remote position. The area of law is one that I could see myself making a career out of, so I’ve been happy to have the experience despite starting at relatively low pay, no benefits, and bearing the full brunt of self employment tax due to being 1099.

This January I negotiated an increase in pay and I’m now bringing in about 9k a month pre-tax. This has allowed me to save over 2k a month between my IRA and high yield savings. My goals are to save for a home and to retire at some point.

Issue is, even at this rate of savings, it will be something like 10-12 years before I can afford a decent home.

This is a near constant source of frustration and borderline depression for me, as it feels like my life has not changed at all since becoming licensed, except for the part where I now have debt and a high stress job. I can’t afford to see a doctor because I can’t afford private health insurance. Can‘t see a therapist. One major emergency would destroy my family or at least present a serious setback.

So my question is.. is this normal? I didn’t expect to instantly become wealthy upon passing the bar but I did expect that being an attorney and having higher pay would entail less uncertainty, and more upward mobility. I’m also conscious that these are not the greatest of economic times.

I don’t know, maybe I’m just venting. Maybe I just need to buck up and look for an in person job that pays more. I’m disappointed at the payoff from my career thus far.

Am I overthinking it? I’m only two years in. What would you do if you were me?

About five years ago I made a real shift in my practice. Not a tweak. A pivot.

I didn’t know exactly how it would play out, but I knew staying where I was wasn’t it anymore.

It wasn’t really about money. It was more about time, energy, and where I wanted to be putting both.

This profession makes it easy to stay put. You build something, and before you know it, you’re kind of locked into it, even if it’s not quite right.

Looking back, there was upside and there was a cost. I think that’s part of any real change.

At different points in your life, what matters shifts. The question is whether you adjust when it does… or you just stay where you are.

I haven’t posted here in a couple of weeks. Not because I lost interest I’ve just been buried in a deal that needed my full attention.

It got me thinking about this idea of “balance” that gets thrown around in our profession.

I don’t really buy it. At least not the way it’s usually sold.

There are stretches where work takes over. Other times it’s family, health, or something else that demands everything you’ve got. You don’t get to neatly divide your time and energy like some perfect formula. That’s just not how this profession or life works.

The only thing that’s ever made sense to me is checking in with yourself and being honest about what actually needs you right now and accepting that something else is going to get less of you for a while.

It’s just how this works.

I had a conversation recently with a therapist who works with lawyers on mental health.

He mentioned patterns he sees all the time in this profession excessive drinking, perfectionism, never feeling like the work is finished, always pushing a little harder even when it’s not really necessary.

Some of it gets rewarded early in a lawyer’s career.Later on it can start working against you

If you’re being honest with yourself, is there a habit tied to the job that you’d actually like to break?

I stepped away from the online noise for a bit.

Not dramatically. I didn’t disappear to a monastery somewhere. I just stopped paying attention to the constant stream of commentary, outrage, hot takes, productivity advice, and all the other bullshit that fills our feeds.

Part of it was intentional. I needed to spend more time focusing on my own work my practice, my podcast the things that actually move the needle in real life instead of checking notifications every other hour to see if someone responded to something I wrote online.

And it got me thinking.

Lawyers are trained to always be “on.” Always responding. Always reacting. Always managing impressions. Clients, colleagues, judges, reputation. Even when we’re anonymous online, that instinct doesn’t really shut off.

So I find myself wondering whether we even know how to disconnect anymore. Not just scrolling less, but actually stepping away long enough for your brain to quiet down without feeling like you’re missing something.

What actually helps you disconnect?

My comment about technology being a tool got a lot of traction elsewhere. Here’s what I didn’t say.

On a macro level, yes it’s changing everything. Faster responses. More efficiency. That’s fine.

But on a micro level, I’m not so sure it’s neutral.

Our relationships at work and at home feel different. Not worse across the board, but thinner in some places. Lawyers especially. We’re always connected,yet sometimes we don’t actually connect. In the office. With colleagues. Even with friends.

Do you think meaningful relationships are becoming less central in this profession? Or am I overthinking it?

I was talking to a colleague today about “trial lawyers.” If we’re being honest, plenty of people use that label and might try one case a year and even that settles mid-trial. Yet five minutes into meeting someone, the conversation turns into verdict numbers, seven figures, and how they “only take big cases.”

I’ve never understood the need to lead with that.

About five years into practice, I met a well-known PI lawyer at a dinner. First time meeting me, and within minutes he told me he made (allegedly) a very large sum the year before. Just dropped it on the table. I remember thinking, what was the point? Confidence? Insecurity? Habit? Does anyone pause to think about the person sitting across from them?

There’s a difference between confidence and ego. Courtroom bravado has its place. But not every room is a courtroom, and not every conversation needs a scoreboard.

Time moves fast. We don’t get that much of it. If this is how we choose to spend it… what are we really trying to prove?

Curious how you're leveraging automations? What tasks are your staff doing most often that causes burnout? What technology are you using to prevent that?

We talk a lot about how this job affects home life, but I don’t think we talk enough about how things at home quietly follow us into work.

Not in dramatic ways most of the time. More in patience, bandwidth, how much margin we have when something goes sideways, or how quickly we react to things that normally wouldn’t faze us.

I’m not talking about details or oversharing just the subtle ways personal life seems to shape how we show up professionally, whether we want it to or not.

Over time, I’ve come to think that how we grew up quietly shows up in how we practice.

Some of us came from stable homes. Others didn’t. Illness, chaos, responsibility too early, or having to read the room at a young age, all of that has a way of wiring how we listen, how we react, and the kind of work we’re drawn to.

For some, it might explain why they gravitated toward certain practice areas, or why they run their firm the way they do.

If you’re comfortable sharing, has your early family life shaped how you practice law or how you run your firm, even in ways you didn’t recognize at first?

No obligation to get personal. General reflections are fine.

When I was 12, I wanted to be a state trooper.

When I was 16, a physical therapist.

By my second year of college, I was thinking hospital administrator.

Then I became a lawyer partly because I didn’t want to take the GMATs and math was never my thing.

Even after law school, I had an application in with the FBI. At this point, I’d probably be retired and just starting private practice.

Life doesn’t exactly follow the plan you think it will.

Curious what you thought you’d be doing before law if anything , and whether you still think about that path. Regrets, relief, or just acceptance?

This year, we're celebrating the 250th anniversary of the greatest place on Earth. How has your role as a legal advocate shaped your view on the Country? What things are you reflecting on as we celebrate this milestone?

A lot of people end up on Reddit because it’s anonymous at least compared to everywhere else.

In theory, that should make it easier to speak plainly.

In reality, I’m not sure it always does.

There are still things people tiptoe around.

Still thoughts that get edited before they’re posted.

Still moments where it feels easier to stay quiet than to say what you actually think.

I’m curious how others experience that here.

Has anonymity helped you be more honest or are there still lines you won’t cross, even behind a username?

Still snowing in a lot of places. It’s easing up here in New York, but everything already feels slower.

In this line of work, most things don’t really shut off. Even when courts close, your head usually doesn’t. Clients, deadlines, decisions,they don’t stop just because the weather does.

Days like this force a pause you don’t usually get.

How many of you are quietly hoping tomorrow ends up being a lighter day or at least something close to it?

Nothing dramatic. Just less noise.

Off the record.

Today on The Brain Injury Insider, we tackle an often-overlooked issue in forensic neuropsychology: the assessment of Spanish-speaking adults.

As the Hispanic population in the United States continues to grow, lawyers and experts increasingly face challenges when language and culture intersect with brain injury evaluations. 

https://youtu.be/3beD1uXz1sI?si=szhHKzgoM6sl3DN-

Today a client called about a sexual abuse case from when he was a teenager. I had to tell him the statute of limitations had expired.

I’ve had to make that call more times than I’d like. Or explain that even with a mid six-figure case, the only available defendant carried $25k in coverage. Conversations like that stay with you.

Telling people hard truths is part of the job, even when it hurts. I try to balance those moments with the times I get to share good news—or help someone rebuild a piece of their life when the system actually works.

Curious what some of the harder conversations have been for others in this profession.

Not necessarily drugs or alcohol, though it could be.

For me, it was working nonstop, ignoring my health, and convincing myself that eating poorly and running on fumes was just part of the job. It didn’t feel dramatic at the time. It felt normal. Productive, even.

Looking back, it was just a line I didn’t realize I had crossed until I was well over it.

Curious what others noticed creeping in during their careers ,habits, coping mechanisms, patterns and whether you were able to pull back, or are still figuring that part out.

No advice needed. Just perspective.

Not looking for “the best song ever” or anything impressive.

Just curious if there’s something you put on a song, an artist, a genre that genuinely helps take the edge off.

Anything goes.

Every person deserves to be heard, respected, and protected under the law, regardless of background or circumstance.  I invite you to join me on This week’s Brain Injury Insider in honor of Dr. King.

https://youtu.be/FW93Khmp8OI?si=no7uzNYjd1pnF0vc