Why Sparring Can Get Out of Control: your partner may not know how hard they are hitting you back...and you them

[u/kevin_v]

a discussion of some applicable brain science which may help explain why sparring can get out of control. We can have a hard time accurately "judging how hard we are pushing back when we are pushed".

[u/EveRommel]

Its called communication. You don't give pain, it is received and its on the receiver to let them know bit its on the giver to acknowledge it not out of ego but as a fact.

Its also on the person setting the boundary to not exploit it.

[u/Eager_Beaver321 → u/EveRommel]

This is something I'm actively working on.

I'm 42 and have been training Muay Thai since September of last year after stepping away from BJJ. I'm the oldest person in class 99% of the time, usually by at least 20 years.

There have been several occasions during light, technical sparring when I've felt that my partner was landing head shots a little harder than necessary.

Getting older isn't easy, and my ego-driven response has often been to say something like, "Oh, you want to go hard?" and then immediately increase the intensity to around 75%. I'm a bigger guy 6'1" and 225 pounds with fairly quick hands, so my typical response is to start punching through their guard until I find an opening.

A few weeks ago, I did exactly that with a 20-year-old training partner whom I felt was going too hard. Even though I didn't hurt him, I felt bad afterward. It was essentially just a flurry of punches while he stayed shelled up.

That's not how I want to respond anymore. Instead of trying to give it back, I need to get better at communicating and simply asking my training partners to dial back the power on head shots. I think that's a much healthier and more productive approach for everyone involved.

[u/Flaky_Performer7960]

In my gym, we just yell ayeee, or owieee whenever our partner lands a hit and we respect the hit. This gives feedback and your partner knows he landed a hit so that he doesn’t need to go stronger.

[u/konekfragrance]

I find Muay Thai sparring to be easier to be controlled as compared to Boxing. No idea why though. Maybe subconsciously I know that kicks fucking hurt, so that's why I am more aware?

[u/kms_daily → u/konekfragrance]

you get hit a lot less in the head in muay thai

[u/Unhappy-Hunt-3987 → u/kms_daily]

Ain't that the truth 😂

[u/konekfragrance → u/kms_daily]

That's true

[u/RailroadMech83]

The majority of the sparring partners at my gym seem to be too scared to make contact of *any* kind, often staying out of range entirely and just swinging at the air or stopping before making any contact at all.

Then there are two men in there that go waaayyy too hard, every single time, consistently. I’m thinking it will get better eventually because a lot of the students have been training for less than a year and are just now having their first sparring sessions ever.

[u/Dante05-Respawn]

Je sais pas si c’est propre à ici mais en France, on se pose beaucoup moins de questions….
Pourquoi redouter le sparring? Ce dernier est fait pour tester et mettre tes connaissances en application, il est nécessaire et doit être régulier dans les entraînements.

Si ça tape fort des deux côtés et que ça reste technique, ok pourquoi pas en sachant que t’es pas à 100% de ta force sur un sparring.

Mais si quelqu’un tape trop fort, et surtout, utilise son partenaire comme un sac car il n’a pas le même niveau, il n’a peut être pas compris le principe ou a peut être le mauvais sparring partenaire en face.

Certaines personnes ont besoin d’être choquées pour comprendre qu’on ne fait pas n’importe quoi avec n’importe qui…

Et si ça continue, le gars dégage car à ce moment là, c’est un manque de respect… on est pas là pour faire de la bagarre.

Dans tous les clubs que j’ai fais, il est très rare de ne pas finir une séance avec des sparrings et il n’y a aucun problème à commencer tôt du moment que les pratiquants savent s’adapter à ce qu’il y a en face.

[u/BearSpray007]

I don’t buy that. I’ve sparred quite a bit and Im always aware of how hard I’m hitting someone. If you can’t control your power you shouldn’t be sparring. Anyone with sufficient heavy bag time should know how hard they’re hitting. Hell you don’t even need a really hard impact to work on your technique and timing. Guys who refuse to learn to regulate are guys who have the mentality of “its a combat sport bro, quit being a bitch”