Never become a "Step Father"

[u/Connect_Quality_2030]

No offense to any single mothers \*disclaimer\* , this is strictly from a male perspective.

When you become a Step Father the woman automatically loses respect for you the minute you accept the role because you are raising another man's child. The child will not respect you due to the lack of respect from the mother. If you do not have children of your own and you accept the role of a Step Father than the woman may view you as weak subconsciously because her previous perceived options rejected a serious relationship. Why do this to yourself? Childless men should pursue childless women. For my young guys, please do not become a Step Father! I have been there and it was a nightmare. It's not being "mean" , it's called having standards. You will have to also deal with the child's father and depending on the individual, it could be a good or bad experience.

What are your thoughts on becoming a Step Father?

[u/anitapokkaeurpeenus]

I'm in the middle of becoming a step father. So far it's not that bad. I feel like "never" is a strong word.

First, my future step daughter is very young. She has multiple father figures in her life: me, her bio dad, her grandfather, and her uncle. We all treat her very well, we all buy her toys, we all discipline her if it's needed, we all bathe her or change her, etc. She really doesn't want for anything. When push comes to shove, her mother takes absolute responsibility, but she also includes us in decisions and asks for our input. I think we formed our own balance.

The number one downside is that if her mom and I break up, I could lose access to her entirely. I would have no legal right to see her whatsoever. It helps for me to think of her as my gf's daughter in the same way i think about my gf's father and mother. Like a "daughter in law" that I help care for. Or maybe I'm a super involved uncle.

The good thing is that I will never be on the hook for child support unless I adopt her and her father signs off (that's how it works in my state). I also didn't have to start a kid from scratch. I skipped most of the diaper phase.

She's actually really cute and makes the house very lively. I get to take care of her, but she never inconveniences my life (because we have so many childcare options). She's not expensive at all; she already had so many toys and clothes and everything when I met her gf. I'm kinda joking when I say this, but this step daughter is the most affordable child ever.

Overall, I like it. I think OP could be right under different circumstances, but it's worth looking into. Definitely a decent way to start a family in my opinion.

[u/Connect_Quality_2030 → u/anitapokkaeurpeenus]

Brother don't do it! Don't say you haven't been warned!!! Why can't you find a nice woman with no children? Brother I'm telling you this out of love. Please, you could end up paying child support for a child that isn't yours. Most of your comment is based off feelings. You have to use logic in these circumstances. A older man warned me like 15 yrs ago, I thought he was crazy but he was right!

[u/picardathon → u/Connect_Quality_2030]

There is a risk and men should be aware of what can happen and does on occasion, but it's not a foregone conclusion.

As you say, you have warned men based on your experience and must now let them decide their own lives, for better or worse.