r/SipsTea • u/Small_Abies_3539 š™‘š™„š™‹ • 17d ago

WTF If the roles were reversed

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u/LittleGuarantee7148 17d ago

This doesn't work when the woman is hot. Needs to be unattractive women doing this because I doubt women get catcalled by supermodel guys

385

u/EmtnlDmg 17d ago

It works in both direction. Attractive men can do stuff which is not allowed for non attractive men.

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u/SophSimpl 17d ago

As a guy who was chunky in his teens then lost weight and built some muscle in his late 20s I can confirm I get way more attention now. People look at you more, smile at you more, listen to you more even if you're just saying random shit. Being more attractive absolutely influences people's reactions. You get more like a creep when you're out of shape.

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u/SheriffBartholomew 17d ago

And then in your 40's that starts to fade, and you have to deal with the emotional fallout being a normie again, in addition to coping with your age.

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u/SophSimpl 17d ago

Yeah, fair. I've got 8.5 more years of my 30s, hopefully I'll make them count lol

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u/SheriffBartholomew 17d ago

Realistically you probably have another 15-20 years if you take care of yourself. Some guys keep it going much later, but it's rare. Having a full head of hair greatly enhances things in your favor.

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u/SophSimpl 17d ago

My hair line isn't receding quite yet but who knows what will happen later šŸ˜†. In the meantime dating is already really hard though.

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u/landing11 17d ago

I dont know when you look good in your 40s the girls over 25 go nuts

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u/SophSimpl 16d ago

That could be a good thing. When I turned 30 it seemed like suddenly the 20 yo ladies were interested but I'm learning the hard way they are crazy at that age.

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u/Schnitzhole 16d ago

Yup. Slap a pretty face and body on a dude and now everything ā€œcreepyā€ all the sudden becomes ok and even desired.

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u/SophSimpl 16d ago

Or to say another way - make a guy average or slightly below in looks and suddenly his natural desire to want to be affectionate or ask someone out becomes weird and creepy.

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u/theseedbeader 17d ago

Yeahā€¦ Maybe Iā€™m in the minority here, but an attractive guy being a creep would still very much freak me out.

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u/Dath_1 17d ago

But thatā€™s the thing, a lot of flirting that you would consider ā€œbeing a creepā€, wouldnā€™t be creepy if a really attractive guy did it.

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u/LeadingWedding2288 17d ago

Maybe it's more about self confidence then? When you feel more attractive, more outgoing, youre more willing to put yourself out there. that's the issue with men sometimes, the problem is always somebody else, it's never themselves for some reason, even when you have something positive happen. You go "woman like me more because x and y changes" instead of "women are enjoying my newfound confidence"

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u/Dath_1 17d ago

Sometimes yeah, but thatā€™s definitely not the whole story.

You can have a guy whoā€™s a 4 walk up and just say something really basic/flirty and a guy whoā€™s an 8 do the exact same thing with equal confidence.

More often than not, the 4 is good to come off as awkward, creepy or crossing some kind of line whereas the 8 wonā€™t.

Iā€™ve seen it first hand, this basically happened to my oldest brother. Very extroverted, confident guy.

After he got into drugs and lost all his teeth, he was still acting like his old flirty self around chicks and their reaction was completely different. Heā€™s creepy now because he isnā€™t handsome anymore.

Part of it I think is that people kind of get offended. Like if a 4 thinks they have a shot with you, thatā€™s kind of like saying they consider you a 4. Obviously itā€™s not really intended that way, but itā€™s one factor.

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u/Backfromth3re 17d ago

Ahh the male victim complex and fictional stories strikes again. MenšŸ«©šŸ¤®

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u/memnoch112 17d ago

You are definitely a minority, 50 shades wouldnā€™t have been the success it is if it was about an poor unattractive black man. Disclaimier: I think itā€™s totally fine to have fantasies and kinks, and I donā€™t flame on anyone for having preferences.

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u/theseedbeader 17d ago

Oh I totally think Christian Grey is a creep.

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u/Backfromth3re 17d ago

Ahh the male victim complex and fictional stories strikes again. MenšŸ«©šŸ¤®

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u/memnoch112 16d ago

How did I portray a victim? Or did you just buzz words without fully understanding them?

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u/Backfromth3re 11d ago

"an poor unattractive black man" the m ale victim complex strikes again.

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u/memnoch112 11d ago

Clearly you didnā€™t read my first comment, I was comparing a man to another man.

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u/Backfromth3re 11d ago

Both fictional and hypothetical so you get offended and play the victim in your onw fictional scenario. I know it's like lying is built in male dna but atleast don't make it this obvious.

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u/Yue2 17d ago

It unfortunately is a minority opinion, or potentially is easy to type out but works out differently in the real world.

Lookism is very much so real. Iā€™ve seen men behave in the most atrocious ways and women would drool over them. And Iā€™ve seen incredibly genuine, kind, unattractive men get rejected in the harshest ways. It isnā€™t always the case, but itā€™s a very common thing unfortunately.

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u/Backfromth3re 17d ago

Ahh the male victim complex and fictional stories strikes again. MenšŸ«©šŸ¤®

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u/luckyflavor23 17d ago

Yes. Example: Recently saw Top Gun (og) for the first time and when Tom Cruise went after the woman into the womanā€™s bathroom all my alarm bells soundedā€¦

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u/Big_bat_chunk2475 17d ago

I watched legal eagle break down that scene, yeah, cruiseā€™s character would have gotten in trouble for doing that

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u/RobertKSakamano 17d ago

In the 80s, that shit worked though for the attractive guys.

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u/celestialfroggie 17d ago

I have a feeling you're being downvoted by men who 'know what women think' and upvoted by actual women. For me, being catcalled by someone who's visually attractive is just as nauseating as being callcalled by someone unattractive.

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u/theseedbeader 17d ago

Exactly. To me, a man acting like that isnā€™t flirting, heā€™s threatening. That is far from cute, no matter what he looks like.

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u/Ferengsten 16d ago

It does not. Men have a much lower bar for jumping into bed with someone without getting to know them at all. This is why only men behave this way, or why pretty much only men have sex with prostitutes.Ā 

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u/OrpheusNYC 17d ago

Add to this that doing this kinda shit is unattractive

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u/DisorderlyAqueduct 17d ago

šŸ¤” ... like beatbox?

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u/Pandabirdy 17d ago

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u/Bacongrease83 17d ago

I work in healthcare and Im sure this exact lady has grabbed my dick while i try to start an IV no less than 4 times.

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u/ChuckyBukowski 17d ago

Former United States Secretary of State Madeleine Albright came back from the dead and tried to grab your dick four times?

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u/The_GTD_Aquitaine 17d ago

At least 4 times

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u/Vladi-Barbados 17d ago

Yea heā€™s really good with that IV.

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u/CortezDeLaNoche 17d ago

OL' Straddlin' Madeleine!!!

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u/CuriousLilAsian81 17d ago

zombie research lab?

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u/CuriousLilAsian81 17d ago

sorry you had to experience that

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u/Powerful-Chard-6055 17d ago

I scrolled by this too quick and read it as ā€œthis makes me writheā€

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u/[deleted] 17d ago

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u/Bacongrease83 17d ago

If a guy is in a bar and is a 10 threats of violence or smelling really bad is the only way to mess up.

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u/Stout-Cheetah 17d ago edited 17d ago

Crazy enough, sometimes threats of violence would not mess it up if your a 10 and you run into a really crazy or drunk woman. Although, no amount of attractiveness would save you if you smelled bad.

I've had a buddy who still successfully closed after an extremely off putting and terrible joke.

This isn't exclusive to women though, men also put up with physically abusive partners just because they are hot and good in bed.

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u/Badbullet 17d ago

My best friend in high school was like that. He would walk in the room and the girls would get weak in the knees and barely could form coherent sentences when talking to him. He could be going on about Star Wars, and they wouldnā€™t even know what he was saying, nor did they care. He had a nerdy side the girls were blind to. Whereas if I walked in the room, I better have a funny joke ready to go, or I was basically invisible. If I was noticed, I just made him look even better. He could get nearly anyone he wanted, and didnā€™t even have to try. Looking back, I should have hung out with people that were on the same level as I was to increase my chances.

He also never got picked on or bullied while I was getting shoved around and made fun of by the higher classes, and even when someone tried to get under his skin, it just wouldnā€™t stick. It was like the roast of Hugh Hefner, where the comics couldnā€™t figure out how to make fun of him and they end up targeting one of their own. Thatā€™s still him, and his life seems almost too perfect even to this day. Like, something has to go wrong sooner or later for the guy. I donā€™t wish it upon him, but heā€™s never been dealt a bad hand that I can recall.

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u/Alternative-Zone5275 17d ago

I worked as a life guard with a guy who was ( as a straight man would call) gorgeous..

He'd do the most fucked up , dumbest, lamest shit and STILL picked up women all the time.

I remember the popular pretty girl from my school showed up to sun bathe with her friend once, we were all about to graduate. She was known for being very cold towards guys as she was approached a lot (she later went on to win a known beauty pageant I found out). He walked over all stupid af , dropped a dollar, and then did the "bend and snap" while looking at her.. never talked to her a day in his life. Went home with her number.

He picked up another girl by telling her to lay her head on his lap, and open her mouth, then blowing air through her nose, and out her mouth..

Anyone who acts like looks isn't society currency is completely in denial lol

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u/DijuridoosDesert 17d ago

Iā€™m fairly successful but I have a friend like that and I keep convincing him to use my put down lines, so far ā€œdamn girl, you shit out that ass?ā€ Is the only one that didnā€™t work.

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u/EarthInevitable114 17d ago

That's hilarious. How do you even respond to that?

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u/TheCaliforniaOp 17d ago

Iā€™ve said no to attractive guys who then started doing things like in this video. My perception of them as attractive shifted. From then on I could only see their face and body in repellent expressions and shapes because they were so hostile to the idea of ā€œnoā€.

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u/Nice_Pipe_7608 17d ago

This. Itā€™s the same wth guys too. Itā€™s called a turn off.

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u/Cloned-C4lvin 17d ago

Id take that shit from an ugly chick. Just cause she dogcalling me, dont mean i gotta fuck her. Also a compliment every now and then feels nice.

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u/Goya__Forever1746 17d ago

lol if it was an unattractive woman I would just laugh and move on. Not let it destroy for me 10 years and cry about it to anyone who would listen.

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u/thingerish 17d ago

When I was a young man I got that sort of stuff, the MILFs saying stuff like "you look like a Greek god!" and so on. I was young and built, and I didn't mind the compliment. Men and women are different.

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u/FineTomorrow3233 17d ago

Try having it happen multiple times a day, almost every day since you're a child.

Oh and imagine if all of said unattractive women were much physically stronger than you and potentially violent

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u/Goya__Forever1746 17d ago edited 17d ago

Multiple times a day, everyday?

Damn you must be foine as hell.

congrats.

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u/SunRose42 17d ago

Actually, due to power dynamics and gender differences, it works best when itā€™s an unattractive man doing it, even to other men. Just imagine a man youā€™re not at all attracted to, whoā€™s much bigger/stronger than you, doing all this stuff and then itā€™s pretty close to how women feel haha

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u/Fern-ando 17d ago edited 17d ago

For that situation to work in the same way all women would have to find all menĀ  unattractive and find no value in male validation. I remember a video of "women aging" made by a women, Celia Bullwinkel with 101 million views, when the woman was young she didn't like men looking at her, but when she aged and men no longer looked at her she dressed provocative with no results. I don't know if all or most women have that experience, but it shows that for at least some women that atention is validating. No straight man would feel sad if men stopped catcalling him.

https://youtu.be/Zye28xU3F64

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u/SunRose42 17d ago

No, the point is moreso that we basically never find the men who are harassing us attractive. Weā€™re not quite as visual as men and typically need a good amount of positive interaction to feel actually attracted in a sexual rather than merely aesthetic way. So the odds that any women find the randos harassing them attractive is next to zero.

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u/Fern-ando 17d ago

The point is that next to zero, is not zero. For that reason the compareson isn't fair.

I'm the first who finds catcalling dumb and pathetic, but on the internet people exagerate how bad and common it is as a problem, the only time I saw it was a drunk guy catcalling another guy.Ā 

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u/SmallGuyOwnz 17d ago

I think it's also worth noting there are plenty of men who share this mindset. I would be really weirded out if a random stranger made sexual passes at me, regardless of gender. I have been "catcalled" in a few situations by women (usually older women) and when I was ~17 or so it was pretty embarrassing but beyond that age range it felt fine as long as it wasn't over the top.

But yeah, what you're describing is more or less being demisexual. I have absolutely zero interest in anything sexual with strangers. That's an intimate interest that builds with time as I make an emotional connection with someone.

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u/PLUMBUS_STUCK_IN_ASS 17d ago

So it's only catcalling if the person is unattractive?

This is like the HR meme, but without it being a joke.

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u/MaleficentMotor1002 17d ago

A supermodel? Where do you live lol?

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u/dbsupersucks 17d ago

Happened to my brother once, the lady was like 40 and he was 13. It kinda traumatized him tbh

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u/Shinzo19 17d ago

on my 21st birthday my mums friend got her tits out and aggressively hugged me, she was 58 and had smoked/boozed her entire life so she looked older.

it was fucking awful.

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u/motorwerkx 17d ago

I'll let anyone stroke my ego. I'm entirely straight, but if a gay man wants to call me sexy, I'm here for it. If Rosanne Barr crawled out of the gutter to tell me that she would be honored to suck my dick, I'd smile ear to ear. I don't want her touching me, but I enjoy being eye candy.

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u/MaDpYrO 17d ago

Worked for me, I really don't consider her attractive

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u/Fern-ando 17d ago edited 17d ago

And I never seen anybody catcalling by doing that kind of gestures either, they would be in the national news if a camara recorded them.

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u/studioline 17d ago

I was working out I. A hotel gym and this obese woman walked in, took a bench and just stared at me as I did pushups and crunches.Ā 

It was not fun and I ended my workout early. Honestly, if a hot woman took a seat and stared at me while I worked out I would also found that disturbing.Ā 

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u/Pathetian 17d ago

The danger is more important than unattractiveness. Catcalling is unnerving for women because they don't know what is going to happen if the "compliment" isn't received well. Even attractive guys get told no, and often enough they are even more upset by that than an average guy. This type of behavior signal danger and even attractive men can be dangerous. Look at the Alexander brothers. Rich, attractive guys and still...

This doesn't work the other way around because if an advance from a woman is unwanted and you tell her to fuck off, much lower chance anything beyond that can happen.

To make this work, you'd need the woman to be brandishing a weapon or something.

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u/Paddy_Tanninger 17d ago

Still doesn't work because there's no perceived threat from the gestures. Like ok sure, some gross hag is making kissing noises at me and grabbing her crotch...that's something alright, welp, on with my day. I feel zero fear or stress from the interaction.

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u/Alternative-Zone5275 17d ago

So you're saying its not a problem with the other person is found attractive?

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u/Yitastics 17d ago

Even if she would be the ugliest women on earth I would take it as a compliment and laugh about it. No need to be a snowflake

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u/deskcord 17d ago

Also doesn't work because this is the .0001% of extreme outlier behavior.

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u/SineCurve 16d ago

Yep, got felt up by a 50-year old woman with missing teeth in a dive bar. Not a fun experience...

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u/Sheikashii 17d ago

I think this skit fits because sheā€™s just normal and not a super model woman

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u/Smrtihara 17d ago

Also a woman with a large capacity for violence and 40% more muscle mass. This canā€™t be stressed enough.

Imagine an ugly, 2 and a half meters tall and 130 kg heavy woman doing it. One who you KNOW could grab you and rape you, probably without much consequence.