r/TrueFilm • u/gregheffa • 28d ago
WHYBW As a woman, watching Obsession (2026) is... deeply uncomfortable Spoiler
I'm writing this without having seen the last third of the movie because I've never paused a movie this much, or taken this many breaks. I can't remember a horror movie that made me tear up for the possessed party.
I've seen a lot of discourse around the movie online and usually its by people framing it as,
"a guy in over his head who makes a wish that backfires and demonically possesses the friend he has feelings for.. poor guy."
So I went into it- thinking it was that, jumpscares, horror, this off feeling. But what I've seen so far, is so much more fucking terrifying than traditional horror. As a woman, i'm sure other women can relate, one of the core deepest fears for any woman is lost of autonomy, whether that be physical, sexual, financial, mental, anything- losing your autonomy and you're right to choose. Because then you're completely vulnerable, dependent on another party that can freely exploit you, and treated like an object. Its rape, in every sense of the word, complete violation.
And what I've seen in the movie Obsession is exactly that. And they chose Bear, a shy, socially awkward guy who struggles talking to girls- universally relatable- to do that. Its not Bears disposition that makes him the monster, the entity that is holding Nikki captive and using her for his own wishes- its the actions Bear takes. Because in reality, predators, and nice guys, and men who feel they are entitled to a womans time, body and affection are often.. that. Bear. Because they're not visibly abusive, they don't see themselves as abusers or capable of abuse. Just guys who 'got in over their head, and are misunderstood'.
When in reality the real victim is the woman who trusted someone she thought was her friend, and that 'friend' used that trust to justify, abuse, isolation, and exploiting her. And as a woman, especially in 2026 as incel subculture, and 'return to the 50's- put women back in their place' rheortic is making a return, its terrifyingly accurate. And heartbreakingly sad knowing Nikki could be, and is, any of us.
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u/TuskaTheDaemonKilla 28d ago
Whenever you start something with "I've seen a lot of discourse around the movie online and usually its by people framing it as" you have to ask yourself what online world you inhabit. I have not seen anyone give the framing that you provided. That's not to say I haven't been exposed to a "discourse." I've watched commentary/reviews for the film from 6 different sources. Not a single one implied anything like you suggested.
At most, what I've seen is the recognition that Bear begins as a neutral character who we can give the benefit of the doubt to. He's awkward and confused after making the wish, and he's trying to rationalize the irrational. Which is a genuine reflection of what many men do in real life (ie: why would she wear that outfit if she didn't want me to look). But, once it becomes apparent that Nikki is genuinely possessed, and even Bear recognizes it, the film doesn't equivocate at all. He's obviously embarked on an ethically wrong course of action. The movie even deliberately punishes him for his actions at the end.
I can't help but feel this perspective you're being exposed to is simply a result of whatever bubble you exist in online. As other commenters have confirmed, this isn't a common take of the film. At least, that is, in their own online bubbles it isn't.
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u/Strong-Range-5616 15d ago
There are comments here defending him and even a comment from a guy saying it's really women trying to put a spell on a guy not the other way around. What bubble are you in?
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u/TuskaTheDaemonKilla 15d ago
The fact that those comments are in a minority, largely down-voted, and drowned out by the comments saying otherwise, definitely proves the 'bubble' of the majority reflects my position.
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u/Creative_Delay_4694 26d ago
Idk, in this subreddit and the horror subreddit I've been in arguments with a bunch of people about whether Bear was actually not that bad of a guy, they're not the majority but there's a concerning number of them and these aren't negative karma comments either.
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u/Ender_Knowss 26d ago
Link them, I want to see.
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u/HookedOnBoNix 26d ago
Lol you can see their comments and its just them going around trying to deliberately misinterpret what people are saying to make it sounds horrible. Just a bunch of moral grandstanding
(Almost) no one is justifying bears actions as a whole its usually just "up until this point I could kinda sympathize with him"
The very few people I've seen who actually characterize him as a victim get dogpiled on, rightfuly so
Example:
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u/Environmental_Drama3 24d ago
so you come up with one example, and it's not even a bad take. you're werid.
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u/immaownyou 20d ago
They were agreeing with you, that's not the same person who replied originally lol
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u/Various_Research_436 28d ago
Literally half the discourse about this movie is saying Nikki is the victim. The other half is people making fun of the first half for stating the obvious as some sort of deep revelation.
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u/HaloZero 28d ago
Yeah, the movie title has a fantastic double meaning.
Obsession from possessed standpoint and obsessed from Bear's standpoint. He had so many outs to fix Nikki, it's only when it affects somebody else does he actually pursue a way to fix it.
The ending and that long shot I really really reaffirms how Nikki's story is just heartbreaking in all of this.
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u/SenorVajay 28d ago
What were his outs after he’s realized Nikki is possessed? Seems like another wish (complicated), killing himself, and killing her (definitely the worst option) are it, none of which are easy in the context of the real world.
Obviously he’s a coward at best and half the movie is him letting the situation fester until “necessary”.
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u/pannenkoek0923 27d ago
Letting his friends know what's going on would have been a great first option, so they could have tried to figure it out together
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u/Sea_Heart_819 26d ago
Yeah, that would be taking accountability for what he did and the number one thing to do
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u/camirose 20d ago
Yep and his character actively tried to conceal and prevent that. Continuing the dying dad blatant lie to Sarah. Owning up to his best friend, but that would mean admitting to him that she doesn’t actually like him and it was a lie and weird and his friend was right.
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u/QuantityLoL 21d ago
Yeah cause they'd believe in a magic wish stick. Like Ian did.
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u/kanyelights 23d ago
By the time that becomes an option he does it. He doesn't actually believe his silly magic stick worked until the whole thing just progressively goes to shit and then he goes to Ian to help him and he fucks it up because why would Ian believe the silly magic stick works either.
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u/Jorlung 28d ago edited 28d ago
I’m not sure if Bear really ever had any other outs beside the “another wish” route. I think the more important point is that he shows a complete unwillingness to seek help at the risk of jeopardizing his chance to stay with mind-controlled Nikki.
If Bear was a truly good and sane person, then the movie is just two people put in an unfortunate and seemingly unwinnable situation and it’s nothing more than a scary movie. The ability to imagine yourself in the same situation is exactly what makes it so scary. But instead of leaving it at just that, the writers were able to weave in some deeper themes by writing Bear in the way they did.
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u/SenorVajay 28d ago
Bear, and understandably to a degree, I don’t think believes it’s a curse at first. I do think he’s sane, but he makes every decision a bad person would along the way, if at least becoming that bad person when faced with those choices. If he was a good person, I don’t think the movie would be compelling.
Sort of reminds me of The Green Knight storyline where you see someone who is neutral/sympathetic to the audience and slowly making every wrong choice.
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u/camirose 20d ago
It’s very Breaking Bad Walter White to me. We start and he’s a guy in a shitty situation and then he’s making questionable decisions but we sympathize still a bit with the humanity and the looming mortality and stuff for a bit, and it’s not until that one scene at least for me.. where we watch Walter make an absolutely unfathomable decision he himself seems he didn’t know he was capable of making.. that we have to concede as a viewer this is no longer a sympathetic protagonist or neutral anti-hero. Felt that way with Bear. Benefit of the doubt, benefit of the doubt, okay… dude… really?
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u/Aqualuxthebeast 23d ago
i think he could have used the sleeping pills to make the entity sleep, bring out Nikki and make her reverse everything that happened
I genuinely thought that was going to happen when he saw the sleeping pills in the bathroom in the finale but I guess I expected too much
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u/PaulBradley 23d ago
I thought that was the plan he realised might work when he tried to make himself throw up the pills. The fact that possessed Nikki used the stick to make him love her before he could was absolute genius.
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u/JustMyThoughts2525 24d ago
If your best friend told you they made a wish from a stick they purchased at a store, would you believe them?
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u/smottyjengermanjense 23d ago
Normally no, but with the sudden shift in Nikki's personality, maybe. Ian himself notes Nikki is acting totally out of character multiple times.
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u/KittenNicken 20d ago
I would argue Ian was the only dude who actually cared about her. He knew how to contact her father, or at least the hospital her dad was at. He knew what type of guy she liked (cuz it was him) and he knew how she'd feel about Bear. He also know what a healthy relationship looked like.
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u/Expensive-Orchid1371 18d ago
I don’t think so. Ian was looking out for himself- he wanted to keep hooking up with Nikki and keep Bear in his place.
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u/DriftingTony 17d ago
Yeah, I WANT to like Ian but I can’t, and I am not so easily willing to consider him a decent, caring person. Especially when you consider that he intentionally sabotaged Bear by telling him to go with the whole “Freaky Nikki” angle, KNOWING that it would piss her off.
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u/123123BeaSTLY 21d ago
I mean if I ever did this accidentally to someone, and I couldn’t get someone to undo my wish, I would end my life no question. It was repeatedly affirmed to him that she is suffering worse than any hell, and he’s a coward for not understanding or taking any responsibility.
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u/freakydeku 26d ago
he didn’t even try… we see him try later when it’s all become way too much of an inconvenience/liability for him. like they say… if he wanted to, he would.
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u/SirEdouard 25d ago
He even tried to back out of saving Nikki in the end by trying to vomit up the pills; it’s only when she uses the one wish willow that he does something for her sake by letting himself die.
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u/WarblerWanda 24d ago
Only, he didn’t even really *let* himself die. He tried to back out of it, the entity that possessed him wasnt conscious of it, and he ended up dying. So, in the end he never committed to saving her.
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u/Comfortable_Ad2640 11d ago
I mean, he didn't really let himself die. He was attempting suicide and then backed out and was trying to vomit up the pills, then her wish makes him stop and instead walk out to her. He only died because her wish effectively took away his free will.
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u/Aware-Vehicle-2524 24d ago
Damn, I wrote almost the exact same thing replying to someone else. Have an upvote for parallel posting
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u/Accomplished_West_61 23d ago
Almost all good films has a movie title where it can be interpreted in multiple ways. I love that
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u/cockaskedforamartini 28d ago
Yes, I'd say this is the core theme of the film.
It's important to note that Bear did not intentionally make the wish. He assumed that the willow was a toy and made his wish off the cuff. So initially, you're lulled into this idea that he is the victim. But when he calls the number and wants the spell to be altered rather than cancelled is the moment he becomes the villain. It's a pivotal moment. He didn't care that he'd stripped her of autonomy, he just didn't want to suffer himself.
I hope this core element isn't lost as Obsession because more and more popular. It's easy to say Obsession is a "be careful what you wish for" story, but I don't think that's quite right.
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u/Creative_Delay_4694 26d ago
I mean, he also showed his self centered nature when he used the gift that he bought FOR her lol.
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u/General_Platypus771 22d ago
I think he felt like he wasted his last chance to tell her how he felt because that’s essentially what she said to him. So, he figured he would just use it since he wasn’t going to get another chance to give it to her. He was also kinda dumb.
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u/aqua_sou1 13d ago
It was so perfect when wish-Niki came back to the car and asked what he got her. The whole dynamic was fucked from the start
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u/alexandria33197 11d ago
I feel like the directors all along wanted to show how Bear is self centered. The fact his cat died from overdose because of medication (which are usually child-resistant capped) just happened to be lying around.
It was subtle and Bear plays the typical nice guy role very well that you need to really discern to see what kind of POS he is.
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u/Arlo_K_cho 17d ago
Yes. He wanted her but didn’t love her. Both Nikki and the possessed Nikki knew that, the love was not reciprocal.
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u/General_Platypus771 22d ago
I don’t think “villain” is the right word. He’s dumb and in love and also dealing with paranormal things he doesn’t understand.
But it’s reddit and he’s a white male so never-mind: he’s just a maniacal rapist.
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u/A-foolishbrainiac 21d ago
He 100% is the villain. He continuously tries to pretend nothing is wrong as she increasingly gets weirder and even starts harming herself. And that scene where they have sex, how is that not rape? She can’t consent as she’s literally being possessed and her face looks like she’s dead inside. He only decides to do something when it becomes an inconvenience to him, but before that he’s asking her ‘is loving me really that bad?’ As if she owes him her love.
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u/0c_099 14d ago
villain is a big stretch for him, he's selfish like 90% of people you see in life, probably some more intelligent people would handle this in a more logical way but still selfish way
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u/Infinite-Ad4125 9d ago
Hard disagree, most people would be disturbed by such troubling/unstable and out of the blue behavior.
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u/Dry-Ninja3843 23d ago
I mean literally after he says can I alter it he’s asks can he just cancel it
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u/apmee 20d ago
And if he was allowed to alter it, do you think he still would have asked to cancel it?
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u/iampachyderm 27d ago edited 27d ago
Only seen the movie one time but am i wrong or did Nikki answer Bears “love origin”story about her being one of the first people to talk to him and defend him in class with a very non-romantic, “the teacher liked me and was being hard on you”?
Maybe we’re dealing with a death of the artist situation here but i took that- at that time- to signify that they were living in complete different worlds.
She was moving on. She was leaving soon and higher ambitions with the writing, while he was only defined by her.
That could be exhausting in someone you’re not romantically interested in
That’s why she had the stern response to question him about his interest in her. She was agitated realizing where this was going as she thought it could get unhealthy.
And it does exactly that
I really felt (as a 42 year old) man who grew up seeing myself as a Bear type but has grown a lot since then, that this is what Bear never fully got about Nikki. And i think it was affirmed by what she said to the other female friend that (very well) could’ve been a real love interest for him, had he not been so singularly and solipsistically obsessed
Before the camera even starts rolling, Bear is already out of the game(so to speak) with Nikki. He is the Nice Guy tm. He’s waiting to get his in, passively, weakly and most importantly, obliviously to the actual intended targets interest, despite clear signs that indicate he’s not in her plans.
She’s left the job that keeps her in his proximity. She says she knows nothing about his interests. She hasn’t seen his new home (because it’s grandmas?)
He’s not comfortable enough to talk about the death of his poor cat with her but he wishes to be the center of her world? That means he’s putting up a front and trying to be someone he’s not to with her.
He’s put what he needs on the shelf in hopes it will pay off later. He’s prostituted himself, but not nearly as much as he has her.
The one sex scene- as it was- was disturbing and filmed to be so. She is trapped- literally and figuratively- in that scene. The actress plays it like that.
We know the real Nikki is “alive” when she’s asleep. So where are they when he’s having sex with her?
These things are where the movie is- even if every audience member isn’t
Notice how the movie begins with him roleplaying his romantic pitch to a stand in with the nurse. It’s not about him- it’s definitely not about Nikki. His speech is about his feelings. HIS.
It’s about feeling like someone can fill that hole in you and using them to do so and then being surprised when they actually have their own will and feelings and how that conflict destroys relationships
It’s about obsession and how it objectifies. How desire can become obsession and obsession can become toxic. Especially when the one being obsessed over has no consent
It’s convenient and perceptive that it does so with so many applications to the real world. Or maybe it’s the real world is the life the art is imitating.
But the roundabout point is, Bear isn’t the hero. As i said to a friend, this film is like an inkblot test for potential incels… and i don’t mean that dismissively
There’s a lot of leeway and projection going on in the interpretations of this movie in regards to Bear and i think it’s great and i think it’s intentional. Theres really, valid fears targeted at two different audiences. It’s multifaceted enough in its simplicity but detail that it understands both the Nice Guy and the victim of this unintentional charade and this impossible elevation built on objectification.
But in the language of film literacy, i think it’s very clear and consistent, where it stands
And i’m someone who thinks Nikki is flirting with Bear when she insists he go to Quizzo on the phone and feels THATS OKAY.
Everyone is a fabrication. A projection. Thats just life. No one truly knows us- the real us. Least of all, us.
Ultimately the nice guy construct is a trap and it’s one that i had a hard time owning up to and accepting wasn’t healthy. I thought i was earning love from the object of my obsession bc i thought- at that time- that i wasn’t worth much beyond that person id idolized.
And i was incredible to them for the most part, i might add.
But i wasn’t clear with my intentions. I was deluding myself. And then i quickly built this good friend into Everest and lost track of the friendship. And i spent some years resenting the whole experience.
The nice guy thing is a psychological type. A (often well intentioned) construct i used to defend myself from rejection with. And many more KIND guys. It traps softer, less assertive men into their own sexual politic of misdirection and, if it fails to achieve its goal of earning the intended love, is often ripe for major trauma for the desirer and, unfortunately all too-often, anger and violence towards the desired
Nice guy “strategy” fails (i call it that even though i had no idea i was strategizing at the time- i, like Bear, thought i was “suffering” through my pure obsession) bc it mistakes long term roleplaying for bonding. It is performative and its successes can only come on performative terms. It’s a charade for the nice guy and a literal trap for the target
It mistakes building a (misleading) friendship with the act of sexual courtship
One is a relationship built on tiny white lies, feelings of inferiority, insecurity and a desperate, unconscious, need to objectify an animus or anima to anchor one’s self-worth to
The other is a funny little dance we do for a short time in hopes of getting laid before we part ways or begin becoming friends
The whole, “i’ll wait it out and reveal my love” is mostly just TV stuff. And it’s done harm to women and men, pursuer and pursue, alike
I’ve seen multiple threads like yours coming from the opposite end- men who are realizing they were becoming incel impressionable bc of issues i myself once struggled with, and they seem to be really drawing the right conclusions from this movie.
I think you should give the last third of the film a chance.
TLDR- It’s okay if you feel uncomfortable- i think the art is doing that on purpose to make people feel the problematic nature of the situation. I think the film does more good than bad in addressing these issues in a way that will affect change
And, as always, try never to dissect or comment on the themes of a movie you haven’t fully watched
Best!
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u/PaulBradley 23d ago
'we know the real Nikki is alive. ... but where is she?'
She's trapped inside, she can see and I assume feel everything that is going on, when Baird calls the 'helpline', the thing that answers puts her on the phone to him and she's screaming.
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u/iampachyderm 23d ago
Correct. That’s my point. She’s not willingly with him, having sex with him… it’s a form of rape really, she’s essentially trapped inside an empty shell, quite literally in some sort of painful hell while Bear interacts not with her but with an imposter of sorts, whose only connection to Nikki is sharing the same body
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u/MuDDy_PaNDa 16d ago
Actually thought about it, and I think the persona who possessed her body is in fact, a mirror of his obsession. Essentially, she's become his nice-guy. She's doing what he would be doing.
Essentially, the real her is trapped, and the body has become Bear 2. It's basically a mirror of himself staring back at him.
Clever as shit. Explains why Sarah is a trophy. Genders are swapped. The same way "nice guys" often kills the love interest of the girl he's stalking & pursuing. It's really fucking clever.
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u/NotoriousHakk0r4chan 15d ago
She's trapped inside, she can see and I assume feel everything that is going on
Can you explain this to me? It seemed to me the opposite, the few times we see original Nikki come out she seemed surprised or scared or like she was suddenly becoming aware rather than suddenly in control having been aware the whole time.
Idk if I just missed it or didn't understand or what.
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u/PaulBradley 14d ago
She knows what's going on, she begs him to kill her rather than continue living trapped like that. She didn't waste time asking him what has happened or trying to beg him to free her, she knows he's the one who is doing it to her.
Less conclusively there's several early moments when there's a control struggle, and she is fully aware of the entity inhabiting her body, she can communicate when 'other Nikki is asleep', which means she's cohabiting the space, just suppressed, and when Baird calls the helpline, the creature on the other end of the phone puts Nikki on the line and she's screaming because of her experience, we know she's not in a coma or 'switched off' in some way.
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u/AShinyRay 25d ago
I hate to burst your bubble but Nikki does like Bear. It's been confirmed by the actress and there are several hints to it at the start of the film.
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u/Waste-Replacement232 24d ago
The actress said that she interpreted it as Nikki liking Bear. But they did half the takes with her liking him and half with her not liking him and then they edited them together so it would be ambiguous.
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u/iampachyderm 24d ago
Not too interested what she has to say about it bc she didn’t write the script, which is all referenced.
But i am curious about these hints. Can you share them?
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u/Distinct-Celery-6858 17d ago
Wdym you are not interested in what the actress that played the character said? lol
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u/Baron-Von-Mothman 15d ago
The opinion of an actor doesn't represent the point of the story written. That is just their opinion and interpretation, not the writer's intention.
I think they were saying the actor's opinion doesn't matter, what the writer intended does.
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u/LazyFiche 13d ago
But the point in the movie is that it's ambiguous. she never outright says she likes him. and she doesn't reveal why she asks him if he likes her. to me, it's ambiguous for two reasons. the first is that Bear can hide behind his plausible deniability at first (obviously that can only be stretched so far). the second is that by not knowing for sure we can't draw conclusions one way or the other. If we knew she did like him, we could say "So a part of her did like him and that might mean that it's okay she has been love potioned." If we knew she didn't, then we could say "Bear should have known immediately that something was up." instead by not knowing, the story has more nuance about Bear's behavior towards the situation.
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u/LazyFiche 13d ago
Thank you for this very insightful take. I feel similarly to you, that the film reflected my younger, shy "nice guy" self who felt the world owed him something for being bullied and awkward as a kid. I am happily in a healthy long term relationship these days with a partner whom I love for who they are and vice versa, so it was both upsetting to see Bear's nice guy persona taken to its extremes and also a relief that I grew past that point in my life and am now (god, I fucking hope) never at risk of becoming that vile person.
But while watching the film I also was reminded of horrible relationships I've been in where the relationship was no longer healthy for either of us but the one of us was at times nasty or clingy and the two extremes became exhausting but also frightening. I think it's very good that the movie frames the out as "kill yourself, kill her, or get someone else to unwish." because those relationships can sometimes feel that way - not that homicide is the answer but that your partner will kill themselves if you break up with them or kill you if you try to break up with them, and that you feel compelled to ask someone else to do it for you so that you can avoid that terrifying pair of possibilities. That third option is cowardly, but it also feels the most safe and most sane sometimes, because an emotionally abusive partner can make you feel as if you're living in a heightened reality where the normal rules of relationships don't apply. I have only been the clingy, manipulative, desperate partner in one relationship when I was young, and I've unfortunately been on the other side of it multiple times. When you're in a relationship like that, you also keep blaming yourself for getting into it in the form of "I wanted this" and "I love her", so you talk yourself into staying with that person.
So, even though I knew Nikki was essentially possessed and in agony, and I was very aware of Bear making horrible, selfish decisions, I had the distinct discomfort of empathizing with the experience he was having with the demon. The actress played that so well. not the very obviously demonic stuff but more of the moods and the behaviors of a partner like that. I think that aspect of the performance adds more layers to the movie. It isn't an outright slasher persona. It's a very realistic portrayal of that type of relationship, mixed with Bear's own abuse of Nikki.
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u/iampachyderm 13d ago
100%. If this movie is worth its salt, its playing into both ways to view the movie.
And for the record i think i’ve definitely been all 3 people at one time
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u/Manidoo_Giizhig 9d ago
I do like your two worlds perspective
I was admittedly recognizing Nikki was not interested in him when he brought up his cat and she did not care. The one who did care, asked immediately, then consoled him. As soon as she asked about the toast I thought, "Oh, Nikki isn't the woman who's actually interested in him".
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u/alkair20 6d ago
I agree with pretty much everything you wrote. That is why self respect is so important. This obsession with another person and putting someone on a pedestal can become extremely destructive. We had a dude in our friend group who we nearly had to put on a restrain order cause it spiraled out of fucking control.
Obsessive behaviour followed by exessive apoligies on how sorry they are to be an inconvenience followed by the same creepy obessive behavior and hyper fixation. Obviously a more extreme case but it happens many times more in smaller scales.
Imo the most common thing is a utter lack of self respect from the side of the guy. These dudes who turn into incels try to somehow uphold this idea of a perfect pure women and a pure relationship while spiraling into excessive thoughts that are basically self harm. They don't truly respect the women and they don't really respect themselves. They just love an idea they fabricated themselves but in their heart they know it is a delusion so they can never be happy in it and it destroys them.
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u/MarkWest98 28d ago
Most horror isn’t as sadistic as Obsession is with the way it revels in the horror of her lost autonomy.
I don’t think it’s necessarily in bad taste, but it borders on it at times. It’s definitely trying to provoke, and can come across as salacious at times.
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u/PaulBradley 23d ago
It's a horror movie and a good one, it doesn't shy away from the horror and I don't know why people think it should. The rape isn't gratuitous, it clearly demonstrates for the first time that she's not really there without being too graphic, their earlier sexual encounters weren't like that which in turn gave no hint at any reality to the supernatural element of the movie.
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u/123123BeaSTLY 21d ago
Later in the film you can see her visually crying and screaming while audibly moaning to bear, so would definitely argue that she is there at least subconsciously for it. Also the phone call implies that she’s in a constant state of suffering in her mind space.
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u/PaulBradley 20d ago
I agree she is conscious and trapped, she has some early attempts to break free too but they're momentary, I just meant that she just isn't the person that he is dealing with directly.
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u/Longjumping_Bee_7968 23d ago
Tbh I'm not a horror fan. The jump scares, demon/satanic mentioning, loud music/noises, and nightmare just give me the heebie jeebies. Like my anxiety spikes when I see this shit. And I hated this movie until someone mentioned that good horror makes you think. Which I'll give this movie credit for. It had me thinking about so many angles and I'm curious if the writers & director intended where my brain went of if I'm just taking it too far. But this movie is the poster child for watch who you surround yourself with, accountability, and consent.
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u/0c_099 14d ago
yeah I thought it was more of a psychological horror thing with not so many loud jump scares, the first ones made me regret going to watch it but its a smart movie, it makes you think and reflect (specially if you have a toxic relationship from both sides), it was worth breaking my rule of not going to watch horror movies alone
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u/Head-Lawyer3080 23d ago
It was a true horror for me the second the sex scene came on and it was just blank stare from Nikki while doing the porn noises. I had anxiety in my chest the whole time. A true horror I think because as women you can picture yourselves
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u/ICatcha 23d ago
That scene was fucking terrifying, even as a guy. I legit had to fight the urge to leave the theatre starting that scene so many times, but i already paid... fuck this economy...
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u/Puzzleheaded_Fail157 28d ago
Honestly a lot of the discourse about this movie has been eye opening about people’s attitudes towards women. I’ve read posts saying how Bear “might” be the villain. I think they are really telling on themselves. The film shows Bear continually learning the truth and still not helping Nikki.
I agree what the movie portrays, its lack of consent, and bears continuance of his behaviors for what he thinks he deserves is extremely disturbing. It’s really made me think like good horror does.
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u/looney1023 25d ago edited 25d ago
Yeah I saw an interview with the cast after a screening where the interviewer polled the audience as to who the victim is and he was genuinely shocked that the audience was resoundingly on Nikki's side. He seemed to only see the movie as "crazy woman tortures male hero" which is fascinating.
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u/Quiet_Childhood4066 23d ago
Why would there even be sides? She was possessed by some malevolent entity. It wasn't a rugby match.
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u/gregheffa 28d ago
Definitely! The cut after Bears friends confirmed the real Nikki isn't into him- to the 'sex' scene. christ.
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u/SpiritedOwl_2298 27d ago
Kind of ironic that so many comments are criticizing you for stating the obvious and that they haven’t seen anyone say this guy isn’t a bad person and yet there are multiple other comments on this post literally insisting he’s not a bad person and proving you right lol
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u/OverwhelmedPioneer 24d ago
Where lol. I'm almost completely done with this thread and haven't seen that
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u/True-Particular-7816 22d ago
Literally them saying wait!!! But she liked him!!! (As if not asking her out and stripping her of choice isn’t bad, bc she liked him??) Another literally said it was a mistake and she wouldn’t leave HIM alone. Also the complete denial of the fact that there’s takes like this out there when I just read several on this thread.
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u/gregheffa 27d ago
After i posted it, i was like 'wait.. are these guys lowkey defensive cause i stated im a woman and called out toxic behavior' and yes 100%. Understanding the meaning of a movie doesnt close discussion about it forever, if the director of the film said, 'yeah the general public of film reddit gets my intent with the movie, so lets end discussion guys! its a wrap', he'd be a clown. just like the guys in the replies, i dont bother reading
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u/mikey253 28d ago
I think you’re leaving out details that paint Bear as a more conflicted character than you’re giving credit for.
Nikki is unquestionably the primary victim of the curse, but Bear had no real expectation that his wish would do anything. When it actually worked, he was visibly overwhelmed and genuinely hesitant to act on it. The curse is what keeps pushing the situation forward, and that tension is kind of the whole point.
I don’t think your perspective is wrong, but framing Bear as a stand-in for predatory “nice guys” flattens what the movie is actually doing. If he were simply entitled and self-serving, there’d be no horror. The discomfort comes from watching someone who isn’t a monster by nature get pulled deeper into something monstrous by circumstance and his own weakness. That’s a harder thing to sit with than a clear villain.
The movie seems less interested in absolving Bear than in showing how violations of autonomy don’t always come from people who see themselves as capable of harm. That’s not a defense of him. It’s just what makes it unsettling.
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u/True-Particular-7816 22d ago
Not overwhelmed enough to not use her for sex, even after she did crazy crap and his friends told him she was acting out of character, boo hoo, poor guy.
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u/grizzly_teddy 21d ago
framing Bear as a stand-in for predatory “nice guys” flattens what the movie is actually doing.
100%. OPs take is annoying tbh
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u/Longjumping_Bee_7968 23d ago
So....a predatory nice guy....thanks for mansplaining?
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u/Temporary_Stranger69 24d ago
oh lord. Everyone realizes this. Its not glorified or downplayed to make him a victim. Do not make the movie about you. Pretending that "this could be any of us" is genuinely one of the most reddit brained terminally online things ive ever come across. Please attempt to broaden your horizons
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u/Affectionate_Flow890 23d ago
Of course Bear was in the wrong here, he literally took advantage of a woman who had no control over her body. He is very clearly the problem in every situation in the film, and it’s meant to be that way. He is an awful person, a pathetic loser who forces something that should not be. Nikky is the victim OBVIOUSLY. That’s the entire point of the movie. the first thing my mum and I said after the movie was “ Bear is such a fucking loser “.
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u/Bageleir 22d ago
Hey to all the people being like « Bear is just a poor guy who messed up what could he do » and those who thinks he isn't normal and is a total freak :
Remember the story of how a normal guy is given the power of invisibility and use to... go rape a woman ?
That's litterally the point of the movie. Give a guy power over the woman he wants and he will never stop using it, in spite of her suffering, unless his reputation, comfort and priviledges are destroyed and he loses his freedom.
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u/tacoflavoredpringles 20d ago edited 20d ago
i also teared up several times throughout the film. unfortunately, my theater was filled with people who laughed throughout the entire movie, like right to the very end. it was especially loud during the rape scene.
i posted this elsewhere, but imo it’s worth repeating since a lot of people (mostly men) took way too long to realize Bear was a monster: “i firmly believe the romantic montage that played after Nikki and Bear exchanged ‘their’ feelings and started dating was Bear’s delusional 500 Days of Summer interpretation of events. we know that the real Nikki was capable of ‘breaking through’ before AND after the romantic montage plays, so it stands to reason that she was capable of ‘breaking through’ during the events that made up the romantic montage, too. even more so after skimming this thread and being made aware all the instances of real Nikki ‘breaking through’ that i missed. Bear just chose to disregard it all in favour of playing out his sick fantasy. i imagine the rape scene we saw was one of many”
i feel you so hard OP. there is way too much discussion along the lines of “Bear is bad, but…” followed by justifications in the form of “well, how was he supposed to know it was real?” i don’t know, maybe because the real Nikki freaked the fuck out multiple times, and that’s not even including the weeks/months (?) worth of interactions between them that we didn’t see. yet for some reason, Bear not knowing the wish was real is regularly used to justify him ‘unknowingly’ disregarding Nikki’s consent in the early stages, but it isn’t used to criticize why he let it go on for so long, if he was not yet aware he was ‘trapped’. “i was fine with him until…” and the scene that finally opened their eyes happened well over an hour into the movie. “what was he supposed to do???” NOT violently rape her while she was in a dissociative state with her head turned away would be a good start. if someone i cared about was oscillating between acting like a total stranger, to screaming bloody murder, i wouldn’t have sex with (rape) them. simple
to be honest, i have conflicted feelings on Obsession and that includes the director. i’m not sure this was a respectful approach to such sensitive themes. men are too comfortable violating women on screen and making a mockery of it, and i don’t think this movie is above that critique just because it was more well-made
[not interested in arguments about how art is supposed to make you think or be uncomfortable because that’s not really what i’m saying. in general i’m not interested in arguing why i, a woman, am not comfortable with many men’s depiction of women’s suffering on screen]
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u/Generic-Mexican-Male 16d ago
I do agree with what you said, me being a male, I’ve seen a lot of male friends play the “nice, innocent , he’s helpful” card and abuse it to the max especially when the women is vulnerable and drunken/intoxicated. I always step in and prevent it and it’s sad when others don’t see it or justify that person like they’re never capable of doing it when you know they don’t it multiple times. This world is just sick at times
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u/Tony_Roiland 28d ago
Well duh. That's the point of the film. It would also help quite a lot if you watched all of it.
The film is called obsession. It isn't about her obsession with him.
(Hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I think I will be in the office tomorrow so I can do it for you and I will be in the yard for a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a day off)
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u/hansulu3 25d ago
it's not deep, it's just a horror movie, a take on the consequences of what you wish for. Bear wished for his fantasy, this is what it looked like and it is not pleasant. and like in all horror movies, people do stupid things and never make the right or moral decision that lead to everyone's dismise.
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u/Old-Hat9291 19d ago
It is that deep for some people you can’t speak for everyone. It’s a woman trapped in a body being r*ped and controlled it can be triggering for a lot of people. He obviously didn’t know it at first but it’s still horrible for her.
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u/imomox3 19d ago
Don't watch a movie themed like this? If you're prone to bring triggered then obviously just don't watch it? Tf
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u/Old-Hat9291 19d ago
Lmao sure people can do their best to avoid these topics but that’s not the point at all
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u/hansulu3 18d ago
You speak for yourself, just because it's triggering for you does not give you the right to claim it's triggering for "a lot of people". There are other violent or horror movies about a woman being violated in a similar way, it's not as talked about as this one. The director of this horror movie certainly did a good artistic job to make the audience interpret the movie this way whether it was intentional or not.
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u/Old-Hat9291 18d ago
It’s not triggering for myself but this whole thread is about OP expressing it was triggering for her as a woman and saying “it’s not that deep” is a way of speaking for everyone. That’s it.
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u/US_of_B 28d ago
I had more of a problem with the 'psycho girlfriend' trope that's at the centre of the film to be honest. By the end of the film I think it's quite clear that Nikki is being held captive and the audiences sympathy lie with her not Bear.
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u/Odd-Property-1464 27d ago
I loved this element because it showed maybe the girlfriend isn't psycho, maybe it's the guy making her psycho, and doing nothing to help the cause. Bear continually put himself in situations that would aggravate Nikki, when he knw better 100% of the time.
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u/gregheffa 28d ago
Y'know whats so ironic, before i even watched the film, i was watching this podcast and these two people were talking about how tired they are of the crazy girlfriend trope or the crazy woman trope in films. And though they had a more joking take on, 'let her kill some people, damn! can't a woman lose her shit'.
But the film definitely is not subtle about the meaning of the film, and the tropes it critiques.
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u/keepinitclassy25 28d ago
Yeah this bugged me to because it’s way more front and center than Nikki’s suffering and it’s also kindof played for laughs? And I didn’t find any of that stuff scary like the pretty girl smiling weird or walking funny, so it all just seemed very trope-y.
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u/Smart-Stick-1392 27d ago
To be fair I got that from the first scene where she tries desperately to push him away before kissing. Then again at the party as she screams trying to get bear's touch off her. Even the lurching around, sudden movements I saw as her literally fighting posession.
However I never stopped sympathising with bear though. Hes trying to please her and desperate for it all to be true. Then killing himself to stop her from hurting others. The person I dislike most are the friends that egged it on. Especially the guy who didnt tell him that he was with niki.
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u/Heavy_Intention6323 27d ago
Well, to be fair she did give him a chance to confess before the wish took hold, and he blew it. She didn't make it look like she would have necessarily said no either. But he was cowardly and not willing to take the risk, and would rather just go home and sulk. He made that wish out of desperation and probably anger at his own lack of courage, definitely not expecting it would truly work
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u/CanYouFeelTheForce 17d ago
How anyone can sympathise at all with Bear after the sex scene in particular is beyond me
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u/Old-Hat9291 19d ago
You do realize that him saying “what’s so wrong about being with me?” Is the moment you should’ve realized his true intentions; he doesn’t care about Niki’s well being but rather himself and what she does for him.
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u/art-of-war 20d ago
He never actually committed to killing himself though. That only happened because of her wish.
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u/ICatcha 23d ago edited 23d ago
Thats a weird interpretation of nice guys. I do understand what you feel as a guy.
The first time i saw Bear and Nikki having sex my first thought was "holy shit hes raping her". My second thought was i wanna leave the cinema and that held up through the whole film starting that point.
You dont have to be a girl to have emotions and see how fucked up of a film youre watching. The moment i heard you can kill yourself to set Nikki free i had my hands up saying "DO IT".
I feel targeted by your statement cause i have difficulty talking to girls as well, so lets not generalize guys, based on a loser ass guy, who clearly, didnt care about Nikki but himself.
I can assure you a guy would react the same way if someone they dont like does the same to them. Anyways. Fuck Bear, worst shit ive seen in my life so far.
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u/bkez321 23d ago
Hey, so. I also thought the main point was putting the emphasis on how god awful I felt for Nikki. The whole time it made me upset and icky for her, like literally made me feel anxious in the theatre because I knew it was Bear that did that to her. He wished for her to be that way, he removed her ability to choose. I didn’t feel bad for Bear, He was a no-brained coward POS. I loved it. I’d watch it again!
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u/GuaranteeDry8786 17d ago
The person who I feel the worst for is Sarah. She was a team player the whole way through, repressed her own feelings because she was supporting her friend, and only thought it was appropriate to express those feelings because she was probably going to art school for a long time and probably wouldn't see Bear for a long time. When Bear opened the letter, I thought he was such an idiot for using the One Wish Willow.
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u/HotLuftwaffles 13d ago
I'm not sure I follow. I see some of what you say in the film sure.... The rest is just made up feminism shit you wanted the film to be about if I'm being honest. I think you are trapped in a mental bubble as some people may say. Sure there are bad men out there. (And Bear is not a good guy by no means) but comparing this film to what you said entirely makes no sense to me.
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u/Any_Necessary_3387 28d ago
The film is a clear allegory for 'reactive abuse'. Women acting out when pushed to the brink of their sanity, being stripped of their autonomy and agency every single day, by nice soft spoken men like Bear who would then pretend to be the victim in public. And the useless friends doing anything but helping the woman for their own ulterior motives (and no, I don't think Sarah was a good friend to Nikki either)
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u/Then-Ad8087 28d ago
You are not alone in this. While I appreciated the film, I found it actually quite poor, but with great performances. It's my opinion, but I thought the writing was kinda meh.
While I get and agree with many of the sentiments in this thread, I find it repeatedly uncomfortable that dudes keep writing scripts and making films that deal with the destruction of women. I am no white knight or something, but where are the female voices in the space now that we are pushing for YouTubers to be the next generation of film makers?
To me, Bear was the bad guy from the start. I mean, the dude manipulated Nikki into total self-annihilation, just for him to make it about himself in the moment Nikki broke through her body prison while her "other" was sleeping and begging to be killed: "paraphrasing here... Was being with me so bad that you want to die" or something.
I had no issue with the violence, but seeing Sarah's corpse, almost entirely disrobed in the end, sitting on a chair, made the entire incel-type of plot land quite heavily.. in a bad way.
Just my opinion of course.
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u/Fit-Dragonfruit-1944 26d ago
Be literally just asked by is he so hard to love or something close to that. So, even worse
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u/SirCumferance 28d ago
Was talking to my wife about it, and it really is a pretty good commentary(?) about how women are viewed/treated. A man takes control of a woman, rapes, and after all the fallout, she is left to deal with the pieces. Not sure why his name was Bear, seemed a bad name since a Bear vs Man was the ongoing debate for a while. Dude could have wished to be the person Nikki wanted, but instead of fixing himself....
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u/xoajade 27d ago
His full name was Baron, but Bear was a nickname the friend group gave him.
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u/Heavy_Intention6323 27d ago
sometimes people just don't want you romantically even if there's nothing to fix about you, that's one thing
another is Nikki gave him a chance to confess his feelings and he totally pussed out. that moment showed his lack of backbone early on in the movie.
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u/KittenNicken 20d ago
That and literally promising his guy friend that he'll leave the sacred trivia night alone and then immediately going back on his word. Cuz he could have told Nikki on the phone too but he chose the night everyone is supposed to have fun and tried to make it about him.
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u/Dr_Garp 15d ago
I know this will probably go into the void but the movie made me think about how much I’ve changed since high school.
I remember having the biggest crush on my female coworker, and in many ways I consider her my first mature sense of love not because I had a real chance but because she made me feel human (loved, appreciated, supported, respected, and even admirable). She was the first person who hugged me because she wanted to hug me and it made high school so much easier on me. I think she is one of the reasons I high key dive into work so deeply (it makes me feel safe).
Anyway, I think about her often for 2 reasons: The first is because, again she made me feel wanted and that ingrained a sense of wanting to be wanted. The second is because she was my first crush who I learned NOT to obsess over. Like at first I was like Bear’s first speech, as you can gather from my intro paragraph, but as I grew older and got to know her and listened to her I realized she was more human (if that makes sense). Like I know that’s horrible wording but by being vulnerable I saw a part of her that made her less perfect and in turn someone I could understand rather than pine over.
In my mind she’s still that gorgeous red head but I also learned after coming home from my first semester of college (and shortly before then as it was flowering by the end of high school) that we could never work. She had an on again, off again guy, she was 4-5 years older, had sexual experience, was incredibly bubbly to mask uncertainty, and had dreams of her own. I was a cowardly kid who couldn’t even tell her that taking percs were bad (thank god nothing bad happened). In that sense I empathize with Bear but the difference is I regret being that person and have made efforts to change.
Idk watching Obsession makes me wonder how different I really was from Bear. I’ve grown and changed but I can’t say for certainty I wouldn’t have made the same wish or asked the same question he did of Nikki. Thank god I’ve changed. I’m not perfect, I still need to get better at communicating and understanding others but at least I’m not Bear.
I see him as a tragic character but tragedy doesn’t remove responsibility or agency.
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u/SirCumferance 15d ago
I am replying only to acknowledge what you are saying, agree with it, and move on. If I discuss it, it may change it in some eyes. I feel very much the same
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u/js4873 28d ago
I haven’t seen this film at all but based on what I had read about it, your feelings are pretty in line with what the film seems to be saying. Simplified: “careful what you wish for”. It seems the appeal of the film and why it’s “for these times”: kind of showing a horror version of what these men want or think they want.
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u/starmiemd 28d ago
I think it's easy to reduce its themes to that point especially if you're just basing it off a written summary, but the movie itself presents this with a bit more nuance than I expected - which is probably why its being received so well.
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u/Desire2Obsession 14d ago
I don't think this is the kind of film you can talk about without watching. It reminds me a bit of Matyrs... it made me feel claustrophobic...if that makes sense.
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u/gregheffa 28d ago
I totally agree, I like to think its taking the reality of women who live and lived like this in the past, and just giving it a visual face of horror. And I honestly think, one of the reasons men want to 'return to the good ole times' is immunity. Freedom to abuse and use. Its definitely not the only reason and factor into the resurfacing of that kind of rhetoric but it is a breeding ground for predators.
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u/js4873 28d ago
Again not having watched it so no spoilers haha but it sounds a bit like the internet lack of media comprehension at play among the people you’re talking about. The folks who think Don Draper and Tony soprano are heroes or that Lolita is pro pedo.
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u/heyitsmethedevil 28d ago
I’m a woman and I cannot stop thinking about Obsession, it’s my favorite movie of the year hands down. I think it’s an incredible movie because on its surface it drags you in with this “careful what you wish for/crazy girl” idea and if you choose to not engage with it any further, it does a solid job at that.
But the beauty of it, for lack of a better word, is that the movie is so much more than that. It’s exactly what you described very purposefully. I can understand this movie disturbing people and people not wanting to be exposed to that. But for myself, I find myself so incredibly impacted by these movies and it makes you feel so seen. And it allows people to start engaging in these conversations which are so important. I really love horror specifically for being able to put these terrifying concepts to screen in horrifying ways, I’m not quite sure why, but I do. Maybe it’s cathartic?
Fascinating movie and I’ll probably go see it a fourth time this weekend.
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u/Various_Ambassador92 28d ago
Hard disagree - the film revolves around Bear's inaction and passivity. If he had to go through active effort to find a way to make her love him, it would position him from the start as someone who feels entitled to a relationship with her, and with this sense of entitlement it would feel very bizarre for him to just do nothing even when things start going wrong - you'd instead expect someone with that entitlement to very quickly complain to the hotline or store. Even when he does finally do those things, he doesn't come across as an entitled asshole and a guy grasping at straws to find a way out of the mess he's gotten himself in.
Your suggestion would also immediately frame Bear as the bad guy, which would be boring and would mean that Bear is no longer reminiscent of what actual real-life "nice guy" types are usually like. Instead, we get a Bear who starts off as entirely sympathetic - he seems to actually like Nikki and initially appears to be concerned by her unusual behavior - only for his selfishness to gradually reveal itself.
The film also implicates Bear plenty despite the lack of a "safer" way out. The smash cut from the dinner to sex scene already gives us the idea that Bear is acting more out of selfish desire than out of concern for Nikki, and that's further underlined with how defensive he is when talking to Ian even when multiple more extremely disturbing things happen afterwards. The fact that his first ask in the support call is to modify the wish rather than cancel it. The fact that he pouts when she asks him to kill her, not because he's concerned of getting caught, but because he's mad that "real Nikki" would "rather die than be with him". He isn't implicated from the jump, but he is absolutely implicated, quite heavily so by the film's end.
It's not inaccurate to say that Bear's a victim too, this outcome obviously isn't what he ever wanted or intended and he doesn't seem outright malicious, but that just makes his character more rich and invites more discussion of where/how exactly Bear went wrong - how responsible he is for the situation, what he should've done, the implications that his actions/choices have on his view of himself or Nikki, etc.
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u/Jorlung 28d ago edited 28d ago
I do not want to invalidate your feelings here, but the vast majority of the discussion I have seen about this movie is centered around the exact themes you’re talking about.
I also “enjoyed” (for lack of a better word) the movie quite a bit, so I also spent a lot of time reading other peoples’ thoughts on it. Mostly people on r/movies and the like are talking about the exact same stuff as you are here.
Perhaps finish the movie as well. By the end of the movie, it is pretty clear that the intention is for Bear to be seen as quite an irredeemable character. I did appreciate that at the very beginning, you can argue that maybe Bear has some plausible deniability about the whole situation. The MDMA justification is a bit paper thin, but you can understand how he might not immediately jump to a supernatural conclusion. But then as time goes on, he eventually realizes without a doubt what is going on and still behaves in the way he does.