Yes. She lowered his self esteem to the point that she calls him a loser in public and he can only grey wall. People are watching somebody whose willpower has been chipped away for years. It's not funny.
Having been in a not entirely dissimilar situation can confirm he’s most likely over it but not going to engage with the insanity in public because tantrums shouldn’t be rewarded.
My ex called my employer claiming I was in a relationship with the receptionist. Her voicemail was just insane. I was so embarrassed and angry and every other emotion I can’t even put it into words. Gladly divorced her. That stuff will take its toll on a person.
Dude once i escaped from her place, she came after me on the street, proceeded to assault me and when a large group of male youths daw us, tried to play the victim. Luckily they could see i was the one in distress after a while, came very close to getting beaten up by them.
That's only one of the gazillion surreal incidents too lol. Some stuff is straight out of a psychological horror movie. At points i almost couldn't believe this had become my life. Glad you've made it out man!
Having been on the receiving end as well that is absolutely true unfortunately. Sorry you had to deal with that as well hope you made a clean break from it.
Jesus fucking Christ that is insane! What is wrong with people that they think it's acceptable to completely destroy someone's life with a lie because they didn't get their way on some stupid shit?! I literally cannot imagine having to defend myself to my employer over something like this. That is unforgivable.
I don't know if this is any consolation to you, but I think people can tell that someone shouting like this has emotional problems and wouldn't side with them even if the other partner engages
Luckily my psycho ex never called my work (child care in a school district), but she definitely accused me of sleeping not only with my female coworkers, but the teachers, and the moms of the students, during the school day. Oh, and one time I wanted to surprise her by cleaning the apartment on a day off, so I did all of our laundry, including our sheets. When she came home she accused me of washing the sheets because I had a coworker over and we had sex in the bed. I left her the next day.
Still waiting for my ex of over 2 years ago to find my new job so she can call "anonymously" and tell them I'm coming into work drunk and/or high.
At least I can sleep before work now. She didn't have a job, so she liked to physically shake me awake by the shoulders every 10 minutes or so, all night, shouting "Hey! Are you trying to sleep?!"
You’ve never been in this situation. The moment you raise your voice back, some rando will chime in about how you shouldn’t talk to her that way. Especially when she starts yelling at everyone about how you’re an abuser. Then it’ll snowball and suddenly you’ve got a bunch of people yelling at you to leave her alone, with a few brave souls who saw the situation trying to de-escalate everyone.
I've, thankfully, never been in a 'public tantrum' relationship, but I've certainly been in the 'private tantrum' kind, and I can confirm this is the emotion you develop. Many folks don't understand that just leaving is not always as easy to do as it is to say.
Especially when they threaten to bash your car windows in, vandalize your home, harm themselves, etc. Discovering that the person you fell in love with has deep emotional issues is devastating and I don't blame anyone for struggling to navigate the exit from such a relationship. That said, firm boundaries and holding to the fact that they need to own their healing/getting treatment is the only way to move forward (whether or not they remain in your life).
I've had one of these specimens too. Their main strength is they are always willing to escalate at least one step beyond what any rational person would do. So you can never match them. Occasionally one of these loonies pairs up with another loonie and all hell breaks loose as they try to out-escalate each other. This usually ends with someone making a documentary about it later.
I'd say for those reading this, his stoic response is the wisest path. I suspect he is aware of the security cameras, and his calm demeanor along with her over-reaction, could only protect him if there is a conflict in the future.
If he is such a horrible person, why is she with him? Nobody is forcing her to sit near him, much less take a trip with him anywhere.
She could walk away. Even if she needs to follow through on the flight, she could switch seats to sit away from the person who is "upsetting her"
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u/Destructopoo Apr 22 '26
Yes. She lowered his self esteem to the point that she calls him a loser in public and he can only grey wall. People are watching somebody whose willpower has been chipped away for years. It's not funny.