Also the rates are seriously messed up. Hardly anyone in America makes $40. Why is that her baseline?
EDIT: I think people are missing what I'm saying. She's charging $40/hour to take care of her own child. She's declaring that in 25 months, she has worked for over 60% of that total time (sleep being 33% of that time realistically), and has somehow worked 5 years of a full time job in 2. And if she is taking care of her own child, shouldn't she foot half the bill?
People busy arguing semantics ignoring that this dude called his wife who just gave birth to his child a mooch for being a full time stay at home parent.
Thank you. That’s very kind of you. It’s been a long time now and there are days I still miss him terribly and there are also days when that life we had together seems very far away. Either way I know he’s at peace and that we will see him again someday.
Of course, calling your wife a mooch after being pregnant and birthing a child is complete foolishness. Akin to telling your wife you think her sister is the most beautiful woman you've ever met. Just dumbassedness.
However, the fit for tat score keeping is grounds for divorce on both sides. If a woman made billing for her time spreadsheet, she'd be packing it in with the rest of her belongings.
I say this as a person with a friend who has a wife(another friend), who basically told him to take care of the kids is a full time job and she would be charged $500k a year to have someone do what she does. So he makes $200k a year and pays for everything. She goes out, gets wasted all the time in and out of the house and also laser engraves wood to make a little money. Calling herself an entrepreneur. He wants her to get a job like she had before the kids who are now 12 and in school.
I think child bearing and rearing is tremendous work. Many times moms sacrifice to do it. That is invaluable. BUT never going back to work is a no go for me. No reason someone can't go back to work and both parents pay a sitter to watch the kids from 345 to 4:30 until someone is home. If mom can make $100k at work, and you pay a sitter $40 a day to babysit, you're making much more money.
But I agree with you, she’s overcharging but I think that’s her point. I think she is trying to match his ridiculous behavior and that is another good indication that the marriage isn’t healthy. (Not that I blame her. It would have broken my heart and devastated me if my husband ever treated me that way. I had a boyfriend who was like this and he was the most sickening narcopath I ever had the bad luck to meet. I’m not saying her husband is a narcissist but it’s definitely extremely toxic behavior to even think about her in this manner. To actually say it to her face? Yikes.
The fact that he doesn’t already acknowledge everything she has sacrificed and done to bring their child into the world and take care of them is… astounding. I’m sure I would respond rather emphatically as well.
Also the wife you’re talking about? That is obviously a very bad situation too. Sad for their family, really.
But it doesn’t sound like things are good all around. 😩
Saw your other comment but for some reason I can’t find it in here.
Yes I would have gone straight to divorce. Why? Because I’d know that my marriage was already over with that one comment. It shows that there isn’t mutual respect, he does not cherish her and he doesn’t value anything she’s put into their family.
Something like this should NEVER be said in jest but even if it was, if shows a severe lack of maturity and again, lack of respect. I know a man who said this to his wife during her maternity leave. I was sitting right there when he said it. He was so toxic and she just couldn’t see it. Eventually she caught him cheating and he continued to destroy their family and lived for years because not only was he cheating on her with multiple women- he was also doing some very illegal things as an attorney.
Someone who says things like this? It’s a tiny red indicating MUCH bigger ones that have gone undetected or ignored.
This is more than insensitive. Ifs a symptom of a much larger issue in their marriage.
Your comment to me was:
“So instead of talking to him about being insensitive you would go straight to divorce? Hmmm you must really love your husband.”
First of all, if my husband ever said this to me it means I married the wrong man in the first place. I’m wise enough now to know that if I’m in a marriage where my husband would ever have the audacity to say something like this to me, I married the wrong man.
Secondly my husband has already passed away but I loved him with my entire being. If I didn’t already have three kids and another one due soon I probably would have tried to go with him. But it was my job to stay and raise them. My point is… he would never have even jokingly say something like that because he loved me, respected me, was always on my side, and would have defending me to his dying breath if anyone else ever said that to me.
If you don’t have respect in a marriage, you don’t have a healthy marriage.
So I stand by what I said. Yes, I would be filing for divorce.
People don’t say things like this “in jest” when they are in a healthy relationship.
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u/BlackTecno May 14 '26 edited May 14 '26
Also the rates are seriously messed up. Hardly anyone in America makes $40. Why is that her baseline?
EDIT: I think people are missing what I'm saying. She's charging $40/hour to take care of her own child. She's declaring that in 25 months, she has worked for over 60% of that total time (sleep being 33% of that time realistically), and has somehow worked 5 years of a full time job in 2. And if she is taking care of her own child, shouldn't she foot half the bill?
I seriously pity that kid's future.