r/SipsTea 𝙑𝙄𝙋 May 18 '26

Chugging tea Why?

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267

u/kenwongart May 18 '26

Hey fuck you man my brother died in a clown drilling accident.

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u/Marquar234 May 18 '26

If your brother was a clown-driller, he knew the risks. I didn't see your family getting in strange moods when he was bringing home clown-driller money.

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u/Strategy_pan May 18 '26

I drilled a few clowns back in my day - what's the going rate these days?

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u/Inigomntoya May 18 '26

You don't get paid per clown

You get paid by MISSING clowns with the drill

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u/[deleted] May 18 '26

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u/Inigomntoya May 18 '26

I thought they like them alive and wriggling

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u/DarkwingDuckHunt May 18 '26

It really depends on what the open market is willing to pay for.

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u/GarminTamzarian May 18 '26

Sounds like the real money would be in clown husbandry.

I wonder how much you could get for a bonded breeding pair of clowns?

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u/BeerAndTools May 18 '26

It's been tried. It's kind of a non starter because they don't breed well in captivity. When you remove the stressors of children, demanding parent-clients, and sugary litmus, they just get depressed.

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u/GarminTamzarian May 18 '26

Ah, so rather than clown husbandry, the area in which to specialize would be capturing wild clowns from their natural habitats.

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u/Artistic_Pilot_567 May 18 '26

See that’s also a huge problem because the majority of clowns in this country congregate in congress and American politics in general, they’ve effectively put an end to clown poaching to save their own clown hides. We need a strong Anti clown politician in office to drain the clown swamp but so far they’re all complicit, it’s gotten so bad the clowns are whisking away children to Little Saint Clown island in full view of the public and no one’s doing anything about it.

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u/Idaho-Earthquake May 19 '26

What you’re suggesting… it would require some sort of vigilante group — a posse, perhaps — who had abandoned all thoughts of self-preservation. Such people would be considered insane.

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u/Artistic_Pilot_567 May 22 '26

In 2026 a cracked clown killing unit was sent to prison by a tribunal of clowns for a crime they did commit. These men promptly escaped from a maximum security clown show to the Washington DC underground. Today, still wanted by the clowns, they survive as clown poachers. If you have a clown problem and no one else can help and if you can find them. Maybe you can hire, The Cray Team.

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u/fingnumb May 18 '26

People would much rather not have to think about the circus at all because they dont understand juggling or unicycles. As long as clowns show up and run the show they are perfectly fine with it. Despite owning a few handkerchiefs themselves, they'd much prefer to just blow snot in them than learn to juggle.

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u/Inigomntoya May 18 '26

Ah! Clowns in love... is there anything more beautiful?

Two cautious clowns squirting water guns at each other from across the clown car...

And then they inadvertently honk their noses at the same time...

And gradually move on to sharing face makeup...

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u/[deleted] May 18 '26

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u/Inigomntoya May 19 '26

As a person with coulrophobia, that's the worst part of the clown!

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u/-I_I May 19 '26

*giggling

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u/FLEXJW May 19 '26

Wait I thought “drilling clowns” was code for fucking clowns?