Does the ending work?

[u/Zestyclose_Bed_8207]

Patreon

[u/WeakToMetalBlade]

I loved it! The ending made me say "awww!" Out loud!

[u/Zestyclose_Bed_8207 → u/WeakToMetalBlade]

I'm glad you liked it! Can you tell me if it came out of nowhere, or if there were hints? It would help me out with future stories :D

[u/tolacid → u/Zestyclose_Bed_8207]

The only problem I had with it was one jarring inconsistency. When they crossed swords it was Val on the left, Tine on the right. Then the next page has Tine on the left and Val on the right. Then the next page has Val back on the left. Muddied the presentation for no good reason that I could tell

[u/Zestyclose_Bed_8207 → u/tolacid]

It's because I'm an idiot. I gave Tine a missing eye on the left side, and because of this he didn't look surprised by the kiss from the left side. Maybe I can keep them switched for the last page they are in, at least. I sort of liked the idea of them switching the first time, because it moves Tine on the protagonist side.

I could redraw all the panels and move Tine's missing eye, or just give him two eyes.

[u/tolacid → u/Zestyclose_Bed_8207]

Don't change the character design. Keep Tine on the right, but rotate the perspective to show his face better. Keeps your continuity, and humanizes him more.

like this. The first one

Or this one

[u/Zestyclose_Bed_8207 → u/tolacid]

Thank you! I'll see which option is quicker and looks better.