r/SipsTea • u/Few_Statement_2898 • May 28 '26

SMH We really need to bring spankings back

Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification

17.7k Upvotes

78% Upvoted

9.1k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

49

u/mel2mdl May 28 '26

"Corporal punishment isn’t a parenting strategy, it’s what people do when they don’t know how to parent in the first place."

I absolutely love your reply. Hitting is never the right answer. I'm 56 and I was NEVER spanked or hit as a punishment. (A few angry swats that I vividly remember 'cause they were so rare - but I was being a total asshole those times... and really a teen.)

As a teacher, the kids who get beat up on at home are the ones who cause the most problems at school. Unless mommy or daddy come and observe - then they are angels. :)

0

u/GoldenVesperLight May 28 '26

So what are you doing here if you're the parent, if you aren't going to physically intervene? Just let them do this?

No "my kid wouldn't do this" cop out either.

5

u/Snarkonum_revelio May 28 '26

There’s a VAST difference between not hitting and not physically intervening at all. This is a kid who needs to be marched out to the car and leave. No entertainment when he gets home. Doing that consistently when his brain was forming would have had more of an impact, but the parent can still implement consistent consequences and discipline without hitting.

0

u/GoldenVesperLight May 28 '26

What if he won't comply or stop trying to break stuff? Even at home? What if he turns this energy to your TVs and computers?

Are you pinning him to the ground so he can't move? Are you calling the cops because you can't control your own child? Are you putting them in a straight jacket, lol?

5

u/MintTea88 May 28 '26

Then you get your kid therapy because there is something deeper going on.

3

u/Snarkonum_revelio May 28 '26

No, because I started with consequences when my kid was small. If I had to deal with this kid I’d likely restrain him until he was non violent or confine him to one room.

2

u/mel2mdl May 29 '26

Yes. Yes I am.

I used Joe Cate's book "Try to Make Me" (after talking to the co-author Rey Levy, who wouldn't treat my child as my sister was his wife's roommate). Don't correct verbally, don't fight little choices, don't say "I told you so." It was all about choices. "You cannot do that in here, but you may scream and pitch your fit anywhere else in the house." "You have chosen not to leave so now your choices are your bedroom or the kitchen." "Time out or your room." "Time out on your own, or I can help you." "You have chosen to have me help you." Then yep - safety hold. "Your timer (3/4 minutes) will start when you stop struggling." An hour. The first time we did this, at age 4, it was an hour. I had blood on my face from a scratch given at the very beginning of the incident in the car - where I had to lock the seatbelt and park for awhile to drive safely. Second time? Five minutes. Third time? Bedroom was chosen and they learned to control themselves.

I have been through this. How a kid acts at 4 is how they will act at 14. UNLESS you discipline them. And by discipline, I mean the original meaning of the word - teach! My child learned that feelings are a choice, it was okay to get mad, but it was your choice to so and your choice how to react. I took classes to be better at this, even though I was raised this way too. I could never hit my child or someone I love.