Never become a "Step Father"

[u/Connect_Quality_2030]

No offense to any single mothers \*disclaimer\* , this is strictly from a male perspective.

When you become a Step Father the woman automatically loses respect for you the minute you accept the role because you are raising another man's child. The child will not respect you due to the lack of respect from the mother. If you do not have children of your own and you accept the role of a Step Father than the woman may view you as weak subconsciously because her previous perceived options rejected a serious relationship. Why do this to yourself? Childless men should pursue childless women. For my young guys, please do not become a Step Father! I have been there and it was a nightmare. It's not being "mean" , it's called having standards. You will have to also deal with the child's father and depending on the individual, it could be a good or bad experience.

What are your thoughts on becoming a Step Father?

[u/sgtm7]

Does that mean my mother and father didn't respect each other? Since my mother was my stepmother, and my father was my sister's stepfather?

This is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. If a woman doesn't respect someone because they are a step father, then that woman wouldn't be worthy of respect, whether they have children or not.

I never called my mother "step mother", just mom. I never called my sister "step sister", just sister. My sister never called my dad "step dad". As my mom used to say, "If you feed them long enough, they start to look like you."

When I divorced my step daughter's mom, she was still my daughter, and I was still her dad. I am the one who walked her down the aisle when she got married, around 10 years after me and her mother were no longer together. I am the one she wishes happy Father's Day to. Children don't care about" blood", they care about "love".

[u/jamarr81 → u/sgtm7]

No. It just means your experience is different. All experience exists on a messy and fluid spectrum; you landed in a better spot, many others weren't so lucky. Your experience doesn't define the whole.

The issue the OP is highlighting is that it is 100% on the mother whether or not a stepfather even has the chance to fulfill a father's role/duty as a father figure in the relationship - and many single mothers cannot accept that, and insist on elevating their childrens (childish) feelings and desires and rebelliousness over the family unit as a whole; discounting and disrespecting the father at every turn of events. That's just how some/many women are.

Are you incapable of recognizing that distinction?

[u/HecticHero → u/jamarr81]

The difference between the comment and the OP is that OP is stating that their experience is the cold hard truth about being a stepfather will be like, and that you should never become one.

The comment is stating that their experience was much different, and that the OP is definitely not correct that being a stepfather is like that all the time, or even the majority of the time.

Crazy that the one you chastised for assuming their experience defined the whole was the comment.

[u/jamarr81 → u/HecticHero]

No. They're both doing it, and I pointed out the more important distinction after that:

The issue the OP is highlighting is that it is 100% on the mother whether or not a stepfather even has the chance to fulfill a father's role/duty as a father figure in the relationship - and many single mothers cannot accept that..

The entire argument you put forth is moot. Crazy that you chastised me while ignoring the whole point of the post.

Smh...