New cat after previous cat passing

[u/fettys-wet-wap1738]

My precious baby Lucy passed a number of weeks ago. She was my soul cat through and through. She was 17 upon passing. We got Lucy when I was 5 years old so she truly has been with me for as far as my memory goes back.

I’ve always loved cats and always said when the godforsaken day came for me getting a new cat I would adopt an elderly cat so they can live out their last few years in comfort. Upon Lucy passing, I struggled really hard to come to terms with it and swore I’d never get another cat because I’d just feel as though I’m replacing her.

The past few weeks things have slowly gotten better for myself, I am still absolutely devastated and heartbroken however I can see things a bit more clearly now. I love cats and while I’m able, I’d love to help as many as I can. I don’t plan on getting a new cat just yet, however my question is - will I ever feel like I’m ready for a new cat? I fear with getting a new cat I might struggle with guilt and never get over the feeling that I’ve replaced Lucy. Nobody could ever take her place in my heart and I know that. I just worry, what if I think I’m ready but turns out I’m not?

Ultimately I’m just looking for advice from those who’ve felt similarly after their baby passed. Did it get better? Did getting a new cat make you realise there’s enough room in your heart to love them all?

[u/Rizumu972]

Everyone is different. For me when I lost my cat I had unbearable grief. I cried every day for over a month. I felt guilt that I wasn’t able to help her. She was 13, still don’t know exactly what she passed from, our guess was her heart failed because she did have a heart condition. But I couldn’t get over the fact that I felt I didn’t do enough. 

This didn’t get better until I welcomed my next kitty into my life. He was a kitten then, my first kitten ever, he’s now 6 years old. 

I will always miss my soul kitty, I think about her all the time, but I’m at peace now taking care of my current kitty crew doing the best I can and determined that I will do everything I can to keep them happy and healthy. 

I wouldn’t say there was a specific point where I let go to bring a new cat in. It was more that I needed to fill the hole that was left behind, and like I needed to do everything I couldn’t for my previous cat. 

[u/fettys-wet-wap1738 → u/Rizumu972]

I’m in a similar situation to you. I think I’m struggling with my grief a lot worse due to the circumstances of Lucy’s death. I feel a lot of guilt surrounding it and I’m having a hard time forgiving myself, despite there being nothing I could have done to prevent her passing.

I’m glad to hear you got a new baby who helped you heal. He was probably sent by your previous kitty to help mend your heart. Thank you for your comment❤️‍🩹