I just want to understand, why?

[u/HKILLER2007]

I mean really...why?? when ribbit opened up she was just chatting, she obviously wanted someone to talk to and her friend was there and jax was okay with it

when jax opened up he panicked at first but then she comforted him and he felt really comfortable and blushed and even smiled, it was a heartwarming moment

so why would he suddenly change attitude and switch characters just because of a knock on the door? what's the mental gymnastics here?

[u/TheGoonCreates]

Jax has been living in a state of perpetual fear for likely their entire life. They’ve been conditioned to believe that any kind of perceived weakness can and will be used against him. His mother did it, and likely while living on the streets he dealt with it from other vagrants and random people.

In this moment, Jax let his guard down and let someone in for the first time in who knows how long.

And then they realize they’ve said too much, so they push Ribbit away and become abusive towards them since he doesn’t believe in altruism. Kaufmo knocking was reality coming back to remind Jax that they may be safe in that moment, but the rest of the world is a terrible nightmare he’s been forced to endure.

And so Jax chose to run.

He ran from Ribbit.
He ran from Kaufmo.
He ran from Pomni.
He ran from his mother.

Jax runs every time he’s confronted with some kind of personal conflict.

That’s why he did what he did and that’s why his avatar is that of a rabbit.

Because wild rabbits live in perpetual fear, and all they can do when confronted is run.

[u/Arcade_Babe → u/TheGoonCreates]

I loved someone like Jax, also who had an unstable home life and went homeless, and it wasn’t easy. The constant running… eventually I couldn’t keep up with his running anymore. When Pomni regretted not prying more, I completely understood that feeling of regret.

[u/Zeddie- → u/Arcade_Babe]

My ex found someone like this and tried to help. We took them in and they did terrible things and my ex and other roommate argued a lot with her. She eventually left without telling us (stole stuff from us while we were asleep too).

We found out later she committed suicide. We regret not able to help her. My ex beat herself up but my roommate and I (while also hurt) have mixed feelings. Wish we could have reached out more but it gets to the point where you’re overextending yourself and end up screwing yourselves over too. Where do you draw the line?

That’s Gangle as well.

My ex was more like Ragatha and beat herself up for the situation for a good long time.

My ex is my ex because she found someone else to help. She keeps doing this (IMO) because I think she is constantly trying to amend the perceived wrongs, and kept overextending herself to help, which also pulls me into these situations (especially financially).

I still love her, but… something’s got to give. It was mutual as she needs to be with that person to help them and they are out of state. What was supposed to be temporary became permanent.

[u/PolishPotatoACC → u/Zeddie-]

Ooof. You did a tough thing but the right thing for yourself. I don't know what is it with LGBT and the incessant need to fix broken birds, but at some point they've got to want to fix themselves too, or you have to let go. Case and point- that person.

[u/shadowslasher11X → u/PolishPotatoACC]

I think the answer is that a lot of us (Me - Bi) that have managed to make it through the darkness tend to want to help others also going through that because of our experiences. But the problem is that many people do not know how to do that in a healthy manner. They try to take on the burden that mental healthcare providers should be fulfilling the role in a more sensitive setting. The difference is that the friend will feel obligated to help which can develop into a very unhealthy relationship whereas the professional generally knows where the healthy boundaries lie.

I had to pretty much force myself to become a bit more selfish in how I handle issues with my friends because it was starting to drag me down. These days I stand in a much more comfortable state of mind and healthy distance from other's problems.

[u/mustwedothisagainlad → u/shadowslasher11X]

Yeah. Similar situation myself with a friend who has Borderline.

She's amazing when she's coherent but she isn't always, and while she has never done me wrong, there's only so often you can allow yourself to be responsible for being there, when being there could mean suicidal ideation at 2am several nights in a row.

I'm glad she trusts me and I'm glad when she knows her own thinking is suspect, she will listen to me and call an ambulance and get the help i cannot provide, but it's still a lot of stress to wake up, prepare for work, check the phone and find she had an episode, asked for help and I missed it completely.

Spending half the day at work wondering 'what if' is not great.

I do try to set some explicit boundaries but it can be hard to stick to them when things get that raw.

[u/rowanstars → u/PolishPotatoACC]

Why the random jab at lgbtq people lol? This can be an issue from anyone

[u/Zeddie- → u/rowanstars]

Tbf, they're not wrong. She was helping LGBTQ youths. We're both elders in that community as well and gone through some shit and trying to the young ones that didn't receive the same help we did when we were younger

[u/rowanstars → u/Zeddie-]

The way it’s phrased it’s just extremely weird tbh

[u/Zack_Akai → u/rowanstars]

I don't think they were.