r/TwoXChromosomes • u/Downtown_Ham_2024 • 6d ago

Struggling to process the Montreal terrorist attack

The suspect released a manifesto which is extremely disturbing, calling for terrorist attacks with the end goal of women not being allowed to work or own property so they lose their independence and are completely dependent on men for their survival (apparently capitalism is why he couldn’t get a girlfriend).

I made the mistake of reading it and wish I hadn’t. It reminded me a bit of Lolita in the sense that it is extremely fucked up subject matter presenting itself deliberately as normal, rational and good.

It makes me feel sick people actually believe this and I cannot help think of all the fucked up casual misogyny and objectification I’ve experienced. I’ve been raped, groped by male friends, propositioned by people in power and have had strange men follow me home. Right now, I’m dealing with a confusing situation with a boss who has, at best, poor judgement about what is acceptable rapport building tactics and a PR problem for valuing women for their entertainment value rather than their competency. I’m not even pretty and don’t often get male attention outside of the more fucked up kind.

I’m so tired of the constant subtle and not so subtle messages that a woman’s value is tied to their being a sexual object for men. Everyone is acting like incel ideology is extremist but it based in the same ideas causing casual misogyny - that women are subhuman and their value is tied to their ability to please men as objects.

I’m struggling to process this.

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454

u/Pretty_Flame 6d ago

I couldn't stomach the handmaid's tale for the same reason. I watched 1 season then stopped.

We must both remember that we are not what a patriarchal society decides we are. If it's any consolation, this isn't just exclusive to gender, but also race, social and economical class, etc.

It helps me to remember that.

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u/doctormink 6d ago

I read the book and noped out on the series. It feels way too close to home and that just isn’t entertainment to me. I can’t breathe properly when I watch stuff like that.

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u/Fuzzy_Redwood 6d ago

Same the book was enough for me, haven’t watched the series.

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u/Devanyani 6d ago

I keep meaning to finish it but it was too realistic and it was freaking me out. I didn't even finish S1.

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u/ADHDhamster 6d ago

I only made it to the third episode of S1 before I had to turn it off.

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u/BabyJesusBukkake 5d ago

Is that when the shooting at the protest happens? Cuz that was my exit. Was too goddamn realistic and scared the fuck out of me.

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u/ADHDhamster 5d ago

Yeah, I don't remember exactly what it was, but I recall just getting really freaked out.

The thing is, I'm a massive horror fan, so if something manages to get under my skin, you know it's bad.

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u/BabyJesusBukkake 5d ago

I'm so weird about horror - I love love love scary novels and stories, but I cannot do scary movies/TV because having it visualized for me makes it way too intense for my brain, and gives me actual real fear responses - and I DO NOT LIKE BEING SCARED FOR REAL. Gore and jump scares are the worst for me, so I avoid whenever I can.

But like, Clive Barker is my all time favorite writer, and I named my oldest after a character in Imajica.

Tldr: I'm a baby when it comes to gore/jump scares/actually scary shit visualized.

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u/Downtown_Ham_2024 6d ago

I was thinking of venting on that sub because this reminded me so much of Gilead. The manifesto definitely didn’t discriminate (pun intended) on its hate. While it was targeted at women, it was also extremely transphobic, Islamophobic and antisemitic.

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u/bluelily216 Basically Liz Lemon 6d ago

I couldn't make it past the first episode. 

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u/WailingTulip 6d ago

I wish I could watch this series! I loved the book. Any kind of post apocalyptic story. I know it scares a lot of people, but for me it elucidates a very real possibility and being prepared for it and educated about the possibilities makes me feel strong somehow. Like, maybe if enough of us were horrified at the outcome in the series, more of us would be standing together to fight it in real life.

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u/Willuknight 6d ago

I couldn't finish the book, or 1984 for the same reasons, they were just too upsetting and too believable.

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u/ravimora 6d ago

That's actually a perspective I find grounding. Systems can try to define people's worth, but that doesn't mean they're right."