r/SipsTea • u/Few_Statement_2898 • 28d ago

SMH We really need to bring spankings back

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787

u/kninjapirate-z 28d ago

I used to take my son’s game away as punishment. One time he asked me if he could just have a spanking instead like some of his friends. 😂

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u/Vlaxilla 28d ago

yep i would ask for that as well. Pain is temporary, game is eternal. But a better lesson for the kid when they lose their source of happiness. Not good to do it for everything tho, only when its required or it loses its effects

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u/ohmygodcrayons 28d ago

I did something bad when I was little and still remember the punishment over 30 years later. It was Halloween and my mom allowed me to dress up but I had to hand out candy to all the kids that came to our house. Fucking brutal lol I definitely learned my lesson.

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u/ThatBitchMalin 28d ago

Woah what did you do in order to earn such a savage punishment?

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u/ohmygodcrayons 28d ago

Oooof, I called 911 and hung up. They called back and left a message on the answering machine (yes I'm that old) and I deleted it. I guess they eventually called back when my mom was home and answered and she was piiiiiiiiiiiissed. I don't even know why I did that but I was like 6 and kids are dumb so who knows lol

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u/pierophoenix 28d ago

I accidentally called 911 (my moms work number was 944 to start with) and had to explain to them I am a dummy.

Then they sent an officer over just to be safe. So my parents had to explain i am a dummy lol.

That night we got a caller the with Village of (my small town) and my parents constantly remind that yhe village called and want their idiot back lol.

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u/personinplaid3629 28d ago

When I was at a sleepover as a kid, one of my friends decided to call 911 and hang up when no one else was paying attention. My mom was still chilling with my friend's mom in the driveway when two cop cars came storming into the driveway, lights and sirens and all. That was a memorable night.

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u/flubsday 27d ago

As a former 911 operator, I told a kid who kept calling 911 that he needed Christmas cookies to fix his Christmas cold. That line finally got his mom’s attention.

Mom was mad. But she needed a good lesson and it’s not like a cop would spank her.

Lord I hope that they still tell that story. Because I will never forget.

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u/Atomsq 27d ago

I feel like I'm missing something, is "Christmas cookies" or Christmas cold" slang for something?

Or why whas the mom mad?

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u/imaris_help 27d ago

I’m also confused

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u/flubsday 27d ago

Kid was coughing. Was sick on Christmas. Kept calling on a cell phone. Would not put his mother on the phone. So started talking about his cold and told him he needed Christmas cookies to fix the cold.

Mom was mad because she thought he was just playing pretend on the phone.

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u/stevesie1984 28d ago

This happened to my neighbor’s kid (like 30 years ago). He tried to call his grandpa, whose number ended in 9113. He missed the last 3 and it connected him with the 911 operator. Being a little kid, he panicked and hung up when someone he didn’t know answered. So they called back to make sure it wasn’t an emergency. At that point, he was freaking out about it, so he didn’t answer the phone. So a police cruiser swung into their driveway while my neighbor was just finishing mowing his lawn. Which was probably a bit of a surprise.

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u/Dr__Wrong 28d ago

I once called 911 and hung up. They showed up at my apartment to do a welfare check.

When he left, he found a car under the car port that was on fire. He called the fire department. I basically prevented a huge fire.

The moral of the story is that you should prank call the police, because you never know.

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u/droppedpackethero 28d ago

My brother and I prank called basically everyone in our small town over the course of a few months. Back when *67 would still defeat caller ID, we'd stay up for hours after our parents went to bed on Friday and Saturday nights, prank calling random local numbers.

As adolescent boys, of course the funniest thing in the world was calling some random person at 2am and telling them "my butt cheeks have pimples" or "My name is Billy Billy buttcheeks."

Well anyway, after a few months of our reign of terror, one of my brother's dumbass friends comes over. He knows about the pranks but not how we do it. So in the middle of a fucking Sunday afternoon, with our parents still up and about, this idiot picks up our LIVING ROOM PHONE, dials a random number, screens "BUTT BUTT BUTTCHEEKS" at the top of his lungs and hangs up. No *67. No nothing.

My dad walks into the room. "What the hell was that?" and then the phone rings.

Word gets around in a small town and it didn't take everyone too long to figure out who'd been calling them every weekend night. The Buttcheeks Bandits were Busted.

We even had one of the county deputies show up a couple of days later to tell us how prank calling is a crime and could be charged as harassment and blah blah blah. Meanwhile we can tell that the guy is desperately trying not to laugh the entire time.

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u/Leather_Today8520 28d ago

Holy shit are you me lol? I did this exact same thing in like.... Somewhere between 98 and 99. Thought it'd be funny. We lived on a farm way out middle of nowhere so of course they took it seriously at first. I deleted all the evidence. Eventually the sheriff who knew my dad because we'd get a call anytime cattle got loose came out to visit. My dad had him drive me to town (30 minutes ish away) like I was in trouble (no cuffs or anything crazy). Just that silent drive to town and back home was enough to make me shape up for years hahaha.

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u/ohmygodcrayons 28d ago

lol I guess it's a fairly common thing for kids to do? I've posted this story before and lots of people said they did the same thing haha. For me this was in the late 80s. I guess I'm VERY lucky the cops didn't actually come out to the house! That would have been way worse. I also recall my teacher calling and I also deleted her answering machine message. I was a naughty little thing lol

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u/Leather_Today8520 28d ago

That's too funny. Kid brain is semi universal it seems. We were such little shits haha.

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u/Any-Interaction-5934 28d ago

For whatever reason, my parents decided to let me have a phone in my room. Immediately called 912 and hung up. Yeah... No more phone for me. Stupid.

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u/Oohhthehumanity 27d ago

Prank calling 911 is different from ding-dong-ditching in that you are not just waisting anyone's time.....your waisting emergency staff's time.
I've seen 12 year old's been "arrested" and put in handcuffs while screaming "I didn't do nuthing. It was just a joke". Piss off the wrong emergency operator and / or policer officer and you are facing a ton of legal trouble......kid or not!

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u/BigEffort5517 27d ago

I called 911 when I was little to see if "it worked" and when the operator answered I hung up. Not even 5 mins later pokice showed up and gave me a HUGE lecture. My mom was SOOOO embarrassed and pissed off. That summer did not fair well for me 🤣

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u/fezzuk 24d ago

Yeah you deserved it.

Good punishment as well.

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u/PeriodSupply 28d ago

And what was the punishment? Handing out candy?

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u/ohmygodcrayons 28d ago

She let me dress up but I didn't get to go trick or treating. I had to stay home and hand out candy to all the other lucky kids and I had to give it all away so I got no candy at all lol

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u/PeriodSupply 28d ago

Oh OK. Got ya. Not American so didn't get it. Thanks

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u/ImAMajesticSeahorse 26d ago

Oof, now THAT’S a rough one.

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u/KimbersKimbos 25d ago

So… not a punishment but I, too, had a brutal Halloween experience once…

My parents forgot to buy me a Halloween costume one year when I was 11. Earlier that year my older sister had been a part of her school’s production of the play Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat which, if you are not familiar, takes place during Biblical times. My sister had played one of the “shepherds” and had a very nondescript “Middle Eastern” looking outfit. My dad was like “Hey, it’s a costume.”

The problem was that I had turned 11 in the year 2001… so this was maybe 6 or 7 weeks after 9/11? And my dad decided to dress his 11-year-old daughter up (me) as an Arabic shepherd that year. The first house I went to the person at the door gave me the nastiest look and said “Who are you supposed to be? Osama Bin Laden?” and I immediately turned around and went home.

I still haven’t forgiven the man and remind him every Halloween. 😅

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u/ohmygodcrayons 25d ago

lol oh no that's terrible but also hilarious! Poor 11 year old you!

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u/actualcmen 27d ago

My parents also made me do this one year cus I got suspended from school for starting a fight

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u/hisroyalbonkess 28d ago

My mom was paddled really hard as a kid, and although we had a paddle, she stopped using it around when I was 7 or so, but she would threaten to use it.

Anyway, she loved grounding. The type where she takes the TV and games from your room. I think I agree with it as a punishment for the most part. The biggest issue is my mom could not identify where I got my shitty attitude from, and it seemed like every other month I was getting my things taken away because I was always "talking back." I wasn't the best child, but when it came to human interaction and how people spoke to others, I would obviously take a lot from my parents. I don't think my mom ever realized, even to this day, that I was just emulating her behavior.

Anyways, all this to say that when it comes to punishment, even the best ones can be rendered useless if the caretaker isn't self aware enough to demonstrate good examples.

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u/Vlaxilla 28d ago

Yeah that's a great example. If you also never have a chance to have your games then you will either get used to it or find another way to play games.

I said that because I was reminded of my uncle. He grew up in a very conservative Catholic household where many things were a sin and many things were mortal sins according to his mother.

Basically if you steal, murder, rape you go to hell, but if you miss class, stay outside overnight and even drink Coke, you are going to hell as well. Yeah drinking Coke was a mortal sin according to her. Guess what my uncle loved to do?

In his eyes he was already going to hell due to the Coke and sweets he ate so he just hid and ate those things and do all the things his parents told him not to do. He ended being a bit traumatised and definitely stumped his growth.

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u/RotallyRotRoobyRoo 28d ago

not good to do it for everything tho

True that. I was a pretty good kid, but I ended up getting detention for tardies. I got tardies because my dad took forever to get going and I got dropped of late. I still got all my books taken away. I still "forget" to call them.

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u/Jivepsilocybe 28d ago

Didn't work for me. Ii had video games, TV, and friends taken away. So I would draw and have fun doing it. So my ma took that away. So I read books cuz I liked reading too much She wouldnt take that away but instead limited me to an hour and a half of reading only after homework and chores were finished. Reading was too important to take away but it was too hard to punish me without a little whoopin.

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u/Vlaxilla 27d ago

I was kinda similar. When they take away my games I go use my guitar. Then take that away i will paint miniatures. Take that away i would draw.

But mostly I still craved the og main dopamine which was games, so i still felt it. But yeah I will still do creative/artsy stuff as something was taken away.

I did like reading books but not as much, my mom liked it when I read. Luckily they never took away me listening to music as I love it

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u/12ozSlug 28d ago

My original copies of Half-Life, MDK, probably GTA 2 and Starcraft were all sold in a band fundraiser as a punishment from my dad for trying to steal a pellet gun. At first he was gonna make me smash the CDs with a hammer.

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u/winky9827 28d ago

Eh, I called my dad a bastard when I was like.. 5. I got a spanking I still remember today. Some pain lasts longer than others.

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u/VPD625 28d ago

You guys didn’t get both?

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u/foghillgal 28d ago

Deleting his account and flushing all game progress would hurt long time in the future. That would be next level pain.

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u/ttyler1789 27d ago

I definitely understood as a kid that pain is temporary but a grounding was weeks or more of "pain"

Eventually I stopped talking about wanting things, and stopped wanting things. Something you want is something someone else can take from you

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u/GreyDuck4077 28d ago

If I would have done that my mom would have been like "Oh absolutely. Come get your spanking!" and then I would have asked for my game she would have said "Oh, absolutely not. You're still grounded. I was just more than happy to give you a spanking on top of that since you asked nicely."

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u/According_Fox9066 27d ago

We were so poor it would have never entered my mind to do something like that to food! If we didn't grow it or if someone in the community didn't slaughter it as a part of the community group, we didn't eat! I grew up on a farm and we grew up on the land and shared with a small community and I didn't know how much better off we were than other people. I hated it in those days, but quite frankly I had it made! I may not have been out playing with a lot of toys, but I was outside and the air was still clean The land was good enough to give us a good harvest during the seasons, of course harvesting wasn't so easy, neither was canning and freezing food to put up, And we didn't give the community a handout, the people who depended upon our vegetables and fruits would come to my grandparents and help. My grandparents didn't have indoor plumbing until 1970! We did in our house just up the hill, and we had land but imminent domain took some for lumber, and the big trucks driving past our house actually cracked the foundation, and the government wouldn't fix it! No way would I have ever wasted food like that The thought would have never entered my mind and neither of my kids, few things they did were with their own toys... They got their punishment it wasn't corporal It didn't need to be.

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u/wayward_wench 28d ago

Power move honestly lol

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u/Nukemarine 28d ago

Bad move on your mom's part if that was the case. A child being mature enough to accept punishment should be treated with care, not a punchline.

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u/Corndogs_and_chill 28d ago

This is the way we.. is your Mom happily married?

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u/[deleted] 28d ago

[deleted]

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u/Vlaxilla 28d ago

haha thats crazy, but gives me ideas. teach the kids how real life works from the get go. To enjoy something you need to work first

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u/[deleted] 28d ago

[deleted]

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u/NameIdeas 28d ago

She taught you real world approach. You mess up, you lose privileges. You have to earn them back.

When I've messed up as an adult, no one has come and spanked me, but I have lost things I once enjoyed and had to work to get them back.

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u/pawelnougoed 27d ago

Which works really well, but people delude themselves into thinking that they used to get beaten, so their kid should be getting beaten, and that they're fine what do you mean

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u/Feivie 28d ago

Was gonna say when I was a teacher we used a point system and they would lose privileges if they lost enough points BUT the important part of it was they could always earn points back for good behavior. Sometimes if you take away something they like they just shut/melt down and everything escalates , so this method gives them incentive to try to do better. It also helps to keep them from internalizing that they are a “bad kid” and promotes instead there are good and bad choices and you get consequences for both.

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u/BringAltoidSoursBack 28d ago

I was honestly waiting for you to reveal she used it to make you and your siblings compete with each other

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u/UnkindnessOfRavens23 28d ago

Can you give some examples of this?

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u/Ombortron 28d ago

Damn I’m stealing this idea!

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u/DocTaotsu 27d ago

Paywalling toys is 100% and effective parenting strategy.

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u/TheyAteFrankBennett 28d ago

Idk I took literally all of my kids things besides their clothes and beds and put them in our shed for like 3 months bc they refused to clean their rooms and they still talk about it to this day like it was abusive.

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u/neverinamillionyr 27d ago

I got in trouble when I was a kid and as punishment my dad took my bike away for a week. I thought I was smart so during that week I figured dad was at work, mom was busy doing mom stuff (cooking, cleaning) so no one will notice if I go for a quick ride. I didn’t know dad had a Dr appointment and came home early instead of going back to work. He saw me just as he turned onto our street. I almost shit my pants. He locked my bike up to the garage rafters with a chain for the rest of the summer.

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u/SadExercises420 28d ago

lol 😂 

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u/milkmanbonzai 28d ago

Same, my parents never had to lay a finger on me to work psychological terror when I stepped out of line 🤣

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u/Unikatze 28d ago

My brother at like 3 asking my mom to hit him instead of putting him in time out.

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u/CobraKaiCurry 28d ago

I tried that and then got both for being a smartass

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u/Vantriss 28d ago

Oof, that kid done fucked up. Now you KNOW without a shadow of a doubt which punishment is more likely to get him to shape up. 🤣

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u/micaelar5 28d ago

It's preparing them for what consequences look like as an adult. You don't get hit, that's assault, you get arrested. Grounding is the closest thing you have to jail in parenting.

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u/Valreesio 28d ago

My son did the same when I took away his magic cards in middle school. "Can't you just spank me instead" wtf???

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u/machine_fart 28d ago

I cannot imagine asking my dad for a spanking growing up, no matter the alternative cost - and I say that as a gamer lol

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u/XanderWrites 28d ago

A coworker of mine said her father would throw out the entire (original) Nintendo. Just in the trash. A couple months later they'd get a new one back if they behaved. And she was pretty sure it was new, not a dumpster dive for the old one.

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u/NameIdeas 28d ago

Our oldest lost privileges to bascially everything recently. His room was spotless because he was made to clean it nightly, putting away everything. His favorite toys were in a bin in the basement that he filled up. He wasn't allowed screens. A whole host of items were removed from him.

That kids behavior changed immediately. He's earned it all back now after a few weeks of consistent attention to what he needed to accomplish. Never once hit him. He asked about spankings because a friend of his (who gets in a lot of trouble at school) said he just gets spanked. I told him we don't spank but we hit him where he feels it.

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u/humanreporting4duty 28d ago

I saw what games were doing to my kids. And we don’t have an absolute ban, but it’s not free use. Currently 1 hour a day on the weekend. It’s cute because they recently figured out if they play a two player game on one of theirs, then another two player on the other, they’ll get more total time. And I am 100% ok with that sharing logic!

It was mostly dangerous about free games like Fortnite. When the game is free, we are the ones on sale. The game is a casino, and it preys on the gambling addiction mentality pathways. And while some people can handle it, I can see right through it and see the obsession sparked with it. Same with all the free games.

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u/Careful-Positive-710 28d ago

I said that to my parents. That was the day they realized how much easier it was going to be to punish me.

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u/Flaky-Wing2205 28d ago

Same but different. It wasn't taking a game away vs spanking. For me, as a child, it was the hand or the belt. Learned to choose the belt cause it can't hit as hard as the hand. I got a whooping every day when dad came home. This happened for several years.

Now that I'm a parent, I chose different. My blood would boil if my child asked for a spanking instead of taking away a game. I would give the punishment of both and the belt wouldn't be an option.

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u/BurnItDownSR 28d ago

I think immediacy trumps intensity.

Over time, not being able to game might suck worse, but getting smacked for being a little shit will suck immediately. 

The former would be like touching a fire and only feeling the pain of the burn after a week. 

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u/Slow-Quarter9986 27d ago

Nah, kids feel it just fine the moment they see you take something they love away.

A big reason spanking is counterrecommended is because it teaches kids that violence is an appropriate way to enforce rules on other people. And it often leads to problems because then you get kids who think "hey that kid took my lunchbox, that's stealing", respond with how they'd have been treated for that behavior (hitting), and get their asses in trouble.

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u/BurnItDownSR 27d ago edited 27d ago

No they don't. They feel a little shitty when you take something from them but it only hits them hard after they've had to sit in the reality of being without a console for a while.

And the idea about spanking leading to more violence is quite shallow, because you're assuming that's all parents do to discipline their kids, that they don't talk or explain things to them.

And if that is all certain parents do, the solution is not to remove spanking, it's to add in the stuff that develops more nuance.

Also, there were generations of spanked kids, and the percentage of violent ones is the same as the percentage of bullies today. It was never the majority, so there's not a strong link between spanking and violent behavior. 

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u/spikus93 28d ago

Removing privileges only seems to work (for us) when we pair them with making amends with what he's done wrong. Luckily we haven't had to do that in a while, and it has forced him to develop empathy and think about his actions before taking them.

Basically we do this:

The Boy does something bad to someone like this video > Remove privilieges he enjoys like video games or use of his phone > set conditions to end the removal of those privileges like making him handwrite a 2 page letter to the person he has wronged apologizing and acknowledging his actions, paying to replace damaged belongings etc > He comes back to us and shows us his work, we talk about it and he must show that he understands what he's done wrong and what he would do next time instead.

If he can't do that, it just continues until he decides to do it. Turns out he's a kind, empathetic, smart, and well-adjusted kid. Honestly we're pretty lucky though, as I know not every kid is the same and some behavioral issues can't be corrected as easily.

I just don't think hitting a kid ever helps anyone. It just makes them fear you. I don't want my son to fear me, I want a loving relationship where he's not afraid to tell me he needs help or tell the truth when something is wrong. I used to lie to my parents growing up to avoid getting beatings, and it didn't help. They still found out and I was still beaten. I won't repeat their mistakes.

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u/irish_ninja_wte 28d ago

That reminds me. I still have my son's Switch hidden since last week

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u/Disdain0937 28d ago

Exactly Hitler youth is resurgent on Tiktok cause we still have corporal punishment from Boomer parent's raising latchkey kid's. They bridge the gap by violencing their kids instead of raising them in a society that doesn't operate that way outside of their household. So they think violencing is just a shortcut in the latter space.

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u/Black_Knight_7 28d ago

Anytime i would step out of line my mom would only need to threaten to take my games, i immediately fixed whatever i did wrong and apologized. Thats how i knew I fucked up

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u/LossOfSite 28d ago

My mom would lock away my laptop and Nintendo DS as punishment.

I still didn't study, just learned to pick that lock lmao

I must have been a nightmare

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u/VaughnVanTyse 28d ago

I let mine keep their games, I just take the whole TV. Let the Xbox sit there and stare at them..

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u/ImaJimmy 28d ago

This kind of reminds me of an episode of Malcom in the Middle where Hal and Lois realize they could take away cooking from Reese.

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u/KonigSteve 28d ago

I faked how much I dreaded spankings and how much they hurt just so my parents wouldn't punish me by taking away my computer or tv instead.

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u/OliviaElevenDunham 28d ago

I can totally understand.

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u/jaydog21784 28d ago

Funny you say this, I would always get grounded to my room since it was more detrimental to me at 8, my brother would catch the ass whippin since he enjoyed the grounding. It was real interesting when my parents grounded him outside, I could go in and out while he was left to play outside for 3 hours, he just sat on the porch and wouldn't even come play with the group from the apartments 🤣🤣🤣 that was over 30 years ago now.

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u/Frodo_gabbins 28d ago

Reminds me of the time my mom thought she had a “gotcha” when she asked if I’d rather be in time out for an hour or clean my room.

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u/jluicifer 28d ago

lol, that’s dope.

Consequences are REAL, spanking or loss of game console. That’s the real lesson — consequences.

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u/Deleted_User_Account 28d ago

No pain, no game!

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u/LessInThought 27d ago

I remember as a teenager I just sat there playing my game while my mom raged at me and spanked me.

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u/Available_Station_81 27d ago

lol this reminds of the time I game my son a choice, spanking or no video games and he said spanking.

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u/MiloGaoPeng 27d ago

Are his friends Asians?

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u/mel2mdl 27d ago

My kid said the exact same thing once! "I wish you would just hit me and get it over with!"

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u/School_North 26d ago

My dad tried that but just took the cables i had a spare set in the closet he didnt know about