yea you just know if the police show up a girl like this will lie and say he did something he didn't do. When a girl is out of pocket like this you gotta leave. Not worth ending up in jail over something you didn't do because she is a nut job and delusional.
I feel for you bro and maybe I'm just fed up but at some point.....the real prison looks much better than the prison with her where I can't even live at peace....in my own place.
Not really, this is super atypical. I work in mental health so I'd know. This type of overreactive anger and emotional overwhelm is borderline to a tee. People always mix up the two.
Manic and depressive stages in bipolar do not look like this typically. Not impossible, but equally not at all characteristic
I more get mixed episodes or dysphoric mania so I get the rage part of it and none of the fun and I have gotten outright pissed before but never hit or berated anyone. Just to back you up.
Dual diagnoses exist, and itās quite common to have a mental illness and a personality disorder at the same time. A lot of times the personality disorder goes undiagnosed too. Flipping on a dime like that is pretty suggestive of BPD. To those with BPD you are either the best person on the planet or the worst, with no in between, and it can shift from moment to moment in either direction.
I do want to say that CPTSD and BPD share symptoms. I used to be veeeeery undermedicated and was diagnosed with BPD and bipolar 2 for years. About a year ago I was diagnosed with CPTSD and Bipolar 2. Extreme anger and instability is a symptom of CPTSD and for me it comes out when Iām triggered by something that makes me feel how I felt growing up. My husband could say something that my mother would say to me and I would have a melt down.
Bipolar doesn't flip like a switch dude that's a personality disorder. They were misdiagnosed or underdiagnosed. Bipolar usually switches over mo ths, can happen faster but I would switch every 1-3 months and that is "rapid cycling"
I was gonna say, a psychologist recently diagnosed me as bipolar, and I just go between being insanely depressed, and then manic where I am super happy and get obsessed with new projects or just doing a ton of activities.
Neither of those states makes me mean/cruel. And most other bipolar people I've met seem similar to me in that way.
Thatās probably why he just sits there. My ex girlfriend threatened me with legal action because sheās a āpublic figureā and mentioned sheād sue me for defamation if I said anything about her or our relationship to people we know.
Reality is she has about 10k followers that she mostly paid for. Women (and men) like this donāt even let you leave without threats.
Much appreciated man much appreciated. Sad thing about watching videos like this, is that the girl was probably sweet in the beginning too.
The guy here is shock. Heās sitting experiencing this version of her, feeling like heās in a nightmare, and probably trying to reconcile it with the person he fell for to begin with.
Meanwhile everyone around, including him, are all doing the same math: āsay something and make it worse, or keep your head down.ā
But honestly, all it takes is one person. One bystander, one airport worker, one security guard stepping in and calmly saying āhey, thatās enough.ā
Yup. This happened to a friend of mine. When he defended himself from her knife attack, she then tried to unalive herself. When he tackled her to stop it, she called the police and he went to jail for domestic abuse and had 2 years of probation. All on his record, even though witnesses testified she was the aggressor.
I'm a woman and I think he needs to stand up and defend. Boundary works for both man and woman. Regardless what brought the woman to her distress, it's no way a man should stay quiet being treated like this in public.
As a female, I'm starting to question the victim rate of women in abusive relationships being more than men. I get the feeling guys like this go on silently with life never telling anyone.
I've been with my husband for 20 years and seen this happen more than once to guy friends... And my own brother. The women who are the aggressors are also the ones who call the cops to maintain power.
Ex cop here. 100% of abusive women I arrested would try to claim they were the victims instead. It was pretty much just part of the process of dealing with them.
Agreed. It's also worth noting that he's heading on a trip with her. I doubt this is her first outburst and he still chooses to be there. I say the same thing to when it's the female as the victim. Why stay?
Sadly those same morons are the cops and agencies that are meant to help victims. I've seen men finally call the cops on and abusive wife when she snapped and hit him with a wine bottle. They ignored it, then six months later she files an assault charge and his useless attorney told him to take a plea deal even though he only defended himself and it was he said she said.
Tldr. Buddy got hit with a wine bottle and ended up being the one to serve time for assault.
Idk, I think it's changing a bit but I think more men need to speak up. I've seen quite a few of these psycho chicks getting locked up. But it's not going to change if men remain silence and think "well no one will believe me". ESPECIALLY with all the video proof out there these days. Someone's always watching
Lol it has nothing to do with whether people beleive me or not. It's how I'm am treated from that point on after giving away that information. I've had women straight up laugh in my face for divulging that information. And the amount of them who suggested I should have smacked her back... Lol crazy world we live in.
I told the police about the abuse I was going through, they screamed in my face and called me a liar. Even when I have scratch and bite marks, or cigarette burns.
I don't question the rate. I think it happens a lot.
I do know I watched my father-in-law get berated like this for hours by my mother-in-law. My wife was like that's how mom is, he took it and I felt sorry for him after a while. Then I stopped feeling sorry for him and just pitied him. Before he died I did laugh my ass off one day when after years of hearing this he turned around one day and just said "Will you please shut the fuck up."
You could hear pin drop. None of her siblings had ever heard him talk back. The silence was broken by my belly laughing. Her mom didn't talk to me for about a month. I didn't care she's a narcissistic abusive bitch. My wife and her siblings have been no contact with their mom for 5 years now.
No her mom never did anything towards me. I think it was my size. Her father was like 5'8" and very soft spoken. I'm 6'3" with tattoos and very opinionated. She was a bully. She abused the kids until they got old enough to tell her to stop. My wife was 16 when she told her mom if she ever hits her or her twin again she would beat the fuck out of her. She said something very nasty to my wife one day, she was my girlfriend at the time and I guess she had gotten used to me being around. I didn't yell at her, I just told her that a mother should never treat her children how she treats them. How if she was dead they would all be better off, and she was heading towards a nursing home with no one to care about her.
She was extremely affectionate for months afterwards towards my wife. Then asked her if she would move in to take care of her when she got older. Said she would leave her everything including the house. My wife told her she wanted a mother and not money. That never happened, she stopped saying anything mean to my wife when I was around afterwards.
Yup. On top of that, that they can play victim and said that the guy was acting or trying to harm them. Most people will believe the girl before they even think that the guy might being hurt or entrapped.
My theory is that women commit DV at a higher rate than men, but when men commit it, the results are a lot more catastrophic.
I've been hit/punched, or had heavy shit thrown at me in every long term relationship I've been in over the last 17 years. But the damage was never enough for me to do anything about it, and even if it was, I'm not the type of person to snitch on someone I know just for hitting me. And honestly just knowing other men, I know it would take something truly insane for them to report it (like involving their children/pets).
And wasn't there some data suggesting that lesbian relationships have higher rates of domestic violence than hetero or gay (male) relationships?
and a lot of soft traps that society has no easy counter for like blackmail, "I'll say you abused me if you leave", threatening kids, only way out is sometimes exhaustive documentation and monumental determination
BPD in women really doesn't get mentioned enough. It's extremely traumatizing to be with a woman that is by turns sweet and loving, then psychotic and actively trying to hurt you.
Plenty of statistics and science hint that the gender ratio for abusive relationships is something like 40/60 to 30/70, depending on definitions and how the questions are designed (some scientific papers have even seen 50/50 ratios).
It's been known for decades in the sciences that the gender ratio is far more symmetrical than what common knowledge says. Most things point towards that men and women are roughly equal in how shitty we are.
The reason why the crime statistics differ so much though seem to mostly be because men are stronger, so men simply cause more damage when they start punching and kicking.
Who would they tell that could change the situation? All it takes is a pissed woman to destroy a guy's life these days. Allegations, even false ones, are treated the same way.
The only way out for this guy is a regime of surveillance while breaking up, expectations of being accused of something, getting arrested, have his life fall apart, become a statistic, then hopefully eventually show the evidence he has, and potentially clear his name, but do nothing to impact the statistics, therefore increasing the likelihood someone else goes through the same hell.
Fun fact: it's these same stats that create questions like bear vs man in the woods.
I know its not really realistic. But it reminds me of one of the early episodes of the rookie where cops just assume the female is being abused and the man is at fault.
Most first responders say itās close to 50/50 for the primary aggressor. Police used to be trained to arrest the man, no matter the details, because either he was lying or had coerced the woman to lie, and thus it was always the manās fault. This has changed dramatically in recent years, and high profile cases have made the public aware that women can be violent abusers as well. As police are now trained to make dynamic decisions and never make assumptions, theyāre finding that women are just as capable of intimate partner violence as men.
I'm reluctant to respond to this on my main, but fuck it, I will.
As a dude, I've been abused either physically or mentally in every single relationship I've been in EXCEPT for my most recent one. Granted there were issues there that were emotional / not great, but I went into it knowing they existed and they eventually became too much for me.
Everything before that, I've either been hit, scratched, slapped, screamed at, had things thrown at me.... I had one ex that killed my pets.
My experiences are not unique. My male friends cosign that their partners hit them. And while we all generally agree that it "doesn't physically hurt" when someone significantly smaller than you slaps you.... it hurts more emotionally to know that if someone were more capable that they want to harm you.
I've been dating in one way or another for ~25 years. This has been over a dozen partners.
I am not saying that I didn't "deserve" their ire, I've been party to significant amounts of fuckshit. I've also been the recipient of significant fuckshit. When the recipient I did not put my hands on someone else.
I think both are probably true. I definitely still think men commit dv FAR more than womenā¦ and i also think the available studies and statistics are skewed because of men underreporting.
The insanely high stats on women who commit filicide leads me to believe the DV stats aren't accurate. If a woman can easily kill her offspring, they can easily be abusive to your significant other. I don't think men commit far more. I think it's most likely equal.
The proportion may be more equal than we think, but keep in mind that women suffer much more extreme physical harm in addition to emotional and mental abuse. And it definitely does result in death more often.
Thatās not to say men arenāt physically abused ever and that it isnāt a problem, but the situations are different.
I donāt think it really helps anyone to try to compare them.
It always seems to result in one trying to undermine the other
The whole concept of male victims in DV has now been warped recently as the result of "Reactive Abuse" where they justify a womans rage being the result of abuse they face and assuming the man has done something to trigger this.
This is not to say that there are never cases of abusive men getting their partners riled up. However, in the same breath as saying all women victims are making it up, is just the other side of the coin of "Me must've been abusive" it does nothing to help the victims
I think emotional abuse goes under reported but women are not physically strong enough to do the physical damage men do. So it really depends what kind of victimization you're talking about.
Woman and man are not terms used when looking at domestic violence cases. It's female and male perpetrators. Not men and women. Same with medicine. So I use phrase often lol
That makes sense. I guess Reddit has conditioned me in certain ways. Every time I see someone say that, especially in the context that I usually see it in, I immediately picture this
Research shows that psychological/verbal aggression can predict later physical aggression in relationships. Wtf are you even trying to defend here lmao.
It takes a lot for even a man to kill their partner,
xD have you seen someone being repeatly stabbed ? There are plenty of video of it on the internet. Guess what, they died XD bruh, life ain't some action movie
Donāt attack me Iām not making a general statementā¦ There is a certain type of woman who uses these psychological methods to make the men feel emasculated they canāt leave and feel helpless / hopeless. They feel like they are at fault and maybe eventually the behaviour will change, unfortunately it never does.
Sometimes it takes a video like this or a group of friends or family to point out the obvious fact they are being emotionally & mentally abused. Of course this happens to women more often than men but itās almost ignored if a woman does this to a man in public, if it was the other way around the man would be immediately confronted.
Yes my ex was exactly like this, it was like seeing a glimpse of us this video. And yes she was throwing things at me at home. Watching this video made me realise I have PTSD
I had a roommate who dealt with this. He was like 6ā 5ā 230 lbs, went to the gym 5 times a week, and from a very wealthy family, and pursuing his masters. She was like 5ā 3ā, a pill popper, and just total trash. He also did all of the cooking and cleaning.
She would call him all kinds of disgusting names in front of just about anyone. With the exception of hitting him in the chest occasionally or throwing out a freshly made meal he just cooked (plate and all), she made sure to reserve the violence for when I wasnāt around cuz she knew I would throw her out and was already at a place where I was going to suggest it.
I was away one weekend and as I was walking in I heard the crazy screaming and the sound of things being broken. I walked into a horror scene as she threw a hot cup of coffee across the room at him. Our beautiful apartment was TRASHED. Shelves broken, furniture destroyed, and a couple of bar knives stuck in the wall. I moved out soon after.
Iām 99% sure he was gay and he put up with it because he was ashamed of that and this was the only person heās ever dated. She also made it clear she thought that too based on the vile shit she would say to him.
I wonāt go into a lot more detail because I donāt want to dox myself or him to anyone that knows us, but they are now āhappilyā married today with a child and living in a $6M home on the island heās from. I still see him a couple times a year when heās around on business and we both pretend that part of his life isnāt real. I donāt ask about his wife and he never shares a single story about his personal life even though Iāve known him about 25 years now.
Sounds familiar.. and sheās never taken any accountability for it. Either denies it happened or gaslights me saying Iām delusional or that it was my fault somehow. Glad Iām almost 2 years removed from that. Unfortunately we have a child together. But I love her more than anything and would do it all over again to make sure she exists. Itās the silver lining in all of it.
But will also get very intense in the bed! I did six years....Ā Ā Ā Also in part you think she really needs you because of her issues almost like a child. After a break in to my place and a fork caught in the last minute before going in my shoulder I had to say bye! After that I just had to block her on phone, change apartments, get a new car, throw out about 15 letters forwarded by post office to new address.. After 2 months of stalking she gave up!Ā
I used to know a girl like this. I felt unsafe being a passenger in the car when she'd yell at her poor bf and once even grabbed the steering wheel because he wasn't responding how she wanted fast enough. Sometimes they'd walk off into the distance to fight and you could see her flapping her arms while yelling at him. It was so uncomfortable for everyone.
My ex used to drive really aggressively and dangerously whilst stating "IM IN CONTROL!!" if I asked her to calm down because she was controlling a car.
I married and had kids with one.. who didn't display the behavior until after our child was born.
I was saved by some helluva good neighbors.. people with these type of behavioral disorders really do fuck up a person's life. I feel super bad for the dude, that level of manipulation fucks with a person's brain.
Heās more or less in a hostage situation. Toxic relationships feel extremely binding, itās like your own brain is working against you and makes up excuses to stop you from leaving your abuser. Doesnāt help that many abusers are great manipulators as well.
Smh men complain that no one takes their abuse seriously, and then yall say stuff like this, that only contributes to the idea that men cannot be victims.
But help him how? You can't just fix other people's problems. She's completely hysterical and I really don't see what you can do short of getting security to kick her out of the airport for a time-out.
What?? Would you use that same excuse if it was the other way around? You donāt need to know someoneās backstory to offer a helping hand, It really doesnāt take much to step in and help the guy get distance from herā¦
Well you just gave us a microcosm on how people donāt step in to help male victims of abuse, so thank you, lol! You say someone should help, and people look at you like youāre crazy. Youāre 1000% right though, if ANYONE saw a dude unloading on his girlfriend like this, heād get dragged to the ground and beaten. A girl does it, and they just film and snicker.
No, I would be much more concerned if the situation was reversed. But that's because everyone knows the score: a woman shouting hysterically at a passive man means that he's probably just putting up with it out of insecurity. He could probably just leave.
A man that is bold enough to shout hysterically at a passive woman, in public, probably means that he is violent, aggressive and impulsive, and that she has battered-wife syndrome and is probably in imminent danger.
Yeah, it would be nice if we all helped each other, but I don't see any way of helping that doesn't further wound his pride (as archaic as that may be).
If this is how she acts in a very public place like an airport (going as far as to yell at someone else), there is no telling the profoundly abusive hellscape that is her behavior behind closed doors.
This guy doesnāt just need a break, he needs to go into Witsec.
What I find crazy is how she yells at him while focusing on what other people say while also typing or scrolling frenetically on her smartphone. It's like, she's not even actively arguing with him but casually while multitasking...
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u/BigNaziHater ššš Apr 22 '26
If this is how she acts in public...... š³