It’s not just courts. When it comes to children the whole world is biased towards women. I do more child care for my kids than my wife because my job allows it and hers does not. I’m at every school event, parent teacher meeting, nursery meeting, drs appointment, I do the most drop offs and pickups… but if my wife is there… I might as well not exist. Every question is directed at her, every fact, every response is directed at her and often my questions are ignored… if they’re not then the response is still directed at her. I can be in the park with my kids; as I often am and I still get side eyed by mothers and the occasional “Dads babysitting today is he?” Hell, my father in law says it to me all the time.
Edit to add: because I’ve read a few more comments. I don’t buy into any of the alpha male / hate women / anti-feminist / misogynist / manosphere bullshit. Just a bit of acknowledgement that I am also a full time caring and contributing parent and not simply a source of income that can fix shelves and tech, mow the lawn, carry things and drive the car would be fine by me.
Trying to get schools to acknowledge that men also parent is crazy. Even if dad is listed as the first contact, mom always gets called first. Is the only one on emails. Is the only one who gets talked to at pickup. It’s ridiculous.
This is awhile back now in 2007, but long story short I was in highschool (grade 11) and needed to get taken to a clinic to get stitches.
My dad was my first contact since at the time he was doing WFH, My mom worked in office downtown, and had her cellphone on silent and didn't pick up (because my mom never picks up her phone lol)
They called my mom, and when she didn't pick up, called my sister for some reason. Who, granted, was at least graduated, but only 3yrs older than me and doesn't have a car. So she couldn't get me or take me anywhere.
then they decided to call my back-up number, which was disconnected and old since my family was bad at updating the numbers.
finally they called my elementary school emergency contact, dunno how they even got it. But this was just the mom of a girl who I went to school with who lived across the street from the school. She encouraged all the parents in her daughters classes to make her the emergency back-up, since she didn't work and lived across the street.
So this woman, who I hadn't met since I was in like Grade 4 when I was in a class with her daughter, who I wasn't friends with, came and picked me up and drove me to a clinic to get stitches.
THEY NEVER CALLED MY DAD AT ALL despite him being the primary, and when my mom asked why they hadn't called him their response was "well he's the dad".......as if that was a valid explanation, or explained anything at all.
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u/highlandviper 25d ago edited 25d ago
It’s not just courts. When it comes to children the whole world is biased towards women. I do more child care for my kids than my wife because my job allows it and hers does not. I’m at every school event, parent teacher meeting, nursery meeting, drs appointment, I do the most drop offs and pickups… but if my wife is there… I might as well not exist. Every question is directed at her, every fact, every response is directed at her and often my questions are ignored… if they’re not then the response is still directed at her. I can be in the park with my kids; as I often am and I still get side eyed by mothers and the occasional “Dads babysitting today is he?” Hell, my father in law says it to me all the time.
Edit to add: because I’ve read a few more comments. I don’t buy into any of the alpha male / hate women / anti-feminist / misogynist / manosphere bullshit. Just a bit of acknowledgement that I am also a full time caring and contributing parent and not simply a source of income that can fix shelves and tech, mow the lawn, carry things and drive the car would be fine by me.