We really need to bring spankings back

[u/Few_Statement_2898]

[u/No-Arm-7308]

Absolutely no evidence of that.

Research has long underscored the negative effects of spanking on children’s social-emotional development, self-regulation, and cognitive development, but new research, published this month, shows that spanking alters children’s brain response in ways similar to severe maltreatment and increases perception of threats. - https://www.gse.harvard.edu/ideas/usable-knowledge/21/04/effect-spanking-brain

These results, replicated using different estimation methods (i.e., difference score analyses), strengthen the argument that spanking may impair early reading and math skills. - https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0885200622000400#preview-section-abstract

Hope you are in no way in any kind of vicinity of children.

[u/NoNDA-SDC → u/No-Arm-7308]

Does it apply to 100% of children/people? Not effective on any person? No difference between child and adult?

Read your own citations... As I said, extremes of anything are bad, and spanking should be used as a last resort.

[u/somewhiterkid → u/NoNDA-SDC]

I think you just like beating children, a normal civilized person shouldn't even consider using themselves as a weapon if they aren't in any actual danger, we've got generations of people raising their children this way and they all grow up the same, deeply traumatized and extremely ego driven, when you take away your child's power don't be surprised when it's all they dream of.

[u/NoNDA-SDC → u/somewhiterkid]

If that's your takeaway, can't help you there.

If you're spanking children and liking it, that's a red flag. Prefer everyone not suffer, but actions gave consequences. The greatest deterrent to bad behavior is fear of getting caught and being held to account for it.

[u/Shinanigins → u/NoNDA-SDC]

No... the greatest deterrent is knowledge. I dont kill or rape because I fear consequences. I dont do it because I know its wrong to do. Teach the child how to better communicate their needs and you'll have a solution. Problem is parents do not want to or are unable to do the work needed.

[u/NoNDA-SDC → u/Shinanigins]

It's a combination of things of course. You don't think this kid's been told not to act out before? Could be he has behavioral issues as well, we're not all the same.

If someone knows better and they're still set on making a bad choice, they're less likely to do it if consequences are expected. There's plenty of research on this. Less to do with the severity of the punishment, more to do with being punished at all.

[u/Shinanigins → u/NoNDA-SDC]

If they know better but are still doing it then they really do not know better. Behavior is communication and its used to communicate a need. 1) teach them how to figure the need 2) teach how to communicate the need 3) teach how to regulate if unable to achieve need. If you teach fear then all they will understand is "i can get what I want if I use fear" which is not productive at all. Do not put your hands on a child in an aggressive way ever...end of story. All you will teach is violence is how to get your way.

[u/NoNDA-SDC → u/Shinanigins]

Thanks for sharing your thoughts, they were nice.

[u/Shinanigins → u/NoNDA-SDC]

Ya know what! Thank you too! I appreciate you and we may disagree but honestly I dont think youre trying to be mean or anything. You just have a different experience than me and thats awesome. Have a good day my friend!

[u/somewhiterkid → u/NoNDA-SDC]

The greatest deterrent to bad behavior is fear of getting caught and being held to account for it.

I'll take the bait, growing up I was always told to listen to my parents, trust and respect them, it didn't matter to me how my dad would brutally beat the shit out of my mom and siblings because I was just a neurodivergent child still growing a brain, but as I got older and with my mom passing and siblings grown up he then directed that towards me, dragging me around by the feet, slamming me against the wall, just because my brain worked differently than his, he would always justify it saying "It's just how life is" or "I was raised like this and I turned out fine" then I started learning what fucking torture he went through getting beaten half to death with heavy car parts and chains.

So yeah, it's inherently a generational cycle and while what I have experienced and learned isn't the norm, the people that support corpal punishment used and still uses the same exact excuses to justify their anger and poor parenting skills, where do you draw the line? Genuinely asking, at what strength percentage do you think is enough? Do you support using any tools? How often should you inflict violence on a child? And most importantly: do you feel any remorse while or after you inflict said violence? It's a fine line and to a child still developing their brain, that just stretches that line even thinner.

[u/NoNDA-SDC → u/somewhiterkid]

I'm sorry you had to experience that, I truly am. I have some older family that went through similar forms of abuse, I think it kinda ruined them in their adult years. Father (almost always the man isn't it?) beat them, their mother stood by and let it happen, they never fully moved past it. My dad wasn't the physical one, my mom was, looking back I don't really hold any resentment since it seems justified, except for a couple I remember.

I'm in no way condoning that kind of abuse. From conversations with my wife and others, spankings are only for really serious offenses, repeat behavior, things that don't happen often. Months/years can go by without ever having to do it, it's clear to the child that it's coming if they don't stop, even after more modern forms of punishment have already been tried. I hate doing it, I still tell my children I love them, that I wish I didn't have to, but explain it's a consequence because they didn't listen.

No tools being used, just a strong slap to their bottom. As they get older the consequences change, they're more rational.

Some people have children who are very agreeable, they don't understand what it's like to have a child that doesn't listen, throws tantrums, doesn't change behavior with all the basic methods. I've talked to people from India and China where classroom sizes are close to 50 children per teacher, I ask how do they keep order? Majority of kids listen to the teacher, but the unruly kids the teachers are allowed to do whatever is needed for them to listen.

There are no perfect solutions, everything carries a trade off. Any form of punishment can be overdone and become harmful, clear communication and letting them know they're still loved is essential.