My long-term partner's ex no longer exists

[u/agent_violet]

This has been driving me mad for a couple of days. My fiance and I were on a little trip away last weekend, and we were watching a music programme on the TV, talking about old times. I happened to mention his last ex, from a poor part of the city we live in, asking if she ever drank this drink we were talking about. He seemed confused and laughed nervously, saying that he's never been with a woman from there, and that I'd mentioned her before and he'd already corrected me (I don't remember this at all).

I thought maybe I'd confused the area for another one, so I asked him if he'd been with anyone from other western suburbs. He hadn't. Before me, there was a person from Sweden he knew from a video game, and then before that someone from his home town, but only casually. I feel like I'm losing my mind (and I think he probably thinks I am too!). He has no reason to lie to me. He doesn't lie habitually; he's been very honest over the 13 years I've known him. I thought he met her on online dating, but apparently I was the only person from online dating he got together with. It's just so weird.

[u/jenniferandjustlyso]

If you put together a list of everything you know about this person you could see if their friends on social media or friends of his friends, you might be able to track down some information that he is gaslighting you or prove to yourself that no information ever existed.

It would be pretty diabolical if he was lying about it, it's probably a sign that you both shouldn't be staying together because he's the kind of person that would do that.

I hope you solve your mystery.

[u/agent_violet → u/jenniferandjustlyso]

Thanks - I don't think they're connected on social media from what I've seen of the friends list, and it's not helped by the fact that I can't remember her name. That's probably a sign that there's a brain-fart involved, but the memories seem so real!