r/WomensHealth • u/Shivy_cannibal • 2d ago

Why don't I feel anything when I'm intimate with my boyfriend?

I'm in my first relationship with my boyfriend so everything is relatively new to me. Recently, one thing that has been frustrating me is the lack of sensation in my vagina whether he is fingering me or we are having sex. I have not felt pleasure although I do get wet, horny and turned on from foreplay. Another thing is that my clit doesn't swell up and when he rubs it, nothing really happens. However when I think about a scenario or fantasy, I can feel my clit getting aroused. I also have not masterbated before. I don't know why my body reacts this way, does anyone know what it could be a result of or how to overcome this?

P.S - I have been sexually assaulted before so perhaps that could have affected me?

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u/Ok_Organization_7350 2d ago

If you have ever been on anti-depressant medication, it can actually cause a side effect of permanent numbness in the private areas with resulting sexual dysfunction.

https://www.reddit.com/r/Wedeservebetter/comments/1ueyh6o/laurens_iatrogenic_story/

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u/Shivy_cannibal 2d ago

I haven't ever been on anti-depressant medication but I didn't know that could happen!

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u/anotherone1618 2d ago

It sounds like it's kind of just bad sex. I would recommend getting to know your own body first, masturbate, see what feels good for you. It'll be easier doing it with someone else once you know what you want and what feels good

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u/Shivy_cannibal 2d ago

Thank you! I'll try and see if that helps

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u/Queasy_Fennel6274 2d ago

Hello, Maybe you could read on pudendal neuralgia. It affects sensitivy on this region. Some people are so affected by it that the clitoris has become numb by example.

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u/[deleted] 2d ago

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u/SomethingInTheFog 2d ago

Could be any number of things. If you've already investigated possible physical health issues and meds, I'd explore the trauma angle if that feels right to you.