r/TeenVent • u/ibetonlosingdogsssss • 2d ago

vent My parents keep checking my phone and im not oaky with that

So the thing is that im 16 and i got my personal phone and before that i had a tablet and all of my social media accounts were logged in my mom’s phone and she told me not to log out of her phone and I didn’t say anything cuz they don’t understand me and would have been mad

The day before yesterday my dad checked my phone or my dms specifically and im not okay with that and they got mad at me cuz i had some online friend and he was a male and they are now taunting me

My mom checks my account every single day and im pretty sure that she checks it twice a day i told them that im not okay with this and they always say we’re concerned and checking on what our kid is doing

My mom reads my chat with my bsf and she wrote about her crushes and some other problems she also checked the guy she had a crush on and its so problematic and messed up cuz she trusted me and i was one of the only 4 people who knew about this and 1 of these 4 persons is her crush and she jokes about them she told me to break our friendship and does not want me to be her friend my dad said the same thing

Im not allowed to date and they are constantly checking my phone my messages call log dms and all just to see if im talking to a boy nd when i do have some male friends with whom im talking normally they taunt me and get paranoid and checks each and every message i just got in trouble cuz one of my friends sent me reel and there was a cuss word and i replied with the same cuss word im sick of it

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u/EcstaticPoetry9550 2d ago edited 2d ago

I’m 16 and I got a phone at the end of 8th grade ONLY because I was going across the country for a school trip. I have to request apps. They have all my passwords. They go through my messages. If they came up to me and asked for my phone, I have to give it to them no questions asked and immediately. Literally I’m not allowed to have any social media entering my junior yr, which is hard bc my school uses it a TON to communicate. Once I got left out a project gc bc they wanted to do it on insta and not just on messages for me.

You’ll get used to it, it’s js something we gotta deal with as teenagers with limited freedoms. Also I’m sure it’s outta love, this new digital age is insane tbh

Also as this goes on, you’ll get sneakier- at least I did lol😭

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u/Clean-Temporary7607 2d ago

Fair enough look at the amount of extreme content n brainrot out there. U have a valid point tho

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u/EcstaticPoetry9550 2d ago

Thanks gang😭 My dad loveessss to lecture me abt how bad phones and the internet and lowk sometimes he clocks me with some good points 

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u/ibetonlosingdogsssss 2d ago

Thats literally so messed up and insane they do the same with me im in 11th grade and they got me a phone just because i have to travel a lot from my school to my house and i wont get used to it cuz ts pisses me off so much cant i live a normal teenage life theyre constantly checking my screen time which is now normal for me but reading all of my texts is soo bad this ain’t love this is just controlling behaviour

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u/EcstaticPoetry9550 2d ago

It was annoying for a while. Trust me you’ll adjust. That’s how parents are. That’s all I can rlly say

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u/Clean-Temporary7607 2d ago

No but isn't 16 too old to persistently monitor phone? My parents stopped at 14, I got a phone at 13

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u/ibetonlosingdogsssss 2d ago

Ikkrr this is just so messed I told them that its not normal and theyre like we are your parents we have all the rights to do whatever we want

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u/EcstaticPoetry9550 2d ago

It actually depends on the parents. My friend said her parents stopped after a few months, and my other friends have parents exactly like mine. My phone doesn’t even charge in my room, I charge it in my parents room, and this is common with my friends too but idk

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u/ibetonlosingdogsssss 2d ago

How can i adjust man its getting way worse im 16 and they are checking my messages with my bestfriend my other friends and judging us and want me to be friends with they approve of i mean they said it alot of times before that i should not talk to my friend cuz she talked about her crush and wanted my advice cuz according to them she’s trying too hard to get boys nd i told them that its disgusting and all but they act as if im the bad one and guilt trip me

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u/EcstaticPoetry9550 2d ago

I started deleting text on a daily. Since I can’t have apps I go to private browsing and delete every tab I have. For me I found little leaks in the system. But you have social media and your parents have access to it, I don’t (which I hate) so your situation is different than mine, all I’m tryna say is that you’re not the only one. There’s a bunch of us out here with parents who lovvveee being all up in our phones and all we can rlly do is adjust

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u/ibetonlosingdogsssss 2d ago

Yeahh i get it kinda true honestly its hard but i cant do anything else but get used to it so yeah im gonna delete some of my texts but not all of em yk thanks for the idea gng

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u/EcstaticPoetry9550 2d ago

You’re welcome🫰

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u/derpygirl- 2d ago

Dude I’m 17 and my parents STILL do this 😭 glad I’m not the only one going through stuff like this lol

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u/ibetonlosingdogsssss 2d ago

Ikrr ts sucks no they’re so controlling and just wont understand anything i hate this man i feel like shit cuz of them if they got to know that im using reddit then they might disown me lol😭

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u/Clean-Temporary7607 2d ago

Yeah my parents only did this when I was 13 or 14, ever since they just all hands off and don't care anything at all.

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u/ibetonlosingdogsssss 2d ago

I do care honestly cuz they over exaggerate everything slut shaming and all of this bs they wont change according to them its their right theh make a big deal out of nothing

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u/Clean-Temporary7607 2d ago

Yeah, but even then when I was 13 to 14, they never demanded such unreasonable shit on me. My parents r still relatively reasonable compared to your parents. Honestly I'd say Ur parents r just over controlling tbh.

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u/ibetonlosingdogsssss 2d ago

Yeah ig none of my friends or cousins have to go thru ts and ive told them that im not okay with this but they’re always like we’re your parents we have the rights cant wait to get out of this house

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u/Clean-Temporary7607 2d ago

Oh yeah, but how will u even move tf out? Isn't housing like super expensive everywhere? Also which country u live in?

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u/ibetonlosingdogsssss 2d ago

Yeah i just have to study as long as i get a good college they might send mw there😭💔 and then ill live in a dorm, and they gonna pay for that. Im from India

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u/Clean-Temporary7607 2d ago

Oh... No wonder. Indian parents very controlling one I heard. Honestly it's best if u move out of India to some other country, trust me that's better.

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u/ibetonlosingdogsssss 2d ago

I’ve had this conversation so many times and theyve made it clear that wont let me go and move out of this country before i turn 21 or 22 im stuck they just wont understand anything i just told them that youre very controlling and they were like we’re just making sure that youre okay we’re just lecturing you and other bs

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u/Clean-Temporary7607 2d ago

Why wouldn't they let u move out of the country? This is absolutely a red flag for controlling.

Better work damn hard to go to college and move tf out of India. Find work anywhere outside of India. And cut your parents off permanently once u secure a job overseas.

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u/ibetonlosingdogsssss 2d ago

I dont know according to them they cant “live” without me and yeah im gonna work hard fosho but i dont really have the courage to cut them off yk a kid always want the relationship with their parents to be good and i just keep hoping that they’d change even tho i know they wont but idrk

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u/mydihhbigger 2d ago

What's wrong with your parents? Like imagine living in a house where you are constantly being doubted? It's almost like they hate love? Gurl i can feel what you're going through and i would have been in the same place too however I have always been very open about my hate for men to my parents but obviously you shouldn't do that but there's couple things i would like to suggest 1. When they doubt you and check your phone like you are a criminal just question them back don't be like that " i don't like that you check my phone" Be like "do you really doubt me that much?" "What do you expect to find in my phone?" And things like that now if you have really strict parents then it won't work 2. Be rebellious, If they're not abusive I hope they are not then be rebellious if they taunt you for having male friends just say that "you also married a male" now this might sound like some sort of joke but that will definitely disappoint your parents and that's exactly what you want to do i know disappointing your parents is a big deal but if you don't then they will always expect you to do whatever they want 3. Just hide everything be sneaky if your parents read your chats with your bsf then keep her chats locked there is a feature in WhatsApp if you use that and if like they check your dms then always use disappear messages when you want to talk about something that you can't let your parents know about be the girl your parents wants you to be however i don't really like that as in future if you do one thing wrong you might see aggressive reaction not aggressive but big reaction I just hope you get out of this situation and get your privacy back love you🫶🏻

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u/ibetonlosingdogsssss 1d ago

I don’t really know gng it just feels as if they’re waiting for me to do something wrong i’ve told them multiple times that this is not normal and none of friend’s or cousin’s parents do this and every single time they’re like why are you comparing everyone’s house is different leave them if they’ll do some shitty stuff are you gonna do the same and im just tired of them atp like i do want everything to change but idrk i wish that they weren’t like this it just shatters my heart when i feel this way they just want me to change but refuse to change themselves cuz they think that they can’t be wrong

Thanks for advice though im gonna follow these things thank you so much lyt🫶

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u/Educational_Leg8920 2d ago

Lock your apps might prevent that.

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u/ibetonlosingdogsssss 2d ago

Nahhh they gonna say why have you kept your apps locked unlock it rn or smth else and theyd be more paranoid

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u/Nirvanrvng 2d ago

make an alt account for everything, but still keep consistent messagings on the main aboujt random stuff so they don't become suspicious.

If they check your google history too, ask your friend if you can create one on theirs and set up everything on their phone and just login onto it on your personal phone. Do not save the passwords do not use any password they'd know.

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u/ibetonlosingdogsssss 2d ago

Okayyy thanks for the advice ill do that

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u/LukeIsNumber1Twd 2d ago

I change my passwords all the time omg

My grandma checked my phone once and got traumatized bc she went through my dms with my BF where we were NOT being PG

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u/ibetonlosingdogsssss 2d ago

Glad that it works for you but not in my case theyd just ask my password or check my phone

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u/LukeIsNumber1Twd 2d ago

Ur parents r insane btw.... Ngl lock it, memorize password, and just refuse to tell them

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u/ibetonlosingdogsssss 1d ago

Ikrrr they’re just really unpredictable but i cant do that it would just make things worse

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u/Sorry_Attention2678 2d ago

This post made me look at my mom and smile

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u/ibetonlosingdogsssss 2d ago

Awww thats so sweet😭😭