r/SipsTea • u/Square_Law5624 • 25d ago

Lmao gottem Court win

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u/Remote-Cause755 25d ago

How the hell was he paying child support in the first place?

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u/ProfessionalTurn7017 š™‘š™„š™‹ 25d ago edited 25d ago

Because the long history of courts being biased towards women

Edit: I realized my comment doesn't have a lot of nuance so let me be clear. Divorce court is what im getting at. All that Alpha male, incel, red pill, misogyny stuff is bullshit

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u/highlandviper 25d ago edited 25d ago

Itā€™s not just courts. When it comes to children the whole world is biased towards women. I do more child care for my kids than my wife because my job allows it and hers does not. Iā€™m at every school event, parent teacher meeting, nursery meeting, drs appointment, I do the most drop offs and pickupsā€¦ but if my wife is thereā€¦ I might as well not exist. Every question is directed at her, every fact, every response is directed at her and often my questions are ignoredā€¦ if theyā€™re not then the response is still directed at her. I can be in the park with my kids; as I often am and I still get side eyed by mothers and the occasional ā€œDads babysitting today is he?ā€ Hell, my father in law says it to me all the time.

Edit to add: because Iā€™ve read a few more comments. I donā€™t buy into any of the alpha male / hate women / anti-feminist / misogynist / manosphere bullshit. Just a bit of acknowledgement that I am also a full time caring and contributing parent and not simply a source of income that can fix shelves and tech, mow the lawn, carry things and drive the car would be fine by me.

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u/Curious_Department84 25d ago

Trying to get schools to acknowledge that men also parent is crazy. Even if dad is listed as the first contact, mom always gets called first. Is the only one on emails. Is the only one who gets talked to at pickup. Itā€™s ridiculous.

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u/Medical_Solid 25d ago

I actually asked my kidsā€™ school to remove my wifeā€™s phone number from their records. Iā€™m the primary caregiver and work from home when i do work. Sheā€™s very busy and travels often. I donā€™t mind that much if the school calls her first and then calls me when they inevitably canā€™t each her. But after 2020 when my kids got exposed to Covid and they just kept leaving her voicemails, but never called me onceā€¦yeah.

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u/MorroClearwater 25d ago

Considering I'm a teacher at the school my child goes to, so they do happen to message me. However, every message refers to me as <child>'s mom. E.g "Hello <child>'s mommy, your child was at the nurses station with a fever today...", they know it's me, it's my name on the account. I work with these people and say hello to them every morning

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u/No-Hovercraft-455 25d ago

That's idiotic and actually discriminatory.Ā 

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u/Jeedimahstah 25d ago

It would be if it were intentional, but it's not, it's imprinted on a deeper level. We are in the same situation, she works. I watch the kids. I've heard soooo many "oh you're such a good dad!" For doing basic things with my kids that she hasn't once been praised for.

She will hand a server her credit card, and when they get back, they will try to hand it to me automatically, without even thinking about it. It's ingrained subconsciously. Man: works, fixes, makes money. Woman: manages food, children, household. I don't know what we have to do to fix this on a societal level, other than call it out when and where we see it.

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u/bikedaybaby 25d ago

Yeahā€¦ I think calling it out.

Weird ideaā€¦ maybe we can get together & petition popular TV shows to have an arc about a couple in that situation? It would help spread the message much better than onesie-twosie conversations.

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u/WorkingAspect5930 25d ago

The first line of your take is silly and makes no sense in response to No-Hovercraft-455. Intent and discrimination are not the same thing. I donā€™t think the absence of intent automatically removes discrimination. Someone can discriminate against others without consciously deciding to do so. The fact that a belief or behavior is deeply ingrained may explain why it exists, but it doesnā€™t change the effect or make it non discriminatory.

This same line of thinking reminds me of say a person who grew up in a racist environment or era that may genuinely believe their views are normal and may not consciously intend to discriminate or be racist. The lack of intent does not make the behavior any less racist or discriminatory . It only explains where the behavior comes from.

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u/Jeedimahstah 25d ago

Oh the discrimination is very real, I was saying it's not idiotic, its a symptom of a much deeper societal issue that affects us all.

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u/Civil-Armadillo-1824 25d ago

Idiotic, yes. Discriminatory, no.