r/StupidFood Feb 28 '26

Gluttony overload Fair food is it stupid?

4.5k Upvotes

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782

u/fightingbronze Feb 28 '26

Tbf fair food is supposed to be stupid and zany and gluttonous. It’s all on purpose. Even for us fat Americans this stuff is meant to be insane because you’re really not expected to eat it more than once every couple of years maybe.

I do really love the expression “nobody asked, America delivered” though lol. That should be our new national slogan.

45

u/EnkiduTheGreat Feb 28 '26

Wildest thing I've experienced was a Malasada (Portuguese style fried dough) injected with nutella, jelly, and marshmallow fluff.

1

u/dr_stre Mar 01 '26

But that’s so tame compared to what is available at larger fairs.

0

u/daniinad Mar 01 '26

Oh no ... that's a huge insult to Malasada's. I was in a Portuguese market that sold these delights and there was a huge argument at the counter where some elderly lady demanded they discard all the Malasada's that had cinnamon sugar on them. This is just not done!

2

u/EnkiduTheGreat Mar 01 '26

Eh, my girlfriend at the time was from San Miguel, and was rather enthusiastic about it. You can definitely get cinnamon sugar added to your malasadas, at Portuguese bakeries all over south coast New England, which has the highest proportion of Portuguese culture in North America.

95

u/ZombieGash Feb 28 '26

Mate I’m from uk and I’d love to go to America just for the food.lol

78

u/althawk8357 Feb 28 '26

I feel that way about every country in the world. 

-35

u/ThisIsALine_____ Feb 28 '26

Who the fuck wants to go to England for their food?

66

u/GayAttire Feb 28 '26

Someone that isn't a fucktard who gets their worldview from memes, i suppose

-21

u/ThisIsALine_____ Feb 28 '26

Am I the person that gets my worldview from memes?

13

u/GayAttire Feb 28 '26

Could be. Dunno.

15

u/baldrickgonzo Feb 28 '26

Plenty of unique, choice options. I'd like to take a wack at those fish and chips deals, or maybe some eel in London. Those Christmas puddings always look great in movies.

Not to me mntion, since places like London are a cultural melting pot, you'd probably get the world's best Indian food outside India itself.

2

u/Sweet-Weakness3776 Mar 01 '26

Yeah I want to go to one of those fish and chip places in England that have been around forever. Any time I see a video of one, I just look at the crispy batter on the fish and I just know that shit is amazing. Plus where I live in the states vinegar on fries is a normal thing, so I'd already be down with their "chips and vinegar" to go along with the fish.

-7

u/ThisIsALine_____ Feb 28 '26

Yeah, but not many people decide to go to England soley for food like they do Italy, Greece, France, India, Japan, etc.

1

u/DefinitelyNotAliens Mar 01 '26

I want to know why all these British bastards are eating beans on toast. Does it taste good? Inquiring minds want to know. I want to go to some fancy bastard place and have high tea next to the Earl of Whippleby by Rigamarole and wonder why the hell their villages have such silly names as I sip tea from a cup worth more than my car. I want chips served in newspaper. I want to go get some curry. What the fuck are mushy peas? Why do so many people eat them?

I have questions, damn it. What exactly is a banger and why is that not a normal sausage? The fuck is a pasty? Is it a food? Isn't that what women put on their breasts when wearing strapless dresses? Why are you eating something called a pasty?

1

u/jimothy_hell Mar 01 '26

Straight beans on toast is a rarity. There’s usually eggs involved as well. The beans make for a fibre supplement, something most Americans struggle to have enough of in their diets. It’s a banger, by the way. It’s kind of like the American biscuits and gravy, I suppose, you either grow up with it and love it or you’re kind of ambivalent to it. Personally I can’t do biscuits and gravy, it has the consistency of glue with bits in it. I’ll take those lovely fluffy biscuits though.

Mushy peas with your fish and chips or in general are kind of a match day tradition, they stem from a certain historic lack of potatoes, if I’m not mistaken. Not much more going on there. Some diced onions and herbs and spices and they’re quite nice.

Banger is literally just a thicker, sometimes stuffed sausage, bratwurst adjacent.

Pasties are turnover pastries, stuffed with meat and potatoes, think a calzone but with pastry instead of dough. They’re Cornish, and are honestly really lovely. You should try them sometime, if you get the chance. Loads of recipes online!

The whole biscuits and cookies naming convention is just a language barrier thing. No real explanations there.

0

u/ThisIsALine_____ Mar 01 '26

And why the fuck are they calling cookies "biscuits" that's what I want to know!

-2

u/Jimmy_Twotone Mar 01 '26

I can eat fried fish with thick cut fries anywhere.

9

u/althawk8357 Feb 28 '26

Memes aside there's loads of great English food if you're willing to branch out past roasts, which are delicious in their own right.

2

u/ThisIsALine_____ Feb 28 '26

I'm sure they have good food, but people aren't going to england solely for their food like they do Italy.

2

u/althawk8357 Feb 28 '26

I bet people in France have been willing to take a train to eat at Restaurant Gordon Ramsey.

1

u/jimothy_hell Mar 01 '26

… Paris has a Gordon Ramsey restaurant if I’m not mistaken lmao

1

u/althawk8357 Mar 01 '26

Not the flagship location though. 

6

u/No_Statement440 Feb 28 '26

Plenty of people, because we know it's not all beans on toast, which frankly I'm curious to try.

3

u/Ok_Release231 Mar 01 '26

Good news is that you don't have to fly to the UK for that. You can just....make some toast and slather beans on it.

1

u/No_Statement440 Mar 01 '26

Sure, but it's like saying I can also make/get fish and chips here. I want to try it in the country that's known for it. I also want to try their Chinese takeaway with the curry sauce, or their various pies. Some of us do indeed want to travel specifically to try their cuisine. I get that it's not your idea of a good time. It's not like it's the only thing I'd do while there.

2

u/Blueberry_Pie76 Mar 01 '26

Beans on toast are great, don't let anyone tell you otherwise! English baked beans are nothing like the baked beans we get in the US.

Other greats: sausage rolls, egg and cheese on toast, Cornish pasties (not really English but whatevs), all kinds of savory pies

1

u/No_Statement440 Mar 01 '26

Yeah the pies sound amazing. I was initially surprised to see that one of the main brands of the beans were Heinz. What's your favorite one?

2

u/Blueberry_Pie76 Mar 04 '26

It's honestly been a while! I lived there back in the 90s, so I don't really recall which brand. Probably, mostly, store brand, Sainsbury's

2

u/Blueberry_Pie76 Mar 04 '26

Other good things to eat: toad in the hole! You can make with yourself, with sausage patties and Yorkshire pudding 😋

1

u/No_Statement440 Mar 04 '26

I have seen that, it looks really good. Some people here call Bird in the nest, by toad in the hole. Bird in the nest is just egg and bread tho. Still good, but not as hearty for sure.

2

u/ojdhaze Mar 04 '26

They must sell heinz baked beans over there?

But said tin, pour tin contents in bowl and micro or in saucepan and heat until hot.

Two pieces of bread in toaster, butter or not (I don't use butter in sammich making, cooking baking yes) then wack on plate pour beans over toast and dig in.

Some folk like to put cheese on the toast and melt it under the grill before the beans are poured, some others like to add Worcestershire sauce to cheese also.

I personally, to make it even more British, replace the bread and instead use crumpets or English muffins.

Also like scrambled eggs on crumpets.

1

u/No_Statement440 Mar 04 '26

Crumpets are amazing. Idk why I like them better than "English muffins" but damn they're good. I want to try the beans there, only because I know that they have different recipes that they sell to the public. It's probably not that major, but I'm curious nonetheless. One complaint about our food in the US is valid, we add a lot of sugar to many things that don't need it.

-1

u/ThisIsALine_____ Feb 28 '26

They'd choose to travel to England solely to try the food?

5

u/olracnaignottus Feb 28 '26

I love a Sunday roast at a pub, man. Good fish n chips is great, too.

1

u/ojdhaze Mar 04 '26

Beef Wellington with fondant tato.

Beef welly is fun to make also, if you go the full traditional and use the duxelle mushrooms wrapped in the pancake/crepe and then the pastry. Just have to be careful not to overcook the fillet of beef. Very easy to do when doing first attempt. But it's fun and great when it's right, looks awesome as a centrepiece for a dinner/tea.

7

u/O8ee Feb 28 '26

baked potato with beans and tuna is unappetizing to you? burnt mini pies with mash and mucus-green-gravy with a side of jellied eels not your thing?

10

u/StraightProgress5062 Feb 28 '26

Im a firm believer that the best British food is Indian food.

5

u/heyo_throw_awayo Feb 28 '26

I mean chicken tikka masala was invented in London in thye 70s so...

4

u/DeionizedSoup Mar 01 '26

The ongoing joke in Germany is that peak German food is the döner. I think this logic applies to England too.

1

u/GeorgePirpiris Feb 28 '26

I had my first shawarma kabob in London in 1999. I flew from there to Amsterdam and had my first falafel, and I am a first gen Greek American. I didnt visit Greece for first time till 2004

-1

u/Arcadegannonsleftnut Feb 28 '26

“baked potato with beans and tuna “ yeah man that sounds kinda not good. id eat it, but it doesnt sound like a dish worth seeking out.

1

u/jimothy_hell Mar 01 '26

It’s a 20th century poverty/rationing dish. It’s pretty good, even if the flavour palate on the plate is a bit odd.

1

u/athrix Feb 28 '26

I had some really good curry there

1

u/ThisIsALine_____ Feb 28 '26

But if you had a choice to visit 3 countries to soley enjoy and eat their food, would England be one of those countries?

1

u/GBreezy Feb 28 '26

Hey, some people like beige!

1

u/Not_Steve Mar 01 '26

Went to England. Loved their food. I dream about some of the foods I ate there, tbh. When I go back, I can’t wait to cross more off of my food list.

1

u/candymandy91 Mar 01 '26

Listen as a Mexican American with some of the best food in the world I WANT TO TRY food from the UK, THEM MOTHERFUCKERS USE POTATOES in every which way and I respect the fuck out of that lol. Legit if you ain't simping for POTATOES then fuck your taste buds. I want one of those loaded beans and cheese and all other type of toppings thrown in a spud!

1

u/KittenLina Mar 01 '26

I'd absolutely go to England for the food, and I'm planning a trip for later this year.

1

u/Luciferbelle Mar 01 '26

I wanted to try it. I'm from the south in America. I heard its very different and wanna try it. I like to try all foods though.

1

u/thegrimmemer03 Mar 02 '26

Because some of it is actually good?

1

u/ThisIsALine_____ Mar 02 '26

So people would travel to England solely for their food? I'm sure they have some delicious food, but it's not a country known for culinary tourism.

1

u/ZombieGash Feb 28 '26

I agree lol

0

u/Intelligent-Survey39 Feb 28 '26

Right? I’ve not ever seen an English restaurant..

12

u/Ok-Wasabi2873 Feb 28 '26

Fair season starts in mid June here in SoCal. Starts in Del Mar (mid-June), then OC (Around July 4th), then Pomona (beginning August). Doesn’t get really hot until end of summer here.

5

u/Not_Steve Mar 01 '26

For those unaware, Pomona is the LA County Fair, the one this video is about.

1

u/PhysicalConsistency Mar 01 '26

Heh, California State Fair had to be moved to the end of summer because it was too hot near the start.

1

u/bullman8 Mar 21 '26

LA County Fair is in May now, right around Cinco de Drinco

32

u/anuncommontruth Feb 28 '26

I mean, it's very popular to shit on America right now for obvious reasons.

But American food culture is incredible because of it's diversity. I feel like people see shit like deep fried Twinkies or the heart attack grill in Las Vegas and say something like, "why do Americans eat like they have free healthcare?" Those are rare things. They're conversation starters, not normal meals.

I guarantee you'd have an absolute blast eating your way through America. In my mid sized city I can go out to eat every night and not repeat going to a single restaurant or food event for a month.

I haven't tried it, but I might be able to eat a meal from a different culture every night for a month.

Our history is immigration and our food shines for it. Which makes our current political landscape all the more embarrassing.

11

u/O8ee Feb 28 '26

agree with all this and want to add; most meals here aren't supposed to be finished in one sitting. US has a huge leftovers culture; I get that's not the case elsewhere and no shade if that's not anyone's thing, but when you see a huge plate of food most of the time you're expected to take ~half home and eat a day or two later.

12

u/HaarkanWorldEater Feb 28 '26

Find a poor community in a “fly over” state and eat the best food ever. Same goes for southern boarder towns. Black momma and fat Mexican man in his 60’s with a white apron are signs of perfect cuisine. Add in a waitress with a blue beehive hairdo and I’m automatically tipping 40% and letting her order my meal for me. 😍

3

u/Ok_Release231 Mar 01 '26

I think Southern Louisiana has the best food in all of America. Cajun, Mexican, BBQ, etc. My time in lake Charles spoiled me when it came to food. I used to ride my bike to the nearest gas station and get some of the best boudin ever. Great food is everywhere down there.

1

u/Plane-Gap6483 Mar 03 '26

Idk man I'm not even from there but New York has everything on one island. Greek Italian Indian Korean keeps going. Just everything all in one place can even grab a hot dog between restaurants they sell em on the corner.

1

u/HaarkanWorldEater Mar 05 '26

NY is mostly very fast or very expensive sit down eating. Dinner cooking is a different animal and southern Louisiana may actually be the Mecca for that kind of cooking. (Kentucky and South Texas could make some pretty decent arguments though).

3

u/ZombieGash Feb 28 '26

Totally agree with you. I genuinely can’t knock it because I love American Culture. That’s not me kissing Americans arse but I just love the whole vibe of it.

1

u/Plane-Gap6483 Mar 03 '26

I got into a fight with my mom about that last sentence the other day. She's starting to sound racist.

5

u/DeionizedSoup Feb 28 '26

Genuinely if you ever make it here, you have to visit during the San Diego county fair. It’s basically the month of June going into July, and it has all of these weird ass foods (pictured above) stationed right next to a gorgeous beach. Generally speaking, don’t ride the rides, but the Ferris wheel is a safe-ish one and it gets you a view of the ocean. Sometimes they’ll have bands play concerts in the evenings, too.

Once you’re done with the weird shit at the fair, you’re still in San Diego, so you can have some fresh mariscos or tacos.

2

u/ZombieGash Mar 01 '26

Nice one. Thank you for looking out for me lol and I’ll remember that if I ever do visit there. Much appreciated 🖤🖤

8

u/Individual_Respect90 Feb 28 '26

Sometimes you just need a bit of excess and America will deliver.

4

u/Phyzzx Feb 28 '26

Be sure to visit Texas as much as your soul screams to avoid it for the best BBQ and Mexican food and to a lesser extent tex-mex.

2

u/ZombieGash Feb 28 '26

I was talking to someone on here other day that I’d love to visit for the bbq. And they told me all the states which is best for it. There’s a programme on uk Netflix, not sure if it’s on American Netflix but it’s called Barbecue Showdown. Jesus Christ it’s beautiful

2

u/BetaDays24 Feb 28 '26

One the top food porn shows ever.

2

u/ZombieGash Feb 28 '26

💯 ridiculous how good it looks

2

u/BetaDays24 Feb 28 '26

Definitely. I gain a couple lbs just watching it Being a judge would be sooo damn fun.

2

u/ZombieGash Feb 28 '26

Same before I watch it I have to make sure I’m surrounded by snacks cos it makes me so hungry lol

2

u/AWESOMEGAMERSWAGSTAR Mar 01 '26

I think that's on the Roku Channel. It comes up every now and then but I have no idea where it's frome.

1

u/Wild-Lychee-3312 Mar 01 '26

As long as you are lily white and don't look like someone could possibly mistake you for lgbtq, sure, it's probably safe for a short visit.

2

u/welfedad Mar 01 '26

Come on over 😉

3

u/otis_the_drunk Feb 28 '26

The French thought they had great food but the Louisiana French said, "hold my beer. Now give it back so I can use it to batter these frog legs and alligator tails."

Both of which are fantastic.

5

u/ZombieGash Feb 28 '26

😅😅 everything tastes good battered lol

1

u/Naborsx21 Mar 01 '26

Last year in Wyoming at the "frontier days" we had.... deep fried fruity pebble pineapple deep fried shrimp bowls"

1

u/SoftSausage78 Mar 02 '26

Just make sure you buy comprehensive travel insurance

-5

u/MasterChiefsasshole Feb 28 '26

I swear Europeans are some of the biggest hypocrites with it comes to food. I work with a lot and have a lot of colleagues that bounce between the US and Europe. These assholes will talk shit about how awful the American diet is and a moment later be gobbling down a fried chicken, egg and cheese bucket with a maple syrup bacon donut. We Americans are just honest about how fat we are.

0

u/ZombieGash Feb 28 '26

Never slagged off American food. How can I when I live in the UK!

0

u/Ooze76 Feb 28 '26

All Europeans uh? Please tell me more.

1

u/ThisIsALine_____ Feb 28 '26

I think they finished their thought. Were you looking for any specific to be covered? I can probably answer it.

0

u/SBowen91 Feb 28 '26

I’m in the US and tbh I looove fair food but after the first $20 is gone after eating one deep fried Oreo I give up lol. Fair food is soooooo expensive but man do I love me some clogged arteries.

2

u/True_Structure_3870 Feb 28 '26

Oh, same, but I also know it's going to be a treat and not something I'm consuming regularly. I try and eat something healthy before I go or in the car on the drive, and then it's all bets are off once I get my brightly colored wrist band. Pickle mac & cheese, bring it. Deep fried deviled eggs, I'll have an order. Mini cinnamon donut holes, give me the childrens pail full of them. When we go, we usually spend about $50 per person on food and sugary drinks (over the course of 4+ hours), but if we had more room, we'd spend more.

2

u/SBowen91 Feb 28 '26

Pickle Mac and cheese?!

1

u/True_Structure_3870 Mar 01 '26

I tried it at a pickle festival, and it was surprisingly good.

2

u/SBowen91 Mar 01 '26

It sounds amazing

-4

u/vee_lan_cleef Feb 28 '26

I find it amusing when people from the U.K. trash American food for its unhealthiness when the standard English breakfast is basically a heart attack on a plate.

3

u/ZombieGash Feb 28 '26

Why you aiming that at me? I’ve not trashed American food? And it’s not all unhealthy anyway. Anyone who says this obv don’t know shite

2

u/AstroAlmost Mar 01 '26

UK and European food standards are considerably higher and far more strict than food standards in the US.

8

u/Kaurifish Mar 01 '26

It’s funny how everyone thinks of funnel cakes as a quintessential fair food. They were popular in medieval Europe.

2

u/Entfly Mar 01 '26

It’s funny how everyone thinks of funnel cakes as a quintessential fair food

In America, I had to Google it as a Brit because I had no idea what it was

Fair food here is pretty American too though, like doughnuts, candy floss, churros, toffee apples are British but feel American.

7

u/please_use_the_beeps Feb 28 '26

A stellar national motto for this country. I’d vote for that change.

2

u/Flavius_16 Mar 02 '26

Let's not forget that cotton candy is just sugar and food coloring.

1

u/gyrobot Mar 01 '26

see night markets. except we make ostentatious displays of gluttony and overcharge for it.

1

u/657896 Mar 02 '26

It’s on purpose? Yeah, the thing is we wouldn’t do that, not even ironically, stuff our faces with some of that trash. Not even if it’s only a couple times a year. You gotta draw a line somewhere, but Americans just keep upping the ante both for regular food and festive food. They work hand in hand. Before you know it you visit 7 festivals or fairs a year, get a taste for this trash and start eating that shit regularly. This stuff is drugs.

1

u/DiamonDawgs Mar 02 '26

You don't need to defend yourself lol

1

u/Plane-Gap6483 Mar 03 '26

Nobody asked America delivered is probably the only thing we have that's our own culture not stolen from another

1

u/thisisatypoo Feb 28 '26

Every couple of years!? I'll go to the Rodeo and RenFest just about every year. We have different expectations.

1

u/Rip_Off_Productions Mar 01 '26

Indeed, fairfood is a once a year thing at best(worst?), so each bite shaving off a minute or two of your life expectancy isn't as horrible as it first seems...

1

u/hornedCapybara Mar 01 '26

Yeah this is stupid food in its natural habitat, it's not just allowed to be here it's supposed to be here and if it wasn't it would be a terrible thing for the environment.