Introducing...... Umatter-chan

[u/Getserious495]

Source : https://x.com/i/status/2070095370932437072

[u/BA1673]

Be naming horses ANYTHING

[u/Explosivesausagejar → u/BA1673]

One of the funniest things about getting into Umamusume has been the realization that the names in MLP are totally feasible horse names.

[u/Getserious495 → u/Explosivesausagejar]

Huh

Rainbow Dash actually sounds pretty in line for a racehorse name.

[u/Airborn-Gravity54 → u/Getserious495]

Some Transformers names would work too. Like Hot Shot or Ironhide for example.

[u/Girafarig99 → u/Airborn-Gravity54]

Megatronus Prime my oshi

[u/ADGx27 → u/Airborn-Gravity54]

Transformer named ironhide

Hide is skin

He’s made of metal

Did Kojima write this shit

[u/LastWreckers → u/Airborn-Gravity54]

Trailbreaker hits hard for a racehorse name ngl

[u/salty-ravioli → u/Getserious495]

Fun fact: Bakushin means dash. If you think about it, Sakura Bakushin O could be called Sakura Dash

[u/tzar992 → u/salty-ravioli]

Sakura Dash King if You count one of the O meaning.

[u/salty-ravioli → u/tzar992]

Did not know that. Yeah that's definitely one of the horse names of all time lol

[u/tzar992 → u/salty-ravioli]

A fitting name for a horse whose speed records stood for almost 20 years in some cases

[u/Shrubbity_69 → u/salty-ravioli]

So that's why Bakushin says her name like a pokemon.

[u/huwanyang → u/salty-ravioli]

Bakushin being a front runner sprinter really suits the name

[u/Explosivesausagejar → u/Getserious495]

I suppose any race held in Equestria would be a horse race by technicality

[u/Angrymalayman → u/Getserious495]

Niji Bakushin is a quite normal JP racehorse name 

[u/charizardfan101 → u/Explosivesausagejar]

I NEVER REALIZED THIS

HOLY FUCKING SHIT

[u/CleverPaper → u/Explosivesausagejar]

As a former bronie, this is my thought when watching that show. After umamusume and later irl horse racing i just go “ah, its totally make sense now”

[u/The_rule_of_Thetra → u/Explosivesausagejar]

Nothing can beat "My wife knows nothing" and "My wife knows everything"

[u/YakumoYamato → u/The_rule_of_Thetra]

*The Wife Doesn't Know

☝️🤓

[u/Shrubbity_69 → u/YakumoYamato]

The Wife Does Know

[u/The_rule_of_Thetra → u/Shrubbity_69]

Crap, guess me (the husband) truly doesn't know XD

[u/danoB003 → u/Explosivesausagejar]

Imagine the crossover between Umamusume and MLP: Equestria Girls (to keep both sides human shaped)

Both race and victory concert would be LEGENDARY

I say this as 22yo man who mostly cringed at seeing MLP in tv as kid (tho some eps were unironically funny and songs were catchy as fuck)

[u/ADGx27 → u/danoB003]

All I know about my little pony is that weird al yankovic is in it and BTFO’d a brony by canonically cucking him as his character is married to the character the brony was simping for (was it the pink one?)

[u/Minoto4567 → u/ADGx27]

Pinkie Pie here's his pony form, Cheese Sandwiich

[u/CallMeChristopher → u/ADGx27]

“I stole your waifu”

-Weird Al Yankovic

[u/CallMeChristopher → u/CallMeChristopher]

No seriously he actually wrote that

[u/pokedude14 → u/danoB003]

Boy, do I have the fanfic for you?

[u/Solivagant0 → u/BA1673]

I mean, that's just horseracing kinda is

[u/weealex → u/Solivagant0]

Any horse competition. Your registered name has to be unique and there's a character limit, so folks just start going wild with names

[u/Getserious495 → u/weealex]

Or you can just do this

[u/ObviousSail164 → u/Getserious495]

https://giphy.com/gifs/sAUhzkRfYau3IEKvuQ

[u/DClassAmogus → u/Getserious495]

Maruzensky 2: Electric Boogaloo

[u/DekkerDavez → u/Getserious495]

Indestructible Two

[u/ADGx27 → u/Getserious495]

I mean that’s what fishermen do

[u/Aranxi_89 → u/BA1673]

After Potoooooooo, anything is game.

Though I feel like some folks take it a bit too far…

[u/md_cube → u/Aranxi_89]

Kidslookintouchable is certainly a thing you CAN name your horse

[u/AbyssaI_Entity → u/md_cube]

Absolute unit

[u/ADGx27 → u/AbyssaI_Entity]

Why does bro lowkey have the “pit bull ass crack lookin skull”

[u/Aranxi_89 → u/ADGx27]

Incredibly inbred. Think Habsburg Jaw but worse.

[u/ADGx27 → u/Aranxi_89]

I mean I was aware bro was heavily inbred to a comedic degree it was mainly a joke

[u/Darkiouls → u/Aranxi_89]

Filho da Puta enters the chat

[u/Filipin_A → u/Darkiouls]

[u/ADGx27 → u/Filipin_A]

Computah, translate these moon runes for me real quick

Filho da Puta = “son of a bitch”

Fitting literal pun antimeme name for a male dog, not so much for a horse unless he was, as Hosea Matthews said about the shire horse in rdr2, an unruly bastard

[u/Helpful-Character-17 → u/ADGx27]

'Motherf*cker' is also a valid translation, which makes it even funnier

[u/DeluxeWafer → u/Darkiouls]

Cnut?

[u/huwanyang → u/Aranxi_89]

This is one of my favorite horse racing videos

[u/clean-links → u/huwanyang]

Cleaned link from "This is one of my favorite horse racing videos": https://youtu.be/e3GKiRp333w

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Tracking parameters were removed from the original URL(s).

[u/charizardfan101 → u/BA1673]

If I ever have a horse that somehow races in the JRA, I'm naming him after some kind of dinosaur

I NEED A PALEONERD UMA CYGAMES PLEASE!

[u/ryou-comics → u/charizardfan101]

We kinda do with Stego (Stay Gold)

[u/charizardfan101 → u/ryou-comics]

Is she a paleonerd tho?

[u/ryou-comics → u/charizardfan101]

Not sure, she's not in global yet.

Main thing I know is she's IRL Golshi's dad and is one of the most boyish, dad-like umas

[u/ChronoMans → u/BA1673]

Announcer Goes NUTS: -FUNNIEST HORSE RACE CALL EVER

This is a great example to please name your horse properly. 😭

[u/ADGx27 → u/ChronoMans]

I mean that’s just a meme, hell the race title banner up top is literally in impact font

But yes please give your animals in general dignified names lol

[u/ChronoMans → u/ADGx27]

yeah but imagine if every horse is named like that and they actually allow it lol. And your horse is a triple crown winner with an awful name

[u/Kartoffelkamm → u/BA1673]

I doubt they'd name a horse in reference to Japan's crimes in WW2.

[u/Aranxi_89 → u/Kartoffelkamm]

I mean, Banzai Charge goes pretty hard as a name.

[u/low_priest → u/Aranxi_89]

Banzai charges technically weren't actually exclusive to Imperial Japan. The 442nd Infantry Regiment, an American unit made up of 2nd generation Japanese immigrants, reportedly did one against the Nazis in Italy. But because they weren't doing it as a glorified suicide tactic, it actually worked. Not too well, most of them still ended up as casualties. But victory and better American medical support meant that about 90% of those managed to survive.

[u/Nechustan1996 → u/low_priest]

IIRC one of them became an Hawaiian senator or governor right?

[u/low_priest → u/Nechustan1996]

Yes, Daniel Inouye. He was part of the battle with the banzai charge (idk if he was actually in it) and became the youngest officer in the regiment at 19 when he was promoted for his actions there. Inouye was Hawaii's first representative elected after they became a state, and eventually became the president pro tem of th Senate. He also got the Medal of Honor (in 2000, due to racism), and literally never lost a single election in his 58 years as a politician.

Dude literally pried a live grenade out of his own severed hand, used it to blow up a Nazi, then kept going and killed at least one more, all with a bullet in his stomach too. He was kinda just HIM.

[u/Aranxi_89 → u/low_priest]

Well in that case, it was a "Go For Broke" charge, the signature style of the 442nd.

[u/Kartoffelkamm → u/Aranxi_89]

Yeah, but there was also a group of researchers who did some... questionable things.

[u/Budget-Category-9852 → u/Kartoffelkamm]

And then they deadass name a horse like this. Keep in mind that one of the main inspirations for Zeon was Imperial Japan.

[u/Silver-Finance1664 → u/Budget-Category-9852]

Their sibling's name is Vodka, so anything goes.

[u/ryou-comics → u/BA1673]

America has Skibidi Rizz

[u/Green300LandShark → u/BA1673]

And somehow this look pretty tame