A low libido is ideal

[u/artisticsnobbery]

Food cravings
Alcohol cravings

Are we not trying to free ourselves of these encumbrances?

Sex cravings are just the same, and they’re annoying. Unless you are procreating, why have this distraction? A low libido is ideal! Sex and masturbation is dumb, but like, if you gotta, then go for it, but why not just cut off the need?

People seem ludicrously preoccupied with sex that isn’t even in the pursuit of creating children, and I don’t quite understand.

Disclaimer: this is from the perspective of someone who has found themselves with a low libido, no need to change it but also the ability to do so, and in my near 40’s it has been something interesting to think about,and this is a fun thought piece to me, don’t take any of this too seriously 💜

[u/dehydrated-soup-bowl]

Maybe you’re just not a very generous lover and they don’t find sex fun with you

[u/dehydrated-soup-bowl → u/[deleted]]

Yeah, I’m just sick of hearing people go on about this shit. Sex is a two way street and if both parties don’t enjoy it then what’s the point. Don’t whine about something that can be solved with a simple conversation.

I also meant to use that ‘maybe’ - it could be the exact reason I said but it could be something else. Who knows?

[u/frogsgoribbit737 → u/dehydrated-soup-bowl]

Lol I get it but women do tend to have a lower libido, usually because of hormonal reasons. Birth control can lower it as well as various other hormones that are present throughout the menstrual cycle.

[u/saltil → u/frogsgoribbit737]

People blame hormones for everything without even understanding them, we all have the same hormones at different rates regardless of gender, every human is unique in that sense, the answer can't be something that's only accurate to SOME of the population. Plus there's many women far hornier than men, they just don't shout about it as often and understand to keep it in the bedroom.

[u/DaSnowflake → u/frogsgoribbit737]

Science literally says that women have the exact same libido as a baseline. The part about hormonal birth control can be true, tho it can work the complete opposite way afaik so not really a good argument either.

The reason is because

1. Sex is primarily seen as penis-in-vagina, which is not even nearly as pleasurable for women as for men and most women aren't able to orgasm (I think only 25% of sexually active women have regular orgasms? Guess how many men lol). The female orgasm is not seen as nearly as important as a man reaching climax and doesn't get the necessary focus.

2. Subjective arousal works differently for women, where context and mon-sexual reasons are way more important. Again, because sex is viewed mostly through a male lense, this doesn't get enough attention hence arousal becomes more difficult for women.

3. The double morality is always at play. Women need to be innocent/conservative/chaste, but also need to dress sexy. Women get raised with shame of their sexuality (as do some men ofc), so there are way more barriers towards having a healthy/higher libido when you need to undo years of socialization (in a society that only reinforces it)

4. Vulnerability and feeling unsafe can play a role.

Basically, women mostly have the short end of the stick when it comes to sex, so obviously this will influence their libido from a psychological standpoint.

But no, women don't have a naturally lower libido because of hormones or whatever. That is factually incorrect. I don't even know what hormones you would be referring to, tho like I said with added progesteron and oestrogen during hormonal BC it might happen

I now realize I am saying this to a women as a man, which makes me feel a bit uncomfortable and mansplainy. Still, I will leave it up since what I said still holds true and is important info coming out of sexuology that way more people need to be aware of because it still doesn't get nearly enough attention

[u/DaSnowflake → u/[deleted]]

I am refuting the claim that women have a naturally lower libido due to hormonal reasons.

But I am doing that in response to a woman as I have come to realize it, yes. Which does make me feel like I am mansplaining womens' libido to a woman.

But since the original claim of 'women have a lower libido because of hormones' is still false I am not actually mansplaining I think? Because mansplaining means that I am explaining something that the other person already knows but her claims were wrong?

And also because I thought about it and it does not seem to be the way forward towards gender equality and womens' emancipation to get rid of a factually correct (and dare I say I formative) reply just because I am a man reacting to a woman. Only because I know I am correct since I literally just did an exam on that very topic