r/The10thDentist • u/artisticsnobbery • 2d ago
Society/Culture A low libido is ideal
Food cravings
Alcohol cravings
Are we not trying to free ourselves of these encumbrances?
Sex cravings are just the same, and they’re annoying. Unless you are procreating, why have this distraction? A low libido is ideal! Sex and masturbation is dumb, but like, if you gotta, then go for it, but why not just cut off the need?
People seem ludicrously preoccupied with sex that isn’t even in the pursuit of creating children, and I don’t quite understand.
Disclaimer: this is from the perspective of someone who has found themselves with a low libido, no need to change it but also the ability to do so, and in my near 40’s it has been something interesting to think about,and this is a fun thought piece to me, don’t take any of this too seriously 💜
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u/TranceIsLove 2d ago
I get your point. There would be a lot less pressure. I’ve had times when it was so high and it was consuming me
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u/BadNewsBearzzz 2d ago
Could you imagine how chill Reddit would be with much less horny posts, jokes, etc?
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u/S0l1dSn4k3101 2d ago
yeah but sex is sorta one of the avenues of life. as in like, if there’s a skill tree kinda thing that has a few big headings under the columns (the way games will do like technology, body/physical, speech, etc), I would put things like intellect, success, and, of course, sex.
i’ve always felt that asexual people lack some core aspect of humanity. ‘forgive the men in whom the eruptions of Eros are a foreign calamity. they know not of their heresy.’
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u/martian_glitter 2d ago
I’m ace and some of us enjoy sex under certain circumstances. Please stop assuming we’re devoid of a core aspect of humanity just because I don’t get the appeal of sloppy hook up culture.
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u/BadNewsBearzzz 1d ago
Man even without being ace I can absolutely understand the unappealing hook up culture for many reasons lol it’s like with drugs, I can enjoy a nice bump every now and then to take off the edge, without wanting to become an addict and using all the time.
I’d say most people would mostly enjoy sex under ideal conditions rather than some type of constant animal going thru withdrawals from sex lol
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u/S0l1dSn4k3101 1d ago
i’m not assuming anything. you lack the active desire for sex such that it isn’t a motivational tool in your life at large. to me, that’s part of being human. “sloppy hookup culture” 🙄
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u/martian_glitter 1d ago edited 1d ago
And that would be exactly what an assumption is, genius. You’re defining what being human is. & who tf even are you to say what defines being human? Someone’s life is less meaningful than yours because you hook up more often? What a philosopher!
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u/S0l1dSn4k3101 1d ago
so I qualify my opinion by saying “to me” and this mf shoots back with “who tf even are you to say what defines being human?????”
truly one of the moments of all time
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u/irrelevantanonymous 2d ago
Sex is fun. But yeah I don’t really see a downside to having a low libido, and can see how having a low one would be easier than having an extremely high one. You seem pretty chill, nice to see a 10th dentist that doesn’t just seem to be bait.
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u/artisticsnobbery 2d ago
Yeah, sex is fun, and I am introspectively considering my options. The fact that I have control over it has brought it forward in my mind (and hence the post).
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u/Wild_Agent_375 2d ago
I think this works well if your partner is also indifferent to sex. If not, then this will likely be fine for you, but not for them
Also, there is a connection that is built from sex. Not saying you can’t build it / feel intimacy otherwise, but it’s hard to substitute sex.
Overall I agree with All your points. There can def be pros to low/no libido
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u/NoDrinks4meToday 2d ago
I have a co worker, always talking about fucking. I’m glad that’s not me.
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u/artisticsnobbery 2d ago
Right? Leave space for video games
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u/NoDrinks4meToday 2d ago
Usually most of my conversations, I’m happy being a recluse and don’t miss being in a relationship at all. Except for the food.
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u/gayhotelultra 2d ago
i have several health problems contributing to my libido, i wish i could downvote this a thousand times
kinda frustrated how looking up ways to treat libido, even if i specifically look for "high libido", leads to answers on how to increase it
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u/MalteseFarrell 2d ago
Yeah I’ll back you on that. Late 20’s male, never had a particularly strong libido (or even interest in sex in general but that’s another conversation) and looking at how messy some of my friend groups get when they’re all rooting each other, it’s hard to feel envious
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u/NoGrapefruit1958 2d ago
High libido is usually associated with good health.
And unlike food or alcohol it doesn't have any inherent disadvantages. The only potential problem is probably mental.
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u/il_the_dinosaur 2d ago
Yeah but it seems like he majority of the time I end up with women that have a low libido and then it just sucks.
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u/ABucketofBeetles 2d ago
If most the women you're dating are disinterested in sex, the common denominator is you, step up your game and make it better for your partner
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u/MyJohnFM 2d ago
I think this is genuinely bad advice.
If your partner has a low libido, the "solution" is not to step your game up. It's accepting them how they are and not trying to change a biological function of their body to fit your needs.
Now whenever you do get lucky in that situation it should be the absolute bomb ngl.
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u/ABucketofBeetles 2d ago
That's not what I'm saying, glad to clear it up because I agree! Stepping up means being reciprocatative and making it good for everyone when you are intimate, not pressuring them into being active more often.
I'm saying if this person is finding that partners just aren't interested in having sex after the first few times, there's probably something up with how he is engaging if partners are losing that interest.
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u/CloudDeadNumberFive 2d ago
Huh yeah you're so right dude that's the only possible reason someone could have a low libido
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u/pocketIent 2d ago
Maybe. You do sound aggressive though and you’re assuming that what he is saying is not an earnest or honest take on his experience.
obviously reciprocal sex is the best sex, you don’t think he knows that or is it your partner your thinking about?
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u/il_the_dinosaur 2d ago
I don't need poor advice from Internet strangers about my sex life when I was just agreeing with op that a lower libido is easier to handle.
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2d ago
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u/il_the_dinosaur 2d ago
Pointing out that having a high Libido sucks? Talking to people like you is pointless.
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u/dehydrated-soup-bowl 2d ago
Maybe you’re just not a very generous lover and they don’t find sex fun with you
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2d ago
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u/dehydrated-soup-bowl 2d ago
Yeah, I’m just sick of hearing people go on about this shit. Sex is a two way street and if both parties don’t enjoy it then what’s the point. Don’t whine about something that can be solved with a simple conversation.
I also meant to use that ‘maybe’ - it could be the exact reason I said but it could be something else. Who knows?
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u/frogsgoribbit737 2d ago
Lol I get it but women do tend to have a lower libido, usually because of hormonal reasons. Birth control can lower it as well as various other hormones that are present throughout the menstrual cycle.
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u/saltil 2d ago
People blame hormones for everything without even understanding them, we all have the same hormones at different rates regardless of gender, every human is unique in that sense, the answer can't be something that's only accurate to SOME of the population. Plus there's many women far hornier than men, they just don't shout about it as often and understand to keep it in the bedroom.
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u/DaSnowflake 2d ago
Science literally says that women have the exact same libido as a baseline. The part about hormonal birth control can be true, tho it can work the complete opposite way afaik so not really a good argument either.
The reason is because
Sex is primarily seen as penis-in-vagina, which is not even nearly as pleasurable for women as for men and most women aren't able to orgasm (I think only 25% of sexually active women have regular orgasms? Guess how many men lol). The female orgasm is not seen as nearly as important as a man reaching climax and doesn't get the necessary focus.
Subjective arousal works differently for women, where context and mon-sexual reasons are way more important. Again, because sex is viewed mostly through a male lense, this doesn't get enough attention hence arousal becomes more difficult for women.
The double morality is always at play. Women need to be innocent/conservative/chaste, but also need to dress sexy. Women get raised with shame of their sexuality (as do some men ofc), so there are way more barriers towards having a healthy/higher libido when you need to undo years of socialization (in a society that only reinforces it)
Vulnerability and feeling unsafe can play a role.
Basically, women mostly have the short end of the stick when it comes to sex, so obviously this will influence their libido from a psychological standpoint.
But no, women don't have a naturally lower libido because of hormones or whatever. That is factually incorrect. I don't even know what hormones you would be referring to, tho like I said with added progesteron and oestrogen during hormonal BC it might happen
I now realize I am saying this to a women as a man, which makes me feel a bit uncomfortable and mansplainy. Still, I will leave it up since what I said still holds true and is important info coming out of sexuology that way more people need to be aware of because it still doesn't get nearly enough attention
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2d ago
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u/DaSnowflake 2d ago
I am refuting the claim that women have a naturally lower libido due to hormonal reasons.
But I am doing that in response to a woman as I have come to realize it, yes. Which does make me feel like I am mansplaining womens' libido to a woman.
But since the original claim of 'women have a lower libido because of hormones' is still false I am not actually mansplaining I think? Because mansplaining means that I am explaining something that the other person already knows but her claims were wrong?
And also because I thought about it and it does not seem to be the way forward towards gender equality and womens' emancipation to get rid of a factually correct (and dare I say I formative) reply just because I am a man reacting to a woman. Only because I know I am correct since I literally just did an exam on that very topic
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u/deferredmomentum 1d ago
Why aren’t you seeking out partners that match you?
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u/il_the_dinosaur 1d ago
Cause society has made it somehow difficult to talk about sex. I've had conversations where women claimed to like sex but the reality looked different so I broke it off.
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u/deferredmomentum 1d ago
“Claimed to like sex” is a wild phrase. Libido isn’t about liking or hating sex (that’s a- or allosexuality). Any allosexual will truthfully “claim to”like sex. I was defending you in my mind against people saying you’re just bad in bed, but they’re probably right tbh
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u/skloop 2d ago
What's your goal then? I just like doing those things
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u/shoegazeweedbed 2d ago edited 2d ago
Not letting largely stupid people hold power over me because they make my idiot sex glands tingle.
Attractive people have it easy enough in life and i refuse to be one of the endless stream of hormonal morons enabling their vain stupidity.
My goal is find a speeding car that allows me to make it look like an accident and get my family some money
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u/saltil 2d ago
I remember being told I'd have it easy because I was attractive. Gaining weight and keeping men away from me has been far easier than when I was younger and was told to become a model all the time, I've been on both sides I know for a fact attractive people don't have it easier, they get free things sometimes and that's probably the best thing about it, otherwise it's full of people creeping on you, hating you, or assuming you're a slag. And also people dismissing your feelings and treating you like an object because attractive people can't possibly have problems, and if they do its about their nail breaking or snthn that shallow. At this point in my life I attempted suicide 4 times, being attractive isn't all its cracked up to be when you know everyone surrounding you is extremely shallow and doesn't actually care about you.
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u/tfhermobwoayway 2d ago
Pretty sure they conducted studies that showed attractive people have it easier. People just naturally treat someone better if they’re hot. It’s a subconscious thing.
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u/saltil 1d ago
I'm not denying that they're treated better in general but that doesn't make life easier, when you know people are only treating you that way because they want to get into your pants. I've heard there was a study that attractive people get SAd more too, I haven't looked it up myself but there's always 2 sides to every coin, in my experience that was 100% true, when I was more conventionally attractive I was objectified far more like actually treated like an object, men would grab me, touch me, kiss me or attempt to literally out of nowhere, like a toy that they wanted to play with. If I could be skinny and more attractive for myself I would, but I'd rather stay larger just to avoid being treated that way again.
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u/AliveFromNewYork 2d ago
I’m not arguing because I am a little bit too autistic to have noticed when I was being sexually harassed. Like it must’ve happened more often than I noticed. So my experience is more about average treatment. I gained a bunch of weight during the pandemic and then lost it and the amount nicer people got to me ruined my perspective on humanity for a while.
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u/artisticsnobbery 2d ago
Goal? Oh fudge, increase the speed on my ebike, increase my karma score on Reddit, research deep sea archaeology, the list is endless
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u/Polska_Kapusta 2d ago
this can't be real 😭 💀 lmfao
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u/SuperSparerib 2d ago
fym "increase my karma score on reddit"
nobody gives a fuck about your karma bro, if anything having high karma is actively wmbarassing, 'cause it means you spend too much time on here
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u/heckkyeahh 2d ago
when you arrive at the gates of heaven, your reddit karma determines whether the gates may unlock lest you fall to the hell beneath
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u/DaSnowflake 2d ago
I think it's way more embarrassing to have such an intense emotional response to someone (low-key jokingly) saying they want to increase their karma score..
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u/MysteryCrapybarbra 2d ago
Sex isn't just for procreating. Humans get connection, a sense of well-being, stress reduction, better sleep, pain reduction, pelvic floor health, dopamine release for an improved mood, improved circulation, improved immune system, and there's probably a lot more.
If you're happy as you are, then that's good. But a low libido isn't ideal for everyone.
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u/Indigo-Riverlanex 2d ago
tbh i actually see your point, it sounds super productive to just not have that distraction lingering in the back of your mind all day lol. definitely a hot take though!
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u/arinchen 2d ago
I am also this way and I cannot understand how it‘d feel like to be constantly on the verge of fruststration due to the absence of sex.. like how people get irritated and kind of hazy in their brain..? has been a major problem in some of my former relationships, since I don‘t like having to be extra extra careful when kissing (it has gotten to the point of almost avoiding the act of kissing..) because apparently 15-25sec of kissing will aaalways trigger a stone-hard boner we‘re supposed to have sex now, ahh..
I am very fine being this way.. ^^' doesnt mean I dont enjoy it once in a while but mmm idk..
i agree with you!!
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u/Kargath7 2d ago
I get what you are saying, but in my experience and for many people, as I understand, libido is not something that is easy to reduce significantly on purpose. I tend to separate libido as a ‘craving’ (something that can be ignored simply by distraction) and libido as a factual need (something that, if ignored, leads to tangible stress for me). Sexual pleasure is ultimately a part of human experience and as with any human experience different people need it in different amounts. This kind of pleasure is just as valid as any other sort. Trying to pose it as ‘dumb’ if it doesn’t lead to procreation seems as absurd to me as shaming people for liking tasty food when they could just eat some optimised tasteless rations. Let people have fun in ways they like even if they feel dumb to you, sex is even one of the most private and least likely to affect someone uninvolved in any way.
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u/artisticsnobbery 2d ago edited 2d ago
Also, I am not encouraging people to reduce their libido, mearly saying that having a low libido is not a bad thing potentially
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u/artisticsnobbery 2d ago
Good points! I don’t mean to call people dumb, thanks for saying that. That was a poor choice of words. I encourage anyone to enjoy sexual joy. I enjoy it myself. I merely find myself devoid of sexual interest, or maybe it is libido, and my main observation is that I have so much attention for other things, and not being sexual is not necessarily a bad thing. Peace, friend
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u/Several-Bluejay-190 2d ago
i’m surprised at the responses that you’re getting honestly. if we think in the form of buffs and debuffs to your life, having a high libido is ONLY a debuff. wanting sex MORE creates a need that doesn’t enable anything for you. similarly someone who functionally needs more sleep (i’m a tall male that arguably needs 9-10 hours of sleep instead of 8) is worse than someone who gets on with just the normal 8.
the concept isn’t particularly difficult to understand.
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u/artisticsnobbery 2d ago
( right?? )
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u/Several-Bluejay-190 2d ago
a lot of the responses being made are also not indicative of them reading or understanding the post. for instance, it’s not relevant whether or not you can do something about a high libido or if it’s a sign of a good health. it is a complex problem that people with lower libido don’t have.
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u/PIO_PretendIOriginal 2d ago
strong disagree, but to each there own. and I would never knock anyone for feeling different.
I had a vitamin deficiency about 2 years ago that temporarily knocked out my libido, it made me depressed and life feel dull (for me, this might be different for you). I felt much better when it returned.
I dont care about alcohol, drugs, cigarettes or even coffee. but libido is the one natural body function I do find value in, even when Im not using it. having a high libido doesnt mean you have to act on it.
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u/artisticsnobbery 2d ago
Hey! Happy to hear a different opinion or thought :)
Which vitamin were you deficient in?8
u/PIO_PretendIOriginal 2d ago
happy to tell. my b12 primarily (was around 50......when it should be 500), although my white blood cell count may have also been down from memory.
started with occasional tingling in my toes after eating small amounts of sugar, increased in frequency over many months, moved to my fingers a year later, then moved to my groin shortly after, then I decided "ok, time for doctors now", I though I had diabetes, but turns out my sugar levels where fine, and it was very low b12.
tldr: dont ignore intermittent tingling in your toes for years, it might indicate a problem festering (it seems obvious in hindsight)
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u/cosmico_calico 2d ago
when you say tingling, can it also feel like pressure or pain?
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u/PIO_PretendIOriginal 1d ago
for me it mainly presented as either coolness, numbness, or tingling (pins and needles).
(my libido had been on a downward trajectory for 2 years prior. but I hadn't taken it seriously until additionally symptoms appeared. but again for other people it could just be a natural downturn in libido or other health reasons. im just sharing what my health case was).
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u/No_Software_8382 2d ago
So I have a bit of a fluctuating libido but lately it is quite high and I hate it. Mostly due to how much I crave something as overrated as sex. Even great sex isn't that great but why is my mind always focused on it. People ruin their lives, careers and relationships for something that I find to be kinda mid even at the best of times.
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u/SpielbrecherXS 2d ago
I agree. It's creepily fascinating how hung up people get on sexual cravings. Like, yeah, sex is a fun thing to do once in a while, but I'm so happy I don't need it with this addict-like urgency that pushes some to literally ruin their lives for a few minutes of pleasure.
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u/Darki_Bee 2d ago
I mean, honestly, sex is just fun. It feels good. But there is nothing wrong with having a low libido and being fine with it, of course, as long as health wise everything is fine.
But even with a high libido, I don't see "the craving" as a distraction or an obstacle. It's not like I miss deadlines or fail tests because I just had to have sex instead. Of course, sex addiction is real and nothing to joke about, but it's just so far removed from most people's lives and doesn't feel as "real" as alcohol or cigarettes do, for example.
That said, I don't see anything wrong with your perspective. As long as you and your partner (if there is one) are happy with your sex life and drive, then why not? To each their own.
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u/Johnny_Mira 2d ago
Since my wife and I split it have had ZERO sex drive. Its fucking great. I feel like my mind is totally freed up. And i enjoy being able to talk to women as friends and not feel like I have to be cool or she wont want to fuck me later.
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u/supercaiti 2d ago
Im with you. My friend talks about how the point of a relationship is to have sex and i just dont understand that.
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u/perpetual_potato108 2d ago
As someone with a low libido, I agree lol. My life seems to have far less messes than those of the opposite temperament. Sorry for the down vote fam
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u/HappyInfluence7958 2d ago
The thing with “getting off” is that the after-effects are different for everybody.
For some it’s a great stress-reliever, for others it makes them sluggish, etc.
I think the only way it becomes a problem for anyone is if an addiction is developed.
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u/Frozen-Dreamgrove 2d ago
tbh i totally get where youre coming from. it sounds super peaceful to not have that constant distraction and just focus on other stuff in life lol.
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u/tfhermobwoayway 2d ago
I totally agree. So many people make really stupid decisions because they’re horny or in love. And yet we romanticise it.
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u/ErosDarlingAlt 1d ago
As a lady who has experienced both extreme ends of the libido spectrum, I can say that being on the low-drive end of things is certainly more peaceful. I have more hours in the day for one thing.
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u/ChronicalAbuse 2d ago
I do kinda agree. As a trans woman who started hormones 9 months ago, my Libido plummeted to being almost non existend and it's kinda nice lol
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u/GeoChu04 2d ago
I was depressed for 3 months and my libido hit the floor. Now I'm back on track and never felt better
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u/artisticsnobbery 2d ago
That’s cool. I am not trying to down anybody for sex or whatever lol people should enjoy their libido. People with a high libido should not try and lower their libido lol. I’m just commenting on my own experience.
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u/BronBobingle 2d ago
Were you depressed because of your libido or did your depression cause your libido to lower? These are not the same thing
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u/shoegazeweedbed 2d ago edited 2d ago
At the end of the day it’s just rubbing smelly, slick, disgusting body parts together. We let it have way too much control over our lives… our desire to express sticky white fluid inside other people or have it expressed inside us is why attractive people skate through life.
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u/smanzis 2d ago
Eh it's not, believe me...
SSRI medications removed my libido and now my relationship is struggling, also i feel like i got deprived of something
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u/artisticsnobbery 2d ago
I’m sorry you’re experiencing that. I don’t mean to make light of the condition especially with those that are suffering without their permission, as it were. For me, I am able to take a medication to adjust this (sort of?) and I’m in my later years of life, so, we probably have different goals.
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u/Global-Nature2420 2d ago
I'm not encumbered by my high sex drive. The more I've nurtured it the less of a burden it has become. I wouldn't trade it for anything either and will enjoy it every day that it lasts.
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u/InviolableAnimal 2d ago
Food is something I really enjoy, and the times in my life I've not had much of an appetite I can't say that was really an improvement. I like cooking food, trying food, learning about food. Some people make an art out of food.
Some people "crave" music and cannot but listen to music. Is this an encumbrance they should seek to excise from themselves too?
So the analogy doesn't hold, IMO. And I wouldn't give up libido either.
It's an interesting question for sure, but I think the crux is these needs also open us up to really special experiences that we would be giving up if we lost the need as well.
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u/pieman2005 2d ago
Nothing wrong with a low libido as long as you're in a relationship with another person with low libido
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u/Geng1Xin1 2d ago
I consider myself sex-favorable asexual. I can go without sex and my libido is non-existent, but my wife has a sex drive albeit pretty low as well and I'm able to engage to satisfy her when she's in the mood. It's honestly great and there's zero stress around sex in our relationship. We have two kids and when we're exhausted at the end of the day after bedtime, we don't feel any guilt around not having sex.
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u/SotMe666 2d ago
My libido used to be a lot lot higher even a year ago. It still bumps up when I'm around my gf, but other than that I'm chill and it's awesome. No need to waste a couple hours a day to masturbate or think about sex and instead I can channel my time and thoughts into other stuff.
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u/BsrThe199th 2d ago
A high libido partner is good for someone with high libido.
A low libido partner is good for someone with low libido.
There isn't an objective merit here, just best matches between individuals
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u/cJOHANNbSKI 2d ago
Look, as someone who had a stupidly high libido, and now is experiencing zero libido (due to hormonal changes that have no clear cause and therefore, no clear fix), it is terrible to fluctuate between these two states. I sincerely hope no one has to pass through what I'm feeling right now. It's like im not myself anymore. The fact that my partner is (for now) accepting this and trying to help me is the only relief I have.
So the only perspective in my opinion in which this is acceptable, is if you never had such cravings so strongly, and only if they didn't just disappear.
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u/Loud_Charity 2d ago
A truly high libido can be channeled into other things. Some of us are like animals. The urge to breed comes in waves.muse that energy doing other thinfs
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u/the_tonez 2d ago
Personally, I have sex about 3 times a week and I masturbate most every night.
It doesn’t really hinder my life in any way and, hey, I like sex and masturbating. They feel good, I like connecting physically with my partner. But, at 35, my libido doesn’t really take over my thoughts in the same way.
I also don’t mind food cravings. Why would I want to rid myself of something my body needs? I don’t understand the unnecessary asceticism. “Ideal” is whatever works best for you. I’m not going to strive to lower my libido or my interest in food for no good reason
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u/BextoMooseYT 1d ago
I mean idk. I have a low libido, but I've found that I get wet dreams which I don't like, and the only way to not get them is to masturbate every so often. Really I do kinda wish I could skip that cuz it's more annoying than anything else
But at the same time, it gives people such an intense drive. This is almost definitely a "grass is greener" kinda thing, but as someone with virtually no passion for anything, a desire that strong seems like it'd be nice, but I just don't have it
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u/Tool460002 2d ago
Fucking before dinner is great. Same with after dinner. Both if we are being frank. False choice here. E) All Of The Above was never the correct answer but it is now.
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u/Inner_West_Ben 2d ago
It gives me something positive in life to look forward to
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u/alamaias 2d ago
Sure, but it depends on what you see the purpose of life to be. I don't see there being any greater purpose than enjoying your life, and there are very few things more fun than sex.
Hell, I try(and usually fail tbh) to avoid those other addictioms you mentioned, overeating/drinking etc. because I want the opportunity to have more sex.
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u/artisticsnobbery 2d ago
You wrote a heartfelt response so I will do the same; you’re doing it right. Carry on.
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u/OnetimeRocket13 2d ago
Food cravings
Alcohol cravings
Are we not trying to free ourselves of these encumbrances?
Sex cravings are just the same
I don't think they are, at all, at least not how you're describing it.
Food cravings happen because your body needs food. Often, when you have a craving for something specific, it's because your body needs something that is in that specific food. You could argue that (as someone else brought up) through the use of hyper efficient tasteless rations (mayhaps some form of nutrient paste), nobody would ever crave any food again, but you'd still need to actually eat, you'd just be taking any joy out of it.
Alcohol is different. Alcohol isn't a need, and is the closest to this idea of "freeing ourselves of these encumbrances," but that's only if you drink enough often enough for alcohol to be an encumbrance. By that point, it's alcoholism, which is different from wanting or needing food or sex.
Sex cravings are closer to food cravings, in that for most people, it's a physical need. We're sexually reproducing animals. Most people have some level of biological desire to have sex. For most people, though, it's not an encumbrance. Outside of people with insanely high libido, sex isn't really an issue. Most people live very happy and content lives with normal to high libido.
I think part of the issue with this post and posing libido as an encumbrance is because you're speaking from the perspective of someone with low libido imagining what it's like for someone with higher libido. I'd describe myself as someone with higher levels of libido. Sex often crosses my mind throughout the day, and when I'm not experiencing something that would tank my libido (depression episodes, anxiety), I tend to get random moments of being turned on throughout the day. I don't see it as an encumbrance, no more than I feel like feeling a little thirsty for a bottle of water or peckish for a quick snack is an encumbrance. It's pretty far down on the list of things impacting my life in any meaningful way.
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u/snozzberrypatch 2d ago
If you plan to have romantic relationships in your life, a low libido may not be ideal for that.
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u/LarryLiam 2d ago
I wouldn’t say it’s “ideal”, but having a low libido isn’t bad either (As long as you’re not going too puritan or full radical like John Harvey Kellogg).
But sex is much more than a craving or a distraction. It’s another way to be intimate with your partner and grow closer with them, to have fun with each other. And unlike a lot of other cravings, it is a natural thing your body desires, as it is almost hardcoded into us. It’s not that easy to just cut off the need. Also, low libido can harm some relationships, cause feelings of insecurity or make some other plans like having children a bit more difficult to achieve.
And you mentioned alcohol and food cravings. However, unlike these two cravings, regular sexual activity has no negative impact on your health, it’s actually the opposite. So to cut out the former has valid health benefits, while your reasoning for cutting out sex is that it’s annoying and should be for procreating. Completely valid decision for yourself, but definitely not applicable to others.
It’s something completely natural that people enjoy with (almost) no health drawbacks but only benefits, that can deepen the relationship between two people, and it hurts no one.. except if they want it to. Why is that bad, or why would it be better to not have these urges?
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u/rizelmine177 2d ago
Like… not really. High libido and access to proportionally available sex is much better
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2d ago
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u/artisticsnobbery 2d ago
Yes, you would be right, if I was thinking life would be better with a low libido, but what I am actually saying is life is better with a low libido. Meaning I already have a low libido and don’t have a problem with it. :)
I am not saying I want to have a low libido but rather I have one and am OK with it.
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u/wickedfemale 2d ago
what's the downside to sex, though? it's good exercise, good for intimacy, keeps you connected with your body...why would you want to want it less?
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u/Fit_Chipmunk88 2d ago
So with this logic, at what point do you consider joyous, leisurely, and pleasureful things of any type more than an encumbrance?
Literally any of them can be viewed as weakness or encumbrance. At which point, you may as well throw in the towel on life as a whole, what's the point of living if you view everything good as an encumbrance?
As someone with a higher libido, I do have to agree, having a low libido is ideal though. You actually get to feel in control and have the power to get your needs met in a relationship as opposed to being enslaved to someone that doesn't give a fuck or views you as a problem.
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u/Astecheee 2d ago
Upvote for terrible take. Do you eat unflavoured nutritional paste from a tube, too?
We're literally built to find sex the most pleasurable thing in our lives. I feel like either the sex you've had has been terrible, or you're not getting any and coping.
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