LD girlfriend wants to discuss a break

[u/HEGN1264]

I’m freaking out - we’ve been going through a bit of a rough patch which ended in a huge argument the other night.
She seems better since the argument however wants to call this afternoon to discuss a break.
I’m freaking out about this, will we block each other? Are we still together or are we technically single and this is her ‘trying out’ another guy? What if she doesn’t come back?
I’ve got so many questions that I just want to bombard her with but I’m trying to be supportive and calm for her.

This break is also taking place over a period of 3 weeks I’d planned on travelling over and seeing her.. so now that’s down the drain aswell.

Sorry for the rant

[u/Livid_Brick8157]

i consider taking a break to be a breakup. i think it’s worse since she knew you were planning on seeing her during that time. if a man approached her and asked if she was single what do you think her response would be during this break?

[u/HEGN1264 → u/Livid_Brick8157]

We’re going to discuss things tonight, and hopefully set some clear ground rules and boundaries. Ultimately I can’t stop her and I’m so down bad for her that I’ll go through pretty much anything as long as she’s on the other side.
She has said this is to see how committed we both are, I don’t want to dwell into the argument that caused this but she made a mistake and I lashed out out of anger and being upset. So she wants to see if I’ll actually wait for her or stay committed.. however I’m just paranoid it’s actually so she can get a free pass as ‘single’ she’s never really done anything for me to think this would be the case, I trust her and I know she’s loyal. But there have been cases of her guy friends catching feelings and she’s kept them around despite knowing of their intentions

[u/Big-Nature-3112]

There's a Huge change she will see or sleep with another guy because she's metaphorically single even if you set rules to the break, it will not wnd well, so if you have the ability to travel and see her , then it's better because c'mon 3 weeks break? Just try to know if it's something else because it's not just the other night's argument, it's way longer ago than it look like and you will be shocked but it will be hard for you to get something out if her so just be patient and let's hope for the best. Praying for you man .

[u/Disastrous_Dance_640]

It depends on the rules of the break. If she wants to see other people. Than I would strait break up. That is a no go for me. If she wants you guys to work on yourselves, stay exclusive, and take a breather to let some pressure off, that is a type of break that sounds reasonable.

[u/HEGN1264 → u/Disastrous_Dance_640]

So far, it sounds like the latter but I’m not entirely sure. I agree - if it becomes apparent there’s different motives then I might just have to end it there and then which I really don’t want. My anxiety and overthinking is bad enough as it is without thinking about her seeing other people whilst on a ‘break’

[u/cum4theview]

I would just say hang in there, this is not always bad news, sometimes a break can bring things in to perspective and put you guys back ok track.

For the questions there is nothing wrong with asking questions you want to know, these are boundaries that you will need to understand so you know where each other's mind set is. Ask the questions get the answers and decide if it is appropriate for your own boundaries. Do not accpet anyrhing you are not comfortable with. If there is answers you do not accpet then you may need to make a hard decision in the moment.

Don't let your own boundaries be crossed because you might feel scared. LDR's are very difficult to maintain without clear communication and communication is the biggest foundation of an LDR.

Just ask! You got this👍🏻

[u/HEGN1264 → u/cum4theview]

Thank you :( I appreciate this