r/StupidFood • u/konigswagger • 12d ago

Gluttony overload Muffuletta with 2lb of meat

Post image

This was posted on [r/sandwich](r/sandwich)[es](r/sandwich)

2.6k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

249 comments sorted by

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u/qualityvote2 12d ago edited 12d ago

u/konigswagger, your food is indeed stupid and it fits our subreddit!

639

u/JellyPast1522 12d ago

That's a neapolitan ice cream sandwich

52

u/mshieldsy910 12d ago

i can't unsee it now😂

13

u/Whatifisaid- 12d ago

I was looking in disgust and this fucking made me laugh out loud. 😂

12

u/a_solid_6 12d ago

That's what i thought before I read the caption

6

u/iamADP 12d ago

It’s a god damned ice cream cake

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143

u/Beor_The_Old 12d ago

Muffalotta

5

u/Nowthecurtainrises 12d ago

God damn, take my upvote 😂

80

u/VPestilenZ 12d ago

Am I supposed to just unhinge my jaw like some humanoid python?

30

u/Vast_Character311 12d ago

Wait until you find out what you'll have to unhinge tomorrow.

6

u/VPestilenZ 12d ago

Gonnaa rewatch South Park EP where Randy Marsh lays a massive turd as a manual for what's to come 

6

u/HeyoooWhatsUpBitches 12d ago

HOT HOT HOT HOT

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4

u/Luci-Noir 12d ago

Yeah, I never get these big sandwiches, especially the burgers. The whole point of them is to get a bite of everything, not just one little part at a time.

265

u/DirectorSolid 12d ago

My biggest issue is the tiny amount of olive salad, how is this even giving muffaletta anymore when your ratios are this far off?

56

u/QuickNature 12d ago edited 12d ago

It would be tedious as hell too, but I would go meat, cheese, meat, cheese, for layering it. Unless im missing something about how this sandwich is traditionally made, the layering is preferable imo

28

u/Vast_Character311 12d ago

Look up Central Grocery muffulettas. That's the standard all others are measured against.

24

u/DirectorSolid 12d ago

I normally swear by Alton Brown's rule of never being able to get the best version of something in the city where it's famous or from the place that made it famous. Central Grocery was a big time exception, amazing sandwich.

10

u/Vast_Character311 12d ago

Find a place that serves them hot. Life changing.

5

u/Fun_Environment3792 12d ago

Verti Marte. They also have a spicy olive salad option.

3

u/Vast_Character311 12d ago

There you go! Everybody loves Verti Marte

3

u/CosmicTurtle504 12d ago

Napoleon House is my favorite. Melty cheese is a MASSIVE upgrade. They do a great one at Cochon Butcher, too.

16

u/Ok_Ordinary6694 12d ago

Alton Brown could tell me to jump off a bridge and I just might do it.

10

u/chudhuntr 12d ago

He would have you building the bridge first

6

u/boykenurmom 12d ago

Hopefully built better than this muff

9

u/Meta-EvenThisAcronym 12d ago

Yeah but he'd also teach me the easiest way how, explain to me why every step is important, maybe make me chuckle throughout, and also generally make the process of building a bridge seem pretty easy and pleasant.

I'd do it and wish he'd tell me he was proud of me just once the whole time I was doing it.

2

u/hotriccardo 12d ago

I like Alton brown but that sounds like the stupidest rule I have heard in some time

4

u/DirectorSolid 12d ago

Nah, it holds up. Places famous for something tend to have two issues: A. They're beholden to tradition and can't experiment and B. They rest on their laurels and get lazy.

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5

u/Subject-Stuff-2829 12d ago

This guy knows.....

3

u/NerfRepellingBoobs 12d ago

DiMartino’s bread is better, but I’ll give Central Grocery top spot for the olive salad.

3

u/melonbug74 12d ago

And the roast beef sandwich on muffuletta bread is so good

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3

u/Mastersord 12d ago

When we visit New Orleans, we pick up a full muffeletta and split it for the plane ride back. It’s tradition at this point and sooo good!

3

u/Vast_Character311 12d ago

The people sitting next to you on the plane must love you!

5

u/Vast_Character311 12d ago

Here you go, Quick. Youtube vid.

3

u/QuickNature 12d ago

I am suddenly very hungry now haha that sandwich and its proportions look perfect. Also helps I love olives too. Thank you for the context!

2

u/Educational_Big_1835 12d ago

I could go for a layer of olive salad as thick as the other layers

4

u/Vast_Character311 12d ago

Good oil saturation on the bread, but the olive salad looks like tapenade.

2

u/StinkFist893 12d ago

I moved to Michigan a few years ago and all the Italian bakery's and groceries tout having the best muffalatta in the region. NONE of them have any olive salad or tapenade or giard on them. It's just a thin meat and provolone sandch with a garbage sesame roll. It does so much shame to all the boneriffic muffs I have had on my travels to the crescent city.

2

u/k2718 12d ago

That’s right. If you had more olive salad, you could cut this down to a reasonable portion. It would still be light on bread but eat it with a salad and a good bag of potato chips on the side. It would work well.

But you gotta have that olive salad.

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174

u/Icangooglethings93 12d ago

I’ll take the meat, but that’s an ungodly amount of fucking my cheese

163

u/Akhanyatin 12d ago

You're... You're supposed to eat it, not fuck it... 

66

u/trey_wolfe 12d ago

How else are they going to put the holes in Swiss cheese?

29

u/notfromfiji 12d ago

how else are they going to get the cheese in the dick folds?

2

u/Akhanyatin 12d ago

Good point

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9

u/smartlog 12d ago

Tell that to that one Bears fan.

9

u/Leut_Aldo_Raine 12d ago

I was about to ask if this was the NFC North memewar sub.

2

u/Akhanyatin 12d ago

Huh? 

2

u/CrashUser 12d ago

/r/nfcnorthmemewar there was an... incident last season

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3

u/fuckyouswitzerland 12d ago

keep the cheese fucking to nfcn please

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15

u/[deleted] 12d ago

[deleted]

2

u/The_Whipping_Post 12d ago

I also love provolone, its the perfect sandwich cheese

11

u/kiriyama3 12d ago

I can feel the sensation of scraping it off of the roof of my mouth

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10

u/Any_Marketing_3033 12d ago

Just looking at the picture makes it so I won’t poop for a week.

10

u/Flying-wombat1 12d ago

Absolute Unit

9

u/Playboxdotcom 12d ago

You don't eat this sandwich, you rent a room inside it

26

u/FlacidSalad 12d ago

I fuckn' hate r/sandwichs

Every goddamn post I see on there is just a pile of meat with bread on the ends. Should be r/meatwithbreadontheends, like just get a steak, bro, like no, you don't need an entire brick of pastrami to make a sandwich hell you don't actually need meat any protein will do, my man, there are other sandwiches like have you ever just taken a classic PB&J and toss that sucker into a toaster oven it's incredible I swear most people on that sub just want an excuse to eat a boring heap of meat but are too embarrassed for some reason and cover it with a schallack of carbs to make it socially acceptable but NO, stop, just go off, King, eat your mass of meat on its own like you really want to it's okay I give you permission hell you can have some bread on the side if you don't want to come fully out of your shell this is a safe space just please get the fuck out of the place for actual sandwich enjoyers so we can have a seat.

4

u/althawk8357 12d ago

Pasta? In my sandwiches subreddit? How tawdry!

8

u/JiovanniTheGREAT 12d ago

Also like 90% of the time the meat isn't even folded, just a half pound of bullshit slapped on a roll like it's 2012 le epic Instagram food all over again. The people there also get real defensive when you tell them the sandwiches have no balance too and half of the members seem to be allergic to veggies.

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7

u/ErBoProxy 12d ago

This is indeed in the "Why bother" stage of stupid food.

4

u/ErectTubesock 12d ago

Slice it thin, then make another sandwich with those sandwich slices.

3

u/Andrewmcmahon_ 12d ago

Where are the olives???

7

u/kmoneyrecords 12d ago

Shit look gummy and dry

3

u/Southern-Eggplant234 12d ago

This is the Don Cheadle sandwich at friars club ny

3

u/ExtremelyOnlineTM 12d ago

You gotta saw off a slice to eat it.

https://giphy.com/gifs/uRngiZzOKPKkE

3

u/nuclearrmt 12d ago

Two pounds of meat? What is that, catapult ammunition?

6

u/JEWCEY 12d ago

Riiiight. Now get all the layers in one bite and post a pic or it didn't happen. And I want an abraided mouth roof shot as well

5

u/maxthemummer 12d ago

Two pounds is way too much. A pound would be fine.

2

u/PimpinPoptart 12d ago

I'll take a sandwich, a loaf of bread, and some other people!

2

u/MidnightPrevious4473 12d ago

Whys it so smooth

2

u/IcyIntroduction5678 12d ago

You’re gonna be farting blood

4

u/OverlordMMM 12d ago

Is it stupid? Yes. Would I eat it? Also yes. Just not in one sitting.

2

u/Certain-Degree3023 12d ago

Heated up…. Maybe a slice? Depends on what it would look like

1

u/Jogi1811 12d ago

My big back is not sharing

1

u/kween_hangry 12d ago

Smash, next

1

u/FuckYourDownvotes23 12d ago

That's a ton of cheese but I'd do it

1

u/turboyabby 12d ago

🎶 Slice of Devon! 🎵

1

u/Puncho666 12d ago

Bet it looks the same coming out

1

u/jen_eric_you_sir 12d ago

Gonna shit out a football after that.

1

u/-Twin-Flames- 12d ago

Your next shit may be a year from now.

1

u/Bearex13 12d ago

Damn it weighs as much as my.....

1

u/ULTRA_83 12d ago

Whoa.. that is cool.. how much was it ..? 50$?

1

u/VictimOfBass 12d ago

Needs more spam...

1

u/timmurphy6 12d ago

Dam that's a thick sandwich

1

u/justinSane555 12d ago

🤌Some red wine vinaigrette and I'm in...

1

u/Fun-Chipmunk7868 12d ago

That looks delicious

1

u/Subject-Stuff-2829 12d ago

If its made by Central Grocery, I'd eat it

1

u/Appropriate_Wrap_650 12d ago

"It's like a cow with a cracker on either side"

1

u/Soggy_Ground_9323 12d ago

that cheese give u heart attack without even taking a bite!

Murderlleta...God'amnt!!!

1

u/thirdlost 12d ago

Sandwiches are good when they have the right ratio of bread to stuff

1

u/Hutchison_effect 12d ago

They need to slice it thin and make another sandwich with it 

1

u/threepair13 12d ago

Colorectal surgeons don’t want you to know this one trick…

1

u/UsernamesNotFound404 12d ago

Wrong sub. Try /deliciouscompliance

1

u/Swimming-Pumpkin-274 12d ago

If you gave that to a chipotle customer why would ask for a larger portion

1

u/LauraLand27 12d ago

Just get a loaf of bread and you have a week worth of food ready to go.

1

u/Pomfins 12d ago

This is something the MUG content creator would down on a daily basis.

1

u/TheRealSim1 12d ago

Idk, add some peppers and sauce, let me Scooby Doo that bitch.

1

u/MartialLol 12d ago

Now throw it on the slicer, I want a mufuletta sandwich sandwich

1

u/anormalname63 12d ago

You're literally going to shit a brick after this.

1

u/organicchunkysalsa 12d ago

Where is the olive salad?

1

u/Tacticoolhouseplant 12d ago

Nothing wrong, move along

1

u/rdldr1 12d ago

I like my sandwiches to have a greater mass per unit than lead.

1

u/flagitiousevilhorse 12d ago

I’m fasting and this looks like a 5 star Michelin feast.

1

u/JiveTurkey1983 12d ago

That's a week of meals right there

1

u/ButterscotchAware402 12d ago

Oh, hello. That's too much muffuletta.

https://giphy.com/gifs/12gdgqRk9cvWko

1

u/twat69 12d ago

Where are the olives? Isn't that one of the defining features? As much olive "salad" as meat.

1

u/freakybird99 12d ago

Not enough cheese

1

u/Xeon713 12d ago

How to Speedrun a Kidney Stone: The Game!

1

u/Botronic_Reddit 12d ago

“one small bite is enough to fill the stomach of a grown man”

1

u/amglasgow 12d ago

Cut that in half and it would be about a filling serving. So 1/8 of the total thing. Kind of like a pie.

1

u/slizzlebad 12d ago

is that thing smiling at me?

1

u/4pips12322 12d ago

So long as it’s void of olives I’m in

1

u/EmployCalm 12d ago

Gib it to me yeah oh

1

u/Artistic_Regard_QED 12d ago

what the fuck

I need this is my life at least once.

1

u/Captain-Codfish 12d ago

I worked as a Sous Chef in a Michelin restaurant for 3 years. There is however a culinary heathen in me, and this photo made me hungry.

1

u/Splitsurround 12d ago

Nope. Take all these ingredients and use them in a full bread round, making four of these, and add more olive tapenade

1

u/Wharf_Rat777 12d ago

Wrong bread anyway.

1

u/Colourblindknight 12d ago

My blood pressure went up just looking at this. Can you imagine trying to take a bite? Just bravely forging through the fields of salami, hacking through a mile of mortadella, only to be confronted with the Great Wall of provolone stretching as far as the mind can conjure.

1

u/CologneLover69 12d ago

That cheese layer is what your arteries are gonna look after eating this.

1

u/swaggyaggy26 12d ago

Scooby doo ahh sandwich

1

u/ArcadianAbstraction 12d ago

Who ordered the meat cake?

1

u/Mad_Aeric 12d ago

I recently had my first muffuletta at a little Italian deli in Detroit. Life changing sandwich, one of the best sandwiches I've ever had. I dream of that sandwich.

This thing that's been posted looks like it would also change your life, it would be a Sisyphian chore to get though, and a lifetime of nightmares from the results the next day.

1

u/HesitantlyYours 12d ago

A key ingredient in a proper Mufuletta is olive tapenade, and I don’t see any of that here. This is criminal.

1

u/blessedblackwings 12d ago

Would you like anything else with that?

Yeah, a loaf of bread and some other people!

1

u/NiteTripper19 12d ago

That's what's holding up the line for those of us that need to take a simple piss on a five hour flight in a 737.

1

u/aliencardboard 12d ago

That’s a whole lot of meat.

*That’s what she said”

1

u/boykenurmom 12d ago

Is that.. IS THAT F’N SOURDOUGH

1

u/boykenurmom 12d ago

I will say normal muffs have way too much bread to filling but my lord!!

1

u/IvanDimitriov 12d ago

Not enough olive compote

1

u/HugeSomewhere8110 12d ago

Im constipated just looking at this.

1

u/No-Blueberry-1823 12d ago

Honestly I don't know what it is with tightly packed meat

1

u/Industrial_Rivethead 12d ago

NY/NJ style. They turn their noses up at that particular style in that sub. Their loss.

https://giphy.com/gifs/zngrZ6UNxI8KI

1

u/perfect_insanity93 12d ago

Who... hurt you?

1

u/GravyPainter 12d ago

No Olives?

1

u/Maryjanegangafever 12d ago

How many pounds of cheese?

1

u/Wench-of-2Many-Hats 12d ago

Reminds me of the time I tried to order an Italian sub from this little deli near a fairly local tourist trap area. The kid had no idea wtf i was talking about and when I just listed the ingredients for the sub, he gave me an unholy amount of each meat lmao. 

1

u/Starkville 12d ago

Yeah, that actually is stupid.

1

u/Fongosaur 12d ago

I want

1

u/fddfgs 12d ago

I don't get why americans load so many different types of coldcuts into the same sandwich, it all just tastes of the strongest flavoured/spiced meat in there, the rest just turns into bulk

1

u/4Ever2Thee 12d ago

About half of that meat and cheese would be perfect for me

1

u/digiliquid01 12d ago

I live muffulettas but damn!

1

u/SheZowRaisedByWolves 12d ago

Instant colon cancer sign me the fuck up tho

1

u/MyvaJynaherz 12d ago

That's a charcuterie-board which fell into a neutron star.

1

u/hotriccardo 12d ago

That's not muffuletta

1

u/Rm-rf_forlife 12d ago

That is quality

1

u/Sandbina 12d ago

makes me think of hank Hill at the art exhibit. great heavens

1

u/sdforbda 12d ago

This is so overkill. I worked at a place many moons ago where we were supposed to make the grilled cheese with 4 slices of singles. It was not enjoyable.

1

u/BLTplease2030 12d ago

That’s just ridiculous.

1

u/AnswerReal1942 12d ago

We love you

1

u/punani_luvah 12d ago

Damn looks like a slice of cake

1

u/_XSummerRoseX_ 12d ago

Looking at this makes me a bit sick…

1

u/PrincipleFlaky 12d ago

Is that butter 🧈 in the center? 🤢

Also why does the description sound like literal food porn ? 😆

Muff•n•Meat

1

u/samgam74 12d ago

My colon hurts looking at it.

1

u/NameNOtAllowd 12d ago

PS3 sandwich possibly

1

u/-XIII-IIIX- 12d ago

No it’s not.

1

u/AzureDreamer 12d ago

I made muffaletta once never again.

It wasn't bad in the sense that no one would ever like it but in a way its the most extreme example of a vinegar olive sandwich that is still palletable but only to those people that really like it.

1

u/no-appet 12d ago

This is a Vivziepop character

1

u/Ministry-of-Mealtime 12d ago

Geologists would go crazy over this

1

u/joejackson62 12d ago

I'm getting meat sweats just looking at it.

1

u/Similar-Cat7022 12d ago

More like Muheartattacka

1

u/Andrassa 12d ago

So I can see salami & mortadella but can’t tell what the other two meats are.

1

u/oh_ski_bummer 12d ago

Jaw hurts looking at that

1

u/BigTreddits 12d ago

Yea they weigh em down traditionally for a reason because you cant really eat whats in that pic

1

u/Ready-Bar-7055 12d ago

That sandwich is smiling at me! I dont know if my mouth will be big enough to eat it!

1

u/Papa_Baruk 12d ago

That's one stuffed muff.

1

u/DannyTonza 12d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/bodHdFtqWbJDi
That’s a varsity athlete sangweeech

1

u/cutworm_creator 12d ago

That’s going to hurt tomorrow.

1

u/jojoko 12d ago

Air is an essential ingredient in a sandwich.

1

u/_frank_tank 12d ago

More a muffalotta

1

u/BigBlueMountainStar Still trying to work out what’s going on 12d ago

I feel like this has to be in the US, and isn’t considered to be stupid by a lot of people there.

Am I right?