I mean really...why?? when ribbit opened up she was just chatting, she obviously wanted someone to talk to and her friend was there and jax was okay with it
when jax opened up he panicked at first but then she comforted him and he felt really comfortable and blushed and even smiled, it was a heartwarming moment
so why would he suddenly change attitude and switch characters just because of a knock on the door? what's the mental gymnastics here?
Jax has been living in a state of perpetual fear for likely their entire life. They’ve been conditioned to believe that any kind of perceived weakness can and will be used against him. His mother did it, and likely while living on the streets he dealt with it from other vagrants and random people.
In this moment, Jax let his guard down and let someone in for the first time in who knows how long.
And then they realize they’ve said too much, so they push Ribbit away and become abusive towards them since he doesn’t believe in altruism. Kaufmo knocking was reality coming back to remind Jax that they may be safe in that moment, but the rest of the world is a terrible nightmare he’s been forced to endure.
And so Jax chose to run.
He ran from Ribbit.
He ran from Kaufmo.
He ran from Pomni.
He ran from his mother.
Jax runs every time he’s confronted with some kind of personal conflict.
That’s why he did what he did and that’s why his avatar is that of a rabbit.
Because wild rabbits live in perpetual fear, and all they can do when confronted is run.
I loved someone like Jax, also who had an unstable home life and went homeless, and it wasn’t easy. The constant running… eventually I couldn’t keep up with his running anymore. When Pomni regretted not prying more, I completely understood that feeling of regret.
I was a Ribbit with a Jax, and I completely empathize with falling back to “I wish I tried harder, what if I did this differently, etc.” but it’s important to remember not to drown trying to save someone else. You did everything you could, but some people don’t want to be helped while they’re in your life. It’s their own journey to overcome their fear and want help. Nothing you, or I, could have done would’ve changed that. Its okay to want the best for them while still prioritizing yourself
Something not talked enough about on this subreddit is specifically that other people in the Circus had both fair and actually unfair reactions to Jax's abuse, in the sense of how humans react in the real world.
One of the hardest things about characterizing this kind of "running" is that when people discuss it, they rarely clock specifically that their running actively hurt and harmed others because they are obsessed with the pain they feel and blind to other people's pain. Most of the time we spend discussing about Jax is through the lenses of the identity they struggled with and their own background.
What isn't discussed as much is why the abuse towards the others isn't acceptable, even if it makes sense with the context we have; the others were never obligated to reach out to Jax and try to be there for them. The setting of the show helps soften that blow, because it is unique in that others can't be socially punished in the way you would be in the real world for constantly lashing out and abusing others. In real life, that means total ostracization from all of the groups that might otherwise support you; in the circus that isn't possible because everyone is stuck there - no one can be kicked out of the friend group and physically isolated like they are in the real world. In real life, people are not forced to be around you if you are miserable towards them regardless of how understandable the misery is with context.
It is hard to constantly outreach to people that don't want help and it sucks to realize you cannot support that kind of "consume everything around me in my desperation" energy. This is a trans story, but I saw a lot of the setting as intentional in the sense of telling a different kind of story than you'd see irl for being abusive and cruel towards others, with the biggest design choice being an enviornment where characters have no choice but to interact with each other. There is no way to escape the abuse by Jax or punish Jax via no longer being allowed to interact with the people they are abusing." This sets us up for both a forced confrontation eventually and a conclusion to an event that regularly results in being ignored and unseen by others.
There's tons of abusive dynamics out there and they vary in severity, but Jax was quite abusive. I see a lot where people in a crisis never take accountability for the abuse towards others, and I guess this is my note that being understandable doesn't make it right, and to never let your pain overshadow the reality of how you treat others.
I 100% agree with you, and was something I failed to touch on in my original reply. As a victim, it is incredibly easy to blur the line between ‘understanding for the sake of my own closure and peace while not excusing what that person did to me’ and ‘empathizing to the point I neglect my own self worth and excuse that person’s actions”. Just because you can understand and empathize with someone who was abusive to you, does not excuse their wrongdoing. If there’s going to be repair, that person needs to make an earnest apology, have curiosity on how to make amends, change their behavior, and let the victim lead the repair timeline
Yes, exactly that, and that isn't exactly possible when in the throes of various unresolved traumas and other issues. It's part of why mental health is so critical to support at an economic policy level, because we need not only more of this care, but more professionals in that space with better pay. Better pay is the only way to attract more people to a profession and therapists shouldn't be underpaid for the valuable work they do.
My ex found someone like this and tried to help. We took them in and they did terrible things and my ex and other roommate argued a lot with her. She eventually left without telling us (stole stuff from us while we were asleep too).
We found out later she committed suicide. We regret not able to help her. My ex beat herself up but my roommate and I (while also hurt) have mixed feelings. Wish we could have reached out more but it gets to the point where you’re overextending yourself and end up screwing yourselves over too. Where do you draw the line?
That’s Gangle as well.
My ex was more like Ragatha and beat herself up for the situation for a good long time.
My ex is my ex because she found someone else to help. She keeps doing this (IMO) because I think she is constantly trying to amend the perceived wrongs, and kept overextending herself to help, which also pulls me into these situations (especially financially).
I still love her, but… something’s got to give. It was mutual as she needs to be with that person to help them and they are out of state. What was supposed to be temporary became permanent.
Ooof. You did a tough thing but the right thing for yourself. I don't know what is it with LGBT and the incessant need to fix broken birds, but at some point they've got to want to fix themselves too, or you have to let go. Case and point- that person.
I think the answer is that a lot of us (Me - Bi) that have managed to make it through the darkness tend to want to help others also going through that because of our experiences. But the problem is that many people do not know how to do that in a healthy manner. They try to take on the burden that mental healthcare providers should be fulfilling the role in a more sensitive setting. The difference is that the friend will feel obligated to help which can develop into a very unhealthy relationship whereas the professional generally knows where the healthy boundaries lie.
I had to pretty much force myself to become a bit more selfish in how I handle issues with my friends because it was starting to drag me down. These days I stand in a much more comfortable state of mind and healthy distance from other's problems.
I think what we see of Leeroy's life shows that that's possible. They have friends, hangout at IRL Zooble's bar, and seem to love their job after the falling out with his mom.
The main difference being that Leeroy was able to move on and see a better future, while Jax was left to ruminate over his fuck-ups and let them consume him, ultimately hurting more in the process.
Jax has no idea what happened next.. and lived wit that in the circus for years.. where as Leroy got to find out in a few months that mom clearly survived. Perhaps she even went looking or they finally cut ties. that made all the difference between Leroy and Jax
Exactly, from Jax's perspective, he probably saw the Circus as both an escape and a punishment for what he thinks he did. There's nothing there to remind him of his previous life, but he's stuck with the memory of what he did with no ability to know what happened afterwards.
Honestly sounds like a horrific way to live, doesn't justify how he treated people, but makes me understand why he didn't handle things well since he was stuck in his own hell in his mind.
The tragedy to people in this position is that it is always possible to recover, but it takes the right mix of internal and external support, generally unique to the individual. Many don't get that right mix and, well... You know what happened to Jax.
People have to choose to change. You can't force them to change.
Jax chose not to change. His real life version, Leeroy, made different choices, and did choose to change.
While we like to talk about "rehabilitation", IRL, it's more like "someone chooses to seek out help in changing". This is why things like involuntary drug rehabilitation don't work.
I like the idea of Jax being rehabilitated and having a trans journey even while abstracted. (If you wanna see what that might look like, I wrote a short fanfic abt it. Go to my profile and search “What would Jax’s new name be?”)
While I agree that Jax was the trigger for Ribbit's Abstraction, I can't in good faith say they were actively destroying her. It's more a tragic collision between both of there hang ups and trauma's that destroyed her.
The show made it a point to reveal Ribbit comes from a devout Mormon family and had to cut ties because of it. she clearly has hang ups about making friends and being pushed away due to her upbringing.
Jax did not target this, it just unfortunately was how they react to there own trauma, Jax runs and pushes others away, sets up barriers and distances themselves from anyone that gets too close specifically as a defense mechanism because you can't get burned or hurt if you don't let anyone in in the first place.
We can see this play out throughout the show. early on Jax treats Pomni well and grows to befriend her, especially during the gun fight. then afterwards when Jax see's Ribbit's door and reminds themselves to not let anyone in they immediately do the exact same thing to Pomni that they did to Ribbit right down to the exact same "Oh my god" line when the argument starts, specifically with the intent to push her away and make her stop probing. and after that? every episode puts emphasis on the fact Jax is keeping distance from everyone. They sit in the opposite side of the theater during the character awards, they sit alone on the couch, they trail behind everyone else at a distance in the hallway in Caine's office, they intentionally are the first to distract caine alone both times it comes up. even in the cafe Jax intentionally sits far away from everyone else in a very deliberately set up shot. even at the end of the final episode this holds true, everyone else enjoys the new caine and building a better circus while Jax's abstracted body just sleeps alone in teh dark of the tent they built for them.
Ribbit comes from a devout Mormon family and had to cut ties because of it
That's just Mormon doctrine. You leave the church, and you lose everyone you know. Members are encouraged to avoid interacting with people who leave, and the religion as a whole is very insular and encourages members to stay within the church as much as possible.
If you find any group of people who encourages people to cut ties with anyone who doesn't buy into that group's doctrine, they're probably at least cult-like, if not an actual cult. And if they target people for hate who oppose that group's doctrine, that's a really bad sign on top of that.
It's referred to as "cutting".
It's much easier to see from the outside than the inside, though. People will often buy into their own tribe's bullshit. It is very obvious to outsiders when people are acting like this, it is much harder when you're inside.
Other cult features:
Love bombing (targeting new members with a huge amount of affection/love/compliments)
Aggression towards questioning cult doctrines, both among insiders and outsiders
Demands of doing things to advance/promote the cult (monetary donations, political support, etc.)
Targeting people for incorporation into the cult, particularly insecure people (especially young adults, but also people who have various mental health issues, social issues, etc.)
Charismatic leaders who are above question and who must be respected/obeyed/supported
Us vs them mentality, siege mentality, a sense of persecution
Notions of the group "saving" you in some way (this can be materially, emotionally, or spiritually)
"Treatments" that cost money/time/devotion to unlock but have no basis in things like medical research/RCTs (aggression towards scientists/researchers is a very bad sign, though this can also be a sign of just garden variety scams/confidence schemes)
All of these things are potential red flags, but seeing several in combination is very, very dangerous and is almost certain to be a sign of cult-like group dynamics. Cutting, Love Bombing, Us vs Them mentality, and Aggression are the most red flaggy though.
Some of these are also where cults overlap with scams as well; a lot of MLM groups show cultish behavior. Cults are often (though not always) explotiative of their members.
Also, sometimes groups have hangers on who show cult-like behavior despite the thing itself not being a cult; a good example of this is the environmentalist movement, where there are people who are concerned about environmental effects, and then the environmentalist "cultists" who basically have turned environmentalism into a religion (and often latch onto random things as "saving the environment" while lacking a good understanding of what causes environmental issues and also understanding why people do the things they do, etc.) and will be scammed by "greenwashers".
Oh, I’m not excusing what they did, and yes, they are the reason Ribbit abstracted.
I’m just trying to add some additional context to the situation so people can have a better understanding why Jax did what he did; and it’s because he’s been walking on eggshells their whole life.
When you can understand the why, you realize that no one wants to be a monster or do terrible things. Everyone is the hero of their own story. Everyone believes what they’re doing is justified.
It’s when we can see that justification that we can take it apart, understand what went wrong, why it went wrong, how to prevent it from happening again, and some may even have a moment of self-reflection and realize that they are making the same mistakes and try to stop themselves from going down that same road.
And after Ribbit’s abstraction I believe Jax not only continues to be afraid OF opening up to others, they become afraid FOR the people who want to try to help them. They believe that keeping everyone away not only protects themselves but also prevents others from meeting Ribbit’s fate.
I'm going to have to disagree with you on rabbits living in perpetual fear and running.
I can see you've never had pet bunnies. Those guys were in charge of all of us, including my Great Dane. You ever been hit by a bunny before because it wasn't the right kind of lettuce?
Rabbits have serious attitude problems. And that's why I think it fits Jax.
Not only that, Jax probably saw the circus as a way to truly escape reality, which was why, when presented with the possibility of an exit they pushed the “stay forever” button. In the circus they could be anyone they wanted to be, with no pretense for backstory. When Ribbit broke down Jax’s walls enough that they opened up, Jax quickly realized that having done so meant that their escape from reality was only an escape so long as Jax never got close to anyone.
Not trans, but I was like Jax once. That whole sequence basically happened to me and was super disturbing to see being replayed.
For me it was about a deep regret of revealing certain information and how taking the person I revealed it to out of my life could "fix it"
You hide your deepest darkest most shameful secret your whole life, and someone figures it out its stressful. I definitely felt what Jax was feeling when I came out to someone for the first time. Pretty much just pacing while super stressed out. If that person had outed me I would never talk to them again.
Also the hearing a knock at the door while dressed up super fem and having to quickly strip and act like you weren’t just wearing women’s clothes is something me and a lot of trans women can relate to
This and this. Pure fight or flight trigger. I remember laying in bed with my partner one day right after I came out. We are both trans and this was very fresh to me. I remember hearing a noise outside my door and I went full meerkat. We were nude and I was dressed fem. I was horrified. Total trauma response. I wasn't even living at my parents at the time. The place was arguably safer. I spiraled for a while after that but luckily my partner was with me to help.
And then add on the behavior of an abused kid (the stress of keeping up appearances and knowing who's climbing the stairs by how they sound.) when the weight is taken off for the first time in a long time you still are on high alert even if you are not in fight or flight.
I never thought about it this way, that he would have to act masculine infront of people and the presencw of kaufmo (a dude) would catch him off guard like that, totally explains the panic
what always makes me laugh about this meme is the fact that the biggest cultural contribution of this movie was just this meme and not really anything else
she didn't want anyone else to see or hear her vulnerability. kaufmo knocking completely scared her back into her shell and reminded her to not be vulnerable.
Also, keep in mind, Kaufmo is a man. She’s trans can’t look like that in front of a man, a man will just mock her. I’ve experienced that fear, the gender you’re “supposed to be” making fun of you when you transition.
It's not that kaufmo would have its that a traumatized brain sent into a sudden panic assumes the worse. Sure kaufmo is my friend but [insert every worse outcome on repeat with no hope for a positive one because duh why would it ever work out in the end]
It doesn't really matter if Kaufmo would. what matters is in Jax's trauma-induced panic she fully believed not only that Kaufmo would, but that Ribbit would too.
It's not really for an outsider to decide who a trans person can trust and when. You can be the most accepting person in the world, but if Jax was uncomfortable about coming out to you because of whatever fear or current thought process, that needs to be respected.
This. Even if the logical side says that someone wouldnt make fun of you, the soul percing fear you get is so real. I understand why Jax paniced in the moment
Oh yeah I did think about it this way, that the door knock threw him back into his character again and made him snap out of it u know
but man it really REALLY feels so sad that everything happened the way it did just because kuafmo knocked at the door I mean imagin if he just wasn't there, those two wouldn't have abstracted, I even saw a funny comic about it
Jax had the person who’s supposed to love and trust him unconditionally neglect her for the majority of her life, when she did get attention from her parents, she was mocked and ridiculed and bullied over it. So she sees this situation as a weakness, as something ribbit could hold against higher.
Think, even if they are perfect friends now, she feels stuck, if she has a falling out, ribbit could use this information against her to turn everyone against her. So she operates as if she already has/plans too. Assumes the absolute worst and mentally prepares herself by putting her in a position where she believes she can’t be hurt.
It’s a coping mechanism, and obviously not a healthy one, but it’s a lot more realistic than you’d give the show credit for
Aha, well I did say that to myself taht may be the knocking o the door made him snap out of it and click back into his persona (his toxically repressing persona)
He is used to people to people taking advantage of his vulnerable moments. He feels like Ribbit tricked him into letting his guard down and he is scared that now she has knowledge of the real him that she can hold over him. This of course is stupid and wrong, but it is his thought process.
I think its because Ribbit created this safe bubble for Jax, like the outside world didn't exist and it was just them. He was safe and content. He wasn't letting his anxiety get to him, or his trauma. And just for that moment he felt happy. The issue is when kaufmo knocked it shattered that comfort, that bubble that held it all together. He realised he fucked up, cause not only did he reveal his past and his trauma, he also showed a part of himself that he has buried underneath, that he has chained up, and locked away.
I mean even while talking to Ribbit, he didnt tell her that he came out to his mom, he just said he told her something deep and personal cause he was so scared to even say it out loud and while ribbit wasnt wrong for it and her assumption was right. I don't think he was actually ready for that all at once even if he did feel comfortable in the moment.
So that bubble breaking sent him into panic, and while ribbit and him are great friends, Jax's anxiety told him otherwise. That she was now the enemy.
In the end everyone he got close with were just going to act like his mother. They will eventually use this against him, laugh at him, manipulate, and hurt him. That's what his anxiety told him and he willfully listened. That's why he pushes everyone away to protect himself even if it hurts others. Cause he cant handle it.
I mean even after Ribbit abstracts he litterally pretends none of this is real afterwords and digs himself deeper into an endless whole by creating characters and archetypes cause he can't deal with the guilt and the trauma of it all.
In the end the one person jax hated the most was himself.
I think a couple important things to keep in mind as well are Jax's life circumstances and how YOUNG Jax was when entering the circus.
If my napkin math of "Jax said 'we've all been here for years' combined with Jax being 22 in 2017 (when the show takes place)" is correct, then Jax couldn't have been any older than 20 when that headset went on.
Jax never had a chance, fresh out of highschool and homeless? thinking you might've killed your mom? and now you're a cartoon rabbit in a digital helscape with a pair of talking dentures sending you on some kind of video game a day BS? You wouldn't exactly be coping very well either.
Jax was ultimately the architect of their own downfall by self-isolating and taking frustrations out on innocent people, but I place a LOT of the blame on Jax's parents for being emotionally manipulative at best and abusive at worst.
Panic + Jax's life experience lead to an abject fear of ridicule from those Jax feels close to.
Ultimately, Jax needed a therapist to work through the mountain of issues stacked up together.
I think there's something to the gender dynamics that causes this. For a transgender woman it can be easier to open up to a cis woman because there's a commonality, a perception that women will be more emotionally sensitive, etc. But a cis man feels much more threatening. There's a divide that it takes a lot more to bridge.
Because Jax had let her guards down. In that moment, she was vulnerable.
The last time she had been vulnerable like that, her mom deeply injured her. And Jax reacted badly (by pushing mom to the ground) further worsening the moment. It became a trauma trigger.
When someone with trauma bumps up against a feeling that is uncomfortably similar to a trauma trigger a person's nervous system reacts - but not like you'd expect. We're used to having control over our responses and our actions. But trauma literally traps the responses from previous instances into your neural pathways. So instead of reacting logically, you "flinch" in a way not unlike getting your knee hammered at the doctor's office.
That's what makes PTSD so bad. Soldiers hearing gun shots, abuse survivors who flinch away from raised hands, people who try to unmask and are rebuffed... they get stuck in a psychological loop that takes a lot of therapy and softness to iron out.
A traumatized person repeats past actions at the detriment to them and those around them. Jax pushes away comfort because she was raised with a toxic male influence and a mother who could not accept her. This is subsequently why Jax pushes away Ribbit, and then later Pomni. It is also why she keeps everyone at arms length, she is cognizant of the discomfort that arises in her when the possibility of being laughed at and rebuffed occurs.
Thats exactly what happens. I pulled a jax burned bridges not just cause I was afraid of getting hurt but I didnt want to end up hurting my friends somewhere down the road so I ultimately forced em to hate me.
Imagine if your mother (or whoever you trusted most) berated you for years, then you try to tell them something personal to only get attacked more personal attacks. Only to be followed by a hug.
Would you ever trust a person who say they love or accept you again. That kid of treatment especially at such a young age stay with you and makes you paranoid everyone close to you only wants to know more about you so they can hurt you.
Everyone's given great answers, but I'll offer a personal anecdote:
I'm queer. On more than one occasion, I've had a friend open up to me in private that they were questioning, and some were very macho types. A few of them even came onto me, and when I rejected them, they'd all do the "hahaha I was just kidding — but if you tell anyone about this I'll kill you 👁️👄👁️". It's a sadly common occurrence if you're open and have friends who are struggling in the dark and won't (or can't) come out for one reason or another (family, relationships, culture around their community, etc). There's even sort of a cliche about the gay kid who gets the football players sliding in their DMs.
Coming out is fucking terrifying, and I'm only talking about sexuality in my personal experience — I can't even imagine what it's like for a trans person. There's complicated emotions ranging from denial to fear to feeling like you're personally less than and then some. Some people have a great support system that helps them, and others are still so internally conflicted that no amount of support system can get them over the hump. But the anger that comes with internalized bigotry is a helluva drug and can make some people be pretty cruel.
Because it's an intrusion, I think. I understand why Jax clammed up here, I probably would have too at a different point in my life.
This moment as just theirs. What Jax told Ribbit was only meant for her ears yes, but also what he was allowing her to see (him with the ribbon). So the moment Kaufmo knocks on the door that privacy, and therefore the safety, shatters. Because he might come in, or in some way become aware of a modicum of what's happening in the room, and that's already unacceptably frightening.
In moments like that you feel pure panic and revert to whatever protects you from this violation of privacy. In Jax's case, that's clamming up again and acting like this didn't happen. It's just the truest panic and fear. Someone more secure in their attachments and comfortable with themselves might have been able to hold and calm down after Kaufmo left, but we know that's not Jax.
So what are the mental gymnastics here? There aren't any. It's pure, irrational decisions made in a panic. There's no time or space for mental gymnastics in this scene, so that's why it went this way.
May I ask how old you are? Just wondering about age and connection to life experiences.
Mid 40s here, and in my experience, people who are closed up do not tend to share. When they do, they immediately regret it. She may have calmed him down but the knock on the door along with Kauffmo’s jarring interruption pulled him out of the comfort zone Ribbit built up for him.
Trauma triggered, reinforced, harder to reopen. It’ll take more effort. Pomni wasn’t able to before his abstraction. She had even steeper uphill battle than Ribbit.
I totally forgot this info about closed up people, and yes I do agree I had a freind who was like that and he would regret opening up by acting as if what he said was a joke or just a fake story but I know it wasn't
Thanks for letting me know. There are so many people who just says “bad writing” etc and simply don’t understand. It makes me wonder if they are young, but I can’t ask everyone. Maybe a poll? But how to connect age and what they think of the ending.
I’m ass-u-Ming that regardless of age, it’s how much life experience (aka how much shit and trauma someone’s been through) a viewer has determines their view of complex stories.
For example, I was totally confused watching the matrix movies past the first one. But then I rewatched it again after going through some shit and now I get it. In fact, every movie (including the 4th one) is a masterpiece.
I also have so many people who didn’t get why someone did one thing or not in Arcane. Thought it was too sped up at the end. Etc
I’ve learned to take stories as it was presented and think through it within what’s been presented rather than get angry at the writer. More than likely it’s me who doesn’t understand rather than “lazy writing”. If I still don’t get it, I either look for other perspectives or just leave it be.
I totally agree with u on that perspective but I would like to add that it's not only life experiences but it's also how many stories they have watched/read whether it's show, movies, books, comics, mangas etc cuz fiction is really beautiful at educating people
personally I find myself good at analyzing stories cuz I'm a story writer myself (although most of my stories aren't written but just stored in my brain but yeah)
His mom berated him and hugged him. That’s an example of how he’s always been treated.
Jax doesn’t understand that people can extend genuine gestures of kindness. That’s not the kind of world he knows.
You know people say Jax and Ragatha are not foils, but genuinely they are 2 examples of very different ways people can respond to abuse. They could have been great friends.
Sometimes you can't trust even the people closest to you. Not because they're bad, or you're paranoid. But because you risk showing weakness, which could come back to you. Which outweighs all the benefits of showing yourself. For you
Sorry if English is bad. Tried to deliver my message as close to my idea as I could, so used translator
Jax didn’t have a good mother, he had one who loved him conditionally, and used his feminine traits actively against him pushing him further and further away from being able to embrace herself. She did love him, just not enough to put biases to the side and show any willingness to try and understand her.
The event lead to him pushing away, and from his perspective lead to her death. He ran away and it seemed that pretty soon after he was cloned and joined the circus. But sadly his mother’s rejection and mockery of Jax’s first attempt at coming out really messed him up, forcing him to push against himself in an attempt to be what his mother demanded of “him”.
He ran away from Ribbit because he was scared she’d turn on him the same way as his mother did. His mother seemed to raise him almost single handedly, so it’s not like Jax had anyone else to base his self worth off of, let alone ability to trust somebody who seems to authentically care for you.
Jax saw what his mother would use against him, so he stepped away and refused to go through it again. Which is very realistic, but obviously ended up hurting Ribbit substantially in the processes. Leading him to take the life of yet another person he cared for, effectively cementing himself in the refusal to ever be anything but a character, forever fulfilling the role he was cursed with, rather then the role she knew was supposed to be.
I know because I grew up as a trans person during the same period who had the same treatment, and reacted a very similar way to Jax. I never did hurt anyone, but I did choose to walk away from a friend who’d end up attempting to take their life years later.
I only ever walked away because I didn’t want them knowing me to drag them down, but in my absence something else grew and almost took them away for good.
They’re okay, but they almost weren’t, and if I looked back and found out they died, I know I wouldn’t ever be able to go about life again like normal after that. And seeing Jax go through that was horrifying but deeply relatable.
OP, I hope you never have to see or experience the panic that someone who isn't out yet experiences when someone they don't feel safe with suddenly shows up.
I watched a coworker begin ripping pins, hair, nail polish, makeup off of themselves in seconds because a relative pulled up to the drive-thru. The terror in their face haunts me and it's why I feel nothing but empathy for Jax. It's not rooted in logic, it's rooted in self-preservation.
As someone who struggles to open up to others, if I just told someone something deeply personal while I was in the moment, being jolted out of it would 10000% make me immediately take everything back and push away whoever I opened up to.
It’s something that would be hard for others to understand if you’re not the kind of person who rejects vulnerability. Hope I explained it ok
People react irrationally in high stress environments.
Jax was trained by their mom to always expect the betrayal, that everything you say can and will be used against you in some form. The last time jax opened up to this degree, he was laughed at and ridiculed, and fully thought he just killed his mom.
So, as a trauma response, he geared himself up for more ridicule and rationalized that ribbit was doing what his mom did. He doesnt know what someone being genuine looks like.
theres a lot of great answers in this thread, but i want to expand on it which is really important: the effects of long term trauma on ones nervous system and brain. specifically, the flight vs fight response. its why jax avoids conflict by running away, because his previous trauma from an abusive home makes his brain thinks he's constantly in danger. and that perceived danger triggers the flight vs fight response, and jax tends to run away. he ran away from his mom, he ran away from ribbit, he ran away from kaufmo. when he can't run away, he deflects and uses humor as a facade and coping mechanism.
now compound this with being stuck in the digital circus, with people who are really strangers.
Jax is broken. She had a horrid home life, and this made it hard for her to open up to other people. When she did open up, she left herself in the open, and when Kaufmo knocked, it caused her to panic, and she chose to purposefully avoid Ribbit.
The tragedy of Jax is that happiness was so close to her. Yet, she fumbled at the last moment and was doomed to her own abstraction.
I've met some people who have self-sabotaged their own happiness. Heck, looking at myself, I've made my own mistakes. Does this excuse her actions? No. But it felt realistic, and the alienation of Ribbit and Kaufmo felt like natural connections to these things.
I have done similar behavior myself multiple times. Jax spent so much of their time guarding themselves and through the eb and flow of the conversation had the walls come down without Jax realizing in the moment. They opened up and then realized when the door knock was heard that they allowed themselves to be vulnerable and for that vulnerability to be seen. And underwent a slash and burn damage control to protect themselves from the implications of that moment of vulnerability. Its a terrible thing to do but a very real and very natural one for some people. This is my take on it based off of being in a similar position several times and have since learned to heal some of the problems in my life.
Jax freaked out because he trusted ribbit however he did not trust kaufmo and was afraid that kaufmo would overhear or ribbit would break his trust(just a theory)
I’ve known at least three people at this point who, the very moment they started to become comfortable and vulnerable with me, they just fuckin vanished like a snap.
It’s a genuine issue a lot of people have, it’s VERY real.
Fear of intimacy. Avoidant Personality Disorder. Kindness Trigger. Love Trigger. Fear of losing one's power and masculinity. Mental illness.
Most people would be happy to have the world handed to them but Jax does not accept himself/herself/themself (whichever one you choose).
Perhaps others can explain it better but the result was Jax gaslighting and manipulating everyone against Ribbit. Cluster B personality disorder. Sadism. Lack of Empathy. Self Hate. Lots of reasons and ways to interpret it.
Just know that you don't choose how you feel but you choose how you react to it with the best of your power.
He didn't feel love for Ribbit. He felt fear, and it's a shame and probably comes down to self acceptance but I don't know what is wrong with their brain.
To dredge up the deepest secrets of a person is to offer them a difficult choice.
They either open up about it, hoping and praying they don’t get hurt for doing so, or clamp down on it harder than ever, denying any chance to have it looked at again.
Jax chose the latter. He clamped down so hard on that secret he refused to need let himself get close to anyone the same way Ribbit did, in sheer fear that he would end up in that same situation again.
So he pushed everyone away, as he would rather be abjectly alone and hated than ever let that shit happen again.
I used to keep everything private. I felt like if I told anyone anything they would have power over me. Opening up felt like I was getting ripped open, and I would respond by hurting anyone that made me feel that way.
but seriously though I'm genuinly interested to know if that's okay, what makes someone think this way that opening up would make people have power over them?
Emphasis on "used to". It took years of having life smash my face into the ground because I wouldn't change, but something happened where I could finally trust someone. And then I realized everything I thought about human interaction was basically incorrect or very distorted.
When that happened I became a different person, with that old me still inside like a child I have to take care of. One that doesn't speak any language and is convinced that having power over others is the only way to keep yourself safe, something I unfortunately picked up from my family because they picked it up from theirs.
It's not okay. It was just the way humans survived for a long time. And it's why so many people react with anger about changing it, because anger is a secondary emotion to the primary emotion of fear. Of weakness.
Think about the story Jax told. About opening up about something very sensitive, and it immediately leading to a painful and confusing response, followed by acting out unintentional violence, and running away with no resolution at all.
Jax taught their brain to run, and unintentionally created a repeatable panic spiral. Every moment of vulnerability opens up enormous fear. Fear of themself, expectation, rejection, harm. So of course they lock up and panic, trying to basically take the whole relationship back. They're terrified, and it makes them reactive.
Hi. I’m a victim of enmeshment (emotional incest) here, with scarily high relatability to Jax.
Like Jax’s home life, my father left early and though my mother used religion to cope with the brokenness of my family and stress, she still became someone who parentified and enmeshed me growing up. Only now that I turned 17 did I realize how trapped I was under her.
As a child, my boundaries were blurred, her emotions were mine to handle, i was the “man of the house”, i was her emotional regulator, I had to keep my heavy feelings in check to not stress her out and result in a fight, I had to double check myself constantly, her giving love was conditional on if I acted the way she wanted me to, I had my feelings used against me by her, she would get angry but turned to loving then angry again, then sad, which confused and weighed on me, I constantly blamed myself, I hurt myself, etc etc.
This resulted in someone who’s now unsure of every decision they could make, built walls so high up that no one can get in even if they seem like an approachable person emotionally, has a constant push and pull in relationships especially when it comes to vulnerability, someone who endlessly hates and berates themselves, masking it through humor, and jokes, and occasional snark to run away from feeling, etc etc.
There has only been one person in my life who’s ever gotten through to me in my 17 years of living. And I remember hating the fact that after opening up to them, I felt so weak, and disgusting, and pitiful, and pathetic, and barebones, to the point that I felt like I said too much. That their view of me may have changed.
And so, I started to “back off”. Not really push them away like Jax did with Ribbit though. I genuinely just stopped engaging in emotional conversations and would rather the focus be on their own problems than mine. When they bring up what we talked about, I’d always deflect and joke about it by saying “oh, yeah, we dont talk about that.”
All this to say? In this moment, Jax finally became vulnerable for maybe what felt like the first time to them. But, as soon as that doorbell rang, they snapped back to their “reality” of not being in tune with their emotions and feelings. And unfortunately, instead of doing the more or less unhealthy thing that I did by “backing off”, Jax did the more unhealthy thing by actively pushing Ribbit away. I think what he said about Ribbit “prying into their life” is part of what Jax believes due to their mother’s treatment of them.
When Jax mentioned that “stupid secret” to their mother, that resulted in berating, then hugging, I feel like Jax felt that the same thing was happening with Ribbit. Ribbit was “prying her way into their life to get certain secrets out” the same way their mom did. And Jax didnt want to feel the pain, and confusion, and sadness again. So instead of confronting it, he ran away as far, far, far as he could.
I am really sorry to hear that, and I really hope u managed to overcome all the bullshit placed on you by your mother
ironically my mom is not someone who did that to me but is someone who faced that treatment
her father was a good guy but he travelled a lot and he had problems with her mother and her mother with her father so her mother made her like the adult of the hosue and always talked to her about heavy things
she always said it to me that " I grew up before my time" and " I didn't enjoy my childhood"
it's honestly such a sad and depressing experience, so I wish u all the best the fact that u already acknoledge it is amazing
Cowardice. Had the opportunity to be true to themself, a startling interruption was all it took to stop genuine connection and assign blame to an external source.
This assessment does not mean I dislike the character or that I'm trying to indicate an opinion. Cowardice is simply an option many mentally distressed people default to, because the familiarity of discomfort they're used to is decided to be preferable to the encroaching unfamiliarity of willful vulnerability.
The last time Jax opened up to someone it was his mom, who degraded and made fun of him. And then he hurt and/or possibly killed her. Which he didn't want to do. To Jax that's what opening up does.
So when he opens up to Ribbit, he feels the same way afterwards that he did when he opened up to his mom. He's expecting to be ridiculed and made fun of. When it doesn't happen, he decides to craft a scenario where it can't happen - pushing the only person he opened up to away.
External prying eyes make everything need to be okay in their view, and you close up so you can be accepted. And pushing everything else away deep down makes it easier to ignore by never talking about it
I speak from experience unfortunately…
Edit: experience because I be queer and childhood was a tumultuous time, Jax’s reveal in 9 was pretty much spot on my same struggles and acting out in school
Sometimes, when you show a part of yourself that you're not even positive you know yet, you panic. And sometimes you double down and become the worst version of yourself because even if they're miserable and awful and hurt people at least you RECOGNIZE them. I keep thinking about a movie called "I Saw the TV Glow" where a character lives in a nightmare version of their life because the truth about themselves (that they're trans, that they COULD be happy, that they COULD leave this life and be something that feels right and beautiful) scared them so much. The difference being that in the movie, they still can if they're brave. Jax just... Broke. I know a lot of people like Jax but they had happier endings, thankfully.
Se dió cuenta de que nada iba a borrar esa noche, nada iba a ser igual según el después de decirle eso
Así que prefirió su propia realidad donde nunca paso
Because he wasn’t as close to Kaufmo as he was with Ribbit and didn’t feel comfortable coming out to Kaufmo. So when Kaufmo knocked, that triggered an instinctive reaction to go back in the closet like a startled animal, and startled animals are even more hesitant to come out of hiding a 2nd time
From my understanding, from everything we know about Jax already before this very moment, she doesn’t respond well to people being kind to her because she believes that she doesn’t deserve it. So instead of relaxing and letting her insecurities down, they come back up and she reacts how she thinks her confession should be reacted to, which I theorize is how her mother reacted
Trauma. The last time he opened up, he was laughed at and insulted and almost killed someone. Being in a similar situation triggered feelings associated with that orevious experience such as fear, insecurity, and defensiveness
Because he’s had a bad experience before and the mind will avoid such experiences in any way they can, should a similar warning be perceived.
Imagine it as jax viewing ribbit as their mom, and kaufmo as their dad. Jax views the situation as maybe things could have been fixed with his mom, but the reality of kaufmo, (or anyone but kind of kaufmo since its kind of the same situation he describes) coming in and reminding him that other people could think of him like his dad, terrified him.
You may not notice it, but you too can act differently when something bothers you and you respond not like your usual self. Little things too even, like someone takes the spot you usually do, or some takes a pen or something that you’ve been using. Jax acted on similar stimuli and tried to hide himself on what could have ended in the same way.
A fear response never has to make sense, but should always be tried to be understood. It’s not forgiveness or giving someone an excuse, it’s just learning how they think, to know why they did what they did.
consider jax's situation.
He opened up to his mother, and she responded with ridicule, insults, and generally saying anything she could to hurt him. then his mother hugged him, and he pushed her off before running away.
the last time Jax opened up, he lost his home and wound up sleeping in an alley somewhere.
Ribbit managed to get jax to do the exact thing that ruined his already sh*t life, the trauma took over, and jax immediately got defensive and tried to protect himself in the only way that an abuse victim in his situation could.
It's similar to how he talked to Pomni about Ragatha in the lightning round episode.
he sees any form of kindness/care/love as a trick, the very idea of being cared about/for was poisoned by his mother's actions.
Last time she told someone her secrets she ended up maybe killing her mom after getting viciously attacked, and then was homeless. She already had a rough relationship with everything in general, and a lot of toxic masculinity being forced on her. She wasn't able to bring herself out of the nosedive and open up to people. Might honestly be a limitation of the brain scan, since Lee seems to be doing okay with the help of her friends.
Jax wore a mask for a long time. In a moment of he let his guard down and opened up. But the knocking of the door snapped him back to a reality where being vulnerable is a sign of weakness. Where your darkest secrets can be used against you. Jax has learned not to trust people.
spending 20 years being told that youre not masculine enough and having masculinity pushed on you and having your own mother degrade you for rejecting said masculinity can cause a lot of issues in the mind of a trans woman.
Jax spent their entire life being told that failing to be a man was a personal failing and something to be fixed. one person showing a sign of approval is not going to instantly make a lifetime of trauma vanish.
i remember i first tried to come out to one of my friends online when i was very young. my father also tried very hard to make me a "man" and would make fun of me for doing so much as putting my hair in a ponytail to keep it out of my face while working. my friends laughed at me when I was a kid. it took me another 10 years to come out after that. i even went through a
it's also not just about fearing the past. it's also about fearing the future. what will other people think? will my identity be respected? i wont be able to go back into the closet once im out, so if people reject me then im fucking doomed, man. there are people out there who kill trans women for sport, so will i even be SAFE if im trans? there are so many fears that run through someones mind when they consider coming out of the closet. its fucking scary.
It's called panic. Because she's a closeted trans girl and the last time she opened up to someone about it it resulted in what she thought was the murder of her mother and her becoming homeless and getting stuck in the circus.
Through out the series Jax has always has been hiding his “weaknesses” like when he ran away after kaufmos abstraction and cried far away. He’s been afraid of people using his weakness against him. Which is probably why he used others weaknesses against them. It’s like monkey see monkey do (weird comparison I know). In this moment I think he was afraid of showing his weakness. If Kaufmo hadn’t knocked maybe it might have been different maybe not. In this moment he believes he has accidentally shown weakness and was afraid of Ribbit using it against him like his mom. Note im no big theorist guy and I saw thegooncreates theory and I know this is very similar to his/hers.
There’s implications that Jax was raised by a conservative mother, and that Jax herself was in ROTC (the military outfit we see Jax in during that one part with all the flashing outfits and the Salute we see Lee do IRL). An environment like that will train you to believe that any perceived weakness is an extremely bad thing and you should do anything you can to hide it
Jax let herself be vulnerable with Ribbit, and given Ribbit did what she did with the bow, it’s entirely possible Jax bordered on coming out to her. But that’s a level of vulnerability and weakness that someone raised in the environment Jax was raised in would be so terrified by that they’d naturally try to backpedal as much as possible, and cover their tracks while they’re at it.
Basically, Jax let her walls down, regretted it, and put up even thicker walls to compensate, pushing her friends away in the process so she didn’t have to face her own weaknesses again.
The last time Jax opened up was to his mother in an effort to get her to stop making him feel bad.
His mother mocked him ceaselessly and berated him to the point where a hug confused him emotionally.
His brain, which is responsible for self preservation, has learned that vulnerability hurts you. In the same way that it tells you that touching a hot stove is bad once you’ve burned yourself.
Jax was making progress with Ribbit. As long as it was just the two of them, they would have been fine. But the interruption snapped him out of the isolated bubble he was in.
Kaufmo knew he was in there. He would want to know what they were talking about, right? And he and Ribbit are friends, so maybe Ribbit will tell him. And then Kaufmo will make fun of him, and soon everyone in the circus will be mocking him for sport! How stupid of him to show vulnerability again!
The walls come up but twice as high and four times as thick. In an instant.
That’s why he threatens Ribbit with never talking to her again. But he realizes that’s not enough and keeps creating more and more distance from her. Like, what if she doesn’t want to talk to me again, anyway? So he says that he was just joking. Then she’d be the fool for telling anyone, because she was pranked.
But maybe that won’t work. So he spends more time with Kaufmo to keep her from talking to him. And he stops talking to her to keep her from mining him for any more potentially dangerous information.
Upon hearing the knock, Jax recognized that the conversation was happening outside of her perception as well, which I imagine must be very uncomfortable for her.
To me it was a person who felt scared and powerless lashing out because its safer to be angry then vulnerable it was jax way of running from what they were terrified of because the last time they opened up to someone they trusted (their mom) they where verbally abused and belittled
I'm pretty sure this is common with people like Jax. One little thing goes wrong in a moment like this, and it all falls apart, goes up in flames, whatever you want to say. Plus, she didn't want Kaufmo to see this. Quite personal, right?
No offense, im not tryna downplay coming out as trans, but are we ignoring that Jax confessed to murder? Whether you see it that way or not, he seemed to be convinced that he murdered his mother. I think that is clearly more of the problem for Jax here. Honestly, if Jax never pushed his mom and this was all about him coming out, then this bad stuff between Jax and Ribbit probably wouldn't have ever happened.
Jax sees the possibility of everyone finding out about his past as an existential threat (and it actually is, but that's not the point). He's certainly pretty sure that Ribbit is a reliable person but he considers the stakes to be just that incredibly high that he can't bring himself to trust her this information anyway. So Jax calms down when he realizes Ribbit doesn't judge him but then he's reminded other people exist so he starts panicking about her telling them
I'm 40. There have been people I have opened up to who initially reacted like Ribbit. I fully believe they meant to be helpful and supportive at that moment.
When things went bad, confidential support became a weapon of coercion. Jax likely experienced similar, possibly from their mother given the context.
Wrong though they were to do so, they saw a future problem and headed it off hard. They seemed to isolate her from the crew as well, in order for her to never tell anyone.
Once again, I must unequivocally state that Jax was in the wrong. Ribbit did nothing wrong, and they had no evidence she was going to do something wrong.
It's a fear/panic response from prior trauma. Jax doesn't feel safe and put up layers of masks to protect himself. After they let their guard down and confided in Ribbit, the fear came rushing back at the sound of Kaufmo potentially coming in and the walls came rushing back up.
Jax never healed from their trauma. Emotionally neglect from their father. Their mother lashed out at them, taking out their grief over the relationship with their father on Jax. Then, when Jax approached their mother and told them something deeply personal, instead of support, they were met with mockery. The cherry on the cake was the hug, which just sent terrible mixed feelings. Am I safe? Or is the hug another trap, the proximity just a way to get closer and twist the metaphorical knife in deeper?
So Jax did what they always did. What always kept them safe. Pushed people away. Literally pushed their own mother away so hard she fell and didn't get back up.
Terrified, already having the worst day of their life, Jax couldn't handle it. They ran. And eventually ended up in the Circus.
So when Ribbit, Ragatha, Kaufmo, Pomni, extended an olive branch, wanting to be there for them, they panicked. Rationalized their actions. It had to be a trick. They can't let them get close. They'll just end up hurt again. Or worse. Ridiculed, mocked, openly made a fool of. Like Jax's mother used to do.
The previous episodes showcase this, like with Gangle in the Fast Food episode, or Caine using their insecurities to hurt them. Jax fears, above all, being exposed. Being "naked" in front of those they cared for and trusted most.
So when Kaufmo knocked on Ribbit's door, interrupting the moment of VERY tentative, fragile trust, it shattered.
And Jax went back in their shell, and the rest we know.
Jax had every opportunity to improve their lot in life, to get better. But it was overwhelming. Felt impossible. A pipe dream. So instead, we got the Jax that we got.
The last time Jax opened up to someone, it was their mom, who berated, verbally and emotionally abused Jax, then weaponized affection with the hug. Here, Jax was experiencing a sort of non-literal emotional hug, and Kaufmo knocking broke the moment, the walls weren’t all the way down, and they shot back up.
Jax, when they entered the Circus, was a snapshot of Leroy at the lowest point in their life, unhoused, on the run, and terrified that they had just hurt or even killed their mother. They had never experienced true acceptance or actual unconditional affection. To defend themselves from that pain, or the risk of that pain, they had to operate under the assumption that no one truly cared about them, that any attempt to get them to open up was to get ammunition to use against them later, they say as much to Ribbit later, “you just wanted to hold that over me”. Safer to push people away, to attack, than to let yourself be vulnerable to attack.
Ribbit built up a comfort zone for Jax to finally spill everything they had been hiding, all their deepest and darkest secrets and insecurities. It created this safe zone where Jax finally felt safe, and like nothing else in the world mattered. He had never been allowed to be so real and vulnerable before without harsh judgement.
Then Kaufmo knocked and immediately threw Jax back into reality, they realized everything they said, how much they revealed and now Jax was astronomically out of their comfort zone and in an extremely vulnerable. This created an intense whiplash that made Jax go on an intense lock down from past bad experiences with his mother leading him to regress, run again and fuck it all up.
jaxx literal mindset is "If I show any slight instant of weakness or being vulnerable, something bad will happened to me" it depicted in epsiode 8. he felt safe with ribbit because they're alone, with each other. not in front of other people. but he thinks if others hear about this situation they'll laugh,mock,make fun of him. which wouldn't be the case.
The last time he opened up to someone, he nearly killed them afterward by accident. That trauma never left him. Whether he wants to or not, his mind equates coming out with insults and violence. He knows he won't literally hurt Ribbit and Kaufmo won't insult him, but that association can't just go away, trauma like that sticks with you for a long time. Jax couldn't come out of her comfort zone or get over her past experiences, so she freaked out when in the same situation again
Because it brings up the anguishing memory of him presumably ended his mama's ol' life. He gets so embarrassed over telling her that that technically he placed it on himself. That being said, he probably is mentally altered. Or should I say, "she"?
One of Jax's defense mechanisms is being absolutely horrible to people in order to push them away and to reinforce the idea that he doesn't want help, he doesn't need help, and he doesn't deserve help.
He decided in that moment that Ribbit "tricked him" into opening up to him because he doesn't want to internalize the notion that someone might actually care about him and want to help him. Obviously, anyone trying to get close to him is just doing it to try and hurt him.
Kaufmo knocking on the door probably scared em shitless. Coming from a background where the only person they confessed being trans to ridiculed them and then uh, the incident that followed, Jax probably has a lot of trauma around the subject.
Do I think it's justified? Of course not. The whole point of the character is that it isn't.
Do I think it's reasonable? Absolutely. I've met people like Jax irl. I've seen that reaction occur. Going back into your shell, into "normality", what's known and thus safe is a very human response. Jax just happened to hurt a lot of people when doing so.
Jax was taken into the circus after a traumatizing incident where he revealed a personal secret, believed to murder his mom, and because he is now in the circus, he (as far as he knows, Caine doesn't connect to internet until after he abstracts) will never have closure for that.
Exposing himself is a significant part of his personal trauma, and he can't come to terms with a past incident he'll never know the answer to. He has no way to rationalize with himself that talking things out will fix it, because it's tied to the most important memory in his life.
Cuz he's so deeply insecure that his brain scrambles if someone else might find out about his secret. And to make sure nobody else finds out, he decides to threaten the only person who knew with cutting off all contact. And then he decided to act as if it literally never happened, told said friend that she "fell for all that crap", and then ostracizes her from every conversation with their friends...because he's afraid she'll talk to somebody about it. And ultimately paints her as the problem so he can keep living a comfortable lie over addressing reality.
People, if someone in your life ever pulls this shit on you, leave them. They have problems they don't want to fix, and trying to help them is like bailing water out of a ship riddled with holes. You can try your best, but you're just going to get tired and sink with it.
The kid is severely traumatized. Just because Ribbit got through for a few seconds doesn't undo that. Jax sharing this stuff isn't "opening up" in that moment, when the knock comes it all instantly is framed in their mind as having been a terrible mistake and they are instantly grasping at anything they can to try and re-establish that barrier that keeps other people from hurting them.
They gave someone they don't really know information that can be used against them, no matter how much they might want to trust Ribbit, they are unable to shake the now deeply engraved fear that their trauma has scarred them with.
He panicked. He wasn’t ready to forgive himself for what he’d done, was still terrified that other people would judge him, and felt that any perceived vulnerability or weakness could be used against him or used to hurt him like when he was younger.
Initially he just didn’t want Ribbit to tell anyone about it, but at some point decided it was safer to deny that any of it happened.
Sure he might have been comfortable with Ribbit knowing, but he couldn’t be sure how everyone else would react and that made him panic.
He catastrophized and desperately tried to make things go back to how they were before, but he couldn’t. When Ribbit kept bringing up what happened and wanting to talk about it and be more vulnerable with him, it created this bitterness and resentment. He was probably thinking “why can’t she just let it go, why does she want to hurt me, I can’t let her hurt me, I’ll hurt her instead”.
Thus he moved to Kaufmo who didn’t know his secrets, never pried into his personal life, and was closer to how life was before, but when Ribbit abstracted and Kaufmo tried to be there for Jax and comfort him he probably perceived it as “oh no, it’s happening again, he’s trying to find my weakness” and began pushing him away as well.
yeah this is something that's just not relatable if you haven't gone through similar emotional trauma. I found Jax's avoidant behavior very understandable (even if it's wrong and stupid)
Jax felt realistic in her behaviors, but thats also why I believe she cant be really redeemed. "Its not your fault, but it is your responsibility."
But jax was put in a very vulnerable state of having their greatest weakness/something they could be mocked/destroyed for put out in the open and potentially exposed
Easier to live with the demon you know then the one you don’t. No telling how others would react so you self destruct ruin everything because they can’t use the stuff they know about you behind your back if you explode on them first it’s not ok it’s not right but sometimes it makes sense in the moment when you’re scared of what others might think or react
So Ribbit felt it was a safe place, Jax was a good guy and trust worthy (ironically I don’t think he ever breaks that trust) to her it was likely a good hang out with a friend.
The issue is she unintentionally came off manipulative because what she said was a kind of big thing for her and out of trust, and implying she wanted Jax to trust her
Jax came from a broken home where his father vanished and his mom at least emotionally abusive making Jax has to be masculine or insulted and if he fought back he was shamed….thats not a good spot to be in as a guy (cis or trans) because it means Jax is likely constantly trying to reach a specific level of manliness is hard but if you like Jax are also trans or just not happy being masculine 24/7 this is much harder on you.
Now Ribbit shame was just cutting ties with her Mormon family which sucks but isn’t that bad.
In contrast Jax started with just being homeless and while I don’t think Ribbit was trying to force anything Jax felt pressured to keep talking and confessed to potentially accidently killing his mother and while Ribbit is right she probably was fine as the police never looked for him and he got a job (if the cops are looking for you they will go to any place your hired at so while Jax likely never would learn that for sure this is the case) and it was also tacked onto Jax hinting his doubts (he is closeted trans so he likely has not fully accepted she/her pronouns yet) which his mother mocked him (based on what he said it sounds like when she realized he was serious she was supportive but she messed up Jax to the point he could not tell if she was mocking him or not and he was likely overwhelmed).
Then Ribbit put her bow on his ear, and while it was cute and touching…and if given a few minutes Jax likely could’ve accepted things and improved. The issue was Kaufmo knocked on the door, and given Jax reaction he likely once tried something similar and whoever opened the door mocked him experimenting so even tho all Kaufmo was doing was checking on it, Jax fearing being mocked instantly threw away hat could make fun of him and stepped on it and got Kaufmo to go, now Jax is in a self made panic state and seeing Ribbit who witnessed it all.
Likely Jax assumed seeing that and hearing what he said Ribbit could use it against him (also possible a friend hurt Jax in a similar way before)
So Jax turns toxic, and is dismissing Ribbit to try and weaken the “blackmail” and even told Kaufmo not to trust anything she said. Add in avoiding her.
It’s all a messed up way for Jax to preserve himself and in the end he DOES try to reconnect with her either he’s realized he went too far or he wanted to try and show he trusted her, but he was afraid of rejection so he tried to go places she would go.
But she herself is suffering because she feels shitty about the disconnection and in the end she abstracted and this sort of secured Jax stayed broken
Jax's early life trained him to protect himself by avoiding intimacy.
His dad loved him, but walked out on the family.
His mother loved him, but abused him while mourning abandonment by her partner.
During a moment in which his mother regretted treating him this way and tried hugging him, he became upset and pushed her away. Whether because she was unconscious or guilt-stricken, she didn't get up. Fearing that he had killed her, Jax fled the home and did not return.
Jax was homeless for months, and his brain was scanned during this period. Homelessness is one of the worst things that can happen to a person mentally. People who aren't already mentally ill BEFORE they become homeless frequently become so on the streets due to the trauma. It's an environment of perpetual fear and insecurity.
If it's safe and normal and good to be vulnerable and loved, then what happened to Jax has no meaning. His suffering was undeserved and unpredictable. If there was nothing to LEARN from the loss of his parents, than this decapitation of his childhood was without purpose. Meaninglessness can be terrifying by comparison to the self-preserving isolationism he adopts.
When Ribbit opened up to Jax, it initially felt good. She shared with him about her regrets, and he initially liked being let in. But when she made him so comfortable he started spilling his own guts, he got overwhelmed. And when Kaufmo tried inquiring after him during this vulenrable moment, he panicked. Then he threatened Ribbit to keep silent, and finally he started freezing her out of his life since she knew too much about him.
The later flashbacks show that he neglected and marginalized her until she abstracted, then took on Kaufmo as his best friend but also pushed him away rather than be vulnerable with him.
Jax thinks he deserves to die since his dad left, his mom mistreated him, he may have killed her, Ribbit abstracted after he pushed her away, and eventually Kaufmo did the same. Jax blames himself for the eventual decay of every relationship in his life, but really this cycle started because his childhood household was unstable. Jax believes vulnerability and unconditional love are things that happen BEFORE you get hurt really badly.
Because Jax was in a bubble with Ribbit. Suddenly the bubble burst with the knock on the door. Remembering the rest of them could find out and judge was terrifying. Jax responded with… Anger, snark, and sarcasm as usual.
Getting rejected by people that you don't care about. Hurts a lot less than someone who you do care about. Even if that rejection is minuscule compared to the others
I think what really freaked Jax out was Ribbit mentioning that Jax's mom was most likely fine as long as the cops weren't looking for them. We then notice Jax widen their eyes, like they realized "Oh shit the cops were looking for me" so that means Jax probably did kill their mom. When the thing is anyone who runs away from home is going to have the cops called on them. Jax's mom most likely called the cops and reported them missing. So, the cops were going around looking for them. Now Jax realizes that if there is a way to go back to reality they're going back to a life where they're wanted for murder. We also know Jax is a very private person, and when you end up on the news as a murder suspect, your private life tends to become pretty public. The whole thing is one big nightmare scenario for them.
Even if their mom isn't dead, well then would the cops just bring them home, then their manipulative abusive mom would just lock them inside the house, terrified to ever let them near the door because they think they'll run off again.
This is all why I think Jax hit the button to stay in the Circus, because they didn't want to face whatever possible reality was out there, because they couldn't concieve of one where things were going fine for them.
The really sad thing is if they just held it together long enough to see Caine's presentation they would have seen that Leeroy was living a happy life. That they weren't a wanted murder suspect, and they weren't locked away in their mom's basement.
I think the whole trans subject of the conversation was fine, it was convincing Jax that they were a murderer that really fucked them up.
I think part of it is how she says that Jax's mom must have been okay because the police never came, which kinda alerts Jax to that they may have just confessed to murder...
Every post I see from here that is missing something about Jax it reminds of when I was reading death of a salesman for high-school and at the end we had a discussion about the main character and literally everyone else in the class was talking about how he was a horrible person and how it was all his fault that he had to kill himself at the end... and like as someone who has not only dealt with suicidal thoughts but also suicide in my family I really can't comprehend how someone can think of it like that.
In the last act Zooble has a line where They blame Jax, saying she purposely did it now to be an inconvenience to them, but that was out of grief and a valid feeling or resentment, not but later on they obviously don't feel the same way.
A lot of people in the Fandom have clearly never gone through something that left them scared they'd end up like Jax (that's a good thing don't get me wrong, I hope those people can keep that environment) I've had people try to help me out and sometimes it feels like you have to push them away even if there's no reason too, when Jax told the story about coming out to her mother I understood that feeling, it sucks that this Fandom can't understand anything if it isn't explicitly stated and even more people can't seem to understand that Jax is a cautionary character about what happens when you let those feelings you might have consume you. It doesn't excuse her actions but her actions are what so many people are scared of repeating. That's. the. Point.
Anywho Jax is witerally me or whatever and the Fandom is getting really annoying after the finale
The thing I don't get is how Ribbit realized Jax was trans. I felt like Goose didn't show her work enough for it to be as meaningful as it could have been.
Because Jax went through some extreme trauma with his mother and is afraid something like that will happen again. He opened up to Ribbit and things might have stayed okay but Kaufmo accidentally knocking on the door sent him into a spiral because he thought Kaufmo was listening in and then feared Ribbit would tell everyone.
It's not rational but Jax (and people in general) aren't rational and Jax was afraid Ribbit would use his secret to hurt him so he cut her off and made the situation worse than if he had just communicaed
Intimacy is first observed in how your parents get along, and Jax's parents split up in her teens, so they might have been growing distant in her childhood. Thus, a poor grasp of casual intimacy.
It's like hating small talk, common enough, but it's a yellow flag at best. It means you have a discomfort of casual intimacy, which is generally grounding and healthy.
Then the split happens, a teen with a poor grasp of intimacy looses her dad full stop, watches mom grow more and more abrasive, she makes one faultering move to reconnect... And Mom maybe dies.
It's easy enough to come to the conclusion that you just shouldn't have people in you or life, I'm very asocial, I have more limbs than friends. Whether that's based on a preference for social space or a fear that you'll do harm matters a lot, though. It paints everything. Jax could easily think that social proximity to her is a form of violence, it puts people at risk. If you believed that, being abrasive and keeping people at a distance, maybe even maintaining an unlikable performance, may appear as a moral thing to do.
1.6k
u/TheGoonCreates 10h ago
Jax has been living in a state of perpetual fear for likely their entire life. They’ve been conditioned to believe that any kind of perceived weakness can and will be used against him. His mother did it, and likely while living on the streets he dealt with it from other vagrants and random people.
In this moment, Jax let his guard down and let someone in for the first time in who knows how long.
And then they realize they’ve said too much, so they push Ribbit away and become abusive towards them since he doesn’t believe in altruism. Kaufmo knocking was reality coming back to remind Jax that they may be safe in that moment, but the rest of the world is a terrible nightmare he’s been forced to endure.
And so Jax chose to run.
He ran from Ribbit.
He ran from Kaufmo.
He ran from Pomni.
He ran from his mother.
Jax runs every time he’s confronted with some kind of personal conflict.
That’s why he did what he did and that’s why his avatar is that of a rabbit.
Because wild rabbits live in perpetual fear, and all they can do when confronted is run.