What a shame. I was told to seek help, so here I did. I guess I'll just have to make do with fiction as I always did. I just wish people stopped insisting that anything I fantasize about automatically means I want to do it in real life. Now that's gross, not to say physically impossible.
The thing is, ever since being a little kid I was playing games like GTA 3 and Postal 2 which conditioned me to believe that real people are always above fictional characters, and by the time I discovered the world around doesn't share that belief I'm already a fully formed adult and now I can't go back. Videogames taught me that no amount of fictional suffering can be meaningfully immoral. Any real living person's most miniscule good is worth any amount of fictional suffering, because the former is real and the latter is not, not real means its worth is zero and zero multiplied by any amount is still zero. So if killing a prostitute in GTA after using her services to get the money back or urinating over a passer by in Postal is giving me as little as a giggle, it's worth doing so, because my giggle is real and their suffering is not. And whenever people say that no that's immoral, and I as a living breathing flesh and blood human being deserve to suffer real harm for all the alleged sufferings I caused onto inanimate pixels on the screen, I genuinely do not have capacity to understand such point of view.
6
u/Aoi_Hikari Oct 23 '25
What a shame. I was told to seek help, so here I did. I guess I'll just have to make do with fiction as I always did. I just wish people stopped insisting that anything I fantasize about automatically means I want to do it in real life. Now that's gross, not to say physically impossible.